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    (Original post by Valvopus)
    Couldn't sleep much at all last night. Going to get up and try not to have a nap today so hopefully can get a normal ish sleeping pattern back. Can't decide if I feel hungry or sick which isn't really the best thing to wake up to. Think some of it is that I'm feeling anxious about my mum coming home and, well basically everything at the minute. New plan for the day is to not panic.

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    I had a nap until midday as I couldn't sleep last night either :hugs: why does your mum coming home make you anxious? Does she know and could you possibly tell her?

    (Original post by SweetNothing)
    Meant to be going to view my puppy today but my anxiety is kicking in and I don't know what to say to the people, just going to end up being awkward


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    Just act so engrossed in the puppy and they'll think you're just pet obsessed so it won't matter too much if you don't have a ton to say to them!

    (Original post by Team_McDreamy)
    starting to wonder whether i'm asking too much of my antidepressants? like, when i saw the different doc yesterday he seemed surprised that i had noticed basically no overall improvement/minimal after 6 months on citalopram and 1 and a half on sertraline (i have noticed small improvements every time i increase but they tend to subside after a couple weeks) and that i thought a lot of my progress was due to my counselling and just the process of seeing my doc every other week.

    like, how much effect should i be expecting? i know they're not "happy pills" so I'm not exactly hoping to be bouncing out bed whistling and skipping to lectures, but still. i can get out of bed and to lectures. i can sustain social interaction for a number of hours. but i still feel so empty and sad and numb and i'm still having bad urges and nights of crying and terrible insomnia. is this as good as its gonna get?
    I found while they did seem to help me a slight bit it was so minimal it was almost placebo, and they did flat line very quickly. When I stopped them I became interested in my hobbies again overnight. I hadn't realised how much they had been numbing me. They do work to a degree in terms of getting you out of bed and into work or uni or wherever but they didn't increase my mood at all :hugs:

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    Utterly flunked my 2nd year. PhD is out of sight now
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    (Original post by james1211)
    I found while they did seem to help me a slight bit it was so minimal it was almost placebo, and they did flat line very quickly. When I stopped them I became interested in my hobbies again overnight. I hadn't realised how much they had been numbing me. They do work to a degree in terms of getting you out of bed and into work or uni or wherever but they didn't increase my mood at all :hugs:

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    it's been so long that i've been struggling with mood problems that i think i've forgotten what normal life feels like. for all i know this might be normal life i stopped for a week last week (unintentionally, ran out) and felt horrible so i guess they're doing something but what they're doing is invisible to my mind. i still can't bring myself to do any of the activities that i used to love because i can't enjoy them and that makes me sad
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    (Original post by james1211)
    I had a nap until midday as I couldn't sleep last night either :hugs: why does your mum coming home make you anxious? Does she know and could you possibly tell her?
    I was on holiday with her and a few other relatives last week, felt terrible and not very safe. Didn't socialise much and got drunk which "embarrassed her". So I bought myself a plane ticket home which she wasn't too pleased with. She's pretty awful at dealing with MH stuff and me in general and I'm just going to get shouted at about the whole thing plus whatever else I've done wrong. If I say she's making it worse the conversation will no doubt contain such helpful phrases as
    "Why are you being like this?" "But I'm your mother" " You're not being reasonable" "You're upsetting me" and so on. And then she'll be passive aggressive and possibly give me the silent treatment followed by me receiving a phone call from my dad telling me to play nice because she's upset, overall not worth it

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    (Original post by Valvopus)
    I do normally massively clean the house before they get home from holidays but you're right she just moans about other things. Since she's going to complain no matter what I do there's no point in trying to pander to it/ I'm feeling lazy today. The house could fall apart and I guarantee it would be my fault for not being psychic, slight exaggeration but I honestly wouldn't put it past her.

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    Yeah I know what you mean, I don't get it as badly but it does feel like that sometimes with my parents! Especially when they keep telling me to do different things and every time I do what one says the other tells me off :rolleyes: At which point I give up and decide that if I'm going to be told off anyway, it may as well be for doing what I wanted to do in the first place I wish I could do/say something to help but I'm out of suggestions, sorry- not sure as there is any right way of dealing with it if I'm honest just try not to come out with something you'll regret later if you can


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    (Original post by james1211)
    Just act so engrossed in the puppy and they'll think you're just pet obsessed so it won't matter too much if you don't have a ton to say to them!
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    That's what I did! I pick him up Tuesday
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    I need some advice please

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    don't know what to do... got an email from wellbeing saying that they've booked an appointment in about 2 and half weeks to see the main MH adviser person to 'plan' the new year ahead. they said I should get in contact to say if this is suitable. with all my heart I don't want to go. I am ****ed. the wellbeing services completely ****ed me over last year. without a doubt they made things more intense, more stressful and more exhausting than it ever needed to be. they took control away from me and a lot of the staff were really dangerous. I want to stay away like the plague. they clearly are not well trained enough to deal with whats going on with me and suggest ridiculous things. but I don't think I can email back just saying I don't want to because I promised the therapist I would get in contact and she has spoken to the woman who has just emailed. it might seem like a little deal or whatever, and I should just go to keep the peace, but I know for 100% that if I go I will be hooked into this horribly toxic environment again. I will have no choice and every time I try and resist etc, she starts going on about how it's 'the illness' etc. which is bull****, and then she says 'im going to take responsibility and book this for you' etc. I literally do not know what to do. I want to ignore the email and cancel the appointment. I had it in my head that I was going to go it alone and I genuinely believe from the bottom of my heart (whilst I was going through the horrendous ordeal with them, and still now, 4 months later after not seeing them) that staying away at all costs is the best thing for my health. advice would be appreciated please.
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    Well this is awkward.
    Watching heartbeat with my mum and one of the characters mum says has a persecurity complex, basically paranoid someones trying to kill him.
    She just went "must be awful to live with" and im like yeah must be awful...
    Dont think she realises how bad my paranoia can get


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    (Original post by Noodlzzz)
    Utterly flunked my 2nd year. PhD is out of sight now
    I can chat on Facebook if you need to (awake again now ) :jumphug:

    (Original post by ScaryScience)
    I need some advice please

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    don't know what to do... got an email from wellbeing saying that they've booked an appointment in about 2 and half weeks to see the main MH adviser person to 'plan' the new year ahead. they said I should get in contact to say if this is suitable. with all my heart I don't want to go. I am ****ed. the wellbeing services completely ****ed me over last year. without a doubt they made things more intense, more stressful and more exhausting than it ever needed to be. they took control away from me and a lot of the staff were really dangerous. I want to stay away like the plague. they clearly are not well trained enough to deal with whats going on with me and suggest ridiculous things. but I don't think I can email back just saying I don't want to because I promised the therapist I would get in contact and she has spoken to the woman who has just emailed. it might seem like a little deal or whatever, and I should just go to keep the peace, but I know for 100% that if I go I will be hooked into this horribly toxic environment again. I will have no choice and every time I try and resist etc, she starts going on about how it's 'the illness' etc. which is bull****, and then she says 'im going to take responsibility and book this for you' etc. I literally do not know what to do. I want to ignore the email and cancel the appointment. I had it in my head that I was going to go it alone and I genuinely believe from the bottom of my heart (whilst I was going through the horrendous ordeal with them, and still now, 4 months later after not seeing them) that staying away at all costs is the best thing for my health. advice would be appreciated please.
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    We can talk about this on Facebook if you like. Generally speaking I have my reservations about you going it alone but you're right that these lot are incompetent and make things worse for you. It might be worth politely highlighting that in your email back to them? :dontknow:
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    Not panicking isn't off to a great start. Might go hide in bed for a while.

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    (Original post by Valvopus)
    Not panicking isn't off to a great start. Might go hide in bed for a while.

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    :hugs:
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    (Original post by Valvopus)
    I do normally massively clean the house before they get home from holidays but you're right she just moans about other things. Since she's going to complain no matter what I do there's no point in trying to pander to it/ I'm feeling lazy today. The house could fall apart and I guarantee it would be my fault for not being psychic, slight exaggeration but I honestly wouldn't put it past her.

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    honestly feel like i've written this about my own situation!
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    Been generally in a good mood/excited about life for the last few weeks or so....so much so that it's actually a bit worrying about whats wrong with me :lol: and then having anxiety about whether ill crash again soon
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    (Original post by lauraaaaa)
    Been generally in a good mood/excited about life for the last few weeks or so....so much so that it's actually a bit worrying about whats wrong with me :lol: and then having anxiety about whether ill crash again soon
    This is exactly like me!


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    (Original post by SweetNothing)
    This is exactly like me!
    Just realised I missed some apostrophes out in my last post, oops I understand that I have a way to go, and things I need to work on, but I'm generally in a pretty good head space rn! It never seems to last though so I'm waiting for it to end
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    (Original post by lauraaaaa)
    Just realised I missed some apostrophes out in my last post, oops I understand that I have a way to go, and things I need to work on, but I'm generally in a pretty good head space rn! It never seems to last though so I'm waiting for it to end
    My grammar is fully dependent on how bad I feel when typing, when I mix up their/there and abuse apostrophes then I'm not good :P
    I know it sounds horribly cliché but maybe try to enjoy the good while it's here?


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    My mum is home soon and I'm supposed to have cleared out my whole bedroom and all I've done is lie around feeling sad


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    (Original post by Odd socks)
    My mum is home soon and I'm supposed to have cleared out my whole bedroom and all I've done is lie around feeling sad


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    You were strategising which area to tackle first.

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    (Original post by Valvopus)
    You were strategising which area to tackle first.

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    Don't think she'll accept that I should borrow your bingo thing and see how many I get


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    (Original post by Odd socks)
    Don't think she'll accept that I should borrow your bingo thing and see how many I get


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    You could make your own? It makes it easier in some ways because you realise how ridiculous the things they are saying are. For instance the phrase "I'm your mother" isn't any sort of argument for me to do xy or z. I can send you the file just as soon as I leave the cocoon I've made since the floor isn't comfy.

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