Depression Society MkII

I am driving people away. And it's as though I'm using alcohol as an excuse for people to hate me. I'm not worth it. I just want to be on my own because I end up losing people whenever I get too close... Or else I love them more than they could possibly imagine... only it's never reciprocated. I'm too needy and sensitive for my own good. I hate myself. I have ruined everything.

I really don't want to get out of bed in the morning

I only just got up haha xxxx

Me too but only because my Mum text me and hinted about purple ghds Oh, and yesterday she told me that my Dad has a cunning plan (I think it's about my car) but he won't tell me until he sees me on Saturday. I'm quite excited about that too. Well, as excited as I can be seeing as the only emotion able to come from my body at the minute seems to be confusion!

My car has gone to the car doctor today. Hopefully they'll fix the power steering for me and it won't cost too much money. Dad and I have this rule....if it costs more than £200 to fix, it's not worth it because the car is so old it's pointless and that money could be put towards a new car. However, I know Dad won't stick to that! I hope it's fixed before Saturday because my family are coming down on Saturday Mum's already said I can drive so I'm happy about that because I love driving and that will be 3 weeks running that I've been able to drive Just hope that I don't get as low as I did last week and want to crash into a tree

Right...going to draw up a plan of action for today and tick things off as I go along. Will post it here after I've had a shower.

My plan is as follows:

Shower ( just done something naughty lol)

Catch a bus to carrers advisor

Come home

Laze about

Cinema tonight

What are you going to see?

W lol

That new film about George Bush

Im really down today, I think im going to have another breakdown. I keep looking at my tablets and keep thinking if i took all these now, no one would give a flying ****

ONLY 3 miles?!?!?!?!?!?! Jeez, that's brilliant! I couldn't even run 100m, let alone 3 miles! Well done hun That's really impressive!

As for the songs...sometimes I find dance music can help lift my mood

Hey, thanks for the encouragement, but a few months ago I could run 10 miles no danger, now I just feel fat and unfit! Just need to keep upping the mileage.

I only really like 1 dance song (I'm more of a rocker myself), it's Love Island by Fatboy Slim.

Feel ok today, think I'm gonna go shopping in Leeds to see if there's owt good worth buying, looking forward to seeing my mum tomorrow and a chat with the Job Centre on Saturday so I can hopefully get a job and end this boredom.

Keesy

Hello sapphire my lil sweety

yeah i was 'puppy'

BBB are strong enough grades for lots of places, what course are you hoping to do? If you want help with your PS or want it checking over then let me know. UCAS isnt too much trouble, i went back through it last year as a BSc was my back up if I didn't get my masters place or the grades for it. it was all pretty quick and straight forward (probably after the torture of postgrad apps!). look on the bright side, when you already have your grades you wont have the stress of meeting conditional offers

I'd really like to do politics with something... it was my original course choice, but I got released from my uni (Not a very good one...) and got entered into clearing. Leeds is where I wanted to be at the time and now I kinda regret it. It's just that if I commit to telling my uni that I don't want to be there any want to go somewhere else then there is the danger that it won't work out... guess I am just being a scardy cat.