Depression Society MkII Watch

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jonathan122
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#2601
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#2601
(Original post by gooner1991)
I've had a horrific day. I burst into tears in History in front of everyone for no reason.
I cried for almost two hours straight.I don't know what's wrong with me.
:console:

Are you feeling any better now?
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becki08
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#2602
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#2602
:hugs: for everyone. Laus and goonergirl (and anyone else) I'm here if you want to talk.

I tried phoning my nurse today but she didn't pick up so I left her a message to phone me back. She didn't. I won't be able to phone her tomorrow either because I'm busy. I know/think/hope that everything is ok but I'm just scared. I do have a reason for thinking it's back this time rather than just panicking it is though. If my nurse doesn't call me back I'll have to wait until my appointment in December to ask about it but if it is back then by that time it could've made things a lot worse. I can't go through all of that again. Seriously, if it does come back I'm not going to go through with treatment and I'm sure as hell not going to let it kill me so it means I'll have to kill myself instead. And I will succeed this time. But hopefully it won't come to that. Hopefully it's just me reading things the wrong way and everything is fine.

I'm scared.
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jonathan122
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#2603
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#2603
(Original post by becki08)
:hugs: for everyone. Laus and goonergirl (and anyone else) I'm here if you want to talk.

I tried phoning my nurse today but she didn't pick up so I left her a message to phone me back. She didn't. I won't be able to phone her tomorrow either because I'm busy. I know/think/hope that everything is ok but I'm just scared. I do have a reason for thinking it's back this time rather than just panicking it is though. If my nurse doesn't call me back I'll have to wait until my appointment in December to ask about it but if it is back then by that time it could've made things a lot worse. I can't go through all of that again. Seriously, if it does come back I'm not going to go through with treatment and I'm sure as hell not going to let it kill me so it means I'll have to kill myself instead. And I will succeed this time. But hopefully it won't come to that. Hopefully it's just me reading things the wrong way and everything is fine.

I'm scared.
:hugs:

Hi becki. Why would this be your last chance before December? (Feel free to chat on msn if you want to. :hugs:)
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becki08
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#2604
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#2604
(Original post by jonathan122)
:hugs:

Hi becki. Why would this be your last chance before December? (Feel free to chat on msn if you want to. :hugs:)

I could phone her again, would have to be Monday at the earliest now (a nice weekend for worrying!) but I don't want to bother her. I normally only ever try things once and then hide away if I don't succeed.
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jonathan122
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#2605
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#2605
(Original post by becki08)
I could phone her again, would have to be Monday at the earliest now (a nice weekend for worrying!) but I don't want to bother her. I normally only ever try things once and then hide away if I don't succeed.
You're not bothering her, it's her job! Could you phone an out-of-hours nurse either tonight or sometime tomorrow when you're not busy?
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becki08
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#2606
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#2606
(Original post by jonathan122)
You're not bothering her, it's her job! Could you phone an out-of-hours nurse either tonight or sometime tomorrow when you're not busy?
If I get time tomorrow I might try phoning her again. There's no out-of-hours nurse I could phone and I only really trust people at the hospital I go to because my doctors and hospital here aren't very good in regards to this. (don't get me started on the stupid doctor grrrr I'm still mad about that!!!). I can't really phone any of the other nurses at the hospital because they're on the ward and they're there for people who are on treatment and need to know something urgently.
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gooner1991
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#2607
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#2607
(Original post by jonathan122)
:console:

Are you feeling any better now?
Kind of. My teachers let me go home early so I've had a nap and I feel a bit better. I hope they don't think I'm a complete wierdo when I go back on Monday
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jonathan122
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#2608
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#2608
(Original post by gooner1991)
Kind of. My teachers let me go home early so I've had a nap and I feel a bit better. I hope they don't think I'm a complete wierdo when I go back on Monday
I'm sure they'll have seen far worse. Besides, it's not their place to judge. :hugs:
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becki08
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#2609
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#2609
(Original post by gooner1991)
Kind of. My teachers let me go home early so I've had a nap and I feel a bit better. I hope they don't think I'm a complete wierdo when I go back on Monday
They won't think you're a weirdo at all sweetheart. As jonathon says, they'll have definitely seen worse. I got sent home from work once for breaking down in front of customers (I couldn't stop crying) so I know how horrible it feels but you'll probably find that when you go back to school no one will mention it or they might just quickly ask whether you're ok now. They won't judge you though sweetie :hugs:
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Sabertooth
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#2610
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#2610
(Original post by fairy spangles)
Can i ask so im not knowing im going mad. Has anyone had really bad hallucinations?
Like it was okay at first but now its really getting to me.
Things are getting more erm strange i guess.
You're not mad, a lot of people experience hallucinations and like becki said there's meds you can try to see if they help. You should tell your doctor if you think they're getting worse.



Becki, I'm so sorry to hear you're worried about your illness returning, if you ever want to chat on msn or via pm I'm here. I hope you can get in contact with your nurse soon :hugs:
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becki08
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#2611
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#2611
Thanks saber and everyone else who's offered their support. :hugs:
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jonathan122
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#2612
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#2612
hi saber, how are you? :hugs:
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Sabertooth
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#2613
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#2613
(Original post by jonathan122)
hi saber, how are you? :hugs:
Hey Jonathan. I'm ok thanks Saw my psych today and she said I can still see her at uni which is great, really feeling better about going now.

How're you today? :hugs:
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jonathan122
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#2614
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#2614
I'm pretty good thanks.

That's great news about the psych. It takes so much pressure off when you know you don't have to keep explaining everything to someone new all the time. Very happy for you. :hugs:
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Sabertooth
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#2615
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#2615
(Original post by jonathan122)
I'm pretty good thanks.

That's great news about the psych. It takes so much pressure off when you know you don't have to keep explaining everything to someone new all the time. Very happy for you. :hugs:
Thanks Glad to hear you're ok too. Looking forward to going back to uni?
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becki08
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#2616
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#2616
I'm really glad you can still see your psych saber It's great when you can have some continuity.
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Sabertooth
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#2617
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#2617
(Original post by becki08)
I'm really glad you can still see your psych saber It's great when you can have some continuity.
Yeah it's only a 10 minute train ride so it's really good. You feeling ok? :hugs:
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becki08
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#2618
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#2618
(Original post by Sabertooth)
Yeah I have to keep the same gp but it's only a 10 minute train ride so it's really good. You feeling ok? :hugs:
That's really good :hugs:

I'm not sure how I am. I'm ok but keep having waves of feeling really upset, scared or paranoid. But I'm much better than other nights recently so it's ok. I've had a quite good day (for me!) today even though I've been really worried. I'm just trying not to think about stuff.
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Sabertooth
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#2619
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#2619
(Original post by becki08)
That's really good :hugs:

I'm not sure how I am. I'm ok but keep having waves of feeling really upset, scared or paranoid. But I'm much better than other nights recently so it's ok. I've had a quite good day (for me!) today even though I've been really worried. I'm just trying not to think about stuff.
I'm glad to hear you had a quite a good day, maybe you could try something to distract you like watching a favourite movie or playing a game? :hugs:
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raspberrybubbles
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#2620
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#2620
I think I just saw my old therapist :cry: I'm hoping it wasn't her cos she totally blanked me, but she looked so, so like her.

In other news: I'm now supportless. Everything's finished. I don't like it...
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