Depression Society MkII

Not good. Getting worked up. Miss her so much. Don't know what to do. Need help but don't know who to turn to. Not good not good not good

I'm really missing Vicki today too. Cancer is surrounding me at the minute and it just brings back our all memories together.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=e5r3R_P-nM4&feature=related

Watch that...it's the most emotional song every and it makes me cry everytime I listen to it but it makes me realise that she's in a better place now.

Also...http://www.brianmay.com/vickisworld/mar04.html the poem that Vicki wrote which is at the bottom of the page...I know she's watching over me and i know that Stephanie will be looking over you too xxx

Just feeling very bleh and lonely. My social mentor was going to come and see me tonight but she hasn't turned up and isn't replying to texts. I've barely seen anyone all day. Fed up of this and want to drink lots but I can't get to my vodka and I can't be bothered to go down to the bar although I may do soon. I'm pathetic and I hate me.

How are you though?

I'm here all night if you need someone to talk to to not feel lonely? You're not pathetic at all, but drink really really doesn't help. Sure short term it makes you feel better but it can cause problems with money, your liver, your mood in general and other long term problems.

Did you see a doctor about your head in the end? Hope that turned out alright.


I'm really struggling atm, so lonely at uni, can't cope with the work the lectures the voices everything just building up at once. I really hate it here but talking to the mental health person later this week so hopefully she can help.

sorry you're finding things hard. If you ever want to talk I'm here ok. I hope the mental health person can help later. Have you applied for DSA at all?

I didn't see a doctor in the end but my head feels ok now. I have an appointment on Monday though so I may or may not mention it there - depending on whether she's seen the form which says what happened. (I'd rather avoid all possible questions if possible). The stupid thing is that drink doesn't even make me feel better, it makes me hysterical, but somehow that feels better than being like this. I don't have to fight anything if I'm drunk. I just accept it and it all flows over me rather than me having to constantly push it away which is so tiring. It's annoying because I want it to make things better and I think it will which is why I do it but in the end it doesn't actually help. Bah it's annoying and I'm really craving a drink. I'm getting quite worried that I could get addicted to it :

Thanks No I've not applied but I'll talk to the woman about it.

Yeah you have to be really careful about drink along with depression, I've heard it's a bit easier to get addicted to it and alcohol addiction is a real bitch. I know what you mean about the alcohol though, it's like a release from all the **** you're feeling atm even if it brings its own **** along with it it's a different kind. Alcohol is a coping mechanism, like self harm, and you probably need to find a different, more healthy, way of coping with emotions. Have you told the doctor about this? They might be able to help you identify other ways to cope.