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    starting to think about the past and actually quite worried about how early all this developed. i'd been telling myself and all the professionals that it started at about 14 but now memories I think id suppressed are coming to the surface and its really upsetting. remembering when I did something ridiculous aged 10 cause I was so dissociated (though didn't realise that at the time). just listened to a song that I hadn't listened to since I was a child and it brought up so many emotions that I used to feel which I now know where most definitely not normal. which worries me. like this stuff is seriously, seriously entrenched and I don't know my life without a lot of it and im lost and drowning and its horrible.
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    (Original post by sarahwitkowski)
    That was what my first year at uni was like so I know how you feel. I know it's tough but you need to ask for help. I ended up getting a lot of help, including a one-to-one learning mentor who helped me work through anxieties and issues to do with the actual work, and therapy really helped too.

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    If you want to talk about food issues privately I've been there, feel free to PM
    Therapy has been invaluable for me in the past and is probably something I should be looking at again I think. I don't think my disinterest in uni is to do with my mental health stuff, it's the course itself. I rushed into it through clearing because I was panicking about not going at all and it seemed a good idea at the time but not so much now.

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    It's ok, thanks though
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    :jumphug:
    (Original post by sarahwitkowski)
    :hugs: if wanted.
    (Original post by Jean-Luc Picard)
    :hugs: oh scary, huge hugs!


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    thanks everyone. hope you're all ok :hugs:
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    (Original post by entershikari)
    you and me sound quite similar actually, thank you, I think i'll probably go see my GP soon. I hope that you can get the help and support you need c:
    I hope you do. And if you ever need to talk, my inbox is always open.
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    (Original post by Anonymous #2)
    Squishy hugs for everybody :hugs:

    Not sure if I can cope with uni anymore, my attendance is getting worse and I hate it so much. Lying in bed of a morning knowing I've got to go in makes me feel sick and panicky and when I'm actually there I never concentrate anyway. I sat down about 2 hours ago to do a lab report that's due in less than a week and I've written about 30 words due to a mixture of procrastination and crying I think I want to do an access course in science and do chemistry at uni (this was my plan from year 11 until I failed my chemistry and biology a-levels) but if I couldn't do it then what makes me think I can do it now? :dontknow:

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    Mad at myself for being hungry too :mad:
    :jumphug: Don't know what to say but even if you struggled then doesn't mean you will now, and you're interested in it which is definitely a good start. And you'll have done bits of it before. Could have been the teachers or anything last time, doesn't necessarily mean you're bad at it :dontknow:
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    I know it's easy to say but don't be, you're human and needing to eat is part of that :console:



    (Original post by Pathway)
    cant do this :cry:
    You can :hugs:


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    (Original post by ParadoxSocks)
    My baby sister is back in hospital with ketoacidosis. They're trying to bring her blood sugar down as she's at imminent coma levels and I'm completely worried sick. I have placement tomorrow morning so I can't stay in with her tonight (I usually stay with her 24/7 when she's in hospital) and I don't know what to do. Haven't completed my planning for tomorrow because of it and I'm just not doing too well

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    Big hugs :jumphug:

    (Original post by ScaryScience)
    starting to think about the past and actually quite worried about how early all this developed. i'd been telling myself and all the professionals that it started at about 14 but now memories I think id suppressed are coming to the surface and its really upsetting. remembering when I did something ridiculous aged 10 cause I was so dissociated (though didn't realise that at the time). just listened to a song that I hadn't listened to since I was a child and it brought up so many emotions that I used to feel which I now know where most definitely not normal. which worries me. like this stuff is seriously, seriously entrenched and I don't know my life without a lot of it and im lost and drowning and its horrible.
    Oh hun. Would talking on Facebook help? I didn't offer earlier as I was tired and was gonna try and sleep, but E memories won't let me sleep anyway


    (Original post by Midnightmemories)
    My school counsellor is lovely and has helped me with a lot of things... She's even going to be going out of her way to come down to the other site of my school and see me before my exam on Thursday. :hug:

    In other news, today was tough and I'm not sure if i want to actually attend tomorrow.
    Glad your school counsellor is good and proactive Big :hugs: for having had a hard day :console:

    (Original post by Pathway)
    cant do this :cry:
    Are you safe?!?!
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Big hugs :jumphug:
    Glad your school counsellor is good and proactive Big :hugs: for having had a hard day :console:
    She's going to speak to the college that I'm going to in September and she's going to explain to them about me and she's going to arrange the support that i need ready when i get there because she knows that its going to be hard for me to actually arrange it myself. :hugs:

    Today was hard, i think i may get punished by the school again for doing what i did this time. I had to do it, if i stayed in the class i would have probably gotten myself into more trouble than its worth.
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    (Original post by ParadoxSocks)
    My baby sister is back in hospital with ketoacidosis. They're trying to bring her blood sugar down as she's at imminent coma levels and I'm completely worried sick. I have placement tomorrow morning so I can't stay in with her tonight (I usually stay with her 24/7 when she's in hospital) and I don't know what to do. Haven't completed my planning for tomorrow because of it and I'm just not doing too well

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    That's awful, massive hugs to you both :console:

    (Original post by furryface12)
    :jumphug: Don't know what to say but even if you struggled then doesn't mean you will now, and you're interested in it which is definitely a good start. And you'll have done bits of it before. Could have been the teachers or anything last time, doesn't necessarily mean you're bad at it :dontknow:
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    I know it's easy to say but don't be, you're human and needing to eat is part of that :console:


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    It sounds like I'm making excuses for being stupid but my first year of college was the first time in about 3 years I had felt relatively well and the first time in my life I had a good friendship group so I probably didn't try as hard as I should have done maybe. Really think this access course would be good for me, going to mention it to my mum tomorrow.

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    I know, thanks :hugs: I'm low on calories today, even for me, so I'm getting some in the form of cider :mmm:


    Hope you're ok :hugs:
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    (Original post by Midnightmemories)
    She's going to speak to the college that I'm going to in September and she's going to explain to them about me and she's going to arrange the support that i need ready when i get there because she knows that its going to be hard for me to actually arrange it myself. :hugs:
    Sounds like the perfect counsellor!

    Today was hard, i think i may get punished by the school again for doing what i did this time. I had to do it, if i stayed in the class i would have probably gotten myself into more trouble than its worth.
    Did you bunk lessons or something? :ninja:
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Sounds like the perfect counsellor!



    Did you bunk lessons or something? :ninja:
    She's perfect.

    I walked out of a lesson, people where being stupid so i just picked up my bag and was just like: "You know what? I can't take this - I'm going. See you all next lesson."
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    (Original post by Anonymous #2)
    That's awful, massive hugs to you both :console:


    It sounds like I'm making excuses for being stupid but my first year of college was the first time in about 3 years I had felt relatively well and the first time in my life I had a good friendship group so I probably didn't try as hard as I should have done maybe. Really think this access course would be good for me, going to mention it to my mum tomorrow.

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    I know, thanks :hugs: I'm low on calories today, even for me, so I'm getting some in the form of cider :mmm:


    Hope you're ok :hugs:
    Probably same if I'm honest, at the time I thought I was trying as hard as I could but looking back I could have done a lot more, particularly at the beginning. But no, you are definitely not stupid! :hugs:
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    Cider's good :yep: I miss alcohol, even if I didn't drink it a lot in the first place occasionally it was nice. Food is also good though and you probably could do with some of that too, but ah well



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    Big hugs ParadoxSocks, I can't quote you for some reason but I hope she's ok, and you are.


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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Are you safe?!?!
    not sure brain is being stupid and i cant think properly. completely dissociated and i feel weird and i need to get out of here


    (Original post by furryface12)
    :jumphug:



    You can :hugs:


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    :hugs: tahanks

    (Original post by sarahwitkowski)
    :console: here if you want to talk.
    thank you
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    (Original post by ParadoxSocks)
    My baby sister is back in hospital with ketoacidosis. They're trying to bring her blood sugar down as she's at imminent coma levels and I'm completely worried sick. I have placement tomorrow morning so I can't stay in with her tonight (I usually stay with her 24/7 when she's in hospital) and I don't know what to do. Haven't completed my planning for tomorrow because of it and I'm just not doing too well

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    oh no that's awful, they won't let you take time off for something like this? hope your sister is okay! :hugs:

    (Original post by ScaryScience)
    starting to think about the past and actually quite worried about how early all this developed. i'd been telling myself and all the professionals that it started at about 14 but now memories I think id suppressed are coming to the surface and its really upsetting. remembering when I did something ridiculous aged 10 cause I was so dissociated (though didn't realise that at the time). just listened to a song that I hadn't listened to since I was a child and it brought up so many emotions that I used to feel which I now know where most definitely not normal. which worries me. like this stuff is seriously, seriously entrenched and I don't know my life without a lot of it and im lost and drowning and its horrible.
    sorry to hear that scary I really hope they can help you get better soon though, you don't deserve to feel this bad at all! :jumphug:
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    Spoke to my mother on skype, I think she might have guessed something was up but didn't question me about it as her partner was in the room. I know she loves me, and if I did anything it would utterly destroy her - everyday I can't help but feel like I'm getting a couple of steps closer to the edge. I'm close to breaking. :cry2:
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    (Original post by furryface12)
    Probably same if I'm honest, at the time I thought I was trying as hard as I could but looking back I could have done a lot more, particularly at the beginning. But no, you are definitely not stupid! :hugs:
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    Cider's good :yep: I miss alcohol, even if I didn't drink it a lot in the first place occasionally it was nice. Food is also good though and you probably could do with some of that too, but ah well

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    Yeah, I know what you mean. I thought I was doing a lot of work but really I was just going over the stuff I understood when I should have been concentrating on the stuff I didn't.
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    Yeah, I'm not a massive drinker either. My tolerance for alcohol was shocking when I was on meds but even now I'm off them I rarely drink. I know you're right (again), it's just I'm feeling a bit wobbly tonight so I think eating would just make me self-destruct more
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    (Original post by ParadoxSocks)
    My baby sister is back in hospital with ketoacidosis. They're trying to bring her blood sugar down as she's at imminent coma levels and I'm completely worried sick. I have placement tomorrow morning so I can't stay in with her tonight (I usually stay with her 24/7 when she's in hospital) and I don't know what to do. Haven't completed my planning for tomorrow because of it and I'm just not doing too well
    It's very scary, I know, but she's in the best place. Really hoping everything will work <3
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    (Original post by Anonymous #2)
    Yeah, I know what you mean. I thought I was doing a lot of work but really I was just going over the stuff I understood when I should have been concentrating on the stuff I didn't.
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    Yeah, I'm not a massive drinker either. My tolerance for alcohol was shocking when I was on meds but even now I'm off them I rarely drink. I know you're right (again), it's just I'm feeling a bit wobbly tonight so I think eating would just make me self-destruct more
    Yeah, exactly. And I left too much to the last minute and then couldn't do it then for various reasons, which ok I didn't know was going to happen (and I'd give anything for it not to have done) but I shouldn't have let it get that late.
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    I haven't been able to for almost two years so I have no idea what my tolerance (or not...) would be like for it now! But ok, I guess that makes sense, not good though- please try stay safe :hugs:



    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Spoke to my mother on skype, I think she might have guessed something was up but didn't question me about it as her partner was in the room. I know she loves me, and if I did anything it would utterly destroy her - everyday I can't help but feel like I'm getting a couple of steps closer to the edge. I'm close to breaking. :cry2:
    :jumphug: Would it be worth trying to talk to her again sometime, possibly when her partner isn't there too?


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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Big hugs :jumphug:



    Oh hun. Would talking on Facebook help? I didn't offer earlier as I was tired and was gonna try and sleep, but E memories won't let me sleep anyway




    Glad your school counsellor is good and proactive Big :hugs: for having had a hard day :console:



    Are you safe?!?!
    I'm very dissociated atm so probably best not - thank you for the offer and I hope you are ok? if you cant sleep a bit later or feel you need to talk then do poke me on facebook and I will try my best to reply. big :hugs:
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    (Original post by Jean-Luc Picard)
    oh no that's awful, they won't let you take time off for something like this? hope your sister is okay! :hugs:



    sorry to hear that scary I really hope they can help you get better soon though, you don't deserve to feel this bad at all! :jumphug:
    really unlikely but thank you :hugs:
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    (Original post by ScaryScience)
    really unlikely but thank you :hugs:
    Here if you want me <3
 
 
 
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