Depression Society MkII

I'm at uni and unpacked. Everyone is really nice but it's hard being around people. I've come upstairs now because I can't face them. Spent a while downstairs and had a couple of drinks though. I feel bad for being unsociable and coming back to my room but I don't know how to act around people. I sit there being quiet and not saying anything and I'm scared they'll hate me so I'm hiding away instead.

*cuddles for everyone*

Ugh, I really just want to die right now

I've got a work trial on Wednesday, and apparently if I don't attend it then my benefits may be affected...but with all that's gone on these past couple of days, I really don't think I'd be up to it

Could you get your doctor to write you a note saying you can't attend? Or call them and explain?

Life is very harsh at times but dying isnt the answer.

I don't know...I mean, I probably could but I've been out of work for so long and jobs are hard to come by around here, so I feel that it's almost as if I'm obligated to do it just to avoid sitting in front of my computer for another year. Parents are both pushing me into it, desperate to get me into work as well, I don't think mum's aware that I'm depressed and dad knows but has no idea about the severity...and if he did then he'd just ask questions relentlessly because he "wants to understand", and last time he did that I found it even more nerve racking than these damned job interviews

At times it honestly does feel that way. It seems as though I either put up with a life of misery or I kill myself. I've already had depression for more than a third of my life and it just gets worse and worse. I'd love to have a life without depression once again, but I can barely remember what that feels like and it sure as hell doesn't look likely to be coming up in the foreseeable future.

I had a bit of a breakdown last night. Scared my mum so badly that she took me to A&E this morning and now I'm on beta-blockers to calm me down. I've been alright today, so hopefully this means I might be able to go to school tomorrow. I'm getting fed up of this now and I miss my friends.

I honestly thought that the doctor was going to make me an inpatient. That's how insane I felt. It was so scary. But I feel better now.

Hey guys. I thought I might start posting here, and chat with people who might understand my feelings.

It's just...I'm feeling alone and down. My housemate's in, but I barely know him. Have suggested we go out one night when he gets some money, but I just don't have the energy right now to try.

I thought it might help if I chronicled my thoughts and feelings, if only so I can admit to what I am feling, and so I can see it. Has anyone else tried this?

I'm growing weary of how things are right now. I'm fed up of being single, and I'm fed up of keeping up the strong, cheery persona that everyone else sees.

I just want to be loved. Is it really so hard for anyone to love me?

I've been on anti-depressants before, but I didn't get another prescription because they weren't making me feel any better.

What were they and how long did your prescription last? In my experience doctors will generally not give out more than a month's pills in a go, and that's usually at the lower end of the time scale for anti-depressants to take effect (makes me cringe just thinking about it, since I've just started a prescription of citalopram and still have a couple of weeks before they'll take effect)

I can't remember. I just remember the name began with 'P'. If I saw the name, I'd recognise it.

And yeah, I was only on them for about a month. Figured I'd just been given some placebos, and didn't see any point in carrying on with them.

Hello,

You normally need to give any anti-depressant at least 6 weeks before it starts to take effect, and different anti-depressants work for different people, so it might be worth going back to your doctor to review your medication.

how are you today jonathan?

i'm ok, still very nervous

How are you, Luke? Thank you for talking to me last night.

Hope everyone is settling in at uni ok. I moved house today so I'm with 2 girls and 3 boys now. They seem nice but I still feel lonely and out of place. Kinda missing my old room already which is a bit pathetic. Really am tempted to give up and go home. I don't fit in here.

Anyway...going to bed now as 6 hours of lectures tomorrow. So scared of telling accommodation that I've moved. Hope they won't be too angry that we did it before telling them