What is the &#x27;nack&#x27; to getting a bf?

Original post by DancinBallerina

LoL It made me smile, so you're forgiven. :smile:

Maybe when I hit the 30s, things may start to improve, and men start to actual looking for substance.

I'm not fussy / picky . .I just know what I look for in a guy. I'm not the type of girl to have anything for the sheer fact of having a guy. A nice guy who is friendly, treats women properly, is all I want. Really don't think I am asking for much :dontknow:

.

Is that what you really want? Where I live they run speed dating events, roughly 20 guys & 20 girls, been about four times no ticks. Many guys that attend these events also get no ticks. The guys for there part seemed friendly, trim etc and so were the girls. My point is that women often pass over many guys after a serious relationship. They bring in tick box exercises, have 'types' and maybe unwilling to change. If your living as a 'independent' female then is the guy to have no role? where does or can he fit in?

I think you need to be open minded about the type of guys out there. The fact that going for the same type of guy leaves you where you are now means that doing the same is unlikely to improve the situation. Yes many a girl want a 'cock of the week' guy but they know they can pick up any girl wow her knickers off for the night then move onto another - if I was this type of personality I would do the same, like a kid in a candy store I would know I could have as much as I would like.

Also, think about you, negatively even, not many of us like to do this but how do you come across really - a bit quiet, non-descript, or full on, over-bearing, etc. Perhaps you are not seen as relationship material yourself so need to alter something. Attractiveness is also key with guys, smiling can make many a girl look more pretty but if your not very naturally attractive then this will hinder a lot. The relationship guru someone mentioned earlier actually seems pretty good, too many girls think it all down to the guys - they don't know how burdensome and difficult this is, some guys are naturals and can easily approach umpteen women (so wont stay with them long) others it is a real difficulty to barge into a group situation without coming of bad - its not an easy thing to do, but they are more likely to be the ones that stick around.

Reply 241

Cremated_Spatula

Original post by DancinBallerina

Can't be arsed with that! Seen that happen to a family friend and backfire!

I'll just wait it out / improve social circles to find a decent fella . . .*tumbleweed*

Woah, aren't your standards a little too high?

Spoiler

Reply 242

Cremated_Spatula

Original post by DancinBallerina

Like a FwB situation?

Nah it's more like swingers.

Reply 243

Anonymous #2

Original post by Legendairy

I think you may be a lesbian. please consider

I hate when people say just because you don't have a boyfriend you must be a lesbian... It makes no sense because in that case why has she not had a girlfriend?

Reply 244

Anonymous #2

Original post by Gavin2016

If your living as a 'independent' female then is the guy to have no role? where does or can he fit in?

I think you need to be open minded about the type of guys out there. The fact that going for the same type of guy leaves you where you are now means that doing the same is unlikely to improve the situation. Yes many a girl want a 'cock of the week' guy but they know they can pick up any girl wow her knickers off for the night then move onto another - if I was this type of personality I would do the same, like a kid in a candy store I would know I could have as much as I would like.

I agree with you about the independent woman thing, a man needs to have a role to occupy in a relationship otherwise there is not much point.

However your second paragraph about going for the same type of guy... Many guys go for the nice guy act in the beginning and sweet and caring and like they are into you but it's all a game they are actually players... So how is a girl even supposed to know what she is dealing with? How do you filter? I mean yeah it's obvious that some guys are douchebags you can smell it from the other side of the room, but there's also many wolves in sheeps' clothing who will say what they want to get what they want.

Reply 245

OP

Original post by Legendairy

I think you may be a lesbian. please consider

No thank you; the vag. doesn't interest me!

Original post by stefano865

No.

The same as a normal relationship but without sexual exclusivity.

Open just sounds complicated! lol

Reply 246

OP

Original post by Cremated_Spatula

Nah it's more like swingers.

Can't be arsed with that. Plus don't really want to be sporting an STD for each day of the week! Like I said elsewhere, my pum pum is tight and well maintained / looked after! This pum isn't given out freely / easily!

Reply 247

user382

17

Original post by DancinBallerina

No thank you; the veg. doesn't interest me!

Open just sounds complicated! lol

More takers. :tongue:

Gives you a shot at a relationship of sorts.

Some 'practice'.

Reply 248

OP

Original post by stefano865

More takers. :tongue:

Gives you a shot at a relationship of sorts.

Some 'practice'.

Read my response above yours lol :smile:

Reply 249

Cremated_Spatula

Original post by DancinBallerina

Can't be arsed with that. Plus don't really want to be sporting an STD for each day of the week! Like I said elsewhere, my pum pum is tight and well maintained / looked after! This pum isn't given out freely / easily!

Too right.

lol y do u keep announcing that?

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 250

OP

Original post by Gavin2016

If your living as a 'independent' female then is the guy to have no role? where does or can he fit in?

So what am I suppose to do; give up my property because that makes me too independent? :dontknow:

Original post by Gavin2016

The fact that going for the same type of guy leaves you where you are now means that doing the same is unlikely to improve the situation.

All the guys I've been with have been completely different; but they vary in age, occupation, personality - they're all different. Even tried going for an older guy, thinking ''Yeh, he'll be so much more mature .. . wrong''!

Original post by Gavin2016

Also, think about you, negatively even, not many of us like to do this but how do you come across really - a bit quiet, non-descript, or full on, over-bearing, etc. Perhaps you are not seen as relationship material yourself so need to alter something. Attractiveness is also key with guys, smiling can make many a girl look more pretty but if your not very naturally attractive then this will hinder a lot.

I'm always smiling, whether I know the person or not, I smile because it's friendly / welcoming and approachable. I've always been commented on my smile as well by friends and family. I may not be a Michelle Keegan, I know that, but I put effort / emphasis in other parts of me, i.e. dressing well, being friendly and welcoming, listening to people and etc.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 251

user382

17

Original post by DancinBallerina

Can't be arsed with that. Plus don't really want to be sporting an STD for each day of the week! Like I said elsewhere, my pum pum is tight and well maintained / looked after! This pum isn't given out freely / easily!

Glad to hear it!

My peen is also not given out easily. :awesome:

Spoiler

Reply 252

Gavin2016

Original post by DancinBallerina

So what am I suppose to do; give up my property because that makes me too independent? :dontknow:

All the guys I've been with have been completely different; all white as men of my own race aren't interested. But they vary in age, occupation, personality - they're all different. Even tried going for an older guy, thinking ''Yeh, he'll be so much more mature .. . wrong''!

I'm always smiling, whether I know the person or not, I smile because it's friendly / welcoming and approachable. I've always been commented on my smile as well by friends and family. I may not be a Michelle Keegan, I know that, but I put effort / emphasis in other parts of me, i.e. dressing well, being friendly and welcoming, listening to people and etc.

No I don't think you need to sell your house you'll be relieved to know. lol, what I mean is if a guy is not taking on the traditional responsibility of provider then this is something you may need to account/adjust for. Do you come across as too independent minded in that you may be seen as someone who just wants to go it alone, how could you alter this view with little things.

From what you put it sounds like you are of an ethnic background other than white and I think for many white guys this is perhaps not seen as a traditional fit they have been brought up to believe in. For sure people aren't necessarily racist but there's a difference between acceptance and loving someone, and that person as being seen as a fit. Naturally two people of the same race can be seen as a fit, different races can also but it adds another dimension that many white guys may not want to deal with.

Primarily though with guy the attractiveness thing is top of the list- probably 80-90 percent of guys go for pretty girls, a girls attractiveness is a big deal for a guy. Sure they don't expect girls to be all models and chemistry is important. However, the more you can do to look good the better, sexy clothing,etc

Reply 253

OP