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    (Original post by BullViagra)
    You said women who let their men pay a tenner for their meal are gold diggers and like pets. Tell me how that is not degrading.
    I understand you also find yourself degrading women.

    That's what you said, paying can impress them.

    (Original post by BullViagra)
    And I said men who pay for their girls show that they're doing good for themselves. Sorry but someone who has crappy grades with no job is not attractive for both men and women, of course in some few cases some people disregard that. However that is a minor factor in my point.
    I have been a school governor and I'm going to Oxford.

    I'm not paying for anyone's meal if they think they are entitled to them.

    (Original post by BullViagra)
    Paying is a good gesture, just like holding the door for a woman. If some moral high ground dictates that couples should split, then ok, but go ahead and split a bill - and while you're at it let her open the door herself.
    Opening a door you would need to open for yourself to pass through is very different from paying for a meal you are not going to eat.

    (Original post by BullViagra)
    If you think making an impression is not important in a date (for both parties), then I'm afraid you are a bit daft. Btw, you're blowing the whole situation up by bringing in gold diggers, which I find is hilarious.
    Because it seems that you see all girls as gold diggers.
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    (Original post by Arieh)
    As a girl:

    1) I would expect him to pay on the first date (unless it was me who asked him out), I would however propose to split the bill. If he refuses to split, then I'd buy drinks after dinner, or propose to pay on the second date.

    2) In a relationship, if we have more or less the same income (or no income as of now, as my bf and I are both students), I would split everything. If someone as a bit of extra money and wants to treat the other to a dinner or anything, I'd accept / expect him to accept, but it's not the rule.
    Finally a sane female on this thread
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    What I don't get is why there is no equivalent for women. It's not considered 'ladylike' for a woman to make sandwiches for a guy or clean for him, it's just seen as sexist to expect that nowadays. If a guy does expect women to stay in the kitchen, women can rightly give him the middle finger. Women don't strive to meet arbitrary gender roles considered attractive by a subset of the male population, mainly because they don't have to. They don't care about being called a lady or 'gentlewoman'. Meanwhile, in the 21st century we still have people expecting guys to behave like gentlemen, and it's so ingrained that even acting like a normal person and treating your date as an equal is being a douchebag. Why, you're not paying?!?!? Insanity!!! You're the man!!! Why are you not treating me like a princess? I don't want to treat you anywhere near how I expect you to treat me, but that's beside the point. I AM A WOMAN!!!! :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by BullViagra)
    You said women who let their men pay a tenner for their meal are gold diggers and like pets. Tell me how that is not degrading.

    And I said men who pay for their girls show that they're doing good for themselves. Sorry but someone who has crappy grades with no job is not attractive for both men and women, of course in some few cases some people disregard that. However that is a minor factor in my point. Paying is a good gesture, just like holding the door for a woman. If some moral high ground dictates that couples should split, then ok, but go ahead and split a bill - and while you're at it let her open the door herself. If you think making an impression is not important in a date (for both parties), then I'm afraid you are a bit daft. Btw, you're blowing the whole situation up by bringing in gold diggers, which I find is hilarious.



    Such alpha, spending time making futile trolling exercises on an online board.

    Unless you really are very simple.
    You're either a virgin who has never had a romantic relationship with a woman or you are a sexist who doesn't believe in equality.

    Which one is it?
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    Both pay for your own meal.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
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    (Original post by Top Queen)
    You ou sound like my boyfriend haha. I love guys like you.
    Gold digger alert
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    (Original post by Top Queen)
    No, a girl just deserves better in this world!
    A girl deserves more than what a guy deserves?
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    Depends on how good you look and how prestigious you are .If you are my wife on the other hand my wife will not be working so i pay for everything .
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    (Original post by noshahmad)
    I wouldn't expect guys to pay anyway, I mean I'm going to be the one eating/watching a film etc so it makes no sense to, he would pay for his own stuff and I'd pay for my own and I would hate if he kept pushing to pay because I would feel like he thinks I can't afford myself? Idk I I'd just feel like a bit of a goldigger even though it something so trivial such as him paying for my Starbucks, he has no obligation, if he did indeed pay it would be for the first date and I would return the favour one way or another

    Posted from TSR Mobile

    He'll get to see you pout either way.
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    I would always assume I'd pay my share. Might offer to treat someone once in a while but don't have the money to do it often and in that scenario I'd hope that my partner offered to pay sometimes (if they had the money). If I was seeing someone who had a significantly higher income than me and had expensive tastes that I couldn't afford (liked posh restaurants etc) I would expect them to pay some of my share because I'm not willing to bankrupt myself for someone else when we could just go to the park...

    If someone offered to pay for me I would ALWAYS insist on splitting the bill unless we'd agreed beforehand or there was a good reason (birthday etc) and I'd probably offer to pay next time. Otherwise I'd feel like I was being bought. If someone insisted on paying I'd feel uncomfortable especially if they were a guy and thought they should do it based on gender roles. I don't live by gender roles and I wouldn't want my partner to expect me to.
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    (Original post by clh_hilary)
    I understand you also find yourself degrading women.

    That's what you said, paying can impress them.
    I don't think your reading my comments well.

    (Original post by clh_hilary)
    I have been a school governor and I'm going to Oxford.

    I'm not paying for anyone's meal if they think they are entitled to them.
    Well that's you.
    Who said anything about entitlement? Lol. I said men should pay because it's chivalrous.

    (Original post by clh_hilary)
    Opening a door you would need to open for yourself to pass through is very different from paying for a meal you are not going to eat.
    No it isn't. If everything you do in a date has to have some sort of selfish use, then that's pretty pathetic. Both are mere acts, unless you have serious financial problems.

    (Original post by clh_hilary)
    Because it seems that you see all girls as gold diggers.
    If you're going to continue to be thick, then I will not bother responding.
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    (Original post by BullViagra)
    I don't think your reading my comments well.
    If it doesn't impress, it should mean nothing to the girl. You're degrading women and you refuse to admit it.

    (Original post by BullViagra)
    Well that's you.
    Who said anything about entitlement? Lol. I said men should pay because it's chivalrous.
    Lots of people do.

    (Original post by BullViagra)
    No it isn't. If everything you do in a date has to have some sort of selfish use, then that's pretty pathetic. Both are mere acts, unless you have serious financial problems.
    You said it showed to the girl that you're doing well.

    (Original post by BullViagra)
    If you're going to continue to be thick, then I will not bother responding.
    Thick by your definition means clever.
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    (Original post by Top Queen)
    I think it's cute, I remember watching an interview with JayZ and he spoke about the fact that he hates letting Beyonce pay for things and although people think it's such an outdated thing to do, it's a mans job. I simply agree, I think it's the mans job, sorry to sound so old fashioned, but then again I don't agree with a lot of the things that are happening in today's society.
    You keep saying things like 'It's a Man's job to do so' etc etc, you haven't given anyone a justification as to why you think that way?
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    (Original post by Top Queen)
    I could never have a second date with someone who didn't pay for the first or any other after that.
    Gold digger?
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    (Original post by clh_hilary)
    If it doesn't impress, it should mean nothing to the girl. You're degrading women and you refuse to admit it.
    Being chivalrous, making a good impression - is degradation. By that logic women should not bother to spend time with make up and clothing, because appearance is superficial and men who expect their girls to dress well are shallow simple minded fools.

    (Original post by clh_hilary)
    Lots of people do.
    Okay.

    (Original post by clh_hilary)
    You said it showed to the girl that you're doing well.
    Still I don't see whats wrong with that. Do you insist girls should give men who are lazy with ****ty grades and no job a chance? If not then they are low life gold diggers?

    (Original post by clh_hilary)
    Thick by your definition means clever.
    Wow, have a cookie for that.
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    (Original post by BullViagra)
    Being chivalrous, making a good impression - is degradation. By that logic women should not bother to spend time with make up and clothing, because appearance is superficial and men who expect their girls to dress well are shallow simple minded fools.
    To dress well is a compliment to yourself, to be paid for merely showing up and eat is not.

    Also, I don't have a problem with people offering, I have a problem with people feeling that they are entitled to getting paid so perhaps we shouldn't argue here.

    (Original post by BullViagra)
    Still I don't see whats wrong with that. Do you insist girls should give men who are lazy with ****ty grades and no job a chance? If not then they are low life gold diggers?
    Because whether someone pays has little to do with whether someone has money or has good grades. I have money and have good grades, I don't pay.
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    (Original post by clh_hilary)
    To dress well is a compliment to yourself, to be paid for merely showing up and eat is not.

    Also, I don't have a problem with people offering, I have a problem with people feeling that they are entitled to getting paid so perhaps we shouldn't argue here.
    Well then better to agree to disagree.
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    (Original post by Top Queen)
    Personally, I think boys should pay for most things but not everything, and I do think girls should pay for things too at times. But I would never pay for anything for someone who I wasn't in a relationship with for a long time.

    In the first year of my relationship I never spent a penny when we went out (me and my boyfriend) but after a year I decided to start paying for things too, I'd say it's about 35:65 - me being the 35 in the ratio. But he will always have to pay more and tbh he wouldn't have it any other way. He says it's the mans job to do so.

    What do you think?

    Always split! I always feel guilty when people pay for things for me- even family! Like I'd never expect a guy to pay for things I wanted. I know it's nice to be treated but that's different- not all the time.
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    (Original post by BullViagra)
    Being chivalrous, making a good impression - is degradation. By that logic women should not bother to spend time with make up and clothing, because appearance is superficial and men who expect their girls to dress well are shallow simple minded fools.



    Okay.



    Still I don't see whats wrong with that. Do you insist girls should give men who are lazy with ****ty grades and no job a chance? If not then they are low life gold diggers?



    Wow, have a cookie for that.
    So if a man refuses to pay for a women's meal then the only reasonable explanation is that he must be either or all; lazy,without a job and has bad grades?

    A person doesn't have to be chivalrous lol, just like a women doesn't have to sleep with a man on the first date.
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    (Original post by Dnator)
    We don't really have a dating culture here. I don't recall ever having a 'first date' in the classic American sense, and I have had a fair few girlfriends.
    I've been raised in Sweden and we don't have a dating culture in that sense either, so I get what you're saying. Although, the first "hang-out" is pretty much the same thing really. I just mean especially if the guy asks the girl out for dinner, coffee, etc, he should be the one paying.
 
 
 
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