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    (Original post by Kindred)
    :hugs: Is it possible for you to move the appointment to be a bit later? Good luck in your exam!
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    Appointment now for 5 September :eek:

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    (Original post by avhhs)
    Appointment now for 5 September :eek:

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    That late? :mute: Are they really tightly booked or what? I would've thought it would be earlier than that. Well at least it's not the same time as your exam anymore. :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by Kindred)
    That late? :mute: Are they really tightly booked or what? I would've thought it would be earlier than that. Well at least it's not the same time as your exam anymore. :rolleyes:
    Kinda my fault I think as I wasn't paying attention when they sent the letter and I'd completely forgotten about it until yesterday when they sent a text, and I stupidly confirmed it without properly checking the date and time. My dad told me about it and I was like "oh crap"

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    (Original post by Kindred)
    :hugs: Is it possible for you to move the appointment to be a bit later? Good luck in your exam!



    It's a shame that you were set off but on the bright side you managed really well with it. Your friend sounds lovely and very supportive too. I'm glad that you still managed to watch the fireworks and have a good time despite everything else, that's a real achievement!



    You have loads of time, just take it bit by bit. It's no bigger than anything you'll have had to deal with at college as long as you keep calm about it. Hope there's some nice stuff on there



    :hugs: You'll be fine, it's almost over. Just take it easy and do what you can. Focus on whatever's next and just that. Be sure to give yourself a good rest and get some fresh air. Maybe go for a walk to clear your head while the weather's nice.



    I hope it gets better once the essay is done. Don't overload yourself. Take a while to relax and clear your head. Try going outside and getting some fresh air for a bit. :hugs:

    ________________________________ __________________________
    Things are sorting themselves out a little. Still exhausted and freaking out but over less and it's a bit easier to push through. I don't think i'll ever really be free of that burden, i'm just gunna have to learn to accept it. Feeling a bit better about myself, hopefully if i'm confident and able to overlook certain things others won't notice them either. :unsure:

    Hope everyone's doing okay :grouphugs:
    I don't think I can, exams are making me anxious about everything including going out, and I'm considering not turning up to the next one cause the last one I did in that subject was such a fail. Had two panic attacks over this today and I haven't had them in absolutely ages. It's just rubbish


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    I have an anxiety issue when im nervous I have an urge to urinate but have never done it. Its a strong urge and affects me everyday making me depressed. For example in an exam I have this urge and even in lessons ! I was wondering if anyone has this anxiety and I need a solution as im starting uni and work soon
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    (Original post by 08batee)
    I don't think I can, exams are making me anxious about everything including going out, and I'm considering not turning up to the next one cause the last one I did in that subject was such a fail. Had two panic attacks over this today and I haven't had them in absolutely ages. It's just rubbish


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    Just open your window as far as you can and take some deep breaths then. It may be an idea to talk to your exams office and discuss it with them. They may be able to put you in a seperate room or give you rest breaks. Do however well you can, even one mark is better than not showing up. :hugs:
    If you're freaking out too much before the exam and absolutely can't do it then phone your exams office asap and also look into mitigating circumstances (it's a long shot but worth a go)
    Hope you feel much better after all this exam stuff blows over :hugs:

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    (Original post by HmMusic)
    Well yesterday was ****. Today is going to also be ****. I'm not at all looking forward to having to go for a blood test. I have no money so I can't even get the bus which means walking to the hospital, and that's really not a good idea being 8 months pregnant. Argued with my boyfriend yesterday because my hormones are driving me insane, and I said some really horrible things about the baby. Scary thing is I don't even know if they are true or not. I can't see myself having the life I wanted now, or the career I had hoped for. I am so scared of everything. 6 weeks to go now. It's such a mess. I'm such a mess.
    You're bound to feel all over the place with six weeks to go, rampant hormones, money worries and all. Negative thoughts about it all are natural as is feeling scared.

    There's no point in denying that life will be different with a baby than the life you planned but some of that is that life may be even better than you first planned. I travelled with my kids, studied, published books and created a different but even better career than the one I had planned initially.

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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Psychosis is back. FML :emo:

    :grouphugs: to everyone who needs them
    Oh, so sorry to hear this. Big hug to you. :grouphugs: from everyone I'm sure. Hang on in there.
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    Feeling a bit better than yesterday I guess. Less obviously distressed anyway.

    Am so confused as to why I'm even here. It doesn't make any sense.
    Staying alive is so hard. My doctor said I should make a plan for everyday the night before, just to do one thing in the morning/afternoon/evening. So I've been half-heartedly trying to do so, but is so exhausting. I actually find it easier to be doing stuff than to be passively staring at something (watching stuff actually really hurts my head atm - is like total overload on my senses, plus concentration is so bad it just makes me wanna curl up and cry) so have been trying to do some knitting and other similar things. Is often nearly okay for short stretches of time, but finding the motivation to actually start is near impossible. Don't get any actual enjoyment out of anything, at best it passes a bit of time for me, so feels pointless.
    Have completely given up on doing stuff to make me better. Am just waiting for the inevitable. I can't quite remember when the voice inside my head changed from "I just want to be ok again" to "I just want to die," but now it feels ridiculous to have ever wanted anything else. Obviously I can't be okay again and I have actually always known that. Now there is just no false hope in the way.

    Do feel a bit disgusted at myself for being so weak and passive about everything. I think people might be disappointed for me not trying hard enough. But really I trying very hard, I'm just not good enough.
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    (Original post by Sultana)
    Feeling a bit better than yesterday I guess. Less obviously distressed anyway.

    Am so confused as to why I'm even here. It doesn't make any sense.
    Staying alive is so hard. My doctor said I should make a plan for everyday the night before, just to do one thing in the morning/afternoon/evening. So I've been half-heartedly trying to do so, but is so exhausting. I actually find it easier to be doing stuff than to be passively staring at something (watching stuff actually really hurts my head atm - is like total overload on my senses, plus concentration is so bad it just makes me wanna curl up and cry) so have been trying to do some knitting and other similar things. Is often nearly okay for short stretches of time, but finding the motivation to actually start is near impossible. Don't get any actual enjoyment out of anything, at best it passes a bit of time for me, so feels pointless.
    Have completely given up on doing stuff to make me better. Am just waiting for the inevitable. I can't quite remember when the voice inside my head changed from "I just want to be ok again" to "I just want to die," but now it feels ridiculous to have ever wanted anything else. Obviously I can't be okay again and I have actually always known that. Now there is just no false hope in the way.

    Do feel a bit disgusted at myself for being so weak and passive about everything. I think people might be disappointed for me not trying hard enough. But really I trying very hard, I'm just not good enough.
    Sounds as if your depression has deepened and is now really bad. The thoughts you describe are very negative and the lack of energy/concentration and motivation indicates extreme depression.

    It is not possible to motivate yourself if you are in such a deep depression whatever the doctor says. You are ill, not weak willed. Imagine you had a broken leg. No one would expect you to try to walk on it a little each day and that would fix it. No one would say 'willpower' will mend the bone. If you had diabetes no one would suggest that willpower would make it go away. If you had flu no one would say it was your fault and you caused it.

    Its just the same with depression. It is a real illness. It is based on real things such as natural chemicals malfunctioning in your body/brain. Although it affects mood and thoughts it is not caused by mood. The illness causes the negative thoughts not you.

    Of course there are lots of tips to help on the way to recovery; such as concentrating on one thing a day/small steps as your doctor has suggested or learning to spot triggers or thoughts that hurt you etc. However these tips are not appropriate for someone whose clinical depression has not yet been treated to a certain level. Until you are at a certain stage and have at least a small amount of energy and motivation to begin to work with it is not really the thing.

    Does your doctor realise how depressed you are? Obviously not I would suggest. If you are on medication it is not working as it should. The first stage of any treatment for deep depression is to use medication to raise someone from a deep level so that they can begin to use certain techniques on the road to recovery. It sounds as if you are not being helped enough by your medication. It may be too low a dose. It may be the wrong anti-depressant for you.( In some people, especially younger people, some anti-depressants have the opposite effect as to that intended and cause negative thoughts to deepen. If you have got worse not better on the medication you take then you need to mention it.) Whatever the case I think you need an urgent medication review now.

    I don't know what level of support you have in place (ie a CPN or care co-ordinator) but again, feeling like you do, the more support the better and especially as they have not sorted out the right level for you yet.

    Hang on in there. I know how real it feels and that is because you are ill right now. This can be treated though. Try to tell the person supporting you that the depression is so deep and getting worse and you need more help... not cheery talks either, real help with specialist medication/referals if necessary. Ask for the doctor to either refer you to a specialist or get a grip on the medication themselves. Your treatment is just not good enough right now.

    HUG,

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have an anxiety issue when im nervous I have an urge to urinate but have never done it. Its a strong urge and affects me everyday making me depressed. For example in an exam I have this urge and even in lessons ! I was wondering if anyone has this anxiety and I need a solution as im starting uni and work soon
    Not sure I have any answers for this one. I think its probably part of the 'fight or flight mechanism'. When we feel under threat our bodies can respond in various ways. Some people freeze, disconnect etc. Some become very angry and aggressive. Others prepare for 'flight'. This can mean excavating the body in order to lighten it and improve the chances of escape... ie. being sick, urinating etc. It is a recognised response to fear and threat.

    It sounds as if under stress you start to experience these sensations. Luckily your body holds off from actually completing the action (so that's one blessing), however the signals of needing to urinate sound as if they are very distracting for you.

    As I say I'm not aware of what treatments are best, I suppose any treatment which lowers the level of anxiety in the first place would be good, as would any therapy that could teach you to ignore the sensations when they occur.

    Perhaps you could ask your doctor what is available for anxiety treatment? You could also then get him to check in case there is any biological cause going on. Some people do have conditions that cause them to feel these sensations more than others from having smaller bladders to having an undiagnosed infection, and this can fairly easily be treated in that case.

    Good luck.
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    running totally on empty right now
    had a good but such a long day, been happy and laughing all day, and im done in. even my feet hurt

    meant to be going to my sisters, and i NEVER turn down the oppertunity to spend the day with my sister, especially not now shes pregnant, and i only have a month left to visit her as much as i want. but im to drained to go and see her. i feel so bad, because iv been looking forward to it, but im going for a "girls night in" tomorrow night, which means being happy and smiley and sociable all night, and dont want that all day, it will only cause arguments between me and my sister :sad:
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    Falling apart a bit. Can't deal with feeling so out of control and I don't know what to do. I can't go to my best friend because she's not ok and that's kind of why I'm all upset, and I can't go to my other friend because she's at a ball and I can't go to my other friend because she's already done too much for me recently so I'm just crying and got nowhere to put the emotion. Literally had one coping mechanism once and I quit that so now I've got nothing. If this one bad thing happens nothing will ever be ok again, and I'm so scared it's making me have thoughts about doing [bad thing] just so I don't have to feel the loss of someone I love cos I can't do it. **** this.
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    (Original post by asdfgah)
    Falling apart a bit. Can't deal with feeling so out of control and I don't know what to do. I can't go to my best friend because she's not ok and that's kind of why I'm all upset, and I can't go to my other friend because she's at a ball and I can't go to my other friend because she's already done too much for me recently so I'm just crying and got nowhere to put the emotion. Literally had one coping mechanism once and I quit that so now I've got nothing. If this one bad thing happens nothing will ever be ok again, and I'm so scared it's making me have thoughts about doing [bad thing] just so I don't have to feel the loss of someone I love cos I can't do it. **** this.
    I'm too much of a mess atm to help but let's try and talk tomorrow. Hang on in there, hun :lovehug:
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    (Original post by catoswyn)
    Sounds terrible for you and your family. I was talking to someone last week who had uncontrollable aggression for a long time. Almost wrecked her life. However the good news was that she had managed to find medication that had sorted it out and she was feeling completely different so there is 'help' available. Don't give up on yourself. I suppose some of the medications might not be approved for use under a certain age but hopefully they'll sort something out.

    It does sound like too long between appointments. At the very least they should give you a care co-ordinator that you can contact at any time you need to.

    If you don't like CBT is there something else you'd prefer? You don't have to be passive in this process; you can tell them what you think would work best for you.

    It is irritating to be asked 'why' you do things sometimes. For me its like having flu. Knowing all about viruses doesn't make the flu itself one bit better. Its dealing with the actual symptoms effectively that is the key thing. (Hope that makes sense.)

    Is there any way you could channel all that great imagination/imagery into something like writing or art? There is a link between depression and other conditions and creativity. Spike Milligan wrote a great book about it and being in a dreamlike state can work really well for creative things.

    Anyway, good luck with the appointment coming up.

    My uncontrollable anger isn't just the problem; I'm lost, sad, lonely, depressed etc, etc. I think the anger is a really big product-maybe just a part of me- of the other problems I have. I really can not feel anything and people don't even realise what I'm feeling, or how I am. It's like they just say "Get on with it"; they can say that when I do something stupid, because I feel like I am really close to actually doing something really bad.

    Have you ever felt yourself changing? I feel it right now; it's horrifying but enjoyable at the same time. I used to be really quiet, really shy, and very sheepish. Now I'm turning into something completely different to what I am. I can still feel the real me inside, but that me inside is slowly going. My heart feels like some sort of black hole; everything worthwhile is being drained.

    My family actually do care; the way do it is horrible. Though it seems to me that they don't care, they always say things like "I wish you was never born.", or they seem to always kick me out of the house (every 1-2 months), or they just push me to the side and never seem to care about me. I've always been considered different to them; I remember when I was younger I always used to be alone, I am always alone now.

    That's really great news for your friend; she'll definitely get better!

    I would like to try medication. Could I ask my counsellor that at my CAMHS appointment? I just want to get better and change for the good, because this problem has really ruined my life.

    Yeah, in my opinion CBT would have to be out of the question; I'm unable to work by talking.

    That's actually spot on! The other thing that really gets me is that how people treat mental illness. I mean these problems alter how a person is and it can change their lives. People always think you can just get over it, as if they think it doesn't exist because they can't see it. The other one is when people think you're a killing machine, I've had so many people calling me names over my problem.

    I do try to write, but I doubt myself and that is such a big problem for me. I doubt myself when I write, when I sleep, shower, eat or even walk. I always have a voice saying you can't walk properly; I always walk with my head down to watch my feet because of this.


    Sorry for sounding like an emotional wreck!

    Thank you so much; I really do appreciate it.

    How are you?
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    I'm too much of a mess atm to help but let's try and talk tomorrow. Hang on in there, hun :lovehug:
    yeah ok tralk tomorrow if we're around i'm proabnly not very talkable at the momenta tnyway. hope youire doing better tomorrow hun :hgus:

    I don't wknow whjat to do my friend always kept saying come to hners if I nmed a hug but I cant i'm all broken and I cant make her do it again cant cant cant. should beable to just deal with this btu it feels like maybe turning into flashback cos my vision is weird and when I can see the screen there ius lots of red lines so obviously even autocorrect istn good enough I don't want flahsbkack on my own but no =alternative realy
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    (Original post by Kindred)
    I hope it gets better once the essay is done. Don't overload yourself. Take a while to relax and clear your head. Try going outside and getting some fresh air for a bit. :hugs:
    Thanks

    Taking it easy at the moment. Doesn't seem to be a real reason for my current drop in mood I guess as its the end of the year I've been reflecting on the past year and I'm also apprehensive about going back to uni in September. Essay doesn't help. Still, the usual coping mechanisms seem to be keeping off the worst of it
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    (Original post by LesPaul_Player91)
    Thanks

    Taking it easy at the moment. Doesn't seem to be a real reason for my current drop in mood I guess as its the end of the year I've been reflecting on the past year and I'm also apprehensive about going back to uni in September. Essay doesn't help. Still, the usual coping mechanisms seem to be keeping off the worst of it
    I'm really glad it's helping! Don't worry about sep for now- that's a whole different matter and you have LOADS of time to work all of that out. All you need to do for now is take care of yourself and get through the exam and you CAN definately do that!

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    (Original post by avhhs)
    Kinda my fault I think as I wasn't paying attention when they sent the letter and I'd completely forgotten about it until yesterday when they sent a text, and I stupidly confirmed it without properly checking the date and time. My dad told me about it and I was like "oh crap"

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    Oh. We all get like that sometimes. You can probably still explain it and get it changed though.


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