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    (Original post by apronedsamurai)
    Ok.

    Did you consent to the activity?

    If yes = not rape.

    If no = rape.

    Now, you do realise that you could NOT give consent due to your intoxication, i.e. you were incapitated by the alcohol. Legally then, you were raped.
    That's not the law at all.
    • #6
    #6

    (Original post by ripjonsnow)
    Ignorant people will always be ignorant, despite the presented facts.
    Agreed.

    So many of them want to be "heroes".
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Agreed.

    So many of them want to be "heroes".
    *White Knights
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    (Original post by ripjonsnow)
    Im not sure if you are trolling, or just plain stupid, but you seem to be pretty steady that I used daily mail.
    ..
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...ual-abuse.html
    Yep, I'm sure you used the Daily Mail.

    Looking at the Google search you're determined I do...

    1. That Daily Mail story.

    2. "So it's not clear that there are actually more rapes of men than women" from The Guardian

    3. WP article. Samples: "rape affects women disproportionately", cites CDC study (see #5)

    4. Quora, random answers

    5. The CDC study: nearly 1 in 5 women, 1 in 71 men sexually assaulted, including rapes.

    6. Blog post about Daily Mail article

    7. US charity: "9 of every 10 rape victims were female".

    I'm only looking at more if you pay for my time.
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    (Original post by unprinted)
    Yep, I'm sure you used the Daily Mail.

    Looking at the Google search you're determined I do...

    1. That Daily Mail story.

    2. "So it's not clear that there are actually more rapes of men than women" from The Guardian

    3. WP article. Samples: "rape affects women disproportionately", cites CDC study (see #5)

    4. Quora, random answers

    5. The CDC study: nearly 1 in 5 women, 1 in 71 men sexually assaulted, including rapes.

    6. Blog post about Daily Mail article

    7. US charity: "9 of every 10 rape victims were female".

    I'm only looking at more if you pay for my time.
    Oh no. Im sorry, are you incapable of finding the studies that those reports link to?
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    It's worth mentioning that UK law doesn't actually acknowledge that women can rape men. They use a different sexual offence for it which means that any stats provided for the comparison would be unreliable. So we can't say definitively who experiences more abuse.
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    (Original post by ~Tara~)
    There is no distinction in law that the coercion has to include threat of violence or even force.

    Cps document on sentencing: http://www.cps.gov.uk/legal/s_to_u/s...exual_assault/

    The definition of rape: http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/...rape/section/1
    Yes there is. The CPS document doesn't help, but if you look at the legislation.gov link, there's a section regarding consent.

    http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/...ry-and-general See section 74 & 75.

    In the morning, did she have capacity? Yes. Did she have freedom? It can be presumed, as the only reason given for continuing to stay is having smoked his cigarettes.

    Section 75 states what I said. There needs to be a reasonable fear of immediate violence.

    (a)any person was, at the time of the relevant act or immediately before it began, using violence against the complainant or causing the complainant to fear that immediate violence would be used against him;

    (b)any person was, at the time of the relevant act or immediately before it began, causing the complainant to fear that violence was being used, or that immediate violence would be used, against another person;

    (c)the complainant was, and the defendant was not, unlawfully detained at the time of the relevant act;

    (d)the complainant was asleep or otherwise unconscious at the time of the relevant act;

    (e)because of the complainant’s physical disability, the complainant would not have been able at the time of the relevant act to communicate to the defendant whether the complainant consented;

    (f)any person had administered to or caused to be taken by the complainant, without the complainant’s consent, a substance which, having regard to when it was administered or taken, was capable of causing or enabling the complainant to be stupefied or overpowered at the time of the relevant act.

    (Original post by ~Tara~)
    You can't reasonably believe you have consent if you're having to coerce or persuade it. Because the very act of persuading or coercing means you acknowledge you're trying to change the answer you've been given.

    Coercion also encompasses the threat to loss of love/attention/a privilege/basic needs such as sleeping or eating.

    You can avoid the worry of overstepping the mark by simply taking someone at their word. If their no actually meant yes then it would be on them to make that clear - and to stop saying one thing and meaning another. Rather than taking the default and incorrect position that people either don't know their own mind or seek to play games.
    You're now talking about ethics again. I'm not saying he did the right thing, I'm merely debating whether or not, with the knowledge we have, he would be found guilty of rape. Nothing more.
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    Reading your story angered me. Sounds like he took advantage of you; he saw you were extremely drunk and therefore an easy lay, and chose to take you back to his apartment for that reason alone. By what you've described you never wanted to have sex with him, but because you couldn't stop him from doing it, you'd tell him to put on the condom which was the next best thing you could do to protect yourself.

    You were wrong to allow yourself to end up in such a vulnerable situation, but that contemptible specimen shouldn't have come near you. The answer's yes.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Sorry love, no sympathy here.

    If you can't control your alcohol, what do you expect?
    jesus maybe she was spiked? We don't know but that kind of tone doesn't help anyone, what are you hoping to gain? Nice anon by the way
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    (Original post by ripjonsnow)
    Oh no. Im sorry, are you incapable of finding the studies that those reports link to?
    You mean the one on sexual assaults in US prisons and the CDC report plus what it references? Obviously.

    Have you accepted that even rapists don't agree with you yet?
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    (Original post by unprinted)
    You mean the one on sexual assaults in US prisons and the CDC report plus what it references? Obviously.

    Have you accepted that even rapists don't agree with you yet?
    Facts are facts.

    Im not defending a rapist, im criticizing a vague story, which to me, sounds more like regret than rape.
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    (Original post by Milzime)
    jesus maybe she was spiked? We don't know but that kind of tone doesn't help anyone, what are you hoping to gain? Nice anon by the way
    This...is a whole other story xD

    It would depend who spiked it, the alleged rapist or a stranger in the club.
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    you were raped, he knew you were drunk but took advantage, you didnt consent either

    also theres an advert always on youtube and its about consent, nothing i wanna say about just though it was relevant
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    (Original post by ripjonsnow)
    This...is a whole other story xD

    It would depend who spiked it, the alleged rapist or a stranger in the club.
    true true but I don't think it's fair to blame OP for 'not controlling her drink'

    often people let themselves go with alcohol for various reasons that aren't really their 'fault', people take drugs, etc, the point I'm trying to make is that people do stuff they regret, and then they make sure next time they don't because in life we're fine until we're not. *shrug*

    OP this wasn't your fault
    Spoiler:
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    and I can assume she will be far too scared to ever drink that much again :{ this kind of thing is serious and can affect you hard hard haard
    • #15
    #15

    ''He wanted to do it "again" in the morning but I kept refusing but he still tried and again I told him to put the condom on;. He wasn't like violent though but he was a complete stranger and was like a decade older than me (he knew my age). He didn't ask me for permission, he'd just stop for a bit if I started crying or stopped saying anything. I feel like I couldn't push him away though''

    This is him pressuring you into having sex with him, that is rape, not all rape is when someone physically forces themselves on you but it can be them pressuring you to have sex with them, that is still rape. so yes, this is rape. you should definitely talk to someone about it.
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    (Original post by Milzime)
    true true but I don't think it's fair to blame OP for 'not controlling her drink'

    often people let themselves go with alcohol for various reasons that aren't really their 'fault', people take drugs, etc, the point I'm trying to make is that people do stuff they regret, and then they make sure next time they don't because in life we're fine until we're not. *shrug*

    OP this wasn't your fault
    Spoiler:
    Show
    and I can assume she will be far too scared to ever drink that much again :{ this kind of thing is serious and can affect you hard hard haard
    That is true, and not something I took into account :/ Iv had experience with the negative spiral of life.
    But usually when you are in this spiral you tend to be alone, drink alone, instead of partying etc..But I can only speak from my side.
    But, i actually do see your point.
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    http://www.loveisrespect.org/content...xual-coercion/

    It's not really a moral argument. What is your definition of force within coercion because repeatedly asking, trying to have sex with someone who is unwilling is a form of force.
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    (Original post by ripjonsnow)
    If OP said she didnt want to do it, and was crying, alleged rapist would have been more likely to kill her than let her go.
    I don't know why I've come back to this thread but you clearly have no idea what you're talking about, none at all! So honestly just stop posting...
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    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
    I don't know why I've come back to this thread but you clearly have no idea what you're talking about, none at all! So honestly just stop posting...
    Hold on, OP states a vague story, then at the end states she cheated on her BF.
    It appears im the only person with balls not to argue this anonymously.

    I have a strong opinion of false rape accusations, thats all.
    I understand what rape is and when a person has been raped, but when a story is obscured, then, surely you can tell why im on the defensive?

    Nonetheless im getting pebbled by feminazi's and white knights here.
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    (Original post by ripjonsnow)
    I have a strong opinion of false rape accusations, thats all.
    She's not 'accused' anyone: she said in the first page that she's not going to the police and there's nowhere near enough info for anyone to know who the man is.

    I understand what rape is and when a person has been raped, but when a story is obscured, then, surely you can tell why im on the defensive?

    Nonetheless im getting pebbled by feminazi's and white knights here.
    Even rapists don't agree with you.
 
 
 
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