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    (Original post by Zoecb)
    The right person isn't necessarily someone you love.
    Not necessarily, of course. But for a few people the right person would only mean someone they love.
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    Well, good for them...

    But if they keep fixating on the people they're dating's desire for sex they'll never get a chance to fall in love, whatever they're classifying that as.
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    ^not necessarily true. Some guys might be willing to wait. Sure very few would, but I don't think it's impossible.
    It is possible to be in love before having sex. Most people do not think that way, but to each his/her own.
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    Yes, a reasonable amount a time.
    But they don't know when the other person will 'be ready' - so they obviously will occasionally bring it up, quite innocently, just keeping an eye on the situation.
    If the virgin interprets this as pestering or some such, it will put them off and they will never think they've 'fallen in love', will they? So clearly everyone is wasting their time.
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    Hi, I just wanted to say my own views. I think the OP did the right thing because she obviously didn't feel comfortable about having sex yet and her boyfriend, though he may be sexually frustrated, should have respected that and not tried to pressure her.

    I just also wanted to say that there are plenty of adult, loving relationships that have no sex, or any sexual stuff in them for that matter, and this is for religious reasons. I've been going out with my boyf for nearly six months now and we aren't going to have sex unless we marry in a couple of years time. Obviously sometimes we get sexually frustrated, but still we love each other very much and I view myself as being in a relationship with them. There are also other Christian couples I know that also refrain from having sex till they marrry.

    I just wanted to say that sexless loving relationships do in fact exist
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    (Original post by Zoecb)
    Yes, a reasonable amount a time.
    But they don't know when the other person will 'be ready' - so they obviously will occasionally bring it up, quite innocently, just keeping an eye on the situation.
    If the virgin interprets this as pestering or some such, it will put them off and they will never think they've 'fallen in love', will they? So clearly everyone is wasting their time.
    'A reasonable amount of time' isn't going to be the same for everyone.
    Obviously you can't know when the other person is ready, so yes you'll occasionally bring it up. But there's a different between being pushy and bringing it up occasionally.
    If someone brings it up once in a while but doesn't push you for sex, then that is acceptable and then you could fall in love. If you complain about even bringing it up even occasionally, then no.
    I don't know what it was in the OP's case.
    So no, you wouldn't always be wasting your time .
    By the way, I doubt many women would confuse the two just because they are a virgin.
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    (Original post by jmj)
    Hi, I just wanted to say my own views. I think the OP did the right thing because she obviously didn't feel comfortable about having sex yet and her boyfriend, though he may be sexually frustrated, should have respected that and not tried to pressure her.

    I just also wanted to say that there are plenty of adult, loving relationships that have no sex, or any sexual stuff in them for that matter, and this is for religious reasons. I've been going out with my boyf for nearly six months now and we aren't going to have sex unless we marry in a couple of years time. Obviously sometimes we get sexually frustrated, but still we love each other very much and I view myself as being in a relationship with them. There are also other Christian couples I know that also refrain from having sex till they marrry.

    I just wanted to say that sexless loving relationships do in fact exist
    Yes, the OP needs to find someone who's more like her. Will be a bit difficult , but is possible.
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    (Original post by jmj)
    I just wanted to say that sexless loving relationships do in fact exist
    No one said they didn't...
    They're just in the minority
    • #1
    #1

    I'm 19 and a virgin, I feel I need the self confidence first to lose it, also I think I'll go for commitment with a gf or lost it when i have the time.
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    He wants to get back? I'm sort of thinking about it too. but don't know what to do .
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    Ahh I missed this thread!
    Whenever you split up with someone and then consider getting back together, you have to think whether the reason you split up is still there, and if its not or its been fixed, then there's no reason not to get back together
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    (Original post by prettygreeneyes99)
    Ahh I missed this thread!
    Whenever you split up with someone and then consider getting back together, you have to think whether the reason you split up is still there, and if its not or its been fixed, then there's no reason not to get back together
    it still is, isn't it
    from his side or mine? what do you mean
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    (Original post by AKAA12)
    it still is, isn't it
    from his side or mine? what do you mean
    Well there's gonna be a reason you split up, if its still an issue, and hasnt been sorted out then there's no point getting back together, because you'll probably end up splitting up over it again! Doesnt matter who's side its from, its about sorting out the reasons why you split up in the first place and being able to say that that reason is now no longer an issue..
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    Yeah, that's a pretty good explanation. Do you wanna get back with him cause you care about him or because you're lonely and you know that he'll have you?
    You don't have to tell us, as long as you can be honest with yourself.
    And yeah, does he still wanna have sex right now? Are you willing to compromise at all? He probbaly went out, got laid and now he's got it out of his system he's up for being with you again...Yeah, that's just a really bad theory I just came up with
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    (Original post by SmilerNuts)
    Yeah, that's a pretty good explanation. Do you wanna get back with him cause you care about him or because you're lonely and you know that he'll have you?
    You don't have to tell us, as long as you can be honest with yourself.
    And yeah, does he still wanna have sex right now? Are you willing to compromise at all? He probbaly went out, got laid and now he's got it out of his system he's up for being with you again...Yeah, that's just a really bad theory I just came up with
    he didn't talk about that
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    Well you have to sit down with him and ask him that before you go any further
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    ya you're right.
    when he called he didn't talk about that at all
    I'm not lonely, and I do care but not that much, but I'm still thinking about it and I'm not sure why.
    and what do you mean by compromise at all?
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    So what did you talk about when he called?
    Maybe you're thinking about it cause you had some happy memories and you think you could have some more? Or maybe you're living in the past? You did seem to keep saying you didn't really click with him and it was nothing special
    Well throughout the thread people kept saying you should go further than kiss but not have sex if you're not ready for that yet. Sure, you don't wanna give up yuor morals or whatever just for the sake of some guy but if you wanna make it work I dunno if you can carry on the way it was before...
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    (Original post by SmilerNuts)
    So what did you talk about when he called?
    Maybe you're thinking about it cause you had some happy memories and you think you could have some more? Or maybe you're living in the past? You did seem to keep saying you didn't really click with him and it was nothing special
    Well throughout the thread people kept saying you should go further than kiss but not have sex if you're not ready for that yet. Sure, you don't wanna give up yuor morals or whatever just for the sake of some guy but if you wanna make it work I dunno if you can carry on the way it was before...
    he just talked about getting back together and all
    yeah it's true we don't have a lot in common
    so I don't know
    I guess it's not a good idea
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    So he said lets get back together and you said...
    Maybe if you go out again you'll find more in common. Go out and try new things, see if you can find a spark.
    I'm not saying you shouldn't get with him, just that you don't wanna rush into it incase you get hurt
 
 
 
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