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Best friend dating Ex Girlfriend that I'm still in love with / coping with depression Watch

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    (Original post by ponpon14)
    This must be really difficult, and i know this sounds horrible, but hte only thing that will help you is time. Maybe you could talk to your guy best friend how you feel about him seeing her? See if its for real or a fling?

    Id say you really should try and eat something though, even if its a snack or two, something is better than nothing.
    I hope you feel better soon.
    *Hugs*
    I can't talk to the guy, we drifted apart after the breakup and now I know why. He barely knew her before, I had only introduced them to each-other a few months before. I was warned that he's a **** by a few people in school (I changed school) but I didn't believe them. I'm too angry at him to talk to him anyway, and I fear that anything I say is just going to make them stronger.

    (Original post by Chad Storm)
    hi there. did u irritate her or do anythin to make her feel like crap prior to the 'time-out'?

    some friends are like your friend. they're snakes who bite when u're half-asleep. look at it this way. u've started uni, they're tons of gals out there, school load is gonna be heavy, so channel your energy to the right areas.

    its better that she threw in the white flag now rather than do so the day before your 3rd year exams. rite?

    they're definitely many other better girls out there. don't go looking for love. it'll just happen. but in the meantime, do well in uni cos paper qualifications matter the most at the end of the day.
    Hi, you're right, I didn't mention that I'd been suffering with depression before we broke up and had a few big arguments, but we made up a week or so before she threw in the towel. But it was nothing we hadn't worked through before and she knew that it wasn't my fault, we really loved each-other no matter what, and I had to go through the same thing for her the year before. She knew about my panic disorder and so did my friend, which gives me more reason to wonder why they thought it would be okay to get together?

    I'm also really concerned that this is affecting my studies, I have two assignments in for monday that I haven't started yet.
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    dude this seems to be the only way I can get hold of you :/ I'm worried about you man and it just feels like you're doing the wrong thing by shutting us all out! I'm one of your best friends and you know Im here for you, but you just dont seem to wanna talk to me. Just answer your phone man or go on Facebook, I really need to talk to you.
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    you're my best friend, of course I'm gonna get down about it, i dont want to lose you as someone i;ve been close with since I was little. I can understand that you're hurt, and do need to move on, but why should that include me, and Hannah and everyone else?
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    (Original post by jgreen)
    I've had a really rough time lately and I need someone to talk to.

    A few months ago my girlfriend of 2 years left me, we were completely head over heels in love and I was sure that she was the girl I wanted to be with forever. Then one day she told me she wasn't happy and she didn't love me anymore and needed time apart. She told me that she didn't want to be in a relationship at the moment. I didn't take this well and spent weeks in bed unable to eat or sleep, all I ever thought about was her. I contemplated suicide many times. My friends weren't sympathetic at all and pretty much just told me to get over it. One friend who I had recently become close to, and I considered my best friend, was particularly harsh about it.

    I managed to make it through that month, just. And then uni started, this was a huge help for me. An opportunity to start fresh and make a group of real friends, which I achieved, but I still thought about her every day and longed to be back together again.

    Yesterday I discovered that my now ex girlfriend is dating the friend who I had considered to be my best friend. When I got angry about it she accused me of not wanting her to be happy. I still love her with all my heart. She was my first and only kiss and I was hers. Now every time I close my eyes I see him touching her her and kissing her and her loving him back. I haven't eaten or slept since I found out.

    I have no one to talk to as I feel that all my friends have betrayed me by allowing this to happen without me knowing. I've cut off contact with everyone I knew back home. The worst thing is that he is in uni too, and she thinks that their relationship can work. If she was feeling lonely why couldn't she come back to me?

    I don't know anyone who's been in a similar situation that I can talk to about this. We were together for so long and have so many memories, how could she do this to me?

    You HAVE to hate her for this. This is the quickest way to come to terms with it.
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    you're selfish man, you think that you're completely blameless in this and that you're the victim. You're not. I;m not condoning them getting together (believe me I was pretty damn angry when i found out) but she wasn't happy for months, and the way you treated her in the weeks leading up to you guys breaking up was awful. She tried to break up with you months a few months before remember? I know what you said to her then, not gonna put it here because that wouldnt be fair on you. I mean during camping you were horrible to her, and tbh you might not even have noticed, but I did and tried to talk to you about it. Kinda shot me down a bit. You are my best friend, have been for a lot more than the last 2 years. I've always been here for you and you just want to cut me out of your life?
    Yeah, cheers.
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    (Original post by jgreen)
    I don't know about that, I've never even kissed another girl. Whenever I think about the female body I see hers, she's all I've ever known. It's like there's a barrier that I don't even want to break down.
    and therin lies part of your problem, your still holding on to what you had perfectly normal and natural but completely unhelpful. All you can see right now is her and thats something you need to get past.
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    It is a difficult one this. What happened is obviously not good, but by absolving yourself of all blame will increase the likelihood of repeating the pattern.

    You have to understand that things are not always going to go your own way. Try and look at things from a more positive perspective. How are you going to make things better in the future?

    You will need to modify your own attitudes and behaviour because what you have done in the past didn't work.

    Go out and meet people, try to bring some enjoyment into your life. People ultimately have to do what serves their own interests best. By lounging around and feeling sorry for yourself, you are damaging your own life and nobody else's.

    The best way to get over this is to lead a really good life. Sometimes a guy needs to develop a thick skin and just plough through rubbish like this. Only you can do something about this, so take responsibility and have some fun into the bargain.
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    there is two sides to a story...........
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    (Original post by jgreen)
    I've had a really rough time lately and I need someone to talk to.

    A few months ago my girlfriend of 2 years left me, we were completely head over heels in love and I was sure that she was the girl I wanted to be with forever. Then one day she told me she wasn't happy and she didn't love me anymore and needed time apart. She told me that she didn't want to be in a relationship at the moment. I didn't take this well and spent weeks in bed unable to eat or sleep, all I ever thought about was her. I contemplated suicide many times. My friends weren't sympathetic at all and pretty much just told me to get over it. One friend who I had recently become close to, and I considered my best friend, was particularly harsh about it.

    I managed to make it through that month, just. And then uni started, this was a huge help for me. An opportunity to start fresh and make a group of real friends, which I achieved, but I still thought about her every day and longed to be back together again.

    Yesterday I discovered that my now ex girlfriend is dating the friend who I had considered to be my best friend. When I got angry about it she accused me of not wanting her to be happy. I still love her with all my heart. She was my first and only kiss and I was hers. Now every time I close my eyes I see him touching her her and kissing her and her loving him back. I haven't eaten or slept since I found out.

    I have no one to talk to as I feel that all my friends have betrayed me by allowing this to happen without me knowing. I've cut off contact with everyone I knew back home. The worst thing is that he is in uni too, and she thinks that their relationship can work. If she was feeling lonely why couldn't she come back to me?

    I don't know anyone who's been in a similar situation that I can talk to about this. We were together for so long and have so many memories, how could she do this to me?
    ****, OP. That's totally harsh you're blatantly better off without the pair of them if they're going to treat you like that.

    Much as it isn't easy, sometimes you have to think "**** it" and throw yourself into what matters. You're at University, you're making a new life for yourself and it's time to move on from the past. Make the most of it, meet new people and focus on yourself. There's nothing worse than feeling like you're not in control.

    Time is a great healer too. It's probably a line that's been heard 25 million times on TSR, but it really is true. Don't hold out false hope, or no amount of time will fix the hurt. She's rejected you, so she DOESN'T deserve your love, time or consideration at all. While you won't properly forget her, you will become indifferent to her.

    It might not seem like it now, but you WILL find someone else, but you have to fix yourself first and move on.

    Good luck :console:
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    (Original post by JCresci)
    you're selfish man, you think that you're completely blameless in this and that you're the victim. You're not. I;m not condoning them getting together (believe me I was pretty damn angry when i found out) but she wasn't happy for months, and the way you treated her in the weeks leading up to you guys breaking up was awful. She tried to break up with you months a few months before remember? I know what you said to her then, not gonna put it here because that wouldnt be fair on you. I mean during camping you were horrible to her, and tbh you might not even have noticed, but I did and tried to talk to you about it. Kinda shot me down a bit. You are my best friend, have been for a lot more than the last 2 years. I've always been here for you and you just want to cut me out of your life?
    Yeah, cheers.
    I've never said I was blameless for the breakup no. This isn't about the breakup. I could never think such awful things about you, I hate that all of my friends sided against me based on false facts. We nearly broke up once a long time ago yes, but that was completely different, and whatever someone told you I said that time is not true, we made up completely after that. I don't know if you remember but I did talk to you about what was going on. I would never intentionally hurt her, I love her. If you think I'm that horrible a person then you would be glad never to see me again.

    Everything I've written on this forum is true. Yes I made mistakes in our relationship and so did she, but it was no worse than any other normal couple. Like I said I would never intentionally hurt her.
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    (Original post by houdie92)
    there is two sides to a story...........
    Even if there were a worse side to the story (I'm fairly sure that we were equally to blame for the relationship going downhill) surely that doesn't condone my best friend (someone who's supposed to be there for you no matter what you've done wrong) seeing my ex girlfriend (the person who understands me better than anyone else)
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    (Original post by LondonKev)
    It is a difficult one this. What happened is obviously not good, but by absolving yourself of all blame will increase the likelihood of repeating the pattern.

    You have to understand that things are not always going to go your own way. Try and look at things from a more positive perspective. How are you going to make things better in the future?

    You will need to modify your own attitudes and behaviour because what you have done in the past didn't work.

    Go out and meet people, try to bring some enjoyment into your life. People ultimately have to do what serves their own interests best. By lounging around and feeling sorry for yourself, you are damaging your own life and nobody else's.

    The best way to get over this is to lead a really good life. Sometimes a guy needs to develop a thick skin and just plough through rubbish like this. Only you can do something about this, so take responsibility and have some fun into the bargain.
    Thanks, I take it that you're referring to what my friend up there said. I've always taken the blame for things that went wrong in our relationship, and I can assure you that after months of pain and grieving I would never make the same mistakes again. I let depression get the better of me and took it out on her for not trying to help me. I never stopped loving her.

    I know the relationship is over, I created this thread more in reference to what I found out about a few days ago, that she's been seeing one of my best friends. That's the part that I don't know how to handle. It's so hard to find comfort in anything anymore and there hasn't been a day gone by where I haven't thought about her or dreamt about her. Now all I can think about is how I've been completely replaced in a relationship that I put so much time into, and worse yet betrayed by a good friend.
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    Those losers deserve each other. You wait until she does it to him as well.
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    (Original post by jgreen)
    Thanks, I take it that you're referring to what my friend up there said. I've always taken the blame for things that went wrong in our relationship, and I can assure you that after months of pain and grieving I would never make the same mistakes again. I let depression get the better of me and took it out on her for not trying to help me. I never stopped loving her.

    I know the relationship is over, I created this thread more in reference to what I found out about a few days ago, that she's been seeing one of my best friends. That's the part that I don't know how to handle. It's so hard to find comfort in anything anymore and there hasn't been a day gone by where I haven't thought about her or dreamt about her. Now all I can think about is how I've been completely replaced in a relationship that I put so much time into, and worse yet betrayed by a good friend.
    I'm glad you too it in the spirit the comment was intended. Just try and have a good life mate.
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    (Original post by jgreen)

    Hi, you're right, I didn't mention that I'd been suffering with depression before we broke up and had a few big arguments, but we made up a week or so before she threw in the towel. But it was nothing we hadn't worked through before and she knew that it wasn't my fault, we really loved each-other no matter what, and I had to go through the same thing for her the year before. She knew about my panic disorder and so did my friend, which gives me more reason to wonder why they thought it would be okay to get together?

    I'm also really concerned that this is affecting my studies, I have two assignments in for monday that I haven't started yet.
    i've had smart frens who who clearly had bright futures but they decided to end their precious lives by consuming large quantities of rat poison, paracetomol pills, hanging themselves all because of a girl. Its simply not worth it.

    the problem with most guys is they think they're emotionally strong and able to cope with heartbreak but in all honesty, we're super fragile.

    Its all up to u. u wanna screw your studies or u wanna push this emmerdale-like soap opera crap aside and do well for your exams. the decision is yours and this discussion ends here.
 
 
 
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