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    Been feeling kinda depressed lately after returning home from my failure of a working holiday abroad. Its just another big disappointment and I'm kinda stuck on what to do next now, work/study/travel/etc wise. This world just feels too big too me and my mind is feeling scattered and exhausted. I'm wondering if it's worth trying to get therapy again, but my past experiences of trying have been off putting and I always find it difficult talking about my problems and seeking help for emotional issues.

    I also feel like a bit of a ******** now that I've found being in a relationship isnt preventing me from feeling depressed again like before, the relationship being probably one of the few good things that came out of my time travelling. I adore my boyfriend and am grateful for some of the confidence he has brought out in me, and i have told him a little bit about my issues, but I don't want to bombard him with everything or use him as an emotional crutch, nor put him off wanting to still be with me, especially as he already thinks I'm a bit of a weird person as it is and somehow puts up with it. It's also hard now that we're in a LDR, so I miss him horribly when we're apart and sometimes feel a bit lonely and down that I can't be with him more often.
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    i think im getting really worked up about this weekend.

    im really restless and having to force myself to drink aswell as eat.
    all i want to do is hide and sleep but i know i cant
    really feeling massively ****

    my brains just mashed pootato again, not done half the stuff im meant to, cant even face going back to the drs :cry2:
    got less support here than i had at uni and i cant cope
    no idea how many meds i have left either, iv just given up on being a human being for some reason
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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    i think im getting really worked up about this weekend.

    im really restless and having to force myself to drink aswell as eat.
    all i want to do is hide and sleep but i know i cant
    really feeling massively ****

    my brains just mashed pootato again, not done half the stuff im meant to, cant even face going back to the drs :cry2:
    got less support here than i had at uni and i cant cope
    no idea how many meds i have left either, iv just given up on being a human being for some reason
    BIG hugs!! :hugs: just take eating and drinking a bit at a time. You don't have to do it all in one sitting or anything so just do what you can when you can.
    You have your mum, your sister, your doctor and all of us! You are not alone and we all want you to be happy. We're all here for you.
    Try to get yourself over to the doc or just to phone them. It's all progress

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    (Original post by Kindred)
    BIG hugs!! :hugs: just take eating and drinking a bit at a time. You don't have to do it all in one sitting or anything so just do what you can when you can.
    You have your mum, your sister, your doctor and all of us! You are not alone and we all want you to be happy. We're all here for you.
    Try to get yourself over to the doc or just to phone them. It's all progress

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    thankyou. i just dont feel hungry or thirsty but i know i need to eat ready for this weekend

    i guess, i just dunno, i think i need to see my dr next week, cos i have 1 month of meds left i think, and im going away for atleast a month next week so ill be screwed if i run out

    i need to try eat now, but cba, but going out in an hour to go put some tents up in the rain, so i think i need energy to do it
    • #18
    #18

    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    i think im getting really worked up about this weekend.

    im really restless and having to force myself to drink aswell as eat.
    all i want to do is hide and sleep but i know i cant
    really feeling massively ****

    my brains just mashed pootato again, not done half the stuff im meant to, cant even face going back to the drs :cry2:
    got less support here than i had at uni and i cant cope
    no idea how many meds i have left either, iv just given up on being a human being for some reason
    Feeling restless sucks, I hate that! You got no one who can give you a hug to calm you down a bit? What helps me a bit is either doing some light exercise and/or drinking a hot chocolate, maybe try that, have a little hot chocolate see if you can drink that as a start?

    Have a big :hugs: from me!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Feeling restless sucks, I hate that! You got no one who can give you a hug to calm you down a bit? What helps me a bit is either doing some light exercise and/or drinking a hot chocolate, maybe try that, have a little hot chocolate see if you can drink that as a start?

    Have a big :hugs: from me!
    nope, home alone, and not seeing my boyfriend till next week
    cant have a hot chocolate cos we have no milk
    im just pacing round the house, but iv found a pasta bolagneise that im gonna have, its probably meant for my step dad, but i dont care
    • #18
    #18

    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    nope, home alone, and not seeing my boyfriend till next week
    cant have a hot chocolate cos we have no milk
    im just pacing round the house, but iv found a pasta bolagneise that im gonna have, its probably meant for my step dad, but i dont care
    Haha nice, have that! Anything in particular you feeling restless about that you wanna vent?
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    On verge of panic attack, trying to breathe but heart beating really fast. Dies someone know what to do

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    #18

    (Original post by FuzzySheep)
    On verge of panic attack, trying to breathe but heart beating really fast. Dies someone know what to do

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    Head between your knees is supposed to help!
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    (Original post by FuzzySheep)
    On verge of panic attack, trying to breathe but heart beating really fast. Dies someone know what to do

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    Sit down. Head between legs and breathe slow and deep. Don't worry about it. You will be fine. Just stay calm.


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    (Original post by asdfgah)
    Day 1 of work. Scared.

    It's a job I've had before so shouldn't be so anxious about it. Just remaining functional for a whole day seems hard.
    Hope you had an alright day and that I didn't distract you too much with pink things :p:


    (Original post by bullettheory)
    A lot of changes happening right now. Tomorrow I move to London, temporarily living at my girlfriends granny's house, but due to move into our own flat soon.

    Today I had a CPA and my team have decided to discharge me rather than refer me straight to the CMHT in London. Not sure how I feel about this as I still feel that I'm not "better". My CPN kept saying that I've been stable on my meds for ages now, when really, I've maybe had 6 weeks of stability, since in April/May I was in a crisis house and was sectioned by the police. So I'm not convinced. Plus I only ended up doing just over half of the DBT because I had to move, and DBT was my main treatment.

    I feel I should be happy for being discharged but I'm actually worried. I really can see myself relapsing when I move. I don't know if people understand how big the change is. I mean I'm moving to a place I don't know very well, where I don't know anyone (beside my gf, but she has her own life), im going to be struggling with money, I lose all my professional support (for the last year I've been going to the CMHT 3 times a week for various appointments), I will be staring a brand new course at uni, I will lose my only viable purpose (my volunteering) and I will be further from my family and friends. I don't know how I will cope with all that change, change usually messes me up, and its a LOT of change. Sigh. Just not sure. If I relapse, a lot of things will mess up. But I don't see how I can stop it, I'm not good enough on my own yet.

    Although I'm not alone, it just feels like I am completely alone now. Okay I have my girlfriend, but I can't completely rely on her, in the past, when that's happened, I've become clingy and the relationship fails.

    Anyway, sorry for the rant.


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    Did you try explaining your concerns to your care team and insist upon being referred to a London CMHT? Coz my psychiatrist tried to pull that discharging **** on me but I may or may not have had a slight ( :ninja: ) hissy fit about this :ninja:

    :jumphug:

    (Original post by avhhs)
    I'm such a pathetic, stupid person :cry2:

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    That girl I mentioned yesterday, I really like her and have had a crush on her on more than one occasion in the past. Today I was hoping to dance with her. For ages I've wondered if something is going on between her and a boy as I've seen them two together a lot in the past. I had never seen them being intimate but today I did. This made me feel so bad for gone reason, I really wanted to cry because of that. Why do I have to ****ing feel like this? I shouldn't be thinking about her really as she has other stuff to get on with anyway. I'm someone who doesn't deserve anything so why am I thinking about a girl who has been very successful? Once I saw them being a bit intimate I stopped attempting to dance with her. But why the hell do I still have feelings for her? I know she is extremely beautiful but I shouldn't be thinking about her like that because I know she doesn't feel the same. I should be happy for both of them but instead I'm feeling bad about it. I should just shut up, I'm just getting myself into a mess here.


    :cry:

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    Your feelings are natural - don't beat yourself up about it. Everyone wants someone they can't have. It's just the way the world seems to work :sadnod: I'm sorry this girl is unavailable. Just try being kind to yourself, OK? :console:


    (Original post by FuzzySheep)
    I keep thinking about my sister not being here anymore, i cant stop having panic attacks, i feel so weak, how am i supposed to get over this? she's looking happy and smiling today like normal and i cant even face her, she told my mum she thinks i'm angry with her but its more everytime i even think about her i cry, i cant look at her without overwhelming guilt and shame and crying and thats not what she needs right now right? im a bad bad bad sister, i got her here and i don't know how to get her out
    Hun, this is NOT your fault, I repeat, NOT your fault :jumphug:
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    About to go to my ex boyfriends to swap our stuff back. ****ty. I'm so nervous about seeing him and his family. Urgh.
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    (Original post by octoberbaby)
    About to go to my ex boyfriends to swap our stuff back. ****ty. I'm so nervous about seeing him and his family. Urgh.
    Awww good luck Hun. It will be fine. Just think once this is done that's it, no need to ever see him again :hugs:


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    Hi guys, I've been feeling kind of down and depressed lately, I finished college a week ago and have 10 weeks until I go back & I find myself with nothing to do and so I just keep digging myself a bigger hole to live in. My routine is the same everyday, wake up late because I don't feel tired until early morning, eat junk food, mull around on my phone, feed my dog, go on my computer, have my tea, then spend the rest of the day/night bored on my computer.
    This was more or less the same whilst I was at college too except I was forced to wake up early so my sleep routine wasn't messed up.
    My social life is non-existent beyond 2 friends I skype with daily, I 'very' occasionally chat to some old highschool friends but I can't make plans as I have no money, I live in a low income area so a job is hard to come by and I've tried everywhere. I log on facebook and see all my friends are out having a good time partying, going out whatever and just end up feeling worthless, as well as constantly tired despite my sleep.
    I have no idea how to get out of this nightmarish cycle as I've been the person who noone really likes hanging around with, mainly because I can't hold a conversation and frankly don't like getting drunk every weekend, the very small group of friends I have at college is only a result of the other people initiating the friendship by speaking to me as I find myself anxious and nothing to say.

    Any ideas guys? Cheers
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    i know fine well im gonna be a mess this weekend

    been up tonight to put tents up, and managed to hold it together, but theres so many people going to be there i dont even know whats happening when, i may just have to spend some time hiding over the weekend


    just keep going into my own world again with no idea what anyones saying, really dont like it
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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    i know fine well im gonna be a mess this weekend

    been up tonight to put tents up, and managed to hold it together, but theres so many people going to be there i dont even know whats happening when, i may just have to spend some time hiding over the weekend


    just keep going into my own world again with no idea what anyones saying, really dont like it
    :hugs: sorry you're feeling low, can you maybe try and distract yourself with the people you're seeing this weekend? You can perhaps try and find a quiet place to clear your head if it gets too much, I don't know where you are so I guess it depends on what's happening

    When I keep drifting off and losing track of conversations, I always blame lack of sleep for it. People stop asking questions and they tend to leave you alone so you can have some "quiet time". maybe that would help?

    Hope you're feeling a bit better soon, the rain isn't really helping here :grouphugs:
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    (Original post by Meaty_man)
    Best of luck! Im sure it will go a lot better than you expect :hugs:

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    Thanks, it went ok. Quite boring but there are far worse things than being bored, especially when you're being paid for it. I'm just so relieved that I'm well enough to do it atm, it's been a long time coming. Only doing three days a week but still reckon it's character building, and the money is helpful.

    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Hope you had an alright day and that I didn't distract you too much with pink things
    You didn't distract me at all.

    ----

    Feeling kind of vulnerable tonight and hating myself for it. Don't really want to say more here because I'm sure I'm recognisable and it slightly exposes me for being a complete ******** and being scared of people that I shouldn't be scared of. Wish I had a lock on my door at home though. Want to feel safe and I'm so ****ing angry with myself because I should feel safe. I have no reason to be scared by someone who has never done anything to hurt me, and it feels like I'm throwing everything positive that they have done for me back in their face by feeling this way.

    Went for a run, and that was kind of helpful. Seem to be doing a slow 5K every couple of days atm, which is decent enough I guess. But I want to run more and I can't because if I go all in too fast I end up injured and having to do less intense exercise and that's no fun. Need to build up slowly and I need to feel safe enough not to want to run away. **** this. I want to have a bath and I'm scared of being that vulnerable even though there is a lock on the bathroom door and nobody here wants to hurt me. I'm such a **** :cry2:
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    (Original post by JollyEnglishman)
    Hi guys, I've been feeling kind of down and depressed lately, I finished college a week ago and have 10 weeks until I go back & I find myself with nothing to do and so I just keep digging myself a bigger hole to live in. My routine is the same everyday, wake up late because I don't feel tired until early morning, eat junk food, mull around on my phone, feed my dog, go on my computer, have my tea, then spend the rest of the day/night bored on my computer.
    This was more or less the same whilst I was at college too except I was forced to wake up early so my sleep routine wasn't messed up.
    My social life is non-existent beyond 2 friends I skype with daily, I 'very' occasionally chat to some old highschool friends but I can't make plans as I have no money, I live in a low income area so a job is hard to come by and I've tried everywhere. I log on facebook and see all my friends are out having a good time partying, going out whatever and just end up feeling worthless, as well as constantly tired despite my sleep.
    I have no idea how to get out of this nightmarish cycle as I've been the person who noone really likes hanging around with, mainly because I can't hold a conversation and frankly don't like getting drunk every weekend, the very small group of friends I have at college is only a result of the other people initiating the friendship by speaking to me as I find myself anxious and nothing to say.

    Any ideas guys? Cheers
    Sorry to hear you've been feeling so rubbish. It sounds like shaking up your routine in some way might be a good idea. A job would be a good way to do this but they're hard to come by, especially without much experience - how old are you? I'm guessing from the fact you're at college 17ish? If so, maybe volunteering this summer could help you get a job in future, if you go to uni or want a gap year etc. I've found voluntary work quite easy to come by where I live, and should be starting in the next few weeks (Fingers crossed!) I don't know what you're interested in but maybe something creative like writing, drawing, music could help or something active if you prefer that.

    How long have you been feeling like this? If it's an ongoing thing I would think about seeing the GP or a counsellor at your college to give you more support and help you feel less worthless and anxious etc.

    Hope that's of some help Remember we're here for you on this thread if you need us!
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
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    Your feelings are natural - don't beat yourself up about it. Everyone wants someone they can't have. It's just the way the world seems to work :sadnod: I'm sorry this girl is unavailable. Just try being kind to yourself, OK? :console:
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    Thanks I'm feeling better today, although I have to try hard not to think about her. Can't believe it. For some reason I want to ask her if anything is actually going on between them . I guess I should look at the bright side by thinking that I did the right thing by giving them space to be alone :yep:


    How are you doing today? :hugs:

    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    i know fine well im gonna be a mess this weekend

    been up tonight to put tents up, and managed to hold it together, but theres so many people going to be there i dont even know whats happening when, i may just have to spend some time hiding over the weekend


    just keep going into my own world again with no idea what anyones saying, really dont like it
    What is the tent for? Good luck for the weekend! :hugs:
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    (Original post by Messalina)
    :hugs: sorry you're feeling low, can you maybe try and distract yourself with the people you're seeing this weekend? You can perhaps try and find a quiet place to clear your head if it gets too much, I don't know where you are so I guess it depends on what's happening

    When I keep drifting off and losing track of conversations, I always blame lack of sleep for it. People stop asking questions and they tend to leave you alone so you can have some "quiet time". maybe that would help?

    Hope you're feeling a bit better soon, the rain isn't really helping here :grouphugs:
    i can a bit, but will most likely be overwhelmed, and just want to run away...
    its a girlguiding festival, i can get somewhere quiet, but also need to be around to look after the unit im with...

    mines lack of sleep, lack of concentration, and just generally blanking out, my vision goes blurry and i lose track of the world...

    thanks, yeah this weather is horrible

    (Original post by avhhs)
    What is the tent for? Good luck for the weekend! :hugs:
    im going to a big guiding festival this weekend for about 300 people...
 
 
 
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