Help - she agreed to meet, I text her something cheesy, now she says no meet! Watch

maxfire
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#21
Report 8 years ago
#21
It really does amaze me as to how people cannot decipher these social situations for themselves.
You sounded like a creep tbh. And you were really clingy with the text. You came on much to strong. Good luck with life.
0
reply
Indieboohoo
Badges: 1
#22
Report 8 years ago
#22
Is there any point using anon, if she uses this wouldn't she not notice the text?
reply
HEJ92
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#23
Report 8 years ago
#23
(Original post by Anonymous)
So I saw a gorgeous girl today at university who I have fancied like mad for a while. Sat down and spoke to her (she was sitting on her own). We conversed for a while, I flirted, then I told her that I thought she was gorgeous. She said thanks and beamed. Everything was great; I already had her number from before and I said it would be great to see her again some time for a catch up. She agreed, I said I would get in touch. Walked away and then thought ****, I should fix a time to see her again. So I went back, asked her what she was doing tonight; she said she was busy; tomorrow? Had something to attend to; day after? She said she was at work. I said, when do you finish work? She says between 5 and 7, but it's in Earls Court. So I said no problem! THEN she said OKAY!

So later on I text her with what was in hindsight a godawfully cheesy message:

Hey gorgeous! Hope you're looking forward to Thursday For you, I'll crack out the... wine? suit? x

To which she immediately replies:

"Hi sorry I think you might have got the wrong idea. Maybe it would be best if we didn't do Thursday."

Advice I got from some girls was that the best thing would be not to persevere immediately ("because that's predictable") but to concede, at which point she would then feel remorse ("like something's been taken away") and so next time I see her she would be more likely to be open to me again. So I wrote:

[Name], I was just kidding, I don't wear suits, and I don't drink! But no problem, have a good week.

To which she responded:

Have good week too

So what do I do here? She appreciated the conversation, I thought it went well; yes, it took a bit of perseverence but I got her to agree to a meetup. Yes, I realise I shouldn't have made the text so cheesy.

Anyhow, can I get her to reconsider? Or is this a lost cause?
You most probably creeped her out.
No offence.
Bits in bold are where you went wrong.
0
reply
RightSaidJames
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#24
Report 8 years ago
#24
In future, tell her she looks nice/pretty instead of gorgeous, don't persevere so much when she makes excuses, and leave out the cheesy text.
0
reply
phen
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#25
Report 8 years ago
#25
(Original post by Indieboohoo)
Is there any point using anon, if she uses this wouldn't she not notice the text?
Friends, who wouldn't recognize the text, might not notice. He might not want his friends to know he sent a text like.. that. So there is a point in using anon.
0
reply
un-jardin-sur-le-nil
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#26
Report 8 years ago
#26
Just leave it. Its a lost cause. soz.
0
reply
LooCee
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#27
Report 8 years ago
#27
(Original post by Anonymous)
So I went back, asked her what she was doing tonight; she said she was busy; tomorrow? Had something to attend to; day after? She said she was at work. I said, when do you finish work? She says between 5 and 7, but it's in Earls Court. So I said no problem! THEN she said OKAY!
Forgive me if I'm being really stupid, but I don't get where she actually agreed to go out with you? You asked what time she finished work, she said between 5pm and 7pm but it's in Earl's Court (ie. hint hint it's too far away or something), you said no problem and then she said ok. You didn't say anything like 'No problem, I'll come and meet you after work then', you just said 'no problem' which if I was her I would have taken as, 'no problem, i get the hint, you don't want to meet up' and so thought I was just saying generally ok, not 'ok then come and meet me'. Obviously I can't tell exactly how the conversation went from your description.

So then when you texted her, she probably thought, hang on a minute, when did I agree to this? And then told you that you had the wrong idea. Or she thought you meant just as friends. If I was a uni/college student I'd be pretty freaked out if a guy started talking about wearing suits and drinking wine on a date, it all sounds way too formal!

Definitely leave it, she's already been good about it by telling you that she's not interested, whereas she could have just ignored you and stood you up. She's made it clear that she doesn't want to go out with you so to continue trying it on would just embarrass both of you.
0
reply
barefootfiona
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#28
Report 8 years ago
#28
(Original post by Shadowplay)
Don't contact her any more, she doesn't want to go out with you. Trust me.
O.O OMG, are you her?

OP, I think this is just something you've got to learn and move on from. It looks to me like she felt bad about saying no to your face and was hesitant in agreeing. Cancelling via text (which is what she did) is a lot easier than turnign someone down to their face. I think the 'I think you've got the wrong idea' was pretty clear.

I think someone's already mentioned this, but try not to come across like an eager puppy with no social life - I'm not saying you are one, but you only have a small window to make a first impression on someone, and asking six times (which you basically did) can be very intimidating, and off putting for someone who wasn't sure in the first place!

Don't fret
0
reply
black_mac29
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#29
Report 8 years ago
#29
(Original post by Anonymous)
So I saw a gorgeous girl today at university who I have fancied like mad for a while. Sat down and spoke to her (she was sitting on her own). We conversed for a while, I flirted, then I told her that I thought she was gorgeous. She said thanks and beamed. Everything was great; I already had her number from before and I said it would be great to see her again some time for a catch up. She agreed, I said I would get in touch. Walked away and then thought ****, I should fix a time to see her again. So I went back, asked her what she was doing tonight; she said she was busy; tomorrow? Had something to attend to; day after? She said she was at work. I said, when do you finish work? She says between 5 and 7, but it's in Earls Court. So I said no problem! THEN she said OKAY!

So later on I text her with what was in hindsight a godawfully cheesy message:

Hey gorgeous! Hope you're looking forward to Thursday For you, I'll crack out the... wine? suit? x

To which she immediately replies:

"Hi sorry I think you might have got the wrong idea. Maybe it would be best if we didn't do Thursday."

Advice I got from some girls was that the best thing would be not to persevere immediately ("because that's predictable") but to concede, at which point she would then feel remorse ("like something's been taken away") and so next time I see her she would be more likely to be open to me again. So I wrote:

[Name], I was just kidding, I don't wear suits, and I don't drink! But no problem, have a good week.

To which she responded:

Have good week too

So what do I do here? She appreciated the conversation, I thought it went well; yes, it took a bit of perseverence but I got her to agree to a meetup. Yes, I realise I shouldn't have made the text so cheesy.

Anyhow, can I get her to reconsider? Or is this a lost cause?
forget it. for now at least. just see it as a lost cause unless fate puts both of you in a perfect situation where you only know each other or something. dont contact her. DONT contact her!
lol^
but seriously, you were too forward. For next time, when u say "lets meet up some time", dont arrange a date until the next time you see her, unless ur sure she's eager.
0
reply
Anonymous #3
#30
Report 8 years ago
#30
Oh well
reply
inksplodge
  • CV Helper
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#31
Report 8 years ago
#31
It sounds like she isn't interested in you, to be blunt...
0
reply
Anonymous #3
#32
Report 8 years ago
#32
She Doesn't want you.
reply
zKlown
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#33
Report 8 years ago
#33
(Original post by Anonymous)
So I saw a gorgeous girl today at university who I have fancied like mad for a while. Sat down and spoke to her (she was sitting on her own). We conversed for a while, I flirted, then I told her that I thought she was gorgeous. She said thanks and beamed. Everything was great; I already had her number from before and I said it would be great to see her again some time for a catch up. She agreed, I said I would get in touch. Walked away and then thought ****, I should fix a time to see her again. So I went back, asked her what she was doing tonight; she said she was busy; tomorrow? Had something to attend to; day after? She said she was at work. I said, when do you finish work? She says between 5 and 7, but it's in Earls Court. So I said no problem! THEN she said OKAY!

So later on I text her with what was in hindsight a godawfully cheesy message:

Hey gorgeous! Hope you're looking forward to Thursday For you, I'll crack out the... wine? suit? x

To which she immediately replies:

"Hi sorry I think you might have got the wrong idea. Maybe it would be best if we didn't do Thursday."

Advice I got from some girls was that the best thing would be not to persevere immediately ("because that's predictable") but to concede, at which point she would then feel remorse ("like something's been taken away") and so next time I see her she would be more likely to be open to me again. So I wrote:

[Name], I was just kidding, I don't wear suits, and I don't drink! But no problem, have a good week.

To which she responded:

Have good week too

So what do I do here? She appreciated the conversation, I thought it went well; yes, it took a bit of perseverence but I got her to agree to a meetup. Yes, I realise I shouldn't have made the text so cheesy.

Anyhow, can I get her to reconsider? Or is this a lost cause?
Nothing wrong with that text, I think it just confirmed to her that she made a bit of a rash desision and she ain't that into you...

Smooth move tho...
0
reply
NW86
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#34
Report 8 years ago
#34
(Original post by Anonymous)
So I saw a gorgeous girl today at university who I have fancied like mad for a while. Sat down and spoke to her (she was sitting on her own). We conversed for a while, I flirted, then I told her that I thought she was gorgeous. She said thanks and beamed. Everything was great; I already had her number from before and I said it would be great to see her again some time for a catch up. She agreed, I said I would get in touch. Walked away and then thought ****, I should fix a time to see her again. So I went back, asked her what she was doing tonight; she said she was busy; tomorrow? Had something to attend to; day after? She said she was at work. I said, when do you finish work? She says between 5 and 7, but it's in Earls Court. So I said no problem! THEN she said OKAY!
This has nothign to do with the text. Take a god damn hint man, she turned you down 3 times in that conversation and you didn't take a hint. Leave her alone.

AT NO POINT DID SHE AGREE TO MEET YOU
0
reply
User237126
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#35
Report 8 years ago
#35
This is why I'll probably only ever have girls as friends... over-eagerness combined with nervousness the minute the threashold between friend and something more is crossed means I put every girl off, every time, guaranteed, or your money back!
0
reply
thisisyesterday
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#36
Report 8 years ago
#36
(Original post by Indieboohoo)
Is there any point using anon, if she uses this wouldn't she not notice the text?

This was my initial reaction, but then I thought that maybe he just doesn't want people on here to know who he is.
0
reply
O-Ren
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#37
Report 8 years ago
#37
She didn't want to meet in the first place
0
reply
this-is-sparta
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#38
Report 8 years ago
#38
Learn from your mistakes and don't use cheesy texts in the future.
0
reply
microfatcat
Badges: 14
#39
Report 8 years ago
#39
When I was going out with my ex a year ago, I ended up dumping him because he always wanted to meet me after work. Or I used a work party as an excuse (it was a real one though) and he was like "I'll walk you home!!" and I was like "No I'm taxi sharing" and he was like "I'll sit in the taxi with you!!!1" and I was like "NO I'm sharing a taxi with a 40yo woman, it will be weird". And after work, we wouldn't agree to meet up, he would just show up at the end. I used to go through the back entrance and then I'd get home and get a text saying "Where are you? I'm at your work and you haven't got out yet." aaaaarghh!

...
are you my ex?


Okay, constructive criticism: you flattered her, she was polite, but she's not into you. Your best chance is to get hot, get better at dating, and try again in a few weeks after becoming friends with you.
reply
concubine
Badges: 15
Rep:
?
#40
Report 8 years ago
#40
Yeah, sounds like she was never interested but good job on making a complete tit of yourself. :P
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Brexit: Given the chance now, would you vote leave or remain?

Remain (1375)
79.53%
Leave (354)
20.47%

Watched Threads

View All
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise