I HATE how I have no say in things.. (sorry if wrong forum) Watch

weet_ABI_x
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#21
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#21
This will probably be a bit controversial but I think you're overreacting and being very immature about this. If he's bought you a house, the least you can do is skip freshers week if he doesn't want you to go. Once you're actually living in this house, there's nothing he can do to stop you from doing what you want. To sport a cliché: he's acting like this because of how much he cares about you. If he didn't give a **** about you he wouldn't be able to get rid of you and any responsibilities quick enough, would he?
By the way, one of my flatmates this year missed fresher's week last year and he made friends and joined societies and stuff fine - it's a shame to miss it of course, but it's not THAT important.
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shifter
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#22
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#22
That must be one EXPENSIVE bus if it's more than a B&B.
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Lefty_P
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#23
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#23
Lol at some of these posts. What's all this nonsense about being an adult? If you're gonna be an adult, rent your own place. He's bought you a ******* house.
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Durantula
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#24
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#24
(Original post by PlanetTea)
Oh per-lease. Don't listen to this nut-job OP. Listen to the other poster; you need to suck it up and do what you damn well please. I'm sorry but that's the only way to take control of your own life and put your father in his place i.e. out of your business.

K, im the nutjob.

You give "advice" but your not the one who'll have to get by with little money and support, and tear his family apart through his dad being so damn stubborn. Its not ideal, but if his fathers this way...what can he do? You have no right to say im a nut job, when my OPINION makes valid sense. I doubt you've ever been in this situation OP, if his fathers been like this from the get go, and hes come close to suicide, you think its going to be easy for him to do his own ****, for the sake of one week of clubbing? Its about getting by while he can, getting himself a quality degree and making something of himself by the end of it.

Like you said earlier, your parents are TELLING you to go out and have fun. Not all parents are this way, and not everyones lives are so cushty. OP you have your own house, if going to freshers is going to cause so many issues, it really isnt worth it. Its a real ***** to miss, i know, but not everybody is so lucky, so your gna have to suck it up and party hard afterwards, and get yourself a quality degree so you can live your own life, with ease in the future.

Absolutely stupid. Life isnt so clear cut. And yet, im the nutjob. Good one.
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mipegg
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#25
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#25
(Original post by SkySantosh)
I cant disagree more.....it isnt that simple, you cant just turn around and ignore your fathers requests completely, go out and do your thing for freshers, end of the day, this is the guy whose nurtured you from a kid, and done whatever it takes for you. Now i dont agree with what hes doing with regards to his son and his university, but it isnt so clearcut as "Up and go", because in the event the father does turn around and disown him, what then? Whose the one losing out? Then the OP has a whole host of problems to deal with while trying to get a degree in the process.

...As opposed to putting up and losing out still. Seems a clear choice to me, stick around with it and lose out constantly, letting him rule your life through uni or do what you want and possibly lose out but still get to live your life how you want. Hmmmmm
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Durantula
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#26
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#26
(Original post by mipegg)
...As opposed to putting up and losing out still. Seems a clear choice to me, stick around with it and lose out constantly, letting him rule your life through uni or do what you want and possibly lose out but still get to live your life how you want. Hmmmmm

You dont seem to understand - it isnt that clearcut. Lets take this scenario, he tells his dad to **** off, and goes and has a great time during freshers. What then? This is the father thats driven his son close to suicide. You think he'll continue supporting him? What does the OP do then? Getting a job isnt easy, especially while juggling a degree. Oh, and theres maintenance loan and tution fees also. Ohhh and i forgot, his father bought the house, what if he takes it away? He certainly seems irrational enough to not allow his son to live there. What then?

Absolutely ridiculous, for you to make a statement like that. End of the day, he has his own house, missing freshers means nothing compared to what he could lose, all he has to do is ride out this week (as hard as that is, unfortunately) and have a good time afterwards.

Do you get what im trying to say now?
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mipegg
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#27
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#27
(Original post by SkySantosh)
You dont seem to understand - it isnt that clearcut. Lets take this scenario, he tells his dad to **** off, and goes and has a great time during freshers. What then? This is the father thats driven his son close to suicide. You think he'll continue supporting him? What does the OP do then? Getting a job isnt easy, especially while juggling a degree. Oh, and theres maintenance loan and tution fees also. Ohhh and i forgot, his father bought the house, what if he takes it away? He certainly seems irrational enough to not allow his son to live there. What then?

Absolutely ridiculous, for you to make a statement like that. End of the day, he has his own house, missing freshers means nothing compared to what he could lose, all he has to do is ride out this week (as hard as that is, unfortunately) and have a good time afterwards.

Do you get what im trying to say now?
Basically, he'll be in a similar situation to what Im going to be in. Family arent going to support me in any way (they cant afford it) yet the govt deems them able to thus I get no grants. Loans arent payed back until after you finish, talking to the uni' with the situation would get stuff done.

So lets see it this way, kid doesnt go to freshers, travels 2 hours a day for 2 weeks, lives in the house and becomes a social recluse controlled by his dad. Then what about after uni, will he go live at home and work the rest of his life? Uni is the time to get away from outside controls on your life and do things your way
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Durantula
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#28
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#28
(Original post by mipegg)
Basically, he'll be in a similar situation to what Im going to be in. Family arent going to support me in any way (they cant afford it) yet the govt deems them able to thus I get no grants. Loans arent payed back until after you finish, talking to the uni' with the situation would get stuff done.

So lets see it this way, kid doesnt go to freshers, travels 2 hours a day for 2 weeks, lives in the house and becomes a social recluse controlled by his dad. Then what about after uni, will he go live at home and work the rest of his life? Uni is the time to get away from outside controls on your life and do things your way

See i get what you mean, but he doesnt have to have it that way. What im saying sounds stupid, and im 18 too, im anticipating freshers just as much as anyone else, BUT, he has the chance to have a life after freshers (as hes living out), and whose to say he has to live under shackles his whole life? Skipping freshers for his dads sake is a small sacrifice - he can look for a job while being supported by his dad while hes at uni, and when hes ready and prepared - start opposing decisions and taking control of his life again.

Why throw yourself in the deep end for the sake of freshers? Better to come out of it prepared.
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PlanetTea
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#29
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#29
(Original post by SkySantosh)
K, im the nutjob.

You give "advice" but your not the one who'll have to get by with little money and support, and tear his family apart through his dad being so damn stubborn. Its not ideal, but if his fathers this way...what can he do? You have no right to say im a nut job, when my OPINION makes valid sense. I doubt you've ever been in this situation OP, if his fathers been like this from the get go, and hes come close to suicide, you think its going to be easy for him to do his own ****, for the sake of one week of clubbing? Its about getting by while he can, getting himself a quality degree and making something of himself by the end of it.

Like you said earlier, your parents are TELLING you to go out and have fun. Not all parents are this way, and not everyones lives are so cushty. OP you have your own house, if going to freshers is going to cause so many issues, it really isnt worth it. Its a real ***** to miss, i know, but not everybody is so lucky, so your gna have to suck it up and party hard afterwards, and get yourself a quality degree so you can live your own life, with ease in the future.

Absolutely stupid. Life isnt so clear cut. And yet, im the nutjob. Good one.
So you're basically telling the OP to succumb yet again to what her father wants. To yet again miss out and be controlled? That is terrible advice. Why should she miss out on having some fun, that frankly doesn't hurt anybody just because her father has decided to be selfish? Of course life isn't that 'clear cut' I'm not saying it is, of course it'll be difficult, but that doesn't mean the OP should just roll over and take it again. Because when does it stop? What will be different now to in three years time after her degree? She'll still be an adult in a similar situation. No, the OP should start making boundaries and lines clear now, and her father will have to learn to get used to it. I really cannot believe you've just advised her to take it, to put her life on hold for him just because it's 'difficult'. Wow, you're gonna do well in life with an attitude like that. I'm well aware that things aren't as easy they are for me with their parents, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong. And, I'm sorry for calling you a nutjob it was out of order, I was simply trying to make the point that your advice is incorrect.
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Durantula
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#30
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#30
(Original post by PlanetTea)
So you're basically telling the OP to succumb yet again to what her father wants. To yet again miss out and be controlled? That is terrible advice. Why should she miss out on having some fun, that frankly doesn't hurt anybody just because her father has decided to be selfish? Of course life isn't that 'clear cut' I'm not saying it is, of course it'll be difficult, but that doesn't mean the OP should just roll over and take it again. Because when does it stop? What will be different now to in three years time after her degree? She'll still be an adult in a similar situation. No, the OP should start making boundaries and lines clear now, and her father will have to learn to get used to it. I really cannot believe you've just advised her to take it, to put her life on hold for him just because it's 'difficult'. Wow, you're gonna do well in life with an attitude like that. I'm well aware that things aren't as easy they are for me with their parents, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong. And, I'm sorry for calling you a nutjob it was out of order, I was simply trying to make the point that your advice is incorrect.

What im trying to say, is that now isnt the time to jump out and risk losing the security - its better to bide your time, and be prepared to live on your own two feet. I totally agree, you have to get out of this controlling cycle eventually, but when you are prepared, sacrificing a week of freshers is worth it for you to have the time to find a job, and some security before you oppose your fathers decisions, so if he does give you an ultimatum, you can stand on your own two feet. Im not advising her to sit down and take it, far from it, thatd be awful. Im advising her not to RUSH anything, and to be prepared and ready before she begins to assert herself again. Dya get what i mean now?

Its just playin the game.
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Dionysus
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#31
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#31
(Original post by Pink Bullets)
Am I missing something? Your father bought you a HOUSE and you're complaining because you won't get to move into it until after fresher's week? And you want sympathy or something? What?
That's exactly what I was thinking... My first thought was 'what a spoilt little...' and then I saw everyone's sympathetic responses. I think some people here live on a different planet.
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killacam2
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#32
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#32
some of the posters on here are ******* ********S.

Spoilt?

This guy/girl has NEVER BEEN OUT, or had an ounce of freedom since young.

the OP couldnt GIVE TWO ******* ***** about a house, or anything material, they want to enjoy something that should be FREE AND SHOULD BE GIVEN TO EVERYBODY - freedom.

She/he shouldnt have to give up this basic right in exchange for a house and i doubt they do want to.

Non of you would understand though as i bet you've always had the ability to go out, see your friends, do what you please. I wish you could experience how hard being in the OPs situation would be. having 'contacts' stalking you at uni? what the ****?

I feel for you OP, but dont worry - things will work out...
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killacam2
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#33
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#33
Also, for those who cant read, the OP says that she will still have to RENT THE HOUSE from her dad.

Yeah, real lucky.
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emerley
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#34
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#34
I think you should just stay in the B&B with your future housemate like you planned, and attend all the events with them like you planned. If needs be then just lie to your dad and go there instead of the relatives place he wants you to go to.
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Pink Bullets
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#35
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#35
(Original post by killacam2)
some of the posters on here are ******* ********S.

Spoilt?

This guy/girl has NEVER BEEN OUT, or had an ounce of freedom since young.

the OP couldnt GIVE TWO ******* ***** about a house, or anything material, they want to enjoy something that should be FREE AND SHOULD BE GIVEN TO EVERYBODY - freedom.

She/he shouldnt have to give up this basic right in exchange for a house and i doubt they do want to.

Non of you would understand though as i bet you've always had the ability to go out, see your friends, do what you please. I wish you could experience how hard being in the OPs situation would be. having 'contacts' stalking you at uni? what the ****?

I feel for you OP, but dont worry - things will work out...
What the hell are you talking about? This is what is called 'projection'.
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Durantula
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#36
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#36
killacam2 is just being stupid - read through my responses. If you want your freedom, go get it, ill be there to laugh at you when it dawns on you that for the sake of one weeks clubbing; youve just ****** yourself over security wise Just be patient op....go look for a job, and get more mates so you can stay with them if this doesnt work out with your dad
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Hugh-Jackman
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#37
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#37
Your dad actually sounds like a complete control freak, I mean attempted suicide by you is pretty serious, he must be doing some crazy things.

Have you actually argued it out with him that you want to do freshers week?

Wouldn't surprise me if he rigs your new house with camera's.
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