Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

How has mental illness affected your life? Watch

    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    I remember one time when I went to my GP and she asked to see my arm so I showed her and she dismissed it as being little scratches. She was quite patronising as well. She asked really personal questions like what did I use etc. That was the first time I went to the doctor about self harm. Second time the doctor gave me a link to a self help website that he 'thought' was still running. Right. Cause that helps me so much... Doctors can be such ******** sometimes...
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I spent ages typing out a post about how depression and anorexia have affected my life and the post got lost. :cry:
    But depression= people telling me to 'snap out of it' and people calling me lazy because I burst into tears at the sight of a sink full of washing up (amongst other things) because it looks too hard to do. When it gets to the point I can't cry, I'm not functioning and I'm probably deeply entrenched in my anorexia, so am not sleeping, not eating, not going to school and will be hospitalised in a while.

    Anorexia= doctors telling me it should be easy for me to get better because I haven't been ill for like 5+ years but it's coming up to 2 now and I still feel like ****. Fighting the urge to kill yourself is even more hard when you hate yourself for every mouthful of food you put into your fat worthless body. My parents make it harder by asking me what I've eaten/if I've eaten. It's winter, which is bringing on 'What the **** are you doing? Stop eating! STOP EATING!' thoughts because I was (apparently) very ill this time last year but all I remember was weighing less and feeling dizzy. I'm scared of all the new year diet talk which is triggering as **** because the cultural message is basically 'Eaten too much over Christmas? Lose weight!' and I think that applies to me. Right now I'm fighting the urge to OD on laxatives/painkillers/both because I've just had a plate of chips and I can't stand the guilt. I just basically hate myself more than I did when I was 'just' depressed. And anorexia makes it easier for me to hurt myself because it's made me pretty used to physical pain. Oh and because my perfectionism isn't 'really' being directed into starving myself anymore (:sad:) it's basically destroying my life because I hate myself for being a **** anorexic and not doing it properly and actually dying, I hate myself for eating 'too much', I hate myself for not losing weight and I hate myself for not being able to start essays and revision because I'm scared it won't be perfect and that I'll fail anyway. But I'm going to fail if I don't start. I NEED straight As in the same way I need to eat less than X calories a day and because I'm not restricting I feel like I'm going to fail my A levels because not only am I 'fat' without anorexia (It needs to be stamped on my forehead that I'm not actually fat!), I'm also stupid. Struggling at the moment. I do have a treatment team but apparently I'm supposed to be fine until January.
    Really sorry to hear that. The first paragraph especially. It's awful when everything seems hopeless. Hope you have a good day soon
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Perhaps this might be of interest to you.
    Maverick Television are making a new documentary series for ITV looking into young people’s mental and emotional health.

    Are you or is someone in your family under 18 and struggling?
    Do you suffer from trichotillomania?
    Do you have mood swings?
    Are you developing a repetitive or obsessive habit that’s worrying you?

    The new ITV documentary series will follow courageous young people as they receive the help and care of mental and emotional health experts. If you would like more information please email [email protected] or call 0207 874 6694.
    If you are under 18 please seek the consent of your parent or guardian before contacting.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Youre all idiots, don't take yourself so seriously.i used to have horrific ocd and never thought I would be normal but I am so screw you ocd. Trust me be strong ppl you can win.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I had undiagnosed depression for nearly 3 years til last May when I plucked up the courage to go to the Docs.
    I'm now on medication and have been since May. I changed to Venlafaxine a few months back and I can honestly say life is now looking up. For the first time in 4 years I'm excited about the future, and I realise now Depression is an obstacle in life that yes, I may have to still face for a while, but now I'm more stable and on a good medication.
    Also, I have offers from University, which would not have happened if I had not been to the Docs.

    I'm so glad I went now, and I'm looking forward to hopefully going to Uni in September
    • PS Reviewer
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    A bit of positivity from my end: had a quite serious psychotic episode and had to take time off work. I summoned up the courage to tell the colleagues in my department that I have mental health issues and got lots of very supportive messages and was told to take all the time I need off from work. When my boss comes back from America, I'm going to ring her and see whether we can find a way of slowly reintegrating me back into work
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ~Tasha~)
    I had undiagnosed depression for nearly 3 years til last May when I plucked up the courage to go to the Docs.
    I'm now on medication and have been since May. I changed to Venlafaxine a few months back and I can honestly say life is now looking up. For the first time in 4 years I'm excited about the future, and I realise now Depression is an obstacle in life that yes, I may have to still face for a while, but now I'm more stable and on a good medication.
    Also, I have offers from University, which would not have happened if I had not been to the Docs.

    I'm so glad I went now, and I'm looking forward to hopefully going to Uni in September
    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    A bit of positivity from my end: had a quite serious psychotic episode and had to take time off work. I summoned up the courage to tell the colleagues in my department that I have mental health issues and got lots of very supportive messages and was told to take all the time I need off from work. When my boss comes back from America, I'm going to ring her and see whether we can find a way of slowly reintegrating me back into work
    Congrats to both of you! It's so nice to see some good news, in place of everyone suffering and feeling like ****.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ****sSonsFriend)
    Youre all idiots, don't take yourself so seriously.i used to have horrific ocd and never thought I would be normal but I am so screw you ocd. Trust me be strong ppl you can win.
    Thanks for that. Everyone in this thread now all cured.

    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by laut_biru)
    Congrats to both of you! It's so nice to see some good news, in place of everyone suffering and feeling like ****.

    Thankyou
    It's been bloody hard though, but I guess in life people have to go through hard times to find the good times!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ~Tasha~)
    Thankyou
    It's been bloody hard though, but I guess in life people have to go through hard times to find the good times!
    You should be proud of yourself. It can be hard to face up to needing help especially for this sort of thing and you managed it. Not only that, but you seem to have really turned your life around.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by laut_biru)
    You should be proud of yourself. It can be hard to face up to needing help especially for this sort of thing and you managed it. Not only that, but you seem to have really turned your life around.
    Thankyou!
    I'm just hoping it stays this way really!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Little_My)
    Thanks for that. Everyone in this thread now all cured.

    Surely the fact that I never thought I would be normal again and actually am fine now proves it was nothing to worry about.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ****sSonsFriend)
    Surely the fact that I never thought I would be normal again and actually am fine now proves it was nothing to worry about.
    In your case. Which, whilst good for you, has no bearing on anyone else here, and as such is not in any way helpful, especially for people who really are struggling.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ****sSonsFriend)
    Youre all idiots, don't take yourself so seriously.i used to have horrific ocd and never thought I would be normal but I am so screw you ocd. Trust me be strong ppl you can win.
    Sure thing. You'd think that someone with experience of something like that would be a little more sympathetic to those who are currently seeking help. Very rare that you can just beat something so deeply ingrained in your thought processes with sheer willpower.
    • #45
    #45

    I finally went to my doctor just over a year and a half ago now as I thought i'd been suffering from social anxiety/depression. I'd noticed something wasn't quite right early in my teens when I'd find it extremely uncomfortable in school to be with anyone other than my best friend. For instance, in the morning before school my bus would get there much earlier than any of my 'friends' (more my best friend's friends). Anyway I was scared of being interpreted as this kind of loner so I'd actually go into the girls' changing rooms and hide in a cubicle to wait until the registration bell rang (unless others people came into the changing rooms then I'd usually have to leave for fear of being found).

    Years pass and I don't really engage in any relationships (I'd like the attention of a boy liking me but as soon as they made any attempt of 'asking me out' then I'd try to put them off me). I'd try to think of excuses not to go out on the weekends cause I was preoccupied with what I'd have to wear etc. My friends were very different to me (confident, wore fashionable clothes, very attractive - they were very much the 'in' group) and I'd always feel like the odd one out.

    In sixth form, things took a turn for the worse. I'd cry a lot. Nobody really noticed but I'd become severely shy. I'd hate to walk into the common room for fear of everybody looking at me (would NEVER do it on my own). People never approached me, even less so than before. I'd become detached from my best friend and I'd always feel non existent when walking around with that group of friends I'd briefly mentioned earlier. I would just basically 'gel' within the group but never say much at all. They'd talk about their nights out and I would just fade into the background and hope they wouldn't question me on one of my excuses. Eventually, they stopped asking me out. I was self harming by this time and when anyone mentioned anything about me not going out in an accusational way I'd get very upset.

    However, throughout most of my years at the school i'd met a boy who was nice and we got on okay. I used to like him when I was around 13 and I was never quite sure of my true feelings for him throughout the whole of school (he'd liked many other girls, especially my best friend). In sixth form, I knew he liked me. I just didn't want a relationship at all. It was the last thing on my mind and because of that I just wasn't attracted to him (not sure if you'll understand that bit - even I don't fully). He became my best friend but when he'd start flirting with me, I'd go a bit 'cold' to try to make him get the message. I really liked him as a friend though and we got along ever so well so it was a tough job - I knew people were telling him, 'she's leading you on, move on'.

    I realised I couldn't go to university the following year. It was just not an option. I knew I'd be terrified of all these new people but I had no clue what to do for the year (perhaps seeing a doctor was in the back of my mind). So you can imagine, I had no friends other than the one guy friend but he'd started university (though locally) and I was drifting away. I went on job seeker's allowance for virtually the whole year and began seeing someone about depression. I'd been doing some CBT and tried a few types of medication (none of which seemed to do anything at all, other than give me side effects) so I got off them.

    My friend called me halfway through my 'gap' year. He said he'd gotten a girlfriend, and he'd chosen to tell me last. It took me by surprise though I didn't show it but as soon as the call ended I just burst into tears. I think it made me realise that I'd actually liked this boy for a long time, like some kind of wakeup call. I was fighting with myself whether to tell him (maybe I would ruin his relationship, I might change my mind, maybe I just felt a bit jealous?) but I did after a few weeks. Long story short, we got together.

    That was exactly a year ago now, and we're still together. There have been many bumps along the way (due to me being ridiculously insecure) and it's been tough but he's helped me so much. He gives me the confidence to go out (i'd easily go for months without leaving the house other than for CBT and dole sign-ons). I'm at university (commuting) at the minute and am finding it great! Also have a job But I am so scared that if we finish, i'd go back to how I was before, to being a recluse basically. I only have him and it makes me nervous when he goes out with all his other friends that he'll find another girl who is much more likeable/laid-back.

    I still feel very uncomfortable when walking down busy streets on my own (as though everyone is looking at me etc., most of you probably relate to this). I had one very tough moment a week or so ago when I went to my boyfriend's family party (knew from the start it would be a challenge). Before we even reached the store I said I couldn't do it, but we went inside and he introduced me to this longgg line of people he knew (all at once! we were late). It was all quite overwhelming and I quickly asked him where the toilets were (I basically locked myself in the toilet for 10-15 mins to cry). I went out and went to his table but just started crying again and quickly went outside the front door (felt like such an idiot!). He told me to calm down and we went back in. Felt like I ruined his night really, he didn't leave my side all the time.

    Seems a bit like a life story to me so I'm not sure how well it relates to the thread title but I hope it goes to show that things can change for the better and even though some aspects may just be in our personalities, we're not destined for unhappiness and things don't have to be that way forever. I know my post was a lot of gloom but I didn't really mention any good points of the last 12 months (and there were many )
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    I don't know if I've ever been depressed - some of the stories told here are severe in comparison. I think I must've just went through a good few rough patches.

    There's nothing that's elicited my depressive phases - they come and go really. But if I compare myself to the way I used to be, I can no longer relate to that person. Don't get me wrong, I have never really been happy; always feeling lonely and feeling isolated from people, not really knowing how to respond and getting bullied from every angle in primary and secondary. Sure, it lowered my confidence, but I was still full of energy, full of determination to prove people wrong.

    I done myself justice. Got good grades etc; that is until I hit uni. I felt like an idiot compared to those people - the knowledge they possessed, the general intelligence. I always had to work for my grades and now I couldn't be bothered. Started not caring, receiving nags from every direction, people asking how things were going, giving them this pretentious act when I wasn't happy. Went clubbing with friends regularly, eating crap, not caring about my general appearance etc.

    I failed the year, teeth & gums deterioating. It's **** and not reversible. Every day waking up feeling like a failure and lying through the back of my teeth. I used to have guilt marked across my face, but now I have a blank face. Getting good at lying and lying without feeling guilt.

    I know you'll all think this is nothing compared to your problems, but it has affected me badly. Sometimes I don't feel anything, but I have random teary outbursts and keep thinking the what ifs, dwelling in the past. I'm so infatuated with this guy, have done for 5 years, but can't even bring myself to meet him in person because this obsession I possess with my teeth. Look at them at least 5 times a day, spent about £100 in useless products and about £400 going for useless private consultations.

    I have gained confidence through work, but don't really go out with friends anymore. I cover my mouth and attempt to breathe through my nose even though I can only breathe through my mouth, just because of this paranoia I have for my teeth. My mum goes insane. I try and not associate myself with people who are successful, because in a way I resent them and cannot get "back on the game" as I once yearned - to have a good career, have a marriage, good talents, loving family.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by converselove)
    I'm sorry but the way I see 'social' would be people self harming in groups. It's a solitary thing therefore it isn't social. The methods aren't limited. There are hundreds of different ways to self harm. And I don't tell people about it because it is influenced by society. I tell certain people because I trust them and they care about me and they help.
    There's a social aspect to self-harming. Fact..

    Think of it like this - If, since before you were born, people were dealing with depression by going for a mile long jog instead. Imagine this was the norm, and noone knew of, or had ever 'self harmed' either physically, or mentally. Imagine that every time someone was going to self-harm in any way whatsoever - said self-harming was replaced with a mile long jog. Ever since before you were born. So now, when you feel depressed, would you self harm? No, because it'd never been done before and you had never heard of it and so would never even consider it. By that, we can deduce that self harming is in fact, a societal influence. For example, if you were aware that a family member had been 'hearing voices', you'd want to 'help' that person, by seeking medical attention, and in turn hope that these voices would soon stop. But in a completely different cultural setting, such as one in an African tribe (no racism intended - just an example), hearing voices would be seen as a positive thing. The person hearing the voices would be seen to have some kind of 'gift' and would looked up to, rather than looked down upon by his/her society.

    That's what I mean by 'social', which I'm sure you already knew, but just wanted to be immature about it. But if you really did think that 'social' just means doing thing in groups, then I'd say depression is the least of your problems (in the society in which I assume you live - a western and first world one).
    • #14
    #14

    (Original post by Unoriginal-)
    There's a social aspect to self-harming. Fact..

    Think of it like this - If, since before you were born, people were dealing with depression by going for a mile long jog instead. Imagine this was the norm, and noone knew of, or had ever 'self harmed' either physically, or mentally. Imagine that every time someone was going to self-harm in any way whatsoever - said self-harming was replaced with a mile long jog. Ever since before you were born. So now, when you feel depressed, would you self harm? No, because it'd never been done before and you had never heard of it and so would never even consider it. By that, we can deduce that self harming is in fact, a societal influence. For example, if you were aware that a family member had been 'hearing voices', you'd want to 'help' that person, by seeking medical attention, and in turn hope that these voices would soon stop. But in a completely different cultural setting, such as one in an African tribe (no racism intended - just an example), hearing voices would be seen as a positive thing. The person hearing the voices would be seen to have some kind of 'gift' and would looked up to, rather than looked down upon by his/her society.

    That's what I mean by 'social', which I'm sure you already knew, but just wanted to be immature about it. But if you really did think that 'social' just means doing thing in groups, then I'd say depression is the least of your problems (in the society in which I assume you live - a western and first world one).
    People don't self harm because that's how others deal with it. Do you really think that people think, 'Oh I have depression. What to do? Oh I know, I'll self harm because that's what everyone else does.' People self harm because they feel release from doing it. They feel it's easier to focus on the physical pain of self harming compared to whatever thoughts they have in their minds. Not everyone with depression self harms. Cultural differences have nothing to do with self harming. Yes it does with the approach to those hearing voices, but that is irrelevant to the reasons for self harm.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Unoriginal-)
    There's a social aspect to self-harming. Fact..
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    People don't self harm because that's how others deal with it. Do you really think that people think, 'Oh I have depression. What to do? Oh I know, I'll self harm because that's what everyone else does.' People self harm because they feel release from doing it. They feel it's easier to focus on the physical pain of self harming compared to whatever thoughts they have in their minds. Not everyone with depression self harms. Cultural differences have nothing to do with self harming. Yes it does with the approach to those hearing voices, but that is irrelevant to the reasons for self harm.
    To a certain extent, I agree with both of your arguments. Obviously people feel that there's a release from harming themselves and that is how they cope with their stability/their impacted life.

    However, I think culture has some sort of influence, even if people are not aware of it. It's kind of like alcoholism - people abuse alcohol as a way of releasing their anxienties or they're generally depressed and becomes a vicious circle. The same applies to smoking and drugs.

    The main point I think that this guy is trying to make is that people are surrounded by the knowledge that people do self harm and they find this is a way of dealing with their stresses or are in crappy situations. This could lead people into the way of thinking that self harming is a way of dealing with their problems.

    You hear about depression a lot more in today's society than you have probably in later years. I don't know whether it is because people kept things hidden behind closed doors and this has always been the case, but there's definitely an increase in self harming - even some of my friends have done this, so maybe this is subconciously affecting the thoughts that people have with dealing with feelings too hard to deal with. Interesting topic.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    hmm i think that i suffer from depression and anxiety i havent been to the dr to get diagnosed but i do something distructive to try and cope... frankly im afraid to go to the dr and them confirming that im going crazy
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: September 4, 2011
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Will you be richer or poorer than your parents?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.