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    (Original post by ScaryScience)
    really unlikely but thank you :hugs:
    :hugs: well I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you anyway!

    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Spoke to my mother on skype, I think she might have guessed something was up but didn't question me about it as her partner was in the room. I know she loves me, and if I did anything it would utterly destroy her - everyday I can't help but feel like I'm getting a couple of steps closer to the edge. I'm close to breaking. :cry2:
    :console: is there anyone you can talk to about it if things are getting that bad? your partner maybe?
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    (Original post by furryface12)
    :jumphug: Would it be worth trying to talk to her again sometime, possibly when her partner isn't there too?


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    I'm not sure I want to tell her what's going on. She supported me so much over the years, like she came to see me in hospital and I could tell she'd been crying beforehand. I feel like I'm failing her if I let her know things and I don't want to disappoint her again.
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    (Original post by Jean-Luc Picard)
    :console: is there anyone you can talk to about it if things are getting that bad? your partner maybe?
    I try and tell my partner things but I don't think they understand really. It's not like my partner doesn't try to help but more that I don't think they can no matter how much they might want to. Yesterday when I told them how I was feeling they suggested hospital and that is very much the last thing I want to do.

    I'm not sure if anyone can help anymore.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I try and tell my partner things but I don't think they understand really. It's not like my partner doesn't try to help but more that I don't think they can no matter how much they might want to. Yesterday when I told them how I was feeling they suggested hospital and that is very much the last thing I want to do.

    I'm not sure if anyone can help anymore.
    that sucks :/ can you call like a support charity maybe (I don't know if they have anything like samaritans there?), I know it's not much but at least they might be able to listen a bit!

    hopefully somebody can! I hope you make it through this okay! :hugs:
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I try and tell my partner things but I don't think they understand really. It's not like my partner doesn't try to help but more that I don't think they can no matter how much they might want to. Yesterday when I told them how I was feeling they suggested hospital and that is very much the last thing I want to do.

    I'm not sure if anyone can help anymore.
    I probably can't do much, but I'm thinking about you. You can do this, just have to keep pushing, I know you can! <3
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    (Original post by Jean-Luc Picard)
    that sucks :/ can you call like a support charity maybe (I don't know if they have anything like samaritans there?), I know it's not much but at least they might be able to listen a bit!

    hopefully somebody can! I hope you make it through this okay! :hugs:
    My partner's mother pays the phone bill (yeah...don't ask ) so I don't think I can call a listening service. Might call my psychiatrist tomorrow just because I don't know what else to do.

    Thanks JLP, I hope so too.
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    (Original post by lauraaaaa)
    I probably can't do much, but I'm thinking about you. You can do this, just have to keep pushing, I know you can! <3
    Thank you. I am trying, it's just hard to see the end of the tunnel. But I appreciate your thoughts.
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    (Original post by furryface12)
    Yeah, exactly. And I left too much to the last minute and then couldn't do it then for various reasons, which ok I didn't know was going to happen (and I'd give anything for it not to have done) but I shouldn't have let it get that late.
    Spoiler:
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    I haven't been able to for almost two years so I have no idea what my tolerance (or not...) would be like for it now! But ok, I guess that makes sense, not good though- please try stay safe :hugs:


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    All in the past now I guess, nothing we can do now

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    It's fine, moved all potentially bad things and just watching Netflix in bed
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Thank you. I am trying, it's just hard to see the end of the tunnel. But I appreciate your thoughts.
    I think we all understand that feeling. I'm very confident in your ability to get through this. Always here if you want someone to chat too!
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    My partner's mother pays the phone bill (yeah...don't ask ) so I don't think I can call a listening service. Might call my psychiatrist tomorrow just because I don't know what else to do.

    Thanks JLP, I hope so too.
    oh okay, maybe see if one of them does emails? I know Samaritans do but you have to wait for a reply which I guess isn't ideal, though it might help to write things down? that sounds like a plan! hopefully they can help!

    no worries, don't want anyone in here falling off the edge that's for sure! people here are all far too nice for that! :hugs:
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I'm not sure I want to tell her what's going on. She supported me so much over the years, like she came to see me in hospital and I could tell she'd been crying beforehand. I feel like I'm failing her if I let her know things and I don't want to disappoint her again.
    I thought you might say that, but she would probably want to know so she can try to support you again? You're not failing her at all and I'm sure she wouldn't be disappointed- you're her son and she'll want to help you as much as she can.
    (Feeling slightly hypocritical saying this as my parents don't know anything about me and MH stuff, so feel free to ignore me!)


    (Original post by Anonymous #2)
    All in the past now I guess, nothing we can do now

    Spoiler:
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    It's fine, moved all potentially bad things and just watching Netflix in bed
    Yep
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    Good :hugs: Netflix is also good!



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    (Original post by lauraaaaa)
    I think we all understand that feeling. I'm very confident in your ability to get through this. Always here if you want someone to chat too!
    Thanks for the offer. I often send PMs then forget to reply when I get a reply so I'm really not the best person at that

    How come you're up so late?


    (Original post by Jean-Luc Picard)
    oh okay, maybe see if one of them does emails? I know Samaritans do but you have to wait for a reply which I guess isn't ideal, though it might help to write things down? that sounds like a plan! hopefully they can help!

    no worries, don't want anyone in here falling off the edge that's for sure! people here are all far too nice for that! :hugs:
    That's actually a really good idea! I could email the British Samaritans :beard:

    I take it you haven't sorted out your sleep yet? Have you thought about asking for a referral to a sleep clinic? They might be able to work out what's going on and help you fix it.
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    (Original post by furryface12)
    I thought you might say that, but she would probably want to know so she can try to support you again? You're not failing her at all and I'm sure she wouldn't be disappointed- you're her son and she'll want to help you as much as she can.
    (Feeling slightly hypocritical saying this as my parents don't know anything about me and MH stuff, so feel free to ignore me!)
    Posted from TSR Mobile
    She's actually going on holiday for 2 weeks later this week, so I definitely can't tell her before then as I don't want to put a downer on her trip, But I will consider what you've said; you're probably right that she would want to know but I just feel like my brothers are so great, then there's me.

    How comes you haven't told your parents?
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    (Original post by furryface12)
    Yep
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    Good :hugs: Netflix is also good!



    Posted from TSR Mobile
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    Forgot how good the IT crowd is!


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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    She's actually going on holiday for 2 weeks later this week, so I definitely can't tell her before then as I don't want to put a downer on her trip, But I will consider what you've said; you're probably right that she would want to know but I just feel like my brothers are so great, then there's me.

    How comes you haven't told your parents?
    Hope she enjoys it! I think everyone probably feels like that about their siblings to a certain extent, but everyone's different and it's not your fault you're ill. I'm sure it doesn't make her care about you any less for it, or it shouldn't anyway.

    Just scared basically I really need to tell them and go to GP, but can't really get there without a lift and I don't want to worry them, they've got enough on at the minute.


    (Original post by Anonymous #2)
    Spoiler:
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    Forgot how good the IT crowd is!


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Never really got that film I think just films in general I struggle with, I just zone out and then wonder why I don't have a clue what's going on!


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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Thanks for the offer. I often send PMs then forget to reply when I get a reply so I'm really not the best person at that

    How come you're up so late?




    That's actually a really good idea! I could email the British Samaritans :beard:

    I take it you haven't sorted out your sleep yet? Have you thought about asking for a referral to a sleep clinic? They might be able to work out what's going on and help you fix it.
    That's okay, the offer is always there just been up chatting to some friends, probably gonna try and sleep soon!
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)

    That's actually a really good idea! I could email the British Samaritans :beard:

    I take it you haven't sorted out your sleep yet? Have you thought about asking for a referral to a sleep clinic? They might be able to work out what's going on and help you fix it.
    Hope it helps!

    It's still all over the place really, tired now though so gonna try and sleep at least! I might do yeah, waiting to hear back from my social worker atm cause I need them to refer to CMHT so they can review my meds for my GP, which is daft imo but apparently only way it can be done :unimpressed:


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    (Original post by furryface12)
    Never really got that film I think just films in general I struggle with, I just zone out and then wonder why I don't have a clue what's going on!

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    I'm watching the TV series, didn't know there was a film with the same name!

    I'm similar with films, it's got to be really really good to hold my attention

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    A friend pointed out that a lot of the time I makes jokes about how I'm feeling rather than actually dealing with how I feel and they're right. I don't know, I guess I do choose to be functional rather than deal with stuff a lot of the time but not sure I have much choice at the minute with uni. Also made me think about how long I'd been using humour as a defence mechanism and I can remember being the same when I started secondary school. Following that through at some point when I was a kid I learnt to not tell people how I was feeling for some reason. Which is rubbish since I'm pretty certain it annoys people. And isn't really helpful in the long run since it feels like it comes down to me not trusting people to not use what I tell them about how I'm feeling against me.
    The worrying trend of my posts on this thread to be sarcastic rather than sad probably shows this fairly well.
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    (Original post by Anonymous #2)
    I'm watching the TV series, didn't know there was a film with the same name!

    I'm similar with films, it's got to be really really good to hold my attention

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    There's not I don't think, I'm mixing it with something else Even so, TV shows have too many characters and I can never remember who they all are (well kind of same in films)- basically I'm just a disaster with watching stuff and have kind of given up even trying


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