The fibs your teacher told you in school [golden thread]

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    My English teacher lied that she was married, mainly because she attracted a lot of male attention from both students and fellow teachers, I can understood lying about a boyfriend, but who the hell lies about being married? Needless to say when the Governors found out she "resigned."
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    (Original post by ConicalFlask)
    Our chemistry teacher promised she'd make us curry if the whole class passed the GCSE. Pretty sure everyone passed, but we never got the curry
    Why curry? I can understand coffee or cupcakes or even melon. But not curry
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    That Pluto is (was) a planet.
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    (Original post by Hype en Ecosse)
    Electrons are positioned in an orbit around the atom, like planets in the solar system, but with a maximum per "shell".

    But actually, there's shells and subshells and they take all different shapes, and that's why you get the maxima that you do!

    And then you find out that there are no shells and subshells, and it's actually a big cloud of probability for where an electron is likely to appear in the atom...
    This isn't true though?Shells and subshells do exist and their existence comes from quantum numbers which are very important in determining the wavefunction for the "cloud".The whole idea of quantum numbers proves our teachers were right when they talked about shells but they didn't give us much detail about them.
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    (Original post by greghayes)
    Oh man I have loads!

    - that our primary school teacher invented the song "hey diddle diddle, median in the middle etc..."
    - if you were being picked on, telling a teacher would solve the problem (they literally just went "yeah I doubt Beth would do that")
    - year 6 SATs were important for high school
    - the ICT GCSE was nationally compulsary
    - your GCSE choices are just as important as your A Level choices for which unis and courses you can apply for (all mine say just B in English and Maths is enough for GCSE)
    - having your hair dyed a slightly off-natural colour is "too distracting for class" (my college embraces unnatural hair colours with a "rainbow hair" day at the start of the year)
    - "don't worry about those people who don't revise, they won't get the good grades" (we all know some people like this who annoy the rest of us)
    - GCSE French will give you a very good understanding of basic communication skills for speaking to locals (hahahahahahaha... yeah no)
    - "you should know what uni course you want to do by now, so you know what A Level subjects you need, so you know what GCSE subjects to choose to get you there" (in year 8...)
    - "you have to tie your hair back in practicals, a few years ago there was a girl whose hair got dipped in acid then she caught it in a bunsen burner and her head caught fire" (really now? really?)
    They determined what set I was in and my GCSE target grades so I'd say very important.Many clever people found themselves stuck in the English 2nd set after not doing well in their SATs, for some reason very little change took place although one person did manage to move up in Y10.
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    In year 9 we sat a GCSE Biology paper we were told was a mock, yet the result came up on my results sheet on results day in year 11!
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    (Original post by Dom2375)
    That bullying is dealt with
    I have got to agree with this my school said that there was just one bullying incident last year, during the first day of the school.The truth of this it seems is because the school completely ignores bullying and the reason why I think is because it affects reputation.

    I saw regular bullying incidents that occurred right in front of teachers eyes(in fact everyone was bullied to some extent I got bullied quite a bit people stealing stuff like my stationary and school book) and the teacher would just be like "stop" or something like that.I knew someone who complained that his sister was getting bullied(quite serious money getting stolen) and they never did anything thing so he beat up the person and got into serious trouble.
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    You're destined for failure without a revision table
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    (Original post by Ice Dragon)
    There was always that story about that kid who swung back too far on his chair and died or cracked his head open lol

    One teacher tried to tell us that she was allowed to keep us after school without parents permission if we misbehaved and tried to enforce it too. Unsurprisingly, she got fired.
    At my Secondary school they kept you back for compulsory revision lessons at times, they did sometimes have teachers in the yard directing students to ensure the students attended them.Was this not normal at most schools?
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    (Original post by B_9710)
    They'll cover it up by saying they meant 90% UMS.
    They don't though like at my college your work was always marked as 80%-A etc and it went through an online system like that.My A Level Geography teacher was always insistent on this rule even though he marked exams.I do think the teachers are aware of this and want to make us work harder.
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    I have reminded myself that one of the big lies is how much homework you get like primary schools will tell you how you will get 1 hour a day at secondary school and then college will tell you how you will get three hours a week per subject but none of this is true.My primary school also made us do this piece of work they said you had to do for secondary school and when I went to secondary they didn't know anything about it.
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    that your GCSE's are worth a damn
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    Everything my Physics teacher told me, he was only there for a year contract and within two weeks of him starting they had got someone permanent so from September to July he taught us absolute bs and put on films, needless to say YouTube helped me pass Physics.
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    Science teacher told us not to drink the pure alcohols (ethanol and such) during the coloured flames test, because even a finger dips worth would turn you blind. Cue 3 boys and myself in the back corner of the class egging each other to dip and lick our fingers multiple times. 2 ended up puking, myself and another lad ended up tipsy... no one went blind.*attention* I am not advising people to drink anything from a science lab! I was just a rebellious idiot.
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    (Original post by Dalek1099)
    They determined what set I was in and my GCSE target grades so I'd say very important.Many clever people found themselves stuck in the English 2nd set after not doing well in their SATs, for some reason very little change took place although one person did manage to move up in Y10.
    What year are you in now? My year was the complicated year when a lot of school rebelled against SATs so my school did them but they were internally marked. The rest of my friends (from 4 different schools) didn't even do them, so we were just placed in sets based on our CAT scores in year 7. GCSE target grades were made in year 9 when they actually knew our abilities. And for us, moving sets was a frequent deal because they were constantly trying to fit people where they were best suited. I know of someone who moved from set 3 to set 1 in maths in year 9 because he made a drastic improvement since starting school. It just depends on each school I guess, but definitely for me, SATs literally didn't matter since the vast majority of my year didn't take them.
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    (Original post by Dalek1099)
    They determined what set I was in and my GCSE target grades so I'd say very important.Many clever people found themselves stuck in the English 2nd set after not doing well in their SATs, for some reason very little change took place although one person did manage to move up in Y10.
    What year are you in now? My year was the complicated year when a lot of school rebelled against SATs so my school did them but they were internally marked. The rest of my friends (from 4 different schools) didn't even do them, so we were just placed in sets based on our CAT scores in year 7. GCSE target grades were made in year 9 when they actually knew our abilities. And for us, moving sets was a frequent deal because they were constantly trying to fit people where they were best suited. I know of someone who moved from set 3 to set 1 in maths in year 9 because he made a drastic improvement since starting school. It just depends on each school I guess, but definitely for me, SATs literally didn't matter since the vast majority of my year didn't take them.
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    Refusing to predict me a higher grade because they didn't think I'd achieve it
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    If you swing on your chair you will fall "back and crack your head open" 😒
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    (Original post by Squishy Pixelz)
    Why curry? I can understand coffee or cupcakes or even melon. But not curry
    She was Indian
    she told us stories about her homemade curry all year and we begged to try it.
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    I think I commented but not sure if it posted but oh well:

    Teacher: It's only a short essay, it'll take 2-3 hours.
    *11 hours later*
    Student: WHY ARE YOU LYING TO ME?!??!?!?!?

    This fib is always told, no mater the school or age! Tell me the real length so I can actually plan my time and not leave it for the last minute because of your so called: 2-3 hour essay!
 
 
 
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