Mental Health Support Society XVIII

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Four things that unis think matter more than league tables 08-12-2016
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    Been prescribed amitriptyline, and officially diagnosed with fibromyalgia with chronic fatigue syndrome. They're hoping the amitriptyline helps with the pain and the insomnia. They said if I struggle with drowsiness and can't get up in the morning, try taking it at about tea-time. He also agrees that now isn't the time to be coming off the citalopram, even if I have been on it longer than recommended. I'm pretty happy with how the appointment went! I'll be really gutted to have to leave that doctor when I move out for uni. I have already managed to lose the prescription though, so it's going well so far. I'll have to get a replacement and I can start it in two weeks after I've completed a sleep diary for the neurologist. I'm definitely feeling a lot calmer now, and more positive about things. Hopefully it stays this way!
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    Hello all, how are we? Looking at courses in on UCAS (I apply like, bi-yearly and never go). But THIS time, I'll be 30 next September so not exactly young just hope my health holds up (and it's getting better). So, yeah.*
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    (Original post by ~Tara~)
    Therapy is kicking my butt at the moment and I'm a bit cross with my therapist. He struggles when I dissociate (which is fine, it's hard to focus when I'm in that state) but then he wants to poke on the very thing that makes me the most dissociated. I slur and struggle to speak. I know the point is to eventually poke enough that the dissociation lessens but I hate making him angry/frustrated. I also hate how much this is bringing out child parts. I don't name my parts. Sometimes think would be easier so we all know when someone new is in charge.

    Anyway. I'm overwhelmed and worried that I won't be able to do uni because, you know, a 6 year old can't do uni. Well unless a genius.
    Huge hugs and much empathy! I haven't dissociated or anything yet in therapy but I majorly flipped out after my therapy session on Monday, and it's left me feeling very violated, vulnerable and angry (amongst other things) :cry:

    I have named my parts and have done from the start. I guess it can be easier if you name them but you shouldn't feel you have to :hugs:
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    Sorry you had a bad experience after therapy *hugs*

    I have secretly named one part of me, Beth. She's a little. It's a name she really liked and she looks like one of my favourite dolls. She's an innocent and she's a protector. Which has mixed results. One day she thought an OD would help because a memory of an attempt came into my brain and she saw how relieved and peaceful I had felt. Hazard of trying to get parts talking to each other I guess.

    Anyway we got through that. She and a teen part protect the rest of us. If sweet, please love me, Beth doesn't work then defensive, I'll argue with you until the cows come home, teen version steps up. It's only really protector parts that have surfaced so far. I find it scary and dangerous to let the really depressed teen part out for long or the part which wants to hurt me..all of the versions of me. So I often don't give them any space.

    I was going good but now I'm really low and feel like I don't have control over who is in charge. I don't feel like me. I've been debating asking for inpatient to keep me safe but I'm worried about consequences for job and uni and partner
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    What a flat day.
    Flat.
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    lol **** the anon for once.

    ppl say to talk to people. well great what splendid advice.
    but that is rather hard when only 20% of people actually want to listen, only 15% of those people actually care, and only 1% of those people actually hear what ur saying.People hear what they want to hear, or try to avoid certain stuff bc they can't possibly comprehend that cute lil safe Cavy is not as together it may appear.
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    (Original post by CoolCavy)
    lol **** the anon for once.

    ppl say to talk to people. well great what splendid advice.
    but that is rather hard when only 20% of people actually want to listen, only 15% of those people actually care, and only 1% of those people actually hear what ur saying.People hear what they want to hear, or try to avoid certain stuff bc they can't possibly comprehend that cute lil safe Cavy is not as together it may appear.
    :hugs: Was about to panic when I saw anon was off. :eek:
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    (Original post by Airmed)
    :hugs: Was about to panic when I saw anon was off. :eek:
    :loveduck:
    awww, ur so cute (sorry not sorry )
    I will end up back on it (lol sound like a drug addict) cos i dont intend for this to be permanent bc i like the 'privacy' of anon but if ppl on here could just idk i just think everyone thinks everything is fine and it isnt and i dont want ppl acting weird or nothing but everyone just sort of dumps things on me really which 99.9% of the time im glad i can help and support them with but like 0.1% of the time i just want to be left alone really.
    idk
    it is just difficult inrl bc everytime i go to say something that isnt my normal facade of serene happiness ppl are like 'bloody hell cavy that's a bit morbid...' or just try to avoid it and just pretend it is a joke or whatever. idk it is hard to describe, just sometimes i want a serious bloody conversation and i just feel like a joke to a lot of ppl tbh and tbh i do like joking with ppl and being 'happy' bc whilst ur talking to ppl about their pet cat or whatever u dont have to reflect on ur own internal sadness but then sometimes inrl i just want someone to be like are u acc alright cos ppl do online tbf but eugh idk. this is way too long, legit intended to write a sentence on how cute u are then that was it. reign it in cavy
    :cube:
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    Can it be ****ing over already? Have had a awful day today and it's just one thing after another. Had a terrifying experience on the road today... it's left me a wreck. Allergic reaction at work has ****ed me over and now I've come on my ****ing period.

    All day shift at work tomorrow and I'm not sure I'm going to be able to manage it :cry:
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    (Original post by CoolCavy)
    :loveduck:
    awww, ur so cute (sorry not sorry )
    I will end up back on it (lol sound like a drug addict) cos i dont intend for this to be permanent bc i like the 'privacy' of anon but if ppl on here could just idk i just think everyone thinks everything is fine and it isnt and i dont want ppl acting weird or nothing but everyone just sort of dumps things on me really which 99.9% of the time im glad i can help and support them with but like 0.1% of the time i just want to be left alone really.
    idk
    it is just difficult inrl bc everytime i go to say something that isnt my normal facade of serene happiness ppl are like 'bloody hell cavy that's a bit morbid...' or just try to avoid it and just pretend it is a joke or whatever. idk it is hard to describe, just sometimes i want a serious bloody conversation and i just feel like a joke to a lot of ppl tbh and tbh i do like joking with ppl and being 'happy' bc whilst ur talking to ppl about their pet cat or whatever u dont have to reflect on ur own internal sadness but then sometimes inrl i just want someone to be like are u acc alright cos ppl do online tbf but eugh idk. this is way too long, legit intended to write a sentence on how cute u are then that was it. reign it in cavy
    :cube:
    Hope you're alright lovely :hugs:
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    (Original post by CoolCavy)
    :loveduck:
    awww, ur so cute (sorry not sorry )
    I will end up back on it (lol sound like a drug addict) cos i dont intend for this to be permanent bc i like the 'privacy' of anon but if ppl on here could just idk i just think everyone thinks everything is fine and it isnt and i dont want ppl acting weird or nothing but everyone just sort of dumps things on me really which 99.9% of the time im glad i can help and support them with but like 0.1% of the time i just want to be left alone really.
    idk
    it is just difficult inrl bc everytime i go to say something that isnt my normal facade of serene happiness ppl are like 'bloody hell cavy that's a bit morbid...' or just try to avoid it and just pretend it is a joke or whatever. idk it is hard to describe, just sometimes i want a serious bloody conversation and i just feel like a joke to a lot of ppl tbh and tbh i do like joking with ppl and being 'happy' bc whilst ur talking to ppl about their pet cat or whatever u dont have to reflect on ur own internal sadness but then sometimes inrl i just want someone to be like are u acc alright cos ppl do online tbf but eugh idk. this is way too long, legit intended to write a sentence on how cute u are then that was it. reign it in cavy
    :cube:
    :hugs: :jumphug: sending you all the hugs in the world. You will never be a nuisance to me.

    PS not cute. Denying the VM
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    (Original post by airmed)
    Trazodone's lowest dosage in capsule form is 50mg. They don't come scored as they are capsules. My dosage is 25mg a night. Hence liquid. It's all because I'm super sensitive to side effects.
    Oh wow that is low. Are you also more sensitive to the good effects of drugs? Like 1 paracetamol for pain rather than two?

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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Oh wow that is low. Are you also more sensitive to the good effects of drugs? Like 1 paracetamol for pain rather than two?

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    Unfortunately not, pain killers don't do much for me, not even prescribed ones like naproxen.
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    (Original post by Airmed)
    Unfortunately not, pain killers don't do much for me, not even prescribed ones like naproxen.
    Oh that sucks, thought you could save a lot of money there.

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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Oh that sucks, thought you could save a lot of money there.

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    If only :moon:
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    Urgh. Why does health anxiety always peak at the weekend when you then have to wait days to see your doctor?
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    Took me 10 minutes to work out the syringe but I have taken my whole 2.5ml of the new medication. Omg. It tastes vile, even though it is meant to taste and smell of orange. My mouth feels funny.
    #11

    Didn't think it was possible to feel bullied at uni, but here we are. It really gets me down, and I can't say anything without it causing a massive argument. My housemates all see how the guy treats me, so it's not just my imagination or anything
    The other morning, I talked to the guy because it had stopped me sleeping and I felt awful, but he didn't seem to care. We live together and used to be really close, and all of a sudden he started being nasty.
    Idk what to do, or how to stop it getting to me.

    Ezme39
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    (Original post by ~Tara~)
    Sorry you had a bad experience after therapy *hugs*

    I have secretly named one part of me, Beth. She's a little. It's a name she really liked and she looks like one of my favourite dolls. She's an innocent and she's a protector. Which has mixed results.
    Spoiler:
    Show
    One day she thought an OD would help because a memory of an attempt came into my brain and she saw how relieved and peaceful I had felt. Hazard of trying to get parts talking to each other I guess.


    Anyway we got through that. She and a teen part protect the rest of us. If sweet, please love me, Beth doesn't work then defensive, I'll argue with you until the cows come home, teen version steps up. It's only really protector parts that have surfaced so far. I find it scary and dangerous to let the really depressed teen part out for long or the part which wants to hurt me..all of the versions of me. So I often don't give them any space.

    I was going good but now I'm really low and feel like I don't have control over who is in charge. I don't feel like me. I've been debating asking for inpatient to keep me safe but I'm worried about consequences for job and uni and partner
    Sounds like there are lots of different parts to you. To my knowledge, I only have 5: four of which have labels but bear my name in some form or another, and one that just isn't me at all and has a completely different name
    Spoiler:
    Show
    the name of my abuser
    It's really difficult, isn't it, when you feel like you don't have control over who's in charge? It doesn't often happen with me (not being in charge to at least SOME extent) but when it does, it is **** scary. It's kinda what prompted me to get help, coz it made me realise something bigger than me/more entrenched/more sinister is going on
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    I feel funny.
 
 
 
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