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Would anyone else not want their gf to give them a bj? watch

    • #1
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    #1

    ok, so now you all agree its degrading? Thats a turn....
    (Original post by dogtanian)
    Is degredation necessarily a bad thing?
    in my opinion, definatly. I said a while ago it could symbolise the sacrifice the girl makes to please her partner, but i said i just wouldnt want her to make that sacrifice...
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    (Original post by Profesh)
    It is empowering, which might I suppose be construed as 'degradation by proxy'. However, the moral aspect is purely speculative.
    thats only if you dont want to think about what you are doing...seeing the act as degrading, i wouldnt want my girlfriend to do it...
    • #12
    #12

    I don't find it degrading at all, infact I think its quite empowering
    Me and my boyfriend have had this conversation. At first, when I considered performing this sort of sexual act, you would think the degradation was all one way, but if you think about it, there is an element of trust in being allowed to do it and it does put you in a powerful position. Clearly this is in the context of a stable relationship, I couldn't comment on a more casual basis.
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    #6

    One thing that must be considered is the age if the OP. I remember, at 13 or 14, when sex was fairly new to people, considering girls who gave head as slightly 'slutty'. Now at 18, I woul consider it the absolute norm for people in a committed relationship to be performing oral sex upon one another. I look round at school and see many girls who hae given oral sex, in no way at all do I consider it to be a reflection on their personalities or that they are at all degraded.

    Oral sex can only be degrading if the people involve allow it to be degrading. My girlfriend and I regularly partake in oral sex (she swallows); but I don't look at her in any lesser way at all because of this, in fact, it raises my opinion of her, as she is not afraid to do things that many people would consider disgusting or degrading and that she doesn't let it degrade her.

    I don't think of any of the girls with whom I hae had sexual experience as degraded; I think that the posters earlier claiming that guys like to see girls degraded are being grossly unfair and generalising hugely.

    Theres my two cents.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ok, so now you all agree its degrading? Thats a turn....


    in my opinion, definatly. I said a while ago it could symbolise the sacrifice the girl makes to please her partner, but i said i just wouldnt want her to make that sacrifice...
    No, I said earlier on that on a base, 'game' level, it's degrading. But that's only because I can't think of the right word that has less of a negative connotation.


    It isn't a bad thing thing in my opinion. It's something that only happens for me in a close and committed relationship. And there's a mutual understanding involved with it. You don't find that sort of thing interests you, and maybe you'd even go as far as to say it disgusts you to even think of your girlfriend doing that. But it isn't the case with me or my ex. It was just part of our sex life..
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    My two penneth.

    I don't see it as degrading. It is only degrading when the person doesn't want to or feel comfortable doing it.
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    The fact is this argument is pointless

    The matter of whether we find oral/sex degrading, is all subjective. One person believes it is, another doesn't. Those 2 people will never agree, however in that instance one will never be right and the other wrong in society's point of view as all opinions differ.

    I do not think it's degrding. Anon and Pretty Boy do. If they choose to believe what i do is degrading, ok thats their opinon but it'd be narrow minded to assume the world thinks the same. Likewise it'd be narrow minded if i start saying no-one thinks its degrading.

    I think its must rely to an extent on your morals and upbringings. If you have been brought up t believe "the penis is a dirty thing" and that sex is a shamful, degrading act-that's what you believe unless you choose otherwise. Likewise those of us brought up in a more liberal sense (or at least one where degredation and shame and sex were never brought in as connected) we are unlikley yo believe as such.

    I think it's best here to agree to disagree, as we will never get to the point where one opinion fits all.

    So please someone just close this....or move it to D&D where it'd be more fitting..
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    I don't, and never have, thought of oral sex (given or received) to be degarding in the slightest. It's an intimate act that 2 people choose to do. It's all down to preference too. My friend hates the idea of been "gave" a 'blow job', so his girlfriend doesn't do it. Where as my boyfriend really enjoys it when I do it...

    Simple as.
    • #1
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    yep i always knew people just varied in their opinions about this, wasnt looking for a debate ~ not much to talk about, shoulld really have started a poll instead~~and anon6 im 17 edging 18.
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    wow, what a mentalist
    • #11
    #11

    (Original post by xXMessedUpXx)
    I do not think it's degrding. Anon and Pretty Boy do. If they choose to believe what i do is degrading, ok thats their opinon but it'd be narrow minded to assume the world thinks the same. Likewise it'd be narrow minded if i start saying no-one thinks its degrading.
    It's from a standard male point of view. Of course many guys will deviate from that.
    It's like saying "most girls will not want to piss on a guy". Sure, some people will do it but there is a common view of the act itself.

    I think its must rely to an extent on your morals and upbringings. If you have been brought up t believe "the penis is a dirty thing" and that sex is a shamful, degrading act-that's what you believe unless you choose otherwise. Likewise those of us brought up in a more liberal sense (or at least one where degredation and shame and sex were never brought in as connected) we are unlikley yo believe as such.
    I was brought up in a much more liberal culture than any of you so that argument falls flat on its face.

    Saying that a boy is told that "the penis is a dirty thing" and that sex is shameful are two totally different things and you're misinterpreting this. Have you never seen a 4 year old boy being brought up? He has to be told litterally not to take his penis out, not to touch it in public. Are you telling me that social standards let people touch their penis in public? In a primary school, if a kid touches his penis in class, the teacher is supposed to say "dirty boy". It's just a necessary part of upbringing.

    Maybe it's because this is male psychology that you don't quite get this but because of this, boys learn that that part of them is "private", "intimate" and somewhat "dirty".

    Some people seem to have understood the word "degrading" properly. It's not in a negative "oh my god she's a whore" sense. With this upbringing, of course boys are going to be surprised that you are willing to put his most intimate part of his body in YOUR mouth.

    Why do you think guys are willing to let a girl swallow yet suggest to them to swallow it and they'll be repulsed?

    It's only degrading when you actually think of the act itself. Within a healthy long-term relationship, none of this matters but on a one-night stand or in casual sex, it's a whole other story and this misunderstanding is often why some girls don't quite understand why guys see them a certain way after sex...

    Of course a guy will rarely tell you that he finds it a bit slutty (but isn't that part of the excitement?) especially the kind of guy who just wants to have a bit of fun and move on to the next girl (i.e. not the committing type).
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    This is just another one of those issues where the girl doesn't want to hear the other side (i.e. how a male views it) and chooses to ignore it because it is too close to home.
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    (Original post by Pretty Boy)
    This is just another one of those issues where the girl doesn't want to hear the other side (i.e. how a male views it) and chooses to ignore it because it is too close to home.
    You can't honestly be saying every guy in the world agrees with you're point of view? And seeing as some women have agreed with you you're sexist argument isn't really holding up...
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    (Original post by xXMessedUpXx)
    You can't honestly be saying every guy in the world agrees with you're point of view? And seeing as some women have agreed with you you're sexist argument isn't really holding up...
    I didn't say EVERY male agrees. Obviously there is going to be some that don't - but generally it is my belief that is how males view it. Why do you think guys tell people to 'suck my ****' as an insult? its a degrading thing.

    Its got nothing to do with sexism. I'm not sexist and I'm sorry you felt you had to bring it into the topic.

    Edit: btw, i don't think its a big problem as long as its kept between two people.
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    i could tell someone to "go **** themselves" but that doesn't always mean masturbation is degrading...
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    (Original post by x.narb.x)
    I always tell my friends everything, including total number of strokes taken before orgasm, total minutes of foreplay, wetness on a scale of 1-10, tightness on a scale of pint glass to pin head, and *** shot distance in metres.
    Me too My friends love to know, they take a great interest in my sex life :eek:
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    (Original post by red_roadkill)
    Me too My friends love to know, they take a great interest in my sex life :eek:
    I think [nay, hope] that narb was joking!! ^o)
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    I'd say the person giving oral sex has more power. I think in certain situations, such as if a person was being forced to do it, it'd be degrading, but so would sex and lots of other things. If I went to give a blow job and the person refused, I would be pretty insulted, obviously I don't mean any random person, but during foreplay. And as for people giving me oral sex, it's just great, I think people that refuse are really missing out.
    • #1
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    woah, this still hasnt finished... :/ i really should have done a poll
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    (Original post by -x-buttercup-x-)
    I'd say the person giving oral sex has more power.
    My mates used to laugh about a girl who thought this in the halls at their uni (not mine). All the guys used to get what they wanted and she thought she was powerful. Guess everyone was a winner, right?
 
 
 
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