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*pink_sapphires*
Well my lectures are over already. The second one was just walking into a room, picking up a lab safety handbook and walking out the opposite door! Sat in my room now on here. Need to tidy up before my mum comes tomorrow. Got some work to do aswell. Going to go into town about midday when it's stopped raining. My house smells of cigarette smoke as one of the girls smokes and it's horrible. Trying to maintain a balanced feeling and it's hard. I know that one little thing will push me over the edge and I'll be in tears again. I really do feel pathetic and I wish that either a) my doctor hadn't left and hadn't taken me off my anti-depressants or b) I'd brought my supply of anti-depressants with me. (that would have been effort though because mum took them off me and i don't know where she's put them).

Anyway...sorry for being so miserable and a rubbish friend :frown:

You aren't being rubbish :hugs: It's a difficult time for all of us who've moved away, and also I'm bring rubbisher, I don't text people back! If you need me, text me, okay?
raspberrybubbles
You aren't being rubbish :hugs: It's a difficult time for all of us who've moved away, and also I'm bring rubbisher, I don't text people back! If you need me, text me, okay?


Thanks hun :hugs: Sorry I took so long to text back last night. I was going to reply to your last text but didn't know what to say. Hope indie night was good though?
Bangers+Mash
I've looked, but it doesnt have the exact course i want.

Im now looking at UEA. Where is Siti :rolleyes:


Sorry I was at choir. Come to UEA! I'll even meet you on the open day! Its amazing. Please apply. pwease. I'll give you a hug...:p: :wink: :yep:

-----

I still have that cold from 2 months ago. and its really starting to annoy me. Surely i should be better by now. Im going to go to the doctors and ask what the hell is going wrong with me because i need to get better. Everyone else has :frown:
Wtf is going on? For some reason all my housemates seem to be blanking me, all getting along together without me. Every time I go in the kitchen I hear them all talking among each other from outside the door, then when I go in they all shut up, complete silence, so I'm like "hey you guys ok", "yeah we're ok" .... *silence* No matter what I say I can't get more than a line out of them. Then when I leave the kitchen they all start talking again. What gives? :frown:
Sabertooth
Wtf is going on? For some reason all my housemates seem to be blanking me, all getting along together without me. Every time I go in the kitchen I hear them all talking among each other from outside the door, then when I go in they all shut up, complete silence, so I'm like "hey you guys ok", "yeah we're ok" .... *silence* No matter what I say I can't get more than a line out of them. Then when I leave the kitchen they all start talking again. What gives? :frown:


It's like that here too. It's as if I have a giant sticker on my head that says 'I'm not normal, don't speak to me.' Although actually, I'm not normal, but yeah...anyway...I know it's hard but why not hang around the kitchen a bit? I've tried it a few times and even though it's not always successful, i got to know a bit about the people and got to know that they're not like me. As soon as someone starts smoking though I leave
*pink_sapphires*
It's like that here too. It's as if I have a giant sticker on my head that says 'I'm not normal, don't speak to me.' Although actually, I'm not normal, but yeah...anyway...I know it's hard but why not hang around the kitchen a bit? I've tried it a few times and even though it's not always successful, i got to know a bit about the people and got to know that they're not like me. As soon as someone starts smoking though I leave


Yeah I know what you mean about the sticker. :frown: I've tried hanging around the kitchen - even if it's just whilst the kettle's boiling, but they're so short with me it's really disheartening. Got my first lecture this afternoon so hopefully I can sit by someone and talk to them.

It sucks you live with smokers, how's that allowed in uni accom? :s-smilie:
Sabertooth
Yeah I know what you mean about the sticker. :frown: I've tried hanging around the kitchen - even if it's just whilst the kettle's boiling, but they're so short with me it's really disheartening. Got my first lecture this afternoon so hopefully I can sit by someone and talk to them.

It sucks you live with smokers, how's that allowed in uni accom? :s-smilie:


It's not but they stand by the back door so the cigarette is outside and they're standing inside. But all the smoke comes inside and it's disgusting. Really getting me down. Wish I lived on my own :frown:
*pink_sapphires*
It's not but they stand by the back door so the cigarette is outside and they're standing inside. But all the smoke comes inside and it's disgusting. Really getting me down. Wish I lived on my own :frown:


:hugs: that's really thoughtless of them. Could you not have a word with them, or if not with them you could always ask the warden to pretend he's noticed what they're doing (ie. you didn't tell him)?
Sabertooth
:hugs: that's really thoughtless of them. Could you not have a word with them, or if not with them you could always ask the warden to pretend he's noticed what they're doing (ie. you didn't tell him)?


I suppose I could ring Campus Watch but I doubt they'd do anything. The time they got here they'd have stopped smoking. And people can turn round and say it's within their rights and stuff. *sighs* Just gets me down. Think I'm going to stay in my room all day :frown:
Reply 3149
Sabertooth
It sucks you live with smokers, how's that allowed in uni accom? :s-smilie:
Smoking's banned in all university accommodation as far as I'm aware. Smokers rarely actually give a damn about it, though - I've seen them do everything from sticking their heads out the kitchen window to putting a plastic bag or something over the smoke detectors (which they'd remove before scheduled inspections) :rolleyes: As long as they're not caught they don't get into trouble, and even if they ARE caught they rarely get anything more than a ticking off.
The medical centre seems to be great, they want me to get referred and to see the doc asap so we can get things rolling :biggrin: They might be a bit unorganised but I guess we'll see what thursday brings. The nurse was really nice, and I felt as if she actually cared.

My moods really dropped but I think it's cos I'm shattered, I'm trying to sleep tonight and not go out!
Met a girl at uni who is bi-polar. She went to the doctors on Thursday and they referred her to a psych and she saw them yesterday. Thought that was amazing service!

Feeling a bit better this afternoon but not much. One little thing will tip me over the edge, I can just tell :frown:
Reply 3152
Weird. I posted something but it didn't post :s-smilie:. *Kicks TSR*.
Laus
Weird. I posted something but it didn't post :s-smilie:. *Kicks TSR*.


:jumphug:

Hi laus, how're you? Many :hugs:
Are you ok Laus? :hugs:
Reply 3155
Laus
Weird. I posted something but it didn't post :s-smilie:. *Kicks TSR*.

Awww, that sucks :hugs: But don't hit TSR, it's my job to break it :p:

You OK, sweetie?
I have a 5pm seminar and I need a cuddle from David. I feel so low and i just want to vanish :frown: :cry: i wont see him till tonight but I need it now. All of the people in my seminars dont talk to me and its not very nice because they are all preppy perfect girls.
starchild
I have a 5pm seminar and I need a cuddle from David. I feel so low and i just want to vanish :frown: :cry: i wont see him till tonight but I need it now. All of the people in my seminars dont talk to me and its not very nice because they are all preppy perfect girls.


siti, i know it's not the same, but have a virtual hug from me - :hugs:

hope your seminar goes ok. :smile:
i am sat blubbing like a baby and worried that ole git depression is going to return and turn me upside down again! I only had a 2hr lecture today and sat near in tears throughout it. I think i have made a HUGE mistake coming to uni. Most of the people on my course already know each other from college, plus they have covered in depth, things which are new to me. I have tried talking to them, but because i don't live in halls, have any money to 'go shopping, drinking and partying' with, i just don't fit in. They don't even seem keen to try and build new friendships. I feel useless, as alot of the uni stuff in on-line, whereas i am useless at computers/have an internet connection which keeps failing and due to a medical condition, find it very hard to spend long on computers. I was told to go on the pc courses, but they clash with my classes. I feel gut-knotted-sick about being here and so alone. I spent many happy years living alone, but never experienced such a depth of 'aloneness' which i am experiencing now. Tomorrow is my first full day, i am dreading it incase i just can't cope.
Did another two hours of school today and didn't run off or anything, so I suppose that was good. I don't feel good though. Even with the beta-blockers, I've still been feeling shaky and panicky today. And I accidentally spilled a mug of hot chocolate on my lap and it was burning me so mum told me to take my trousers off and I did... then she looked to see if I was burnt and saw the scars on my legs... :frown:
She took it quite well, I think she'd already guessed to be honest and I told her I've stopped now and promised not to do it again. I don't think my promises mean anything to anyone now though... I've proved myself to be a liar too many times.

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