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Who should get the blame for bullying? The victim or the aggressor? Watch

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    And I'm not saying it's anybody's fault. I'm saying that creating defences against bullying is key.
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    (Original post by CharlieBee_90)
    Glad to hear it, but since you have never been bullied how can you say that the victims are able to resolve the situation when you have never been in it yourself?

    Victims can always go to an adult they trust, but that never guarantees success. Bullies pick on people they know are an easy target, mentally and physically. They often form groups and isolate one person. When you are one person against a group, it's not exactly that simple.
    Yep fully agree with you i was the quiet one who just got on with it but got all the c**p,
    • gorm
    • freak
    • boffin
      • four eyed freak
      • your dads shop is c**p

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    You can make anyone feel like absolute zero in life. Who ever he is. Just using words. If a person getting bullied - he is bad with words.
    Same with actually talking to the agressor. I mean ... yes there are idiots who just don't understand normal communication - but if no just go to line 1.
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    (Original post by rajandkwameali)
    No.

    I just think it's both parties that must resolve the situation.
    :rofl:

    If bullies responded to reason, they would not be bullies in the first place. Once someone has decided to bully someone else, the actions of their victim become irrelevant. They continue to bully no matter what. Those are the kind of people we're dealing with.

    I understand they have often been poorly brought up or have some issue of their own, but that's stuff that needs to be fixed by a psychiatrist, not some random kid who happens to be a victim.
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    Nobody deserves to get bullied. However If someone is being bullied because they are fat it's not as bad as people thinks, the bully is just telling her to lose weight in the least tactful way.

    'sides, the only person who makes you feel **** is yourself - 'cause you're accepting the **** the bully is throwing at you as truth.
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    Wow. I think thats all I can say. The OP is a massive ****.
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    (Original post by Blueflare)
    :rofl:

    If bullies responded to reason, they would not be bullies in the first place. Once someone has decided to bully someone else, the actions of their victim become irrelevant. They continue to bully no matter what. Those are the kind of people we're dealing with.

    I understand they have often been poorly brought up or have some issue of their own, but that's stuff that needs to be fixed by a psychiatrist, not some random kid who happens to be a victim.
    Bullying is managed by teaching the bully how to react in given situations. It is also managed by teaching the victim how to overcome it, and stop being a victim.

    Life is not so black and white to presume that one party has to take all of the responsibility, whatever form that takes.
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    (Original post by rajandkwameali)
    Your point is a non sequitur.
    Possibly, but I felt it appropriate when dealing someone as ignarus as yourself.
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    lol.. How is what I am saying wrong? What is wrong in teaching both the victim and the bully means to resolve the situation?

    The victim needs counselling and confidence to resolve it. The bully needs to be taught social skills and how to interact healthily with others.
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    (Original post by rajandkwameali)
    Bullying is managed by teaching the bully how to react in given situations. It is also managed by teaching the victim how to overcome it, and stop being a victim.

    Life is not so black and white to presume that one party has to take all of the responsibility, whatever form that takes.
    I walk past a bully, completely normally, and they shout FAT ****GG at me. I'm not fat or a ****. How is that my fault?
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    (Original post by rajandkwameali)
    Bullying is managed by teaching the bully how to react in given situations. It is also managed by teaching the victim how to overcome it, and stop being a victim.

    Life is not so black and white to presume that one party has to take all of the responsibility, whatever form that takes.
    Why should a victim take any responsibility? How can one be taught to "stop being a victim"?
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    Well, the aggressor, obviously.

    But it is also not good for the victim to be babied. In life you have to learn how to lay the smackdown, real or figurative, on people who are trying to undermine you. It only gets subtler and harder to act on as you get older...
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    Quite clearly the aggressor. The victim doesn't deserve to be bullied in the first place.
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    (Original post by rajandkwameali)
    Should bullying only be managed and not eradicated?

    Should bullies be taught that difference is normal? If somebody is a Goth or emo, it's because they think differently (everybody knows that, but people disregard it for the sake of it). Should victims be taught how to defend themselves?
    What are you suggesting by that first question? Bullying allowed once a week and outlawed on all the other days? Slight bullying allowed on all days?

    Are you trying to see it from the perspective of a bully who sees it as part of human nature and that the complete supression of it in public may have more negative consequences?

    Bullying is a type of control, sometimes a very messy type of control - a punch, a verbal attack, exceeding the bounds of any authority that the person extering that control could reasonably be expected to have. The sloppiness of this kind of control leaves the person who is at the receiving end feeling uneasy, raging with injustice or even make them feel piercingly sorry in some way for the bully's cackhanded attempt at trying to assume respected authority.

    Someone who find themselves bullied more often than the norm by other people probably usually appears less emotionally capable than most people. Unfortunately, even good people may mistake this for being less intellectually stable.

    If victims are sometimes soft in some ways then, yes, a bit of control in their life could be productive for them. But it has to be measured control of a productive kind like a regular actvity- not at the hands of some equally unstable bully who takes it out on other people rather than internalising their frustrations.
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    (Original post by Blueflare)
    Why should a victim take any responsibility? How can one be taught to "stop being a victim"?
    Bullying is natural.
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    (Original post by rajandkwameali)
    Bullying is natural.
    We know that death is natural (or at least always has been, as generally agreed) and yet scientists still struggle against it by investing a fortune in new remedies to delay it and improve quality of life.

    We can debate about whether bullying is natural or just a consequence of a certain learned mindset of competitiveness that societies have engaged in for a long time that will always exist but could be made in to a minority pursuit.
    But we can still struggle against it.

    Your reply seems to suggest that we should embrace bullying or not fight it. Hence bullying could become worse.
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    No. I believe that bullying can only be managed, and not fully eradicated.
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    (Original post by rajandkwameali)
    No.

    I just think it's both parties that must resolve the situation.
    In that you assume the aggressor is rational and fair. Due to the fact they bully another, we can assume they aren't.

    You say you haven't been bullied. From the point of view of someone that has it's not always as simple as "can you stop bullying me please". It doesn't work. It almost ALWAYS take action from an outside party to stop bullying.
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    The bully, of course. What a stupid question.
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    (Original post by S129439)
    In that you assume the aggressor is rational and fair. Due to the fact they bully another, we can assume they aren't.

    You say you haven't been bullied. From the point of view of someone that has it's not always as simple as "can you stop bullying me please". It doesn't work. It almost ALWAYS take action from an outside party to stop bullying.
    The management of bullying should encompass all parties, whether schools, parents, etc.
 
 
 
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