Mental Health Support Society XVIII

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TSR looking different to you this week? Find out why here. 02-12-2016
    #19

    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    x

    you are literally such a lovely person
    sorry if this is inappropriate to post here but i always notice you floating about and ik a lot of ppl do the same but you are such a nice person.
    idk why im really writing this, should go to bed really but yeh just a passing thought
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    you are literally such a lovely person
    sorry if this is inappropriate to post here but i always notice you floating about and ik a lot of ppl do the same but you are such a nice person.
    idk why im really writing this, should go to bed really but yeh just a passing thought


    I don't know what to say other than thank you! I try hard to be nice to people (as long as they aren't obtuse or trolls) and to make everyone feel welcome/heard/answered as much as possible! It doesn't come naturally to me at all but I try. So it's nice to know that people think I'm helpful in any tiny way!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    you are literally such a lovely person
    sorry if this is inappropriate to post here but i always notice you floating about and ik a lot of ppl do the same but you are such a nice person.
    idk why im really writing this, should go to bed really but yeh just a passing thought
    Goatherd makes me want to become a better forumista.
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    (Original post by Wilfred Little)
    Goatherd makes me want to become a better forumista.
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    Feel so lost
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    (Original post by Little Popcorns)
    Feel so lost


    Is there anything any of us can do? Anything you wanna talk about? I'll probs need to sleep in the next half hour, is the only thing...
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Huge hugs to everyone tonight. Grouphugs for all :grouphugs:

    I told my therapist today that stuff she says makes me wanna smack her. She took it pretty well!

    Therapy today was really challenging. I started off not very lucid and she was asking questions like "do you actually WANT to get better?" and I was like :hide: The different TLGs held a council and decided therapist is A Trustworthy Person though, coz she managed the session very well, all things considered Real TLG ended up talking a lot in the session, which I guess is good? I dunno. Real TLG has only ever talked to two people before. So now I'm ****-scared of what might happen :cry: But trying to be positive.

    Therapist acknowleged/affirmed with no manipulation/say-so from me, that it seems that a lot of the manifestations of my illness are most probably trauma-related/trauma-induced, as opposed to psychotic-related/psychosis-induced. The different TLGs feel like they've finally been heard. So relieved



    Please be careful hun



    You be careful too. Huge hugs

    :jumphug:
    I really glad you're feeling heard by therapist bit short on words but know I have lots of emotion in the gladness

    Yesterday was intoxicating. I can barely describe but it's like being in a vacuum. Nothing matters but that other person's happiness and feeling just slightly like I've displeased them sent me into floods of tears. I literally didn't move for food, drink, bathroom break...nothing, for about 8 hours. I was hungry underneath the spell..but..yeah my most invested parts, Beth and one of the teens just felt nothing but this insatiable hunger for approval which they've been starved of for years.

    Now I'm away from it I'm think it should probably not conducive to healing from trauma and integration. But they may lynch me if I try and break the contact again. The guy is safe and doesn't hurt me. I just wonder how healthy it is. My emotions were super bright and volatile and the obvious of not taking care of basic needs.

    This post is much longer than I was expecting!

    In other *****y news...when I thought my partner was cross with me, last night..I had an accident 😳 I was totally convinced something awful would happen. Hate PTSD. My partner would never hit me or otherwise abuse me. This is my PTSD flaring up because we are peeling back the layers of childhood

    I wanna hidden until it all resolves
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    (Original post by ~Tara~)
    I really glad you're feeling heard by therapist bit short on words but know I have lots of emotion in the gladness

    Yesterday was intoxicating. I can barely describe but it's like being in a vacuum. Nothing matters but that other person's happiness and feeling just slightly like I've displeased them sent me into floods of tears. I literally didn't move for food, drink, bathroom break...nothing, for about 8 hours. I was hungry underneath the spell..but..yeah my most invested parts, Beth and one of the teens just felt nothing but this insatiable hunger for approval which they've been starved of for years.

    Now I'm away from it I'm think it should probably not conducive to healing from trauma and integration. But they may lynch me if I try and break the contact again. The guy is safe and doesn't hurt me. I just wonder how healthy it is. My emotions were super bright and volatile and the obvious of not taking care of basic needs.

    This post is much longer than I was expecting!

    In other *****y news...when I thought my partner was cross with me, last night..I had an accident 😳 I was totally convinced something awful would happen. Hate PTSD. My partner would never hit me or otherwise abuse me. This is my PTSD flaring up because we are peeling back the layers of childhood

    I wanna hidden until it all resolves
    Thanks hun, I appreciate you writing and showing your support, always :lovehug:

    I'm guessing you have heard of schemas in your therapy/in your own training? It sounds like this person has activated some of yours in quite a strong way. I am concerned about the impact reuniting with this person may have on you and your recovery It's ultimately your decision but maybe you should bring this up in your next therapy session?

    Absolutely no judgement from me though, coz I do the same thing with people all the time. I can't seem to get away from people who treat me badly or trigger my schemas. In fact, I seem to be really drawn to them in a really alarming way :sigh: So I really DO understand, even though the situations may be different :console: :sadnod: :jumphug:
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)


    Is there anything any of us can do? Anything you wanna talk about? I'll probs need to sleep in the next half hour, is the only thing...
    Sorry I did fall asleep in the end myself. Thanks :hugs: hope you managed to settle things with the therapist and stuff! What was it she was saying that made you want to smack her one?

    No worries if you don't want to say or cba just intrigued the baby psychologist within
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    (Original post by Little Popcorns)
    Sorry I did fall asleep in the end myself. Thanks :hugs: hope you managed to settle things with the therapist and stuff! What was it she was saying that made you want to smack her one?

    No worries if you don't want to say or cba just intrigued the baby psychologist within
    Really glad you managed to get some sleep :hugs: Keep us posted on how you're doing though, yes yes? :hugs:

    It's just me being warped. She's really affirming and nice to me, and it just really confuses me. I don't take kindly to people being nice to me, unless I've been fishing or a compliment or something. Whereas she is just nice to me without any fishing. It confuses me and makes me ultra-suspicious because if she's being nice to me, then that clearly means she's after something (according to my brain) :sigh:

    Basically people are not allowed to be nice to/about me
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Really glad you managed to get some sleep :hugs: Keep us posted on how you're doing though, yes yes? :hugs:

    It's just me being warped. She's really affirming and nice to me, and it just really confuses me. I don't take kindly to people being nice to me, unless I've been fishing or a compliment or something. Whereas she is just nice to me without any fishing. It confuses me and makes me ultra-suspicious because if she's being nice to me, then that clearly means she's after something (according to my brain) :sigh:

    Basically people are not allowed to be nice to/about me
    Yeah

    Been there! Or feeling not worthy of it or like your vulnerabilities will just come flooding out and it's like errr no! Stop! I want this brick wall between us and you're not ****ing knocking it down! which is of course really unhelpful especially in therapy :/
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    (Original post by Little Popcorns)
    Yeah

    Been there! Or feeling not worthy of it or like your vulnerabilities will just come flooding out and it's like errr no! Stop! I want this brick wall between us and you're not ****ing knocking it down! which is of course really unhelpful especially in therapy :/
    Yeah, exactly! It's not helped in my particular case because

    TRIGGER WARNING FOR ABUSE

    Spoiler:
    Show
    the options my brain presents are SHE'S GROOMING YOU and SHE'S AFTER SOMETHING. There's nothing in between


    We had a conversation about it though and I assured her that I'm not ACTUALLY going to hit her, and she said she knows that. So tiz all good
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Yeah, exactly! It's not helped in my particular case because

    TRIGGER WARNING FOR ABUSE
    Spoiler:
    Show
    the options my brain presents are SHE'S GROOMING YOU and SHE'S AFTER SOMETHING. There's nothing in between
    We had a conversation about it though and I assured her that I'm not ACTUALLY going to hit her, and she said she knows that. So tiz all good
    Yep I can see how those alarms would go off especially if you've had bad experiences in the past... I guess you're moving in the right direction though you're accepting that it is the case. It's okay to be angry though, having mental health problems is not the opposite of being a 'wet rag'... get emotional and stay emotional (within reason ) whether you're well or not.

    Hope that makes sense... it's definitely wordy
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    (Original post by Little Popcorns)
    Yep I can see how those alarms would go off especially if you've had bad experiences in the past... I guess you're moving in the right direction though you're accepting that it is the case. It's okay to be angry though, having mental health problems is not the opposite of being a 'wet rag'... get emotional and stay emotional (within reason ) whether you're well or not.

    Hope that makes sense... it's definitely wordy
    Makes total sense! :yep:

    Thanks, appreciate the support and encouragement. I'm starting to feel like I'm moving in the right direction, too
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Makes total sense! :yep:

    Thanks, appreciate the support and encouragement. I'm starting to feel like I'm moving in the right direction, too
    ah good!

    Brill
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    I feel so lazy. I am in my third year at uni and I haven't started on any of my essays/dissertations yet.

    And my mental health coordinator at my uni gave me a food diary to fill out and
    Spoiler:
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    I feel so guilty for writing what i've eaten. It feels too much. I fear she'll think i'm greedy.
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    (Original post by Cinnie)
    I feel so lazy. I am in my third year at uni and I haven't started on any of my essays/dissertations yet.

    And my mental health coordinator at my uni gave me a food diary to fill out and
    Spoiler:
    Show
    I feel so guilty for writing what i've eaten. It feels too much. I fear she'll think i'm greedy.
    Start small with uni work and get organised, best thing that helped me through my degree with mental health problems.
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    Meeting new female CPN on Wednesday from CMHT, wish me luck!
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    (Original post by Noodlzzz)
    Meeting new female CPN on Wednesday from CMHT, wish me luck!
    Hope she's nice
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    (Original post by Cinnie)
    Hope she's nice
    She sounds it on the phone
 
 
 
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