GCSE English Literature-URGENT Essay help Watch

Junaid16
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#21
Report Thread starter 8 years ago
#21
(Original post by defuzion)
(may or may not be intentional) but learn how to use commas appropriately
enlighten me , what is wrong with my use of commas?
0
reply
defuzion
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#22
Report 8 years ago
#22
(Original post by Junaid16)
enlighten me , what is wrong with my use of commas?
Use commas, like this.

Not... like , this.

Notice that the space only occurs after the comma, not before.
0
reply
Junaid16
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#23
Report Thread starter 8 years ago
#23
(Original post by defuzion)
Use commas, like this.

Not... like , this.

Notice that the space only occurs after the comma, not before.
Oh ok thanks i thought, you meant that i was using them incorrectly.
0
reply
tehforum
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#24
Report 8 years ago
#24
Someone explain a "conceptualised response", please?

Many thanks.
0
reply
Legendary-A-Sonic
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#25
Report 8 years ago
#25
I am almost certain you do not need an introduction or conclusion. Forgive me if I'm wrong, it might be a requirement on another exam board, but from what my English teacher has taught us, intros and conclusions are a waste of time. If you wanted to include the point about racism in the 1930s and 2010, that would fit just as well into the paragraph about Crooks. If you really think it's necessary to write an introduction, I'd leave a couple of lines at the beginning and come back to it at the end - the core development of your essay is the most important thing.

Also, make sure you reference the author's name at least once in your essay, preferably once in each paragraph. Even though you've made differentiation between real life and fiction (by the use of 'character' and such) this makes it extra clear. It's also important because for a high grade answer you need to talk about the author's intent and effect - which is pretty difficult to do without mentioning his name. For example, when you said:

Moreover, Curley's wife is described as having 'red fingernails'

you could easily reference Steinbeck:

Moreover, Steinbeck describes Curley's wife as having 'red fingernails'

In that way, you have instantly made the reader aware that when you follow with the effect of that technique, it is a deliberate device Steinbeck used, and not just your speculation on the phrase.


Finally, just a couple of small points:
- instead of saying 'hints towards' ('This hints towards an unhappy ending') say 'foreshadows' - it's a technical term and a technique which will gain you marks

- try to support your points with quotes. You go through the whole of the paragraph about Crooks without quoting; perhaps find a quote to support your point about Crooks being racially discriminated against. It makes your argument stronger and it will help towards your grade

- as boring and redundant as it sounds, try and make explicit reference to technique. Your interpretation and description of effect is fantastic, but a well structured point is based on effect created by language, form or structure; there's a really good post about it here:
http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=390240
e.g. cyclical narrative, aural imagery, motifs...
I can see how it may have been more difficult to include these in this essay theme, but still try. For example, you could use the point about Curley's wife's nails and mention 'colour imagery'.

- 'red' is a word, or colour, not a phrase.


I'm sorry if this seemed really critical, it's not meant to be; you've got the beginnings of a really good essay. I hope my advice wasn't really misguided - if it's completely against what your teacher told you, ignore me; but I'm pretty sure these points compliment the mark scheme of most exam boards. Just out of interest, what exam board are you on? Is it AQA? I have that English Lit exam on the same day.

Hope I was some help. Good luck with your exam!
0
reply
Junaid16
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#26
Report Thread starter 8 years ago
#26
(Original post by Legendary-A-Sonic)
I am almost certain you do not need an introduction or conclusion. Forgive me if I'm wrong, it might be a requirement on another exam board, but from what my English teacher has taught us, intros and conclusions are a waste of time. If you wanted to include the point about racism in the 1930s and 2010, that would fit just as well into the paragraph about Crooks. If you really think it's necessary to write an introduction, I'd leave a couple of lines at the beginning and come back to it at the end - the core development of your essay is the most important thing.

Also, make sure you reference the author's name at least once in your essay, preferably once in each paragraph. Even though you've made differentiation between real life and fiction (by the use of 'character' and such) this makes it extra clear. It's also important because for a high grade answer you need to talk about the author's intent and effect - which is pretty difficult to do without mentioning his name. For example, when you said:

Moreover, Curley's wife is described as having 'red fingernails'

you could easily reference Steinbeck:

Moreover, Steinbeck describes Curley's wife as having 'red fingernails'

In that way, you have instantly made the reader aware that when you follow with the effect of that technique, it is a deliberate device Steinbeck used, and not just your speculation on the phrase.


Finally, just a couple of small points:
- instead of saying 'hints towards' ('This hints towards an unhappy ending') say 'foreshadows' - it's a technical term and a technique which will gain you marks

- try to support your points with quotes. You go through the whole of the paragraph about Crooks without quoting; perhaps find a quote to support your point about Crooks being racially discriminated against. It makes your argument stronger and it will help towards your grade

- as boring and redundant as it sounds, try and make explicit reference to technique. Your interpretation and description of effect is fantastic, but a well structured point is based on effect created by language, form or structure; there's a really good post about it here:
http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=390240
e.g. cyclical narrative, aural imagery, motifs...
I can see how it may have been more difficult to include these in this essay theme, but still try. For example, you could use the point about Curley's wife's nails and mention 'colour imagery'.

- 'red' is a word, or colour, not a phrase.


I'm sorry if this seemed really critical, it's not meant to be; you've got the beginnings of a really good essay. I hope my advice wasn't really misguided - if it's completely against what your teacher told you, ignore me; but I'm pretty sure these points compliment the mark scheme of most exam boards. Just out of interest, what exam board are you on? Is it AQA? I have that English Lit exam on the same day.

Hope I was some help. Good luck with your exam!

Thanks you so much!!, your feedback has been very constructive. I was under the illusion that for OMAM there was not much empathsis on language techniques it was more to do with the analytical side. Yes i am on AQA,A , I'm dreading this exam.
0
reply
Legendary-A-Sonic
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#27
Report 8 years ago
#27
I'm really glad you found it useful. From what you wrote, you seem like a natural writer, so I'm sure you'll be absolutely fine; it's just all about getting those darn assessment objective boxes ticked! I do hope it goes well (for the both of us! ) and hopefully we'll get a good question.

And you're right, OMAM does have a lot of great stuff to analyse, and that's an area where you can really focus on in an essay, but if you can make a point about language go for it. In the end, I think it's more about finding a balance and what techniques really fit with what the question asks for.

Good luck for Tuesday - let us know how it goes!

edit: just forgot to mention something and added it in
0
reply
Junaid16
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#28
Report Thread starter 8 years ago
#28
(Original post by Legendary-A-Sonic)
I'm really glad you found it useful. From what you wrote, you seem like a natural writer, so I'm sure you'll be absolutely fine; it's just all about getting those darn assessment objective boxes ticked! I do hope it goes well (for the both of us! ) and hopefully we'll get a good question.

Good luck for Tuesday - let us know how it goes!
Thanks, i really can't believe how you know all this stuff and your in the same year as me, you must have a really GOOD teacher. So in the exam i should focus on embedding more quotes and techniques ?
0
reply
Senalik
Badges: 0
#29
Report 8 years ago
#29
hello i know this is about of mice and men. but can some please explain me how we need to structure the poem of heaney and clarker. thanks

also in your onpinon what poems do you think will come up?
0
reply
Legendary-A-Sonic
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#30
Report 8 years ago
#30
(Original post by Junaid16)
Thanks, i really can't believe how you know all this stuff and your in the same year as me, you must have a really GOOD teacher. So in the exam i should focus on embedding more quotes and techniques ?
Yeah, we've got a great teacher. She's taken everyone in our class up about 2 grade boundaries in the two years of GCSE we've had her.

I think what you suggested seems about right - don't make it a priority to embed quotes just for the sake of having them, but do make sure to support your statements with quotes where you can. You'll naturally do this when making a point about language anyway, but when talking about the structure of the novel, or a thematic/contextual point, try and find a quote (even just a few words) that shows your point is supported by the text, and not just something you've made up off the top of your head!

Mentioning techniques is always good, as (in the same way that quotes give gravity to a statement) it shows that you understand how the author has made an effect on the reader - if that makes sense. From your essay posted on here, it seems like you already write brilliantly about effect.

Thought this might help too:
http://store.aqa.org.uk/qual/gcse/qp...W-MS-JUN08.PDF

It's the AQA mark scheme for English Lit from a few years ago. I'm of course no authority, this is just what I've been taught, but the mark scheme shows what the examiner is looking for at each level; it might give you an idea of where you're at/aiming and what an examiner looks for in a top grade answer.

Hope this doesn't get to you too late - and I know I've said it a thousand times, but I hope tomorrow goes well. Fingers crossed!
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

University open days

  • University of the Arts London
    MA Design: Ceramics, Furniture or Jewellery Open Day Postgraduate
    Fri, 25 Jan '19
  • Coventry University
    Undergraduate Open Day Undergraduate
    Sat, 26 Jan '19
  • Brunel University London
    Undergraduate Experience Days Undergraduate
    Sat, 26 Jan '19

Do you think the internet has made political discussion more aggressive?

Yes (53)
98.15%
No (1)
1.85%

Watched Threads

View All