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    (Original post by aspirinpharmacist)
    What I mean is that whether you end up in a relationship or not is kind of down to chance. You can be the best, most attractive version of yourself you can be, and still not end up liking the same people who like you. So while you'll be more likely to get noticed if you become more attractive, it's out of your control as to whether or not you'll actually like the people who are noticing you.
    Indeed!

    but more exposure, getting more noticed, getting more approaches - leads to having more potential partners who share a mutual liking to each other.

    It's just like in the sales I do - get the product to as many of my target audience as possible, I will have more success and make more money.
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    (Original post by Collette94)
    In what way? Facially or figure wise? With effort, anyone can have a great figure.

    Post a picture of someone you consider "below average" facially and is styled properly... I doubt they actually are below average?
    You can have both an incredible body and correctly styled face and still be below average facially eg. Neil Back and Mike Tindall, or many other older pro rugby players.
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    (Original post by Le Nombre)
    You can have both an incredible body and correctly styled face and still be below average facially eg. Neil Back and Mike Tindall, or many other older pro rugby players.
    Yh, but overall you'll still be fairly attractive.

    With effort, I reckon most people could at least be average. I mean, look at how many people in the UK can't even stay at a healthy weight FFS.
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    (Original post by Collette94)
    Yh, but overall you'll still be fairly attractive.

    With effort, I reckon most people could at least be average. I mean, look at how many people in the UK can't even stay at a healthy weight FFS.
    Depends what you use to measure, Tindall's clinically obese on BMI

    Yeah, probably true, but with effort most people could be a lot of things, you choose what you put effort into and how much you put into it, for some people looks just aren't one of them. After all, for guys particularly, putting your effort into becoming unusually rich and powerful may be more likely to pay off than just becoming average looking.
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    (Original post by Collette94)
    "with effort"
    But then surely other people making an effort will still be above you. Is your advice only mant for women, by the way? I don't see how a man can make a massive difference, unless he's obese or dresses like a tramp or something.
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    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    But then surely other people making an effort will still be above you. Is your advice only mant for women, by the way? I don't see how a man can make a massive difference, unless he's obese or dresses like a tramp or something.
    Most people do not make much of an effort.

    As I said above, over half the adult population in Europe is overweight even if you're just looking at one thing. You could get an "above average" figure just by being reasonably healthy.

    A lot of people around our age are also unfit not in the sense of being overweight, but just generally not exercising and being "skinny/skinny fat". Possibly more relevant for guys, but you're less likely to be considered physically attractive with no muscle on you.

    The only thing girls can do that guys can't is wear make up. Which, while it can make a noticeable difference, is hardly enough to differentiate the sexes. If you're unattractive without it, you'll probably be unattractive with it - lipstick on a pig and all.
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    Being socially polished can be a predisposition in my mind. I think people who can socialize effortlessly who think its a simple as breathing are wrong. Its a way of thinking that some others cannot do easily. If you had a chat with a few people in a room of pure mathamatics phd students most of them will find dealing with people difficult.

    (Original post by Collette94)
    Now I know attractiveness is subjective. But why do so many people nowadays (most in fact, I would say) try to "fake it" instead of actually trying to be what is generally considered attractive?

    There are so many things people can do to become more attractive to others - learn how to exercise and eat healthily and get in proper shape, improve their social skills and life, take good care of their skin and hair and learn how to style themself, become more well-read, develop a decent personality and hobbies etc. Edit: Read my second post below for advice on how to change this. In other words, become a more well rounded human being. Of course this takes work. Instead, people look for the easy solution and end up wasting time on BS.

    Why do, for example, so many guys waste time looking up fancy pulling techniques, or girls waste hours on make-up and clothing according to the latest "fashion trend"? People don't usually reject others based on this kind of stuff, I have yet to see a guy turn down a girl because her eyeliner was winged or skirt wasn't trendy or a girl turn down a guy because he thought up a chat-up line himself instead of reading it from "The Game" or wasn't using enough "seduction signals," WTF that means. On the other hand, it is no surprise that the most popular people who take care of their looks and are well-educated and socially skilled don't have to read umpteen relationship or "pulling" books in order to get attention from the opposite sex.

    If you are not yet an attractive person, then stop whining about **** like why you don't have a relationship or can't pull people, and stay single and improve your weakness instead of trying to hide it. You can't dodge around being an overweight girl or a puny weakling guy or being a ***** or a sleaze or a creep or having no social skills or being an uninteresting person with no hobbies, work on it instead of trying to run away from your problems. Maybe, then, you'll find that you're secure enough in yourself you don't need to turn obsessing about the opposite sex into a hobby, either.

    Being attractive, and relationships and dating, is not hard, and you do not have to take a damn university degree in it or try to "trick" others into finding you attractive. I am sick of seeing all these threads on here along the lines of "I'm overweight and out of shape, I have no social life and no friends, I have no hobbies and stay indoors all day, I have no job and sit in my room at uni, I have no social skills and keep trying weird pick-up lines/"game" but it never works, the opposite sex are so mean for not going out with me wahhhh."

    Discuss.
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    (Original post by Collette94)
    Most people do not make much of an effort.

    As I said above, over half the adult population in Europe is overweight even if you're just looking at one thing. You could get an "above average" figure just by being reasonably healthy.

    A lot of people around our age are also unfit not in the sense of being overweight, but just generally not exercising and being "skinny/skinny fat". Possibly more relevant for guys, but you're less likely to be considered physically attractive with no muscle on you.

    The only thing girls can do that guys can't is wear make up. Which, while it can make a noticeable difference, is hardly enough to differentiate the sexes. If you're unattractive without it, you'll probably be unattractive with it - lipstick on a pig and all.
    For young men that may be key, but I have seen some absolute bloaters of partners (in corporate law firms) who are happily married to women way out of their league and have half the seccys in the office, mostly half their age, drooling over how attractive they are too through a combination of their job and being funny. There other ways, particularly for men but women too, of making yourself attractive besides looks, and I say that as someone about to go to the gym!
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    (Original post by Le Nombre)
    For young men that may be key, but I have seen some absolute bloaters of partners (in corporate law firms) who are happily married to women way out of their league and have half the seccys in the office, mostly half their age, drooling over how attractive they are too through a combination of their job and being funny. There other ways, particularly for men but women too, of making yourself attractive besides looks, and I say that as someone about to go to the gym!
    I never said it was all about looks, indeed that's what my first two posts are all about :pierre:
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    (Original post by Collette94)
    I never said it was all about looks, indeed that's what my first two posts are all about :pierre:
    The 'If you are overweight/puny/skinny....' para is somewhat confusing then, is it in there as a bit of a decoy or something?
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    (Original post by Le Nombre)
    The 'If you are overweight/puny/skinny....' para is somewhat confusing then, is it in there as a bit of a decoy or something?
    I said:

    If you are not yet an attractive person, then stop whining about **** like why you don't have a relationship or can't pull people, and stay single and improve your weakness instead of trying to hide it. You can't dodge around being an overweight girl or a puny weakling guy or being a ***** or a sleaze or a creep or having no social skills or being an uninteresting person with no hobbies, work on it instead of trying to run away from your problems. Maybe, then, you'll find that you're secure enough in yourself you don't need to turn obsessing about the opposite sex into a hobby, either.
    What I obviously meant was that, if someone has a clear characteristic that's generally considered unattractive (physical or otherwise) and they are complaining about being unlucky in love or feel that you are that way, they should stop complaining, and work to rectify that characteristic instead.

    If you're obese but have good social skills/a great personality and don't need advice from a thread on how to be attractive because you are already getting all the attention you want, more power to you IMO. This thread is clearly targeted at those who feel they do.
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    (Original post by Collette94)
    What I obviously meant was that, if someone has a clear characteristic that's generally considered unattractive (physical or otherwise) and they are complaining about being unlucky in love or feel that you are that way, they should stop complaining, and work to rectify that characteristic instead.

    If you're obese but have good social skills/a great personality and don't need advice from a thread on how to be attractive because you are already getting all the attention you want, more power to you IMO. This thread is clearly targeted at those who feel they do.
    Fair enough, just seems a bit unnecessary, surely it's blindingly obvious that being in shape, funny, socially confident etc. are attractive traits and being unhealthy, unconfident and socially inept are unattractive traits? If the number of A*s listed on here are true I'd be concerned if people can't work that out for themselves by just looking around!
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    (Original post by Le Nombre)
    Fair enough, just seems a bit unnecessary, surely it's blindingly obvious that being in shape, funny, socially confident etc. are attractive traits and being unhealthy, unconfident and socially inept are unattractive traits? If the number of A*s listed on here are true I'd be concerned if people can't work that out for themselves by just looking around!
    People have a tendency to blame others (particularly the "others" who are turning them down regularly) for their problems with their love life, especially. You've probably noticed from a lot of the threads on here.

    There is this idea, perpetuated by the media, that you are owed a relationship/sex just for being who you are CAUSE YOU'RE SO AMAZING, which quite frankly deserves to be repeatedly beaten TBH.
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    (Original post by Collette94)
    Most people do not make much of an effort.

    As I said above, over half the adult population in Europe is overweight even if you're just looking at one thing. You could get an "above average" figure just by being reasonably healthy.

    A lot of people around our age are also unfit not in the sense of being overweight, but just generally not exercising and being "skinny/skinny fat". Possibly more relevant for guys, but you're less likely to be considered physically attractive with no muscle on you.

    The only thing girls can do that guys can't is wear make up. Which, while it can make a noticeable difference, is hardly enough to differentiate the sexes. If you're unattractive without it, you'll probably be unattractive with it - lipstick on a pig and all.
    The face is more important though. There's only so much improvement you can do.

    You just said a couple of pages back a lot of girls liked the skinny indie thing?

    So basically there's not much anyone can do about their face, which is a crucial part of attractiveness.

    For men at least, you're concentrating way too much on physique. I had two mates at uni, one shagged about twenty girls, the other graduated a virgin. The latter worked out and was in better shape, I'd say they're both about the same height and normal looking. The difference is all about being able to talk to girls. Until you meet an average guy who can get girls like that I guess it's easy to think it's mainly about looks. I think my friends more thought that way pre uni, but post uni we agree it's more about confidence.
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    (Original post by Collette94)
    People have a tendency to blame others (particularly the "others" who are turning them down regularly) for their problems with their love life, especially. You've probably noticed from a lot of the threads on here.

    There is this idea, perpetuated by the media, that you are owed a relationship/sex just for being who you are CAUSE YOU'RE SO AMAZING, which quite frankly deserves to be repeatedly beaten TBH.
    I suppose there are a few, but as entertaining as H&R can be I tend to avoid anything that might potentially be the lovestruck moanings of some 18 year old devestated that soandso in their halls who they fell in love with on the 3rd day of Freshers after they tenderly helped little OP home on the first night they'd ever been drunk as a being a bit on the tedious side. The 'why won't my gf/bf let me do anal/S&M/cuckolding/whatever' ones are much better
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    Im sexy just learn off of me, and you'll be fine :*
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    Im sexy just learn off of me, and you'll be fine :*
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    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    The face is more important though. There's only so much improvement you can do.

    You just said a couple of pages back a lot of girls liked the skinny indie thing?

    So basically there's not much anyone can do about their face, which is a crucial part of attractiveness.

    For men at least, you're concentrating way too much on physique. I had two mates at uni, one shagged about twenty girls, the other graduated a virgin. The latter worked out and was in better shape, I'd say they're both about the same height and normal looking. The difference is all about being able to talk to girls. Until you meet an average guy who can get girls like that I guess it's easy to think it's mainly about looks. I think my friends more thought that way pre uni, but post uni we agree it's more about confidence.
    Lots of guys like skinny fat girls who don't exercise at all, too.

    No matter what sex you are, you can get a banging figure with enough effort (which doesn't, for the record, including having no life outside the gym or starving yourself.) Take it from someone who works out.
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    (Original post by Collette94)
    People have a tendency to blame others (particularly the "others" who are turning them down regularly) for their problems with their love life, especially. You've probably noticed from a lot of the threads on here.

    There is this idea, perpetuated by the media, that you are owed a relationship/sex just for being who you are CAUSE YOU'RE SO AMAZING, which quite frankly deserves to be repeatedly beaten TBH.
    You should have married zyzz. You would have made a great couple seriously.
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    (Original post by AreebWithaHat)
    You should have married zyzz. You would have made a great couple seriously.
    I'm not sure if even Zyzz could handled the hatin' that would come from marrying a 15/16 year old...
 
 
 
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