Depression Society MkII Watch

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jonathan122
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#3541
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#3541
(Original post by becki08)
I'm hiding away, not talking, pretending I'm fine. But I'm really hugging my pillow after crying for ages earlier, feeling completely dead inside and wanting to do anything that will harm me. Don't feel low, don't feel anything. Just numbness and deadness and hopelessness. I want to disappear.
please talk to someone
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blackfish
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#3542
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#3542
feeling weird and low today. For some reason i am struggling to keep a focus on anything, and my memory is not working. its hard to explain, for example, I went in the bathroom to have a shower and I remember locking the door, got out the shower and the door wasnt locked now i remember locking the door, but clearly i didn't... just no focus on anything today. i feel like im trapped and going insane.

how is everyone?

soz 4 da rant. bf
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*pink_sapphires*
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#3543
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#3543
(Original post by becki08)
I'm hiding away, not talking, pretending I'm fine. But I'm really hugging my pillow after crying for ages earlier, feeling completely dead inside and wanting to do anything that will harm me. Don't feel low, don't feel anything. Just numbness and deadness and hopelessness. I want to disappear.
:hugs: love you becki. xxx
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*pink_sapphires*
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#3544
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#3544
(Original post by blackfish)
feeling weird and low today. For some reason i am struggling to keep a focus on anything, and my memory is not working. its hard to explain, for example, I went in the bathroom to have a shower and I remember locking the door, got out the shower and the door wasnt locked now i remember locking the door, but clearly i didn't... just no focus on anything today. i feel like im trapped and going insane.

how is everyone?

soz 4 da rant. bf
yeah, i'm like that sometimes. i forget to wash conditioner out of my hair and silly things like that. my mum actually made me a checklist of things i had to make sure i'd done each day. it was simple simple things like 'brush teeth, brush hair, shower, make bed, wash hair, condition hair etc' felt like a baby but it did help me get through the day.

and don't apologise for ranting...it's why we're here
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blackfish
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#3545
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#3545
(Original post by *pink_sapphires*)
yeah, i'm like that sometimes. i forget to wash conditioner out of my hair and silly things like that. my mum actually made me a checklist of things i had to make sure i'd done each day. it was simple simple things like 'brush teeth, brush hair, shower, make bed, wash hair, condition hair etc' felt like a baby but it did help me get through the day.

and don't apologise for ranting...it's why we're here
Yea i know what you mean, i have a mobile/pda thing and in it, it has a calnder feature and tells me exactly what to do and where i should be. it does help but it does make you feel bad because your so reliant on something/someone else.

i was thiunking earlier that alcohol may have accidentally got into my orange juice at the pub where i had a meal this lunchtime, because i only felt weird afterwards and that was the funniest tasting orange juice ive ever had!
but then i thought, nah impossible, i watched the bar girl get a fresh carton of orange juice out the fridge and break and open the seal on it.

man im paranoid...
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jonathan122
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#3546
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#3546
I feel so unhappy. :cry: Everyone in college hates me, even people who've never even met me before. I don't understand how I'm supposed to live like this for another year. :cry:
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jonathan122
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#3547
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#3547
I never wanted to hurt anyone :cry:
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becki08
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#3548
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#3548
:hugs: for jonathon
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Laus
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#3549
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#3549
I can relate, jon. But not everyone will hate you. Try not to get paranoid.

I feel like ****. Hoping to go back to York next week. I have a virus at the mo and feel sooo ill. But I think bridges can be built with my flat mates. I shouldn't have scared them like that.
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Laus
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#3550
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#3550
(Original post by jonathan122)
I never wanted to hurt anyone :cry:
:hugs: x million xxx
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YAP
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#3551
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#3551
(Original post by Laus)
I feel like ****. Hoping to go back to York next week. I have a virus at the mo and feel sooo ill. But I think bridges can be built with my flat mates. I shouldn't have scared them like that.
They should understand, the first week of university puts a lot of pressure on people. Hope you feel less ill soon and can start to work things out :hugs:.
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Laus
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#3552
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#3552
Actually, I'm not so sure. I feel like I've ****** up everything. I don't know why I bother, sometimes.
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Laus
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#3553
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#3553
(Original post by YAP)
They should understand, the first week of university puts a lot of pressure on people. Hope you feel less ill soon and can start to work things out :hugs:.
I don't know. Someone said they don't think it's the right place for me. At least, not until I have 'sorted things out'. But who knows how long that will take. I don't want to be a burden on anyone. I'm just going to have to prove that I'm fully capable of taking care of myself. :hugs: How are you?
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raspberrybubbles
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#3554
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#3554
Floating along in a dream world where nothing feels right... argh!
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Planto
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#3555
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#3555
Um.

Hypothetically speaking, what do you do if you've just realised that you think someone who lives 12,000 miles away is your soulmate?

Hypothetically.
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raspberrybubbles
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#3556
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#3556
The last few hours of summer.
I feel so empty, why does winter have to come? I hate this time of year, it's not fair :cry:
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becki08
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#3557
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#3557
Was suicidal for the first time in over a year today. Things just get better and better.
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raspberrybubbles
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#3558
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#3558
:hugs: becki, I'm on MSN if you want to chat xx
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Laus
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#3559
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#3559
(Original post by YAP)
They should understand, the first week of university puts a lot of pressure on people. Hope you feel less ill soon and can start to work things out :hugs:.
YAP, if you're still up for it, I'd like to meet in York one day. I know things aren't too great for you but perhaps a coffee and a chat would do us both the world of good? It's your call, though. I'm going back in about a week but anytime before or after Christmas would be fine. :hugs:

Also, if anyone wants to write to me then send me a PM. I would love to get random post whilst at uni. It would probably help.

Can't read everyone's posts at the mo, sorry. :hugs: to all xx
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Laus
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#3560
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#3560
Also, sorry if I haven't been answering my phone. I have a virus thing at the mo and I can't speak!! My throat is so sore. I hope you're all okay xx mwaaaaah xxx
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