Ignore your mum.
She obviously already has a set idea of what a wedding should be.
They shouldn't. It'd be your wedding, you'd do it how you wanted.
Good on you for not thinking it's a day purely for the bride!
It is not your mum's wedding. It is yours. She had her wedding now is the time for YOU.
I've had this conversation, my girlfriend is anti church, I am very keen to get married in a church, not that i've been brought up being religious, it jsut feels right.
Is it a deal breaker for me? No, if I get to spend my life with her, I dont care where it is.
I don't necessarily have to marry in a church, but there would have to be a christian aspect to the ceremony.
If my wife was anti-God, anti-Christ then I would have a problem with that, for me it's not so much about the religion.
I'm not really religious, but I'd like to get married in church anyways.. But it would definitely not be a dealbreaker!
Probably not, although it is very much my preference. Maybe.
I would prefer a wedding in a nice outdoor venue, eg: Beach, Countryside, etc... as it's nicer and cheaper. But I wouldn't mind if my bride had her heart set on a church wedding.
Churches are cool. Religion is not. Just have a secular ceremony in a decommisioned church. Everyones a winner.
OP, who are you marrying, your boyfriend or your mum? ffs.
I've been brought up with church weddings being the norm and so it feels like a default choice for a venue, but when I think about it I realise I don't give a **** and will probably be happy even if I elope and get married in my pyjamas.
Also, if I got married in a church I'd feel a bit weird. I don't think I want God to have any part in my marriage, even if it's just for ceremony and tradition. I don't think I want the blessings and whatnot, I'd feel a terrible fraud and I'd be all "God can keep his nose out of my wedding".
who are these people in the UK that are getting brought up as a christian??? There was one person in my whole year at school who was religious and she was seen as a freak and she stopped being religious by 17...I haven't seen her for like 4-5 years and I don't know 1 single christian and live in a 95%+ white area. Most my mates like me haven't been christian'd either..I don't really see the point of marriage...is there any point to it...apart from feeling trapped and being screwed over by divorce courts.
I'd never get married in a church. Firstly because I can't - I haven't been christened. But also because to me the whole point of getting married in church is so it's a union between the two people and God. If you don't believe in God then there's no need to get married in church.
I'd not get married in a church. I'd feel a burning shame as I affirmed vows of love and commitment, ratifying them on the authority of a being that I was making a poor show pretending to believe in, merely to mollify the local Hyacinth Buckets. No, anyone who'd marry me wouldn't do it there.
I think not wanting (or being willing to go through) a church wedding would be a deal breaker...but then again, if our beliefs/philosophies were so far apart I doubt we'd be getting married anyway.
My brother and his girlfriend want to get married in a church (well, my brother's girlfriend does) even though neither of them believe in God. It's mostly because his girlfriend's mother got married in a particular church and she wants to get married there too, but I think at the end of the day they, and anyone else who wants to get married in a church solely for traditions sake are missing the point.
Church weddings are religious first and foremost; it is meant to be a union between two people and God (no matter how silly I think that sounds) and if you stand there and make promises without believing in any of it, it kind of makes your marriage vows a lie and you a hypocrite. Getting married is a serious comittment so it should have real meaning to you and to have meaning I think it needs to be honest most of all, and I don't see how it ever can be if that inherently religious element of a church goes completely against what you believe.
So yeah, getting married in a church would be a serious dealbreaker for me.
My parents got married on a beach in the Seyschelles (my mum's first marriage, in a church, was to a "christian" guy who ran off with her money, thus displaying a fairly majorly lack of understanding in his own religion). Anyway, they got married on the beach, with mum wearing a blue dress and are still happily together 25 years afterwards.
So yeah, if I do get married ever it would hopefully be in a vineyard in Italy/ a beach somewhere.
I'm not religious and don't think I could spend my life with someone who was religious enough for marriage in a church to be a dealbreaker.