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How do people manage to go on so many dates? Watch

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    (Original post by SpiritSharD)
    Oh cut the crap with this *******s. I can't even get dates by messaging girls online, there is no way they can sense a "lack of self-esteem/confidence".

    People need to cut the crap and tell me exactly why girls treat me like the plague. If I'm ugly or boring or some other ****, I want to know.
    I don't think you are, maybe it's cuz they don't get to know you, or some of them 'judge a book by it's cover' kind of thing, Your not ugly or boring! Well at least that's what I think. Maybe ask them why they avoid you in that way? Don't know if that would work, but dunno.
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    (Original post by SpiritSharD)
    I forgot to mention something...

    FireFreezer77 There's a reason I started to follow you on TSR. I see you everywhere. You are a social, friendly person. If you keep up the attitude of being outgoing then you will be successful.
    Great post and it's true too
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    (Original post by SpiritSharD)
    That's because it's a movie and not a reflection of real life. You are right in saying that some men (and women) aim for people of higher value/attractiveness to themselves, but that's not necessarily a bad thing because as we should all know, there isn't always a balance in a relationship/casual encounter. I think problem with OP is that he's had his confidence knocked time and time again that it becomes increasingly difficult to think positively or have the courage to keep trying. For many men it is a numbers game, as we don't have the luxury of doing nothing and having propositions made to us (unless you're good-looking, wealthy, high in social value etc). It is not easy.

    I've said it before and I'll say it again; OP is a great guy. I can tell just by the way he posts and how he has interacted with others and myself. It's disappointing to see him down on his luck but I believe without a shadow of a doubt he will find someone given time, and I don't make such statements lightly. All I can suggest is to continue trying but with a sense of ease to it; don't become desperate.
    (Original post by Reachin4TheStars)
    Kind words
    I agree
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    (Original post by Reachin4TheStars)
    Dateless and Proud.
    It's better to go on one or two dates at a later date and be succesful and find someone perfect, the love of your life, than go on tens and hundreds and be left in tears.
    I agree with this Still searching myself
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    (Original post by Reachin4TheStars)
    Don't despare you'll find that perfect, beautiful, and succesful one! Just like yourself
    FireFreezer77
    & Always remember:
    'When a relationship is over, leave. Don't continue watering a dead flower'.
    xx
    I agree yet again
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    (Original post by SassKing13)
    I agree with this Still searching myself
    Awwwhhh same here! May I ask how old you are, if you don't mind? I'm 15, so like even though theirs girls and boys out there that are in relationships, it's not that bad, but I do feel like it's not going to happen ever. But oh well.
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    (Original post by SassKing13)
    I agree yet again
    I'll rep you as soon as possible! You deserve them alot!
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    (Original post by Reachin4TheStars)
    Awwwhhh same here! May I ask how old you are, if you don't mind? I'm 15, so like even though theirs girls and boys out there that are in relationships, it's not that bad, but I do feel like it's not going to happen ever. But oh well.
    I'm 20 and I've only ever had 1 proper relationship so far. That was last year - was long distance and we met through this site actually. I understand You've got plenty of time (people tell me this when I worry about this too ). I really don't think it'll never happen Believe me, if someone had told me that I would have my first relationship at the start of last year, I wouldn't of believed them These things are unexpected in my experience - well, what little experience I've had so far :lol: Don't lose hope, you will find someone
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    (Original post by Jazzy97)
    You need to cut the crap and realise that an attitude like that is not doing you any favours. Take advice with a pinch of salt, but if you can't take constructive criticism, than have a nice day.
    I value constructive criticism Jazzy97, believe me. I will listen and hang onto every word you say.

    You don't have an answer yourself. I tell you women online avoid me like the plague and you have no suggestions as to why. Do you honest to God think I go on dating sites and message each girl saying "I'm desperate and lonely and NEED YOU TO GIVE ME ATTENTION". Jesus hell no, I just strike up a conversation like any other human being and get on with my life afterwards.

    Girls on here avoid me like the plague. Why? I'm not trying to date anyone here ffs. I've messaged people in the past only for them to stop mid-conversation. Why? Am I boring? Intense? Asking too personal questions? What is it about me?

    Girls don't notice me on the street, in the clubs, anywhere. I'm invisible.

    I am fed up of going on numerous internet forums, hiring people, asking friends & family questions only to be given the same *****y response every single time. "There is nothing wrong with you", yet I see it clear as day that women want nothing to do with me. Not as a acquaintance, not as a friend, not as a fling, not as a lover.
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    (Original post by SassKing13)
    I'm 20 and I've only ever had 1 proper relationship so far. That was last year - was long distance and we met through this site actually. I understand You've got plenty of time (people tell me this when I worry about this too ). I really don't think it'll never happen Believe me, if someone had told me that I would have my first relationship at the start of last year, I wouldn't of believed them These things are unexpected in my experience - well, what little experience I've had so far :lol: Don't lose hope, you will find someone
    Oh cool! You've still got your life ahead of you! That's cool! Awwwhhh thank youu! & I hope so Haha, don't worry you'll be adding many more experiences to that one, when people start getting to know you properly, your really lovely! Thank you so much!
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    (Original post by SpiritSharD)
    I value constructive criticism Jazzy97, believe me. I will listen and hang onto every word you say.

    You don't have an answer yourself. I tell you women online avoid me like the plague and you have no suggestions as to why. Do you honest to God think I go on dating sites and message each girl saying "I'm desperate and lonely and NEED YOU TO GIVE ME ATTENTION". Jesus hell no, I just strike up a conversation like any other human being and get on with my life afterwards.

    Girls on here avoid me like the plague. Why? I'm not trying to date anyone here ffs. I've messaged people in the past only for them to stop mid-conversation. Why? Am I boring? Intense? Asking too personal questions? What is it about me?

    Girls don't notice me on the street, in the clubs, anywhere. I'm invisible.

    I am fed up of going on numerous internet forums, hiring people, asking friends & family questions only to be given the same *****y response every single time. "There is nothing wrong with you", yet I see it clear as day that women want nothing to do with me. Not as a acquaintance, not as a friend, not as a fling, not as a lover.
    Alright perhaps I'm being too harsh here, My apologies.

    Do you lead things forward, or do you find yourself talking about topics besides the actual date? It could be the fact that you are not leading things forward and instead are taking a passive role which isn't a good approach.

    Due to the fact that I don't know what kind of content you actually talk about I don't know what tone you might portray yourself in. You might be saying something hurtful or downplaying yourself to them. It could be the fact that you are being over confident.

    All I'm saying is that if you don't make yourself known, like actively going up to girls and striking conversations than you will be invisible.

    Have you ever heard anyone say anything about you behind your back, or any rumors flying around about you?
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    (Original post by Reachin4TheStars)
    Oh cool! You've still got your life ahead of you! That's cool! Awwwhhh thank youu! & I hope so Haha, don't worry you'll be adding many more experiences to that one, when people start getting to know you properly, your really lovely! Thank you so much!
    Yeah I do really...I mean this whole thing does get me a bit down at times, because it is something I would quite like in life The type of person I am though, it's not the partying, nightclubbing, drinking type So I guess it's not the easiest thing in the world for me to meet people I suppose... I don't know. I'm not even looking for loads of dates I'd be quite happy to find that one person to spend the rest of my life with (actually I suppose everyone is like that really ). Thank you very much and you're very welcome
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    (Original post by Reachin4TheStars)
    Oh cool! You've still got your life ahead of you! That's cool! Awwwhhh thank youu! & I hope so Haha, don't worry you'll be adding many more experiences to that one, when people start getting to know you properly, your really lovely! Thank you so much!
    *You can PM me about this if you want. I'm quite enjoying the conversation tbh
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    (Original post by SassKing13)
    *You can PM me about this if you want. I'm quite enjoying the conversation tbh
    Okay, I'll just clear my inbox!
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    (Original post by Jazzy97)
    Alright perhaps I'm being too harsh here, My apologies.

    Do you lead things forward, or do you find yourself talking about topics besides the actual date? It could be the fact that you are not leading things forward and instead are taking a passive role which isn't a good approach.

    Due to the fact that I don't know what kind of content you actually talk about I don't know what tone you might portray yourself in. You might be saying something hurtful or downplaying yourself to them. It could be the fact that you are being over confident.

    All I'm saying is that if you don't make yourself known, like actively going up to girls and striking conversations than you will be invisible.

    Have you ever heard anyone say anything about you behind your back, or any rumors flying around about you?
    I do all of this.
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    (Original post by SpiritSharD)
    Oh cut the crap with this *******s. I can't even get dates by messaging girls online, there is no way they can sense a "lack of self-esteem/confidence".

    People need to cut the crap and tell me exactly why girls treat me like the plague. If I'm ugly or boring or some other ****, I want to know.
    Oh man you're so confused. You need to talk to more girls in general, not even for dates or anything. You just need to start understanding how a women's mind works. Of course a girl can sense confidence or insecurity over text. I've met around 7 girls in real life that I've met online (most without even a phone call or FaceTime session) which meant that the biggest factor to my success is what I said and how I said it.

    If there is one thing you should know, it's that girls are motivated by emotion, not looks. I would consider myself under average on a bad day but yet I have been with girls way out of my league because of my choice of words and attitude, not looks.
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    (Original post by Lemon Haze)
    You need to talk to more girls in general, not even for dates or anything..
    The vast majority of my friends are female.
    I have tried speaking to women on this site to no avail.
    I have spoken to girls at parties, clubs, society meets, work, volunteering with the sole intention of talking. Nothing more.

    Perhaps I'm giving off the impression on here that every single interaction I have with a member of the opposite sex is for the sole reason of getting a hookup/date/relationship. It is not.
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    (Original post by Emily.97)
    I dont think its an achievement to have been on tons and tons of dates. Have you ever seen first dates?
    You'll see a pattern of behaviour where people sift through so many dates because they expect to find some kind of "spark", "click" or "connection" within an hour of talking to someone, when in reality, things take so much more time. So when things dont go perfectly, people give up too soon. People expect too much too soon, and so it isnt necessary to go on loads of dates with loads of people- lets slow things down.
    :ditto: I would rather wait for the right person than go on dates with many random people and lead them on unintentionally.
    I don't just want to date anyone and everyone just for the sake of finding 'the one.'
 
 
 
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