boyfriend wont let me go round to his place Watch

BeckysLover
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#21
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#21
He's an orphan, he's ashamed of not having a family and is living alone. Has he claimed to have 12 brothers? His place isn't a mess but full of books, he doesn't want you thinking less of him. His favourite past time is solving problems set by professors that would normally challenge a very able grad sudent.
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Rock68
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#22
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#22
(Original post by forgetful-fairy)
Is it an unusual for the lack of conversation? If he's acting suspicious now then I think it's time for the talk.

EDIT: Mind you, there might be some issues that he can't explain that don't relate to cheating on you, I can get jealous or paranoid about my boyfriend and he really hasn't done anything wrong, you need to talk to him again to sort it, just tell him to be honest.
VERY unusual we always are texting so been a hard couple of days. when I confronted him a few days ago it was because I offered to come round and he turned down the offer and not being the first time he has done this I confronted him and said whatever the reason I'd rather you be honest and thats when he told me the messy thing than i again asked him to be honest and if there was more to it and we havent spoken since. just dont know where to go from here
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Z-6H820
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#23
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(Original post by BeckysLover)
He's an orphan, he's ashamed of not having a family and is living alone. Has he claimed to have 12 brothers? His place isn't a mess but full of books, he doesn't want you thinking less of him. His favourite past time is solving problems set by professors that would normally challenge a very able grad sudent.
lol! I love that movie
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Mess.
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#24
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#24
Do you smell really bad?
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BeckysLover
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#25
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(Original post by conway!)
lol! I love that movie
Yay, someone picked it up. Thought the effort wasn't going to be worth it.
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kog
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#26
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#26
perhaps he thinks that dead body behind the sofa may be a bit off-putting?
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forgetful-fairy
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#27
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Just pick up the conversation once more, if he keeps the story up he maybe just feels really uncomfortable there, at the end of the day it's your decision, without proof of any other relationship then you can't exactly end it based on that but if you think he's lying you'll end up not trusting him anyway. Put up with it if it's worth it, he might be having a think about things anyway, just talk to him again soon and see what he has to say.
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terri55
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#28
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Thats quite strange he hasn't spoke to you since you confronted him. Is he an easy person to upset?
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Rock68
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#29
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#29
(Original post by forgetful-fairy)
Just pick up the conversation once more, if he keeps the story up he maybe just feels really uncomfortable there, at the end of the day it's your decision, without proof of any other relationship then you can't exactly end it based on that but if you think he's lying you'll end up not trusting him anyway. Put up with it if it's worth it, he might be having a think about things anyway, just talk to him again soon and see what he has to say.
so do you think its worth dropping him another text still discussing this matter or jus a general hey you ok? text as im worried he's either going to think that its ok and ive backed down or that he might take the stance that im in the wrong for questioning him?
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Rock68
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#30
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#30
(Original post by terri55)
Thats quite strange he hasn't spoke to you since you confronted him. Is he an easy person to upset?
dont think ive upsetted him before ever. this is the first time we've ever stopped talking like this - but that may be due to me backing down usually
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steeler4life
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#31
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#31
(Original post by Rock68)
i very much doubt hes married
He might be.
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*Star*Guitar*
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#32
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(Original post by Rock68)
so do you think its worth dropping him another text still discussing this matter or jus a general hey you ok? text as im worried he's either going to think that its ok and ive backed down or that he might take the stance that im in the wrong for questioning him?
You can ask if he's ok but I wouldn't back down. If it was really because of some mess then he can prove it by letting you come over and see it. Or if he's genuinely messy and doesn't clean he can bloody well make it and keep it tidy the odd night for you to come over.
I would not be happy about how he's been acting, personally.
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forgetful-fairy
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#33
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(Original post by Rock68)
so do you think its worth dropping him another text still discussing this matter or jus a general hey you ok? text as im worried he's either going to think that its ok and ive backed down or that he might take the stance that im in the wrong for questioning him?
I think you should text him a general text, see how he replies, don't bring it up again immediately but within the next few days, if he thinks you're wrong for questioning him then that's not good, and if he responds weirdly again you'll have to tell him you're not putting up with it.
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CrookedLegs
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#34
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Is his name Tony? If it is, he's probably got the foot of a person he's killed in his sink.
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forgetful-fairy
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#35
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(Original post by *Star*Guitar*)
You can ask if he's ok but I wouldn't back down. If it was really because of some mess then he can prove it by letting you come over and see it. Or if he's genuinely messy and doesn't clean he can bloody well make it and keep it tidy the odd night for you to come over.
I would not be happy about how he's been acting, personally.
Agreed, if it is just mess, say it'd mean alot to you if he'd tidy it up or just explain for once (and you'll try not to judge him) why he won't let you come round.
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Rock68
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#36
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#36
(Original post by *Star*Guitar*)
You can ask if he's ok but I wouldn't back down. If it was really because of some mess then he can prove it by letting you come over and see it. Or if he's genuinely messy and doesn't clean he can bloody well make it and keep it tidy the odd night for you to come over.
I would not be happy about how he's been acting, personally.
you dont think this is inconsiderate of me as he has little personal space? what would you suggest I say next to let him know im talking but not backing down?
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Rock68
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#37
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(Original post by forgetful-fairy)
I think you should text him a general text, see how he replies, don't bring it up again immediately but within the next few days, if he thinks you're wrong for questioning him then that's not good, and if he responds weirdly again you'll have to tell him you're not putting up with it.
slightly worried he wont text back and if he does dont know what i should say to him that this is still an issue
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CrookedLegs
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#38
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#38
(Original post by *Star*Guitar*)
You can ask if he's ok but I wouldn't back down. If it was really because of some mess then he can prove it by letting you come over and see it. Or if he's genuinely messy and doesn't clean he can bloody well make it and keep it tidy the odd night for you to come over.
I would not be happy about how he's been acting, personally.
Yeah I completely agree with this; his room can't be so messy that it hasn't been moderately (or can't be) clean in two years. Whenever my girlfriend says she's coming round, I'll make an effort to tidy it.

I wouldn't immediately think that he's hiding something but if he continues to be so reticent about you coming over, pressure him into explaining what is actually happening. He's being unreasonable.
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*Star*Guitar*
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#39
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(Original post by Rock68)
you dont think this is inconsiderate of me as he has little personal space? what would you suggest I say next to let him know im talking but not backing down?
I'm sorry but after 2 years of being together, I do not see the odd few hours spent at his as totally invading his personal space. He's shunning the issue and if you drop it, he'll consider he's gotten away with whatever it is he's unwilling to explain. So you either allow that to happen, or you don't, and risk splitting up, but with what seems like good reason.
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feedz
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#40
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2 yrs and personal privacy? wut the heck , there definitly someone else in the equation, setting a gf off and actin dat way hmm...
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