minimarshmallow
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#301
Report 6 years ago
#301
(Original post by manchesterunited15)
But you said there is "no problem"
Yeah, because that person said they didn't want to have sex with a man (which they wouldn't be doing at all with the accepted sex/gender terminology) or a male (which they wouldn't be doing post-op, as you are legally and medically the sex you've been reassigned to).
0
reply
Solemn Rain
Badges: 15
Rep:
?
#302
Report 6 years ago
#302
why are you guys arguing about nothing? genuine questions to Lily - how has your life changed? And mentally, how did you find the transition from male to female body? Last one, do you sometimes forget you're a woman now?
0
reply
garfeeled
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#303
Report 6 years ago
#303
I've got a question. If you are transgender do you feel "detached" from your body. Not sure if detached is the right word.
0
reply
there's too much love
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#304
Report 6 years ago
#304
By the way, if anyone is worried that they're not sure how to be considerate and respectful towards people in the trans community, these are some great reads!

http://www.wikihow.com/Respect-a-Transgender-Person

http://freethoughtblogs.com/natalier...tive-about-it/

http://americantransman.com/2012/04/...-trans-person/
0
reply
Emaemmaemily
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#305
Report 6 years ago
#305
I am now re-opening the thread.
This thread must return to the original point. Any off topic spammy arguments, trolling or offensiveness will be dealt with. Spam includes those who respond to rule breaking instead of reporting it an ignoring.
Please, can all users stick to the rules so that the thread does not have to be closed permanently.
1
reply
fallen_acorns
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#306
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#306
oh wow, how many posts were deleted??? seems like huge chunks of arguements are missing.. but probably for the beset!

Thanks to everyone who said nice things though

And there are about 4/5 questions ive noted, and have ready to answer.. but I will do so tommorow, when im more awake

lily x
1
reply
minimarshmallow
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#307
Report 6 years ago
#307
(Original post by fallen_acorns)
oh wow, how many posts were deleted??? seems like huge chunks of arguements are missing.. but probably for the beset!

Thanks to everyone who said nice things though

And there are about 4/5 questions ive noted, and have ready to answer.. but I will do so tommorow, when im more awake

lily x
Upwards of 9 pages were deleted I think.

I hope you're not forgetting about my old question about trans people in the media It was a few days ago so I thought I'd re-prompt you.
0
reply
fallen_acorns
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#308
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#308
(Original post by minimarshmallow)
Upwards of 9 pages were deleted I think.

I hope you're not forgetting about my old question about trans people in the media It was a few days ago so I thought I'd re-prompt you.
hehe nope! was going to answer it today.. but got rather distracted by that poster earlier (the original one)

Im sure its probably best that I didnt see all that was posted... but a part of me really wants to read through it all!

+ I was talking about your question tonight actually me and a few friends were discussing quite a number of issues, and the potrail of LGBT characters in comedy came up.. was quite an interesting chat

Il type up a good response soon, dont worry :P
0
reply
HmMusic
Badges: 9
Rep:
?
#309
Report 6 years ago
#309
Hi, I don't really have a question for you but just wanted to say I was reading through this thread last night... Got really confused when the posts were deleted... And then continued reading this morning, and I think what you are doing is wonderful, inspiring and a fantastic way to educate people! Good to see so much positivity on TSR as well. It really makes me feel better about humanity! Well done, keep up the good work. :heart:
5
reply
fallen_acorns
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#310
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#310
(Original post by HmMusic)
Hi, I don't really have a question for you but just wanted to say I was reading through this thread last night... Got really confused when the posts were deleted... And then continued reading this morning, and I think what you are doing is wonderful, inspiring and a fantastic way to educate people! Good to see so much positivity on TSR as well. It really makes me feel better about humanity! Well done, keep up the good work. :heart:
aww thank you!


- to everyone else, im now a bit more free.. (such a busy few days.. ive only been able to have 10h sleep in the last 90, its been incredibly chaotic!) - so I will be going back through your questions today, and answering them
0
reply
fallen_acorns
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#311
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#311
(Original post by garfeeled)
I've got a question. If you are transgender do you feel "detached" from your body. Not sure if detached is the right word.
yes actually.. and its a really wierd feeling..

To have this dissconect from your physical self, is something thats quite hard to explain.

ofcourse its you, but at the same time, its wrong - and it doesnt feel like you.

For most people their physical self, love or hate it, is such an integral part of who they are.. when you take that away - it really is quite unusual, and you can sometimes feel lost.. as who are you, but your physical presense? beyond that its a little more complicated..

so in short.. yes
0
reply
fallen_acorns
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#312
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#312
(Original post by manchesterunited15)
But anyway, back to my question (originally directed at minimarshmallow), do you really think a post op transwoman should not tell sexual partners this?
this gets asked a lot.. as it seems to be one of the first things people worry about.

in reality, its a tiny tiny problem, that rarely ever happens.

My personal opinion, is that hopefully sometime in the future people wont feel the need to hide their trans idenitiy, and that we can grow to accept - even the unfortunate way we were born. the stigma around it will be reduced... - people ofcurse can live in 'stealth' - but would never feel frightened of mentioning it, or threatened of mentioning it.

As it currently stands though, the issue is a little more complex then yes, or no.

many questions need to be asked:

Are they activly trying to decieve the partner?
Is it safe for them to tell the partner? (do they risk being outed, and then attacked etc.)
Is their an obligation to disclose your medical history?
Is it a relationship, or a one night stand?
Are they both drunk? (sounds silly.. but..)

etc. you could list many more..

And from those you could judge each case and say:

yes she was wrong,
or
No, actually the presumption was on the other person
or
telling would have risked her being assulted/abused, so no..
or
It was a relationship, and she broke the trust..
-etc.. - you get the picture..


But its not as simple as just saying, a straigh yes. or a straight no.
0
reply
fallen_acorns
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#313
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#313
(Original post by kidomo)
I'm curious...how do they remove the penis and convert it to a vagina? sounds like a MAJOR operation!
it is a major operation

Im no surgeon or doctor... I know what happens (but it sounds like so do you) - but I have no idea how they do it.. I couldnt tell you 'they cut it like X, and then attach that to Y' etc..

it seems like you have a rough idea.. and I dare say, if your more interested, you can find out online.. infact there are full videos of the sugery online..
0
reply
Dragonfly07
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#314
Report 6 years ago
#314
Sorry if this has been asked before, but are people able to tell that you're trans or do they just assume that you were born a woman?

If the latter, then did you notice a change in people's attitudes to you when they thought you're a man vs. when they thought you're a woman?
0
reply
LewisG123
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#315
Report 6 years ago
#315
At what point would you tell a man who you were dating that you're trans


Posted from TSR Mobile
0
reply
fallen_acorns
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#316
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#316
(Original post by Dragonfly07)
Sorry if this has been asked before, but are people able to tell that you're trans or do they just assume that you were born a woman?

If the latter, then did you notice a change in people's attitudes to you when they thought you're a man vs. when they thought you're a woman?
Unfortunatly its very obvious in person, everyone can tell


(Original post by LewisG123)
At what point would you tell a man who you were dating that you're trans


Posted from TSR Mobile
see above, no chance of this happening to me... - hypothetically though, I would tell them straight away.
0
reply
there's too much love
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#317
Report 6 years ago
#317
Hey lilly, how are you? .

Just popping in because in the middle of a discussion turned debate I made a statement saying:
I think it would be good if both men and pre op trans people should also be included in petas campaign, as well as people of different body weights, ages etc.

Now my thinking was that to refer to a pre op trans person as the sex they feel they are but physically aren't would cause confusion for most.
To think of them as the sex they physically are but don't identify as would be offensive.
But to think of a post op as a trans post op man/woman instead of simply as a man/woman would also be offensive. It's almost like saying they're not a real man/woman.

On the other hand, some post ops might want to identify as trans post op.

Now obviously you don't talk for most trans people. You talk for yourself.
But you probably have more of an idea than I do:
Was making the distinction trans phobic?
And is thinking of a trans post op as just a man or a woman, as opposed to a trans post op man or woman oppressive/offensive?

Thanks a lot for any insights you can give me, Tom .
1
reply
fallen_acorns
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#318
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#318
(Original post by there's too much love)
Hey lilly, how are you? .

good ta

Just popping in because in the middle of a discussion turned debate I made a statement saying:

I think it would be good if both men and pre op trans people should also be included in petas campaign, as well as people of different body weights, ages etc.

your going to have to fill me in on petas campaign? the only peta I know is the anmial rights people, and im sure thats not what you mean...

Now my thinking was that to refer to a pre op trans person as the sex they feel they are but physically aren't would cause confusion for most.
To think of them as the sex they physically are but don't identify as would be offensive.
But to think of a post op as a trans post op man/woman instead of simply as a man/woman would also be offensive. It's almost like saying they're not a real man/woman.

yep, you certianly highlight how confusing it is, and how trans people often just dont fit well into normal labels.. really though, its hard to find a universal solution for trans people, as we all will deal with dyshpora and the pain/feelings in different ways..

Personally I will probably always identify as a trans woman, just because over the past few years its became quite a big part of who I am (dispite me not wanting it to) - and its helped shape my life, and what im doing now --- BUT, for other trans people.. refering to them as anything but a normal man/women, post sugery, would cause a lot of upset/offense..
So really its just hard to try and put a complete rule, on things..

(pre-op is much more confusing.. )


On the other hand, some post ops might want to identify as trans post op.

yep

Now obviously you don't talk for most trans people. You talk for yourself.
But you probably have more of an idea than I do:
Was making the distinction trans phobic?
And is thinking of a trans post op as just a man or a woman, as opposed to a trans post op man or woman oppressive/offensive?

personally I dont see anything there thats offensive, or transphobic? - sure it could upset some, if you say one of the things to a person who identifies as the other.. but the distinction itself is fine, as its one that apears normally within the trans community - with some looking at themselves one way, and others differently..

Thanks a lot for any insights you can give me, Tom .
glossing over how bad ive been at replying to some of these messages, see reply in bold

(think Ive answered what you were getting at.. though probably not.. Im very tired,
0
reply
there's too much love
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#319
Report 6 years ago
#319
(Original post by fallen_acorns)
glossing over how bad ive been at replying to some of these messages, see reply in bold

(think Ive answered what you were getting at.. though probably not.. Im very tired,
Only just saw the reply!
The peta campaign is essentially, lets get lots of [generally white] young skinny girls to parade around in salad underwear for the animals.
Non starters appear to be a big deal in this campaign. No-one who does not look conventionally pretty, no-one close to being remotely over weight, over the age of 22? I'd guess. No males. Everyone who dresses up (or more, undresses) is simply a skinny female.

The age thing was made more blatent by showing an older woman fully dressed in one of their salad outfits, with very little on show.



Separate question. Do you feel like there's undue attention centred on your genitalia if people ask about your romantic life/oreintation?
I just came across this comic:
comics.billroundy.com/?p=1116
0
reply
fallen_acorns
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#320
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#320
(Original post by there's too much love)


Separate question. Do you feel like there's undue attention centred on your genitalia if people ask about your romantic life/oreintation?
I just came across this comic:
comics.billroundy.com/?p=1116
Oh god yes!

its often hard to convey to people what its like to have strangers think is apropriate to ask questions about whats between your legs.. - or friends think its perfectly fine to openly discuss it in a public place.. -- as its something most people would find utterly wierd/stupid.. but for a trans person it can be common place..

- same goes for romantic connections.. - its dead easy to get casual sex as a trans women.. - as there are a ton of guys out there with fetishes for trans women.. 'chasers' as they are dubbed.. -- but its very hard to get a relationship.. as almost all of them just want casual sex, to apease a fetish, experiment etc..

You have no idea how many times ive been asked..by guys I dont know - as part of their chat up process - 'so whats between your legs' - 'you still have a penis right?' - 'What are your future sugery plans? as I dont want a trans person who has had sugery' etc. etc.

- so yes, just very much yes

(and that comic is awesome - Ive been sharing it with every group im in/everyone I know at the moment.. because its just such a nice and acsessable way of explaining these things )
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Would you turn to a teacher if you were being bullied?

Yes (47)
25.41%
No (138)
74.59%

Watched Threads

View All