syrettd
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Hey Lily, a couple of weeks ago I read about a woman who said she was of a group of people who have something which is basically like being trans except instead of believing they were born the wrong sex, they believe they should have been born disabled. In the case of this woman she became obsessed with a relative's leg braces as a kid and now lives in a wheelchair not using her legs, and trying to find a surgeon who will cut the nerves to her legs. I just wondered what your thoughts were on all this? As someone who had a nerve cut accidentally in a biopsy a few weeks ago and now finds it difficult to use one of my arms, thinking back to this story makes me a little sad/angry at why someone would choose this pain I'm in, or envy me for it.
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fallen_acorns
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#322
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(Original post by syrettd)
Hey Lily, a couple of weeks ago I read about a woman who said she was of a group of people who have something which is basically like being trans except instead of believing they were born the wrong sex, they believe they should have been born disabled. In the case of this woman she became obsessed with a relative's leg braces as a kid and now lives in a wheelchair not using her legs, and trying to find a surgeon who will cut the nerves to her legs. I just wondered what your thoughts were on all this? As someone who had a nerve cut accidentally in a biopsy a few weeks ago and now finds it difficult to use one of my arms, thinking back to this story makes me a little sad/angry at why someone would choose this pain I'm in, or envy me for it.
I think the key thing to remember(to try and save getting upset), when looking at people like that - especially under your circumstances, is that what they have (i foget the name..) - is very much a mental illness. - in effect they are not choosing to have the pain your in, but suffer from a condition which makes them believe that it is what they want..

It does have bad knock on effects to trans peopel though.. often they are used as an exsample of why we are wrong/crazy/imoral - and our sugeries are compared to self-mutilation..

This all came to head quite a lot last year, when by chance, there happened to be someone who both suffered from this - and was trans..

Its an unfortuntae state to be in though - and I do feel for anyone who feels that the only way they cna lead a full and proper life is by damaging a part of their body
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Id and Ego seek
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(Original post by fallen_acorns)
Oh god yes!

its often hard to convey to people what its like to have strangers think is apropriate to ask questions about whats between your legs.. - or friends think its perfectly fine to openly discuss it in a public place.. -- as its something most people would find utterly wierd/stupid.. but for a trans person it can be common place..

- same goes for romantic connections.. - its dead easy to get casual sex as a trans women.. - as there are a ton of guys out there with fetishes for trans women.. 'chasers' as they are dubbed.. -- but its very hard to get a relationship.. as almost all of them just want casual sex, to apease a fetish, experiment etc..

You have no idea how many times ive been asked..by guys I dont know - as part of their chat up process - 'so whats between your legs' - 'you still have a penis right?' - 'What are your future sugery plans? as I dont want a trans person who has had sugery' etc. etc.

- so yes, just very much yes

(and that comic is awesome - Ive been sharing it with every group im in/everyone I know at the moment.. because its just such a nice and acsessable way of explaining these things )
...
What is the answer to that though?
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fallen_acorns
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(Original post by Id and Ego seek)
...
What is the answer to that though?
in public/normal circumstances I wouldnt answer them,

But as this is my thread for answering all questions - and I think ive mentioned it before the answer for me, is that im pre-op

Still male genitalia.. though I fully intend to have sugery, and currently im working through my NHS trans care thingy, to get to that point

It looks like in decemember, il have finished all of the pre-sugery requirements, and then I will be able, if I choose, to put my name down on the list, and start the consultations for sugery

- I graduate this year, so hopefully I can start the process in december, and aragne to have the sugery, once I graduate in the summer - before I start work.. as you need 2 months or so to recover
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spun29
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#325
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Do transgender prefer men or women...and what makes them gay, lesbian or straight?...Sorry if my question sounds rude...i've always thought about this when ever i think of transgenders!

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fallen_acorns
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(Original post by spun29)
Do transgender prefer men or women...and what makes them gay, lesbian or straight?...Sorry if my question sounds rude...i've always thought about this when ever i think of transgenders!

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eek, its confusing!

it depends on the individual..

Transgender, is relating to someones gender, (man/women/other)

Sexuality though, is something completly different, and not connected (gay, lesbian, straight etc)

So trans people can like anyone, or any combination of people.. - just in the same way that non-trans people will

--

Though it does become more confusing with trans people.. especially pre-op.

Because ofcourse the gender and body, dont match.. terms for relationships can become tricky.. and often it can become a grey-area,

with a lesbian dating a trans man,
A bisexual not liking trans people at all,
A straight guy having a crush on a trans girl..

Etc. - it makes the labels confusing, and can all get a bit muddled..

Though there certianly are lots of people who like, and will date trans people, and will love us for who we are
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Id and Ego seek
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(Original post by fallen_acorns)
Still male genitalia.. though I fully intend to have sugery, and currently im working through my NHS trans care thingy, to get to that point
You will have achieved what has plagued my mind during showers since I was a pre-teen: what it feels like to have a penis.

Jealous. Even though you won't miss it, never forget it :cry:
Good luck!
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fallen_acorns
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#328
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(Original post by Id and Ego seek)
You will have achieved what has plagued my mind during showers since I was a pre-teen: what it feels like to have a penis.

Jealous. Even though you won't miss it, never forget it :cry:
Good luck!
thanks

+ yes, most definatly will not miss it!

(though being able to pee standing up is kind of nice (if wrong in my case) )
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syrettd
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#329
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Hey Lily, another question from me! I was reading the paper earlier today and they had a double page spread dedicated to a prisoner who had a sex change operation on the NHS while in prison and was defending it, based on the fact that "The NHS wastes money on people with cancer, whereas I've got lots of years left". As someone very recently diagnosed with cancer, I wanted to punch her. This is, obviously, the reaction the paper wanted me to feel. I've also read articles about a man who became a woman and then realised it was a mistake and wants to have his surgery reversed, and other articles along the same lines as both of these examples. So my question is what do you think of transgendered people represented in the media? To me it seems like what I read is biased and potentially harmful to people's understanding of transgendered people and the issues they face.
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fallen_acorns
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#330
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(Original post by syrettd)
Hey Lily, another question from me! I was reading the paper earlier today and they had a double page spread dedicated to a prisoner who had a sex change operation on the NHS while in prison and was defending it, based on the fact that "The NHS wastes money on people with cancer, whereas I've got lots of years left". As someone very recently diagnosed with cancer, I wanted to punch her. This is, obviously, the reaction the paper wanted me to feel.

I've also read articles about a man who became a woman and then realised it was a mistake and wants to have his surgery reversed, and other articles along the same lines as both of these examples. So my question is what do you think of transgendered people represented in the media? To me it seems like what I read is biased and potentially harmful to people's understanding of transgendered people and the issues they face.
ive split it into 2 parts:

For the first paragraph:

She sounds like an insensitive *****! - her comment is completly out of line, and offensive.

Though I agree with her being allowed sugery.. - im glad we live in a country that will happily treat our prisoners medical conditions.. and transsexualism/gender dyshporia, is considered a medical condition - so should be treated like any other

But that does not defend her comments about cancer at all! which are just way out of order.

---

For the second paragraph:

yes, there are some trans people who de-transition.. they are very very rare though, and the NHS put it at 99.5% of people who have trans sugery, are happy with the results.

As for trans media coverage..

By and large its awful..

the press want stories, and the trans people make damn good ones! we are different, we are often contreversial, and we are quite facsinating for non-trans people!

articles usually come under:

-Jokes - laughing at trans people.. how a trans person looks, how ugly a trans women is, etc.
-Controversy - finding trans people with crazy problems, and publishing articles about them, to cause a stir of people saying 'wow trans people are nuts!'

Though occasionally you do get great articles, about trans welfare - trans rights, inspiring stories of trans people getting on with life/achieving gerat things etc

But overal its currently one of the biggest problems facing trans people, and our fight for equality
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kb5462
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#331
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Do you feel well-represented (or are your concerns/issues/viewpoints well-represented) in parliament, as someone who is transgendered?

I've always wondered this, because it's obviously a topic that (not necessarily rightly) isn't always hugely discussed.
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syrettd
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(Original post by fallen_acorns)
ive split it into 2 parts:

For the first paragraph:

She sounds like an insensitive *****! - her comment is completly out of line, and offensive.

Though I agree with her being allowed sugery.. - im glad we live in a country that will happily treat our prisoners medical conditions.. and transsexualism/gender dyshporia, is considered a medical condition - so should be treated like any other

But that does not defend her comments about cancer at all! which are just way out of order.

---

For the second paragraph:

yes, there are some trans people who de-transition.. they are very very rare though, and the NHS put it at 99.5% of people who have trans sugery, are happy with the results.

As for trans media coverage..

By and large its awful..

the press want stories, and the trans people make damn good ones! we are different, we are often contreversial, and we are quite facsinating for non-trans people!

articles usually come under:

-Jokes - laughing at trans people.. how a trans person looks, how ugly a trans women is, etc.
-Controversy - finding trans people with crazy problems, and publishing articles about them, to cause a stir of people saying 'wow trans people are nuts!'

Though occasionally you do get great articles, about trans welfare - trans rights, inspiring stories of trans people getting on with life/achieving gerat things etc

But overal its currently one of the biggest problems facing trans people, and our fight for equality
Yeah, I do agree that getting the surgery on the NHS is fine, and she even mentioned how she wanted bigger breasts but they wouldn't pay so she got them privately, which despite my hatred for her earlier comments made me a bit impressed- she could have so easily been the next Josie Cunningham and squeezed the life out of the NHS.

The articles I read are always the controversy causing ones, and they always stick in my mind. Like the one with the man who wants to reverse his surgery. He was advocating stricter controls on how trans people go about getting hormones and surgery. It could be a fair comment, I suppose, but in his story his treatment was decades ago, and he went to the doctor about cross dressing and was immendiately given hormones. Then he went back a few years later about depression, and the GP convinced him surgery would make him happy. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but from what you've said about current NHS practises, this would NEVER happen now. So what he was saying seemed, to me, that it could be quite harmful to the trans community in that people could just go 'well you might change your mind in five years, doctors shouldn't give you those hormones'.
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fallen_acorns
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#333
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(Original post by kb5462)
Do you feel well-represented (or are your concerns/issues/viewpoints well-represented) in parliament, as someone who is transgendered?

I've always wondered this, because it's obviously a topic that (not necessarily rightly) isn't always hugely discussed.
nope.. not overly

though I wouldnt expect there to be a trans member of parliment.. it wold be nice if there were

We can get ignored though..

exsamples being in the recent equal-marriage debates, where the whole thing passed through with very little mention of its effect on trans people..

And when problems were raised, such as the implications of the spousal-veto that was included in the bill, - they were very easily brushed off..

Legally, currently, we have 90% of what we need.. so its not a huge huge deal, we have our anti-discrimintion laws, we are included in the equality act 2010, and have the gender recognition act 2004, protecting our gender identities, and providing a way to legally change our gender..
so mostly, we are pretty covered legally..

The only couple of final problems, are the 2-3 minor issues with the equal marriage act.. and the recent legal cases of trans-men being taken to court for not disclosing their gender identity, prior to sex..

- so to answer your question as best as I can:

I would love a trans MP
But I do not expect one, or ever want one to be mandated in..

It would help a lot, and make our lives easier
- but more because it would be a powerful, public trans figure -- rather then the need for transgender laws/goverment action.. which by and large, is pretty good already.
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fallen_acorns
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#334
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(Original post by syrettd)
Yeah, I do agree that getting the surgery on the NHS is fine, and she even mentioned how she wanted bigger breasts but they wouldn't pay so she got them privately, which despite my hatred for her earlier comments made me a bit impressed- she could have so easily been the next Josie Cunningham and squeezed the life out of the NHS.

The articles I read are always the controversy causing ones, and they always stick in my mind. Like the one with the man who wants to reverse his surgery. He was advocating stricter controls on how trans people go about getting hormones and surgery. It could be a fair comment, I suppose, but in his story his treatment was decades ago, and he went to the doctor about cross dressing and was immendiately given hormones. Then he went back a few years later about depression, and the GP convinced him surgery would make him happy. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but from what you've said about current NHS practises, this would NEVER happen now. So what he was saying seemed, to me, that it could be quite harmful to the trans community in that people could just go 'well you might change your mind in five years, doctors shouldn't give you those hormones'.
mm the way he was treated does sound very out-dated

These days there are very very strict procedures that have to be followed, and you will never get sugery on the NHS without atleast going through 12 months of living as yourself, 12 months of Hormone therapy - and a butt-load of councelling sessions, therapy sessions, analaysis etc
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Jdizzle15
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#335
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What features are you most attracted to in men and women? Like do you find the typically attractive people attractive or not so much?

also not related to my other question but do you think trans/sexuality should be looked at in school as a way of helping people become more tolerant? and if so at what age?
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fallen_acorns
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#336
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(Original post by Jdizzle15)
What features are you most attracted to in men and women? Like do you find the typically attractive people attractive or not so much?

also not related to my other question but do you think trans/sexuality should be looked at in school as a way of helping people become more tolerant? and if so at what age?
honestly, I really don't mind peoples physical appearance.

I guess, it comes from having to live a life, where you spend every day activly trying to forget what you look like, and ignore what others look like..
- when thats the way you have to live, for years, you kind of stop thinking of people as attractive/ugly and in physical ways.

The last few people Ive dated have been very varied, guys/girls, of different body shapes.

Fat/thin/tall/short/musculer/pretty - it really doesnt matter

The person who I will fall for will be the one who is kind, makes me feel like myeslf, makes me feel safe - helps me through the hard times, loves me for who I am etc..

(though it should be noted, dispite not having any physical hang-ups on peple.. I am quite fussy when it comes to people, personality wise etc )
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spun29
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#337
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(Original post by fallen_acorns)
eek, its confusing!

it depends on the individual..

Transgender, is relating to someones gender, (man/women/other)

Sexuality though, is something completly different, and not connected (gay, lesbian, straight etc)

So trans people can like anyone, or any combination of people.. - just in the same way that non-trans people will

--

Though it does become more confusing with trans people.. especially pre-op.

Because ofcourse the gender and body, dont match.. terms for relationships can become tricky.. and often it can become a grey-area,

with a lesbian dating a trans man,
A bisexual not liking trans people at all,
A straight guy having a crush on a trans girl..

Etc. - it makes the labels confusing, and can all get a bit muddled..

Though there certianly are lots of people who like, and will date trans people, and will love us for who we are
Thank You for answering....you're lovely

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fallen_acorns
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(Original post by spun29)
Thank You for answering....you're lovely

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aww, thank you
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QuantumOverlord
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#339
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Hi. This is really interesting, I hope everything has gone well for you. I have a question: do you think differently after having hormone theraphy? Ive read some stuff about hormone treatment, and apparently some people actually start to think like the other gender; becoming more emphatic, having generally more 'feminine' interests e.c.t. Also will it affect athleticism significantly, since men and women are built quite differently in that respect. Hope that question isn't too personal. Thanks.
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fallen_acorns
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#340
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(Original post by QuantumOverlord)
Hi. This is really interesting, I hope everything has gone well for you. I have a question: do you think differently after having hormone theraphy? Ive read some stuff about hormone treatment, and apparently some people actually start to think like the other gender; becoming more emphatic, having generally more 'feminine' interests e.c.t. Also will it affect athleticism significantly, since men and women are built quite differently in that respect. Hope that question isn't too personal. Thanks.
eek, in terms of mood/hormones, its quite hard to tell..

it effects everyone different - and you have to remember that a lot of trans people will take hormones in their early stages of transitioning.. during that time they are also experiamenting, and experiancing a lot of things for the first time - trans girls who can finally feel ok about enjoying female interests, and trans men who can finally dress the way they like etc.
A lot of the personality changes will probably be as a result of them finally being themselves, and experssing their identity more freely, rather then because of the hormones

That said, HRT can have effects on your temperment,

for instance testosterone can make trans men more competative, easily angered, restless etc..

Whereas female hormones, are fairly well documented to have a calming effect. ( can testify to this ) - they can generally make you less competitve, more relaxed, more calm - though in equal messure, more emotional, and with a slightly wider emotional scope
- alot of trans women report being able to cry a lot more, post-hormones, and getting upset over small things that wouldnt have bothered them before.. etc.

So overal:

Yes, hormones do have some effects on your personality and the way you think, but those effects can be hard to defrencaite from the effects of coming out, and the liberation of being yourself -- which all can happen around the same time
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