Depression Society MkII Watch

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xemilyx
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#3901
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#3901
Hey everyone, how're you all? Hope you're okay. Generally finding this whole gap year a rather stressful experience. I am desperately trying to sort out all my money problems whilst trying to tackle all my demons and now I have decided that maybe I don't want to continue my course in Leeds, I am thinking of changing course all together and going to a completely different degree which means I will be 23/24 before I even graduate... so confused. Feeling really lonely at the moment. Me and the boy aren't technically together anymore and that's really stressful too

:hugs: to you all xxx
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Electric_Dreams
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#3902
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#3902
(Original post by Laus)
Straight English is too much! The thing is, I do love philosophy... I just don't want to study it if it's going to mess with my head too much. I don't start until next term. Perhaps I will feel more settled by then. xx
I know exactely what you mean about philosophy and so on, but I've found that exploring the likes of logic is fine. :hugs:

(I know this was from a while back, but I was just looking through the thread and this reminded me of me. :o:)
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vapid slut magician
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#3903
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#3903
(Original post by xemilyx)
Hey everyone, how're you all? Hope you're okay. Generally finding this whole gap year a rather stressful experience. I am desperately trying to sort out all my money problems whilst trying to tackle all my demons and now I have decided that maybe I don't want to continue my course in Leeds, I am thinking of changing course all together and going to a completely different degree which means I will be 23/24 before I even graduate... so confused. Feeling really lonely at the moment. Me and the boy aren't technically together anymore and that's really stressful too

:hugs: to you all xxx
i was 23 when i graduated... what's wrong with that?
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*pink_sapphires*
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#3904
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#3904
(Original post by LO :))
Nothing seems to be going right in my life at the minute. I'm dropping out of uni this week because I'm on completely the wrong course. I've met some great people but its not enough to keep me here. I've been thinking about it for a while and so I've been applying for jobs and not heard anything so far. I've not got to pay for my halls for the remainder of the year which I wont be living in and my tuition fees, grants etc. I feel like I've made such a mess of my life. The problem is I dont have the money to pay it back yet because I'm not earning. I so didnt want to be a 'drop out'.
i feel the same :hugs:
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*pink_sapphires*
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#3905
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#3905
(Original post by xemilyx)
Hey everyone, how're you all? Hope you're okay. Generally finding this whole gap year a rather stressful experience. I am desperately trying to sort out all my money problems whilst trying to tackle all my demons and now I have decided that maybe I don't want to continue my course in Leeds, I am thinking of changing course all together and going to a completely different degree which means I will be 23/24 before I even graduate... so confused. Feeling really lonely at the moment. Me and the boy aren't technically together anymore and that's really stressful too

:hugs: to you all xxx
we need a big chat because i'm thinking of dropping out and going in a different direction too :hugs:
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Dalimyr
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#3906
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#3906
****!!!!!!!!!

Ugh, after two and a half years I've finally managed to get a job...but I've been doing the job for a week, and training for a week before that, and it's exceptionally stressful at times. Basically, I'm working for customer services in a call centre for a big online retailer - if you haven't received your order or you've got the wrong item or something, it's me and the motley crew around me that you speak to (unless you're unfortunate and get redirected to the lot down in London). This obviously is not good for me as I get very pissed off people on the phone who take out their frustration on me I can push aside the odd whiny sod here and there, but at times we just get complaint after complaint after complaint and I really can't cope with that. Suicidal thoughts have been creeping into my mind again and because of what my job entails I'm really worried that a very rough session one day will just cause me to snap and act on those thoughts I don't know what to do at all; it's not like working in a store or something where I could see if it'd be possible for me to only work part-time (though the long hours are taking their toll on me as well) as that wouldn't really help (it lets me deal with fewer customers but ultimately they're still arsey customers and that's what my problem is), and I certainly can't just pick and choose what calls I can answer. I would try and see if I could only do emails, which would be less stressful for me, but I'm too new and I doubt the manager would want me doing that.

...I dunno, I think I may have to just call in sick and go to the doctor or hospital and come clean that I'm feeling suicidal and am worried that I may act on it. It's really not something I want to do but I'm not sure what other choices I could possibly have that could help me. I really don't know what I'd say to my parents when they get back from work and find out that I didn't go, assuming I do the above; I'm not even sure if mum knows I'm still on medication and as far as dad's concerned he doesn't have a clue just how much the job is affecting me. I imagine he knew, and I definitely knew, that it was going to be tough for me but while there are times where I love it, there are times when it really is just far too much and arguably a lot worse than I was expecting. The thing is that dad thinks I'm getting better, when at the moment I'm not really.
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Rainfaery
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#3907
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#3907
Everyone keeps coming to me with their problems and I can't handle it. I can't handle my own problems. And then none of my friends ever want to listen to me when I'm upset. I had almost made it through today without crying but now that's gone and I'm so stressed and sad and confused
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Dalimyr
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#3908
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#3908
(Original post by Rainfaery)
Everyone keeps coming to me with their problems and I can't handle it. I can't handle my own problems. And then none of my friends ever want to listen to me when I'm upset. I had almost made it through today without crying but now that's gone and I'm so stressed and sad and confused
Awwww, Mary :hugs: You can always come to me if you're upset; I'd be more than willing to listen to you.
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Dalimyr
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#3909
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#3909
Oh well, no work, doctor or hospital for me today...I may have been thinking of calling in sick, but I actually am sick Back to bed I go.
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xemilyx
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#3910
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#3910
(Original post by vapid slut magician)
i was 23 when i graduated... what's wrong with that?
I am not saying anything is wrong with it, please don't think that I just don't know what my parents will say as I will have then been in uni 5 years and not really achieved anything if you know what I mean. Don't want to offend anyone.
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vapid slut magician
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#3911
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#3911
(Original post by xemilyx)
I am not saying anything is wrong with it, please don't think that I just don't know what my parents will say as I will have then been in uni 5 years and not really achieved anything if you know what I mean. Don't want to offend anyone.
i really wouldnt think of it like that. you'll get the qualifications you want and you'll still be in your early 20s. i used to be kind of obsessed about being old when i finished but there's always someone older than you and there's always someone ridiculously young who got skipped ahead at school or something.

you have to concentrate on what you're doing and screw what everyone else thinks. I'm 24 now and will have been at uni for 5 years by the time im done; but by then i'll have a BA from Cambridge and an MSt from Oxford and I wouldn't trade them to be a couple of years younger
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xemilyx
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#3912
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#3912
(Original post by vapid slut magician)
i really wouldnt think of it like that. you'll get the qualifications you want and you'll still be in your early 20s. i used to be kind of obsessed about being old when i finished but there's always someone older than you and there's always someone ridiculously young who got skipped ahead at school or something.

you have to concentrate on what you're doing and screw what everyone else thinks. I'm 24 now and will have been at uni for 5 years by the time im done; but by then i'll have a BA from Cambridge and an MSt from Oxford and I wouldn't trade them to be a couple of years younger

That's pretty damn impressive Congratulations! It's not really the age (although it was part of the reason) I don't think I'd get accepted to where I want to be because of my A level results (BBB) and it's the whole hassle of getting released to get entered into UCAS to apply all over again... I just wish that when I had made the decision in the first place that I had thought about it properly.

Were you a different TSR member before you were Vapid slut magician? Like the name though
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vapid slut magician
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#3913
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#3913
(Original post by Dalimyr)
Oh well, no work, doctor or hospital for me today...I may have been thinking of calling in sick, but I actually am sick Back to bed I go.
i havent done any work in about 3 weeks and i havent left my room in days. ive been kind of depressed since i broke my wrist and its brought a lot of anxious thoughts and behaviours back (my anxiety was triggered by a needle phobia so hospitals are kryptonite to me) and im kind of worried its screwing my one and only year at oxford up. BUT every day you get a chance a start again and try to achieve something small, so you can start trying to turn things around any time you want. Doesn't mean it's easy, but that thought gives me some comfort.
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vapid slut magician
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#3914
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#3914
(Original post by xemilyx)
That's pretty damn impressive Congratulations! It's not really the age (although it was part of the reason) I don't think I'd get accepted to where I want to be because of my A level results (BBB) and it's the whole hassle of getting released to get entered into UCAS to apply all over again... I just wish that when I had made the decision in the first place that I had thought about it properly.

Were you a different TSR member before you were Vapid slut magician? Like the name though
yeah i was 'puppy'

BBB are strong enough grades for lots of places, what course are you hoping to do? If you want help with your PS or want it checking over then let me know. UCAS isnt too much trouble, i went back through it last year as a BSc was my back up if I didn't get my masters place or the grades for it. it was all pretty quick and straight forward (probably after the torture of postgrad apps!). look on the bright side, when you already have your grades you wont have the stress of meeting conditional offers
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KJ21
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#3915
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#3915
Iv been depressed for a long time now, went to see my GP as i been on fluoxetine for ages and he recommends councilling, im a lil sceptical about it, what you think? Is it good?
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keesy soze
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#3916
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#3916
Hey everyone, thought I'd say hi.

Just onto my 2nd spell of Anti-d's after a nightmare "holiday" in Thailand. Now back home, unemployed, single, a bit overweight, not feeling well from the holiday, and feeling a bit down about everything.

Anyway just thought I'd introduce myself and gonna use this as a place to write how I'm feeling day-to-day as I search for a job and try to get some exercise to improve the ol' serotonin level.

Keesy
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Bangers+Mash
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#3917
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#3917
Thankyou for the birthday wishes i got, Im sorry if I have not got around to properly replying to people by either facebook or text.

Well, as soon as the weekend was over, things have just sunk again.
College was tough today, but I survived. Only to get home to trouble and issues I needed to sort out which have really annoyed me, I still haven't properly cleaned my room from the weekend. People stayed over in my room and its all over the place. I feel rough.

I also come home to be told my nan has now been given 12 months because she had breast cancer but it has spread to her spine, Just another thing bothering me.
I have so much work to do, I feel like im being buried alive, i cant deal with the pace things are going at.

and also, why is everyone better than me, I feel bad as it is without being reminded how crap I am.
I really should do somework, but i think im going to lie in bed all night with music and play a game on the laptop so i can lie down at the same time,
should calm me down.

God the weather is horrible

Sorry about my lengthy moaning.

On a much brighter note, It was great to meet kate at the weekend, what a lovely girl!! sorry I couldn't stay longer.
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Pocket Calculator
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#3918
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#3918
feeling so damn lonely.
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keesy soze
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#3919
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#3919
Just got back from a run, only 3 miles but it's a start, feeling a bit better, it's so wierd how exercise makes you feel better, which is what I need to feel right now.

Onwards and upwards :top:

Can anyone suggest any songs to improve mood (if only temporarily)? At the moment I like listening to "Australia" by the Manics, it seems such an upbeat song!
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vapid slut magician
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#3920
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#3920
(Original post by keesy soze)
Just got back from a run, only 3 miles but it's a start, feeling a bit better, it's so wierd how exercise makes you feel better, which is what I need to feel right now.

Onwards and upwards :top:

Can anyone suggest any songs to improve mood (if only temporarily)? At the moment I like listening to "Australia" by the Manics, it seems such an upbeat song!
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=hHybxGEcbZY
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