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Pakistani Muslims please help.... Muslim girl dating a white guy
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Original post by Inzamam99
If what the person above says is true (and you havent denied it)- it's also pretty concerning to see a guy who's a hardcore Muslim one minute and disguising himself as a female to get off on girls the next
it's very true. he was deliberately being duplicitous and the muslims he was privately messaging were unaware of his identity and that he was really a male under a deceptive, predatory guise. he only came up with bullcrap excuses when ppl began to suspect that Ruh was a dupe account and he was finally outed as the liar and Internet predator that he is
My mums bf is white
Thread resurrection of peace.
GO FOR IT GURL!!! if your parents or family were really 'religious' then they would know there is no difference in race or ethnicity as long as they have a good heart! tbh im the same as ive never really found asian guys attractive but my parents are happy with that and even encouraged me to NOT marry a paki guy because of the backwards culture LOL. but hoenstly use religion as your strongest argument, cuz RELIGION OVERRULES CULTURE AND NOWHERE IN THE QURAN DOES IT SAY you cannot marry someone from a different race, and if you used the religion argument and they are still like 'EH NO'. then you have every right to still marry the person without your parents consent because theyre restricting you for the wrong reasons, and are going against islam. dont worry about family abandoning you bcause 10/10 times with patience they get over their grudges becuz ur blood at the end of the day, as long as you be patient and be good then god will help you, plus you can become close with your 'to be' husbands family instead if you really want a family 
(sorry for assuming you're Muslim lol even if youre not religious this should still work.. hope i helped )
(sorry for assuming you're Muslim lol even if youre not religious this should still work.. hope i helped )We've got several in my mums side of the family, amazingly most were openly accepted but one aunty did disown her daughter for a while because she had and wanted to marry her white boyfriend, but that was only because the family my aunt was married into are very closed-minded therefore strictly wanted asian guys from the same caste only. long story short they have eventually accepted it but they did make it VERY known that they were disappointed in it. they did things like throw a wedding but deliberately didn't tell anyone in the family until the day it was happening so that very few people would turn up. and they always favour their other daughter/son-in-laws over him. pathetic stuff like that really. hes married to her now and they've accepted it but they are still not close and probably never will be. her husband shows respect to her parents and vice versa but they rarely see each other. and yes that is one of the many, many things I hate about her culture - the narrow-mindedness of so many day elders!!!
if you love this guy, marry him. its the only way that damn culture of ours will die out
if you love this guy, marry him. its the only way that damn culture of ours will die out
I am a Muslim Sunni Arab. I say marry him. If there is a God or heaven, then their job should be to encourage love among human beings, right? Wish you all the best of luck. Congratulations on meeting Mr right
I feel ya girl! In the exact same boat (apart from I'm single) meeting a family tomorrow for the sake of it! Going to feel like I'm an animal being paraded in a zoo whilst serving dinner to a family that I don't even know. Respect is a big thing in the CULTURE not religion! However the close nit family thing in the culture is a big thing. I don't want to lose my family however I know that one day I will have to say goodbye. Unless I somehow happen to actually fall in love with a Muslim guy in the same religious caste!
Original post by Sohail123333
My mums bf is white
This imaginary bf of your imaginary muslim mum must be some really great thing that you cannot stop talking about him
Well, be careful cuz you may be the next one that he bums
I'm currently In a relationship with a Muslim man and truly believe ill never meet anyone els like him. He's very unique and I love him. The only problem is I don't think he's family would ever accept me as I'm white. He says they would but I think he's head is in the clouds lol. It's going to come a day when we both need to decide what to do. We've been going out about a year. I'm a bit older than the op btw. If he's family told him they would disown him if he continued to see me or Marry me I would have to end it for his sake. As you get older you realise that family is everything and the most important thing in life. I would never want him to be put in that position. The op has been with this man for 2 years and trust me people change. I would say that's still in the honeymoon period. The real challenges for a couple is when they've got pressure in their life and who do you normally turn to, your family. The op can't ask her bf to convert. If someone wants to be religious then they are, that can't be forced. You can't pretend to be Muslim. Everything maybe all good now but when children come along things will be different. Your views on life will change and your bf views might change if you start taking your children to mosque. He may say he's fine with it now but in my experience people don't think ahead and think realistically. The op must know how her family would react? After all they are her parents. Why did she get into a relationship with him if she new from the start she might loose her family!!!. That's what I ask my bf sometimes, why start something if you know that your family would never approve, it's not fair on the other person. I think a special relationship is worth fighting for all the way, and if I had to make compromises such as no drinking etc its no big deal but I would never give up my family, no relationship is worth that. People are right you do only get one life but what's a life without your family on it.
I'm just reading this older post thread now, as I was not a member until a few months ago. I'm not sure how things turned out for you. Your comments, and if I gather correctly you are Asian-yet you seem disregard all Asians and other ethnic and racial groups saying you could only see yourself marrying someone who is White. Nothing wrong with being attracted to whom you are attracted to, but as you noted in your original post, some racist aspects against the person you wanted to marry, are you not very easily practicing some self-loathing and racial bias in terms of exclusivity?
Original post by Anonymous
Oh and the biggest risk is. If didnt work out and say we divorced. I would be left with no one.
And I've never fancied Asians so I cant see myself marrying anyone other than a white guy
And I've never fancied Asians so I cant see myself marrying anyone other than a white guy
Original post by Anonymous
This imaginary bf of your imaginary muslim mum must be some really great thing that you cannot stop talking about him
Well, be careful cuz you may be the next one that he bums
Well, be careful cuz you may be the next one that he bums
Hes not imaginary he really and i hope he bums you idot
Original post by Anonymous
The reason I've put Pakistani Muslims because I believe no one really understands the backward nature of Pakistani culture unless you're in it
Sorry in advance about the bad spelling/grammar, I'm not the best at writing.
So I'm 25 years old, have a reputable well paid job, live on my own and I have a white boyfriend. We've been going out for a couple of years now, and I know we both ( if things continue to go really well) are thinking about marriage now.
The biggest obstacle is my parents who are I own are going to be absolutely devastated- and I really cant stress this enough. To them to marry a BRITISH Pakistani is like - whoa ( if you want a decent a guy you'd marry from back home where you can be truly sure of the persons character). So never mind a white guy.
My boyfriend - now I know you're going to be skeptical the following because you think I'm in love so can't see any bad, believe me I can but this guy, is 1 in a million. A kind, intelligent, 'good hearted' type of guy. I know I'm very lucky to have found someone like him, and the thought of letting him go is unbearable.
I love my family I really do, and my parents are kind people but its been ingrained in them that family honour within the community is extremely
important. And I know they love me as well, but I KNOW they would rather I married no one than a white guy. And that to me is unimaginable because all I've every wanted is a family of my own. I wouldnt be just losing my parents, but my relatives and religious Muslim friends as well
I would like advice from other Asians who have seen or experienced themselves how it all pans out if the couple marry regardless of their parents view. Do the parents eventually come round ?
Sorry this has been a bit of a rant.
Basically I've met an amazing guy whom I want to marry but I don't want to lose family. What do I do....
Sorry in advance about the bad spelling/grammar, I'm not the best at writing.
So I'm 25 years old, have a reputable well paid job, live on my own and I have a white boyfriend. We've been going out for a couple of years now, and I know we both ( if things continue to go really well) are thinking about marriage now.
The biggest obstacle is my parents who are I own are going to be absolutely devastated- and I really cant stress this enough. To them to marry a BRITISH Pakistani is like - whoa ( if you want a decent a guy you'd marry from back home where you can be truly sure of the persons character). So never mind a white guy.
My boyfriend - now I know you're going to be skeptical the following because you think I'm in love so can't see any bad, believe me I can but this guy, is 1 in a million. A kind, intelligent, 'good hearted' type of guy. I know I'm very lucky to have found someone like him, and the thought of letting him go is unbearable.
I love my family I really do, and my parents are kind people but its been ingrained in them that family honour within the community is extremely
important. And I know they love me as well, but I KNOW they would rather I married no one than a white guy. And that to me is unimaginable because all I've every wanted is a family of my own. I wouldnt be just losing my parents, but my relatives and religious Muslim friends as well
I would like advice from other Asians who have seen or experienced themselves how it all pans out if the couple marry regardless of their parents view. Do the parents eventually come round ?
Sorry this has been a bit of a rant.
Basically I've met an amazing guy whom I want to marry but I don't want to lose family. What do I do....
Hi,
First of all i think you should sit down with your parents and talk about it. If they don’t agree with your choice of soon to be husband go and talk to the next meharram or walli in line after your father and talk to them.
One more thing people from back home aren’t actually decent you might get some that are but mostly there are not.
You also talk about family honour if you parents love you then no matter what anyone says will mean nothing at the end of the day who are they judge and Allah SWT is the only one that can. If your parents are the typical Asian parents that are for arrange marriage then you should tell them that it’s cultural and has nothing to do with Islam and say that a person can marry who ever they want as long as they are Muslim.
Is your boyfriend Muslim? if not then that can be complicated as the guy has to be Muslim in order for a Muslim girl to get married to him.
Firstly, sorry for the unhelpful replies
I don’t think you mentioned, is he muslim? If not, is he planning to convert? This is so so important as personally I would imagine your parents would never accept it if he wasn’t
Even if he did convert, I’m sorry to tell you that you are likely to still have to deal with major confrontation. You should tell your mum, I would imagine she would outright say no, but you NEED to be patient. It will take years and years, if ever. Eventually it will come to a point where you will have to tell them that you will marry with or without their blessing, but only at the last straw. Try to maintain a mature approach.
I don’t think you mentioned, is he muslim? If not, is he planning to convert? This is so so important as personally I would imagine your parents would never accept it if he wasn’t
Even if he did convert, I’m sorry to tell you that you are likely to still have to deal with major confrontation. You should tell your mum, I would imagine she would outright say no, but you NEED to be patient. It will take years and years, if ever. Eventually it will come to a point where you will have to tell them that you will marry with or without their blessing, but only at the last straw. Try to maintain a mature approach.
I'm afraid I don't really have any advice to give you because I'm only 18 and haven't been in a relationship but what you said about Pakistani's being backwards is so fu**ing true I couldn't agree more. They are so stubborn and stuck in their ways.
I think that as long as he is Muslim it doesn't matter, so what if he's white that's just skin colour, Pakistani communities seriously need to understand that religion is not culture and culture isn't a religion.It would be ok if a man married a white woman, they'd get over it soon enough, so why aren't women allowed to marry a white guy. Isn't it Pakistanis who are always saying that if you're of a lighter skin tone you are prettier? in Islam is allowed to marry whomever you wish to do so as long as its a Muslim, so I would stay with him and marry him. I would try to make my parents understand this and if they don't then just move on.
Original post by Anonymous
The reason I've put Pakistani Muslims because I believe no one really understands the backward nature of Pakistani culture unless you're in it
Sorry in advance about the bad spelling/grammar, I'm not the best at writing.
So I'm 25 years old, have a reputable well paid job, live on my own and I have a white boyfriend. We've been going out for a couple of years now, and I know we both ( if things continue to go really well) are thinking about marriage now.
The biggest obstacle is my parents who are I own are going to be absolutely devastated- and I really cant stress this enough. To them to marry a BRITISH Pakistani is like - whoa ( if you want a decent a guy you'd marry from back home where you can be truly sure of the persons character). So never mind a white guy.
My boyfriend - now I know you're going to be skeptical the following because you think I'm in love so can't see any bad, believe me I can but this guy, is 1 in a million. A kind, intelligent, 'good hearted' type of guy. I know I'm very lucky to have found someone like him, and the thought of letting him go is unbearable.
I love my family I really do, and my parents are kind people but its been ingrained in them that family honour within the community is extremely
important. And I know they love me as well, but I KNOW they would rather I married no one than a white guy. And that to me is unimaginable because all I've every wanted is a family of my own. I wouldnt be just losing my parents, but my relatives and religious Muslim friends as well
I would like advice from other Asians who have seen or experienced themselves how it all pans out if the couple marry regardless of their parents view. Do the parents eventually come round ?
Sorry this has been a bit of a rant.
Basically I've met an amazing guy whom I want to marry but I don't want to lose family. What do I do....
Sorry in advance about the bad spelling/grammar, I'm not the best at writing.
So I'm 25 years old, have a reputable well paid job, live on my own and I have a white boyfriend. We've been going out for a couple of years now, and I know we both ( if things continue to go really well) are thinking about marriage now.
The biggest obstacle is my parents who are I own are going to be absolutely devastated- and I really cant stress this enough. To them to marry a BRITISH Pakistani is like - whoa ( if you want a decent a guy you'd marry from back home where you can be truly sure of the persons character). So never mind a white guy.
My boyfriend - now I know you're going to be skeptical the following because you think I'm in love so can't see any bad, believe me I can but this guy, is 1 in a million. A kind, intelligent, 'good hearted' type of guy. I know I'm very lucky to have found someone like him, and the thought of letting him go is unbearable.
I love my family I really do, and my parents are kind people but its been ingrained in them that family honour within the community is extremely
important. And I know they love me as well, but I KNOW they would rather I married no one than a white guy. And that to me is unimaginable because all I've every wanted is a family of my own. I wouldnt be just losing my parents, but my relatives and religious Muslim friends as well
I would like advice from other Asians who have seen or experienced themselves how it all pans out if the couple marry regardless of their parents view. Do the parents eventually come round ?
Sorry this has been a bit of a rant.
Basically I've met an amazing guy whom I want to marry but I don't want to lose family. What do I do....
Do your parents know?
Original post by Hot guy
Don’t ****ing marry a white man you daft *****, you been commiting zina before marriage what you expect dirty *****
stay anonymous or your ****ed
Original post by Anonymous
The reason I've put Pakistani Muslims because I believe no one really understands the backward nature of Pakistani culture unless you're in it
Sorry in advance about the bad spelling/grammar, I'm not the best at writing.
So I'm 25 years old, have a reputable well paid job, live on my own and I have a white boyfriend. We've been going out for a couple of years now, and I know we both ( if things continue to go really well) are thinking about marriage now.
The biggest obstacle is my parents who are I own are going to be absolutely devastated- and I really cant stress this enough. To them to marry a BRITISH Pakistani is like - whoa ( if you want a decent a guy you'd marry from back home where you can be truly sure of the persons character). So never mind a white guy.
My boyfriend - now I know you're going to be skeptical the following because you think I'm in love so can't see any bad, believe me I can but this guy, is 1 in a million. A kind, intelligent, 'good hearted' type of guy. I know I'm very lucky to have found someone like him, and the thought of letting him go is unbearable.
I love my family I really do, and my parents are kind people but its been ingrained in them that family honour within the community is extremely
important. And I know they love me as well, but I KNOW they would rather I married no one than a white guy. And that to me is unimaginable because all I've every wanted is a family of my own. I wouldnt be just losing my parents, but my relatives and religious Muslim friends as well
I would like advice from other Asians who have seen or experienced themselves how it all pans out if the couple marry regardless of their parents view. Do the parents eventually come round ?
Sorry this has been a bit of a rant.
Basically I've met an amazing guy whom I want to marry but I don't want to lose family. What do I do....
Sorry in advance about the bad spelling/grammar, I'm not the best at writing.
So I'm 25 years old, have a reputable well paid job, live on my own and I have a white boyfriend. We've been going out for a couple of years now, and I know we both ( if things continue to go really well) are thinking about marriage now.
The biggest obstacle is my parents who are I own are going to be absolutely devastated- and I really cant stress this enough. To them to marry a BRITISH Pakistani is like - whoa ( if you want a decent a guy you'd marry from back home where you can be truly sure of the persons character). So never mind a white guy.
My boyfriend - now I know you're going to be skeptical the following because you think I'm in love so can't see any bad, believe me I can but this guy, is 1 in a million. A kind, intelligent, 'good hearted' type of guy. I know I'm very lucky to have found someone like him, and the thought of letting him go is unbearable.
I love my family I really do, and my parents are kind people but its been ingrained in them that family honour within the community is extremely
important. And I know they love me as well, but I KNOW they would rather I married no one than a white guy. And that to me is unimaginable because all I've every wanted is a family of my own. I wouldnt be just losing my parents, but my relatives and religious Muslim friends as well
I would like advice from other Asians who have seen or experienced themselves how it all pans out if the couple marry regardless of their parents view. Do the parents eventually come round ?
Sorry this has been a bit of a rant.
Basically I've met an amazing guy whom I want to marry but I don't want to lose family. What do I do....
hey let me tell u something. I am only 17 at the moment and hoping to study Midwifery at uni next September. I am currently studying for my A-levels. Here's the thing: I want to amrry a non-Pakistani when im older and have asked my mum repeatedly if it would be ok if I want to marry a non-Pakistani. she was a bit doubtful but I however tried to give a reasoned argument. My mum said as long as the guy is a pious muslim and is a good person! If your boyfriend is a good person then why not? Is he muslim btw?
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