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How should my short story end? The ending i've written is boring. Watch

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    You could always pull a Kafka and never actually reveal what the guilt is
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    Why not end it without a conclusion or cliche-ridden cliffhanger? Sometimes forcing an ending can ruin the entirety of the writing.
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    Okay, here's a little update: I've finished it, almost, and i've changed it so she doesn't run over her dog, she watches her boyfriend burn their 2 year old daughter and does nothing to stop him. And at the end, instead of running and hiding from Guilt, she phones her daughter to tell her, while Guilt is busy fiddling with trying to light a match, becuase he wants to burn her hair to remind her of the incident. So she's on the phone and she tells her daughter, and she has her eyes closed cuz she's scared, then when her daughter hangs up on her, she opens her eyes, and all that's left of Guilt is burning embers. So it's like, he ended up burning himself while trying to burn her hair, but also he dissapeared cuz she told her secret. I was going to end it:
    On the naked ground before me were the glowing embers of a old flame I call Guilt.
    I like the word play with old flame, becuase it makes sense literally, and the figurative meaning suggests a finished relationship, but i'm not sure whether u should use it, becuase it was an abusive relationship, and she never loved him, she just did what he said out of fear and then got used to it. I like the idea of her having a relationship with her emotion, but 'old flame' kind of suggests someone that you really liked and you view posotively. But it works so well! I know this is really fussy, but I want to leave a lasting impression on my reader. What should I do?
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    It's gone from running over a dog to some Saw-esque torture plot involving a two year old girl and a boyfriend?

    Some things are best left to the reader's imagination, and I think the source of this "guilt" is one of them. Your other ideas have been dumb, tbh. I actually lolled when I read the bit about running over the dog, and the whole burning a 2 year old girl scenario seems a little like you're just trying to shock the reader for the sake of it.

    Leave it vague.
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    (Original post by Magical Moogles)
    I think it was a very good idea, until the dog bit. I think the guilt this character is facing should be bigger, (although killing a dog is pretty sad), it just didn't shock me.

    I think that she should continue to be tormented by this guilt, and eventually it kills her, or drives her insane! I think revealing this guilt, is a bit of an anti-climax. It sounds melodramatic, but you could be clever and subtly imply the consequence.
    I agree
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    Go for the ol' primary school classic: she woke up and it was all a dream!
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      The main character randomly murders a homeless person, and sells their meat as "fresh juicy pork". Then Kate Winslet jumps from behind a tree and is dressed as a snake. Then her liver explodes out of her abdomen for no reason.
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      you must really like dogs...
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      (Original post by doleful)
      she killed a dog? why killed? why a dog? make it something more subtle. maybe she saw something and didn't tell anyone about it, though she should have and it would have changed somebody's life/actions/whatever. I don't know. it's your story. (:
      This.

      Ending. She tells her mum then her mum kills her and says 'what have i done?' and she now has guilt following her.
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      (Original post by hollyhollywood92)
      I have a word limit, so I can't really add anything. But here's the start, "Guilt came home yesterday. He hasn’t been here for a long time. The door was locked, but he found his way in. He always does. He slides in through the tiny gap between the carpet and the door and you don’t notice him until he’s towering over you. His great shadow paints my yellow walls a rain-cloud shade of grey. I was on the phone to my daughter when he arrived. He has a habit of turning up when I phone her."
      That's really good, can I/we read it?
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      (Original post by hollyhollywood92)
      Okay, here's a little update: I've finished it, almost, and i've changed it so she doesn't run over her dog, she watches her boyfriend burn their 2 year old daughter and does nothing to stop him. And at the end, instead of running and hiding from Guilt, she phones her daughter to tell her, while Guilt is busy fiddling with trying to light a match, becuase he wants to burn her hair to remind her of the incident. So she's on the phone and she tells her daughter, and she has her eyes closed cuz she's scared, then when her daughter hangs up on her, she opens her eyes, and all that's left of Guilt is burning embers. So it's like, he ended up burning himself while trying to burn her hair, but also he dissapeared cuz she told her secret. I was going to end it:
      On the naked ground before me were the glowing embers of a old flame I call Guilt.
      I like the word play with old flame, becuase it makes sense literally, and the figurative meaning suggests a finished relationship, but i'm not sure whether u should use it, becuase it was an abusive relationship, and she never loved him, she just did what he said out of fear and then got used to it. I like the idea of her having a relationship with her emotion, but 'old flame' kind of suggests someone that you really liked and you view posotively. But it works so well! I know this is really fussy, but I want to leave a lasting impression on my reader. What should I do?
      I dont like that finish.
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      (Original post by Arekkusu)
      That's really good, can I/we read it?
      I would post it but some douche might steal it so I won't.
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      'Then suddenly out of nowhere, a giant came and killed them all'
      The End

      YUSSSS!!
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      The main character I call wendy goes to b and q buys a box of nails and an axe.Goes to the hospital.enters the resuscitation area hits a doctor with the said axe steals a sh*t tonne of nitrogen glycerine and get the hell out.LATER she park in a secluded spot makes a nail bomb .ties a red bandana round her head.And just as she is about to drive off a fox climbs through the open passenger window the foxs speaks to her telepathically and says "give me the bomb".AFTER wendy and the fox have pationate sex they go to the boy friends house the fox runs in slow motion and dives through the living room window and detonates the bomb the boy friend explodes into a shower of dust and pubes.And wendy goes to mums house to watch eastenders
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      I like the idea but I think it needs to be more subtle.

      If the this person is the personification of the protagonist's guilt then surly you shouldn't keep openly referring to guilt as it cheapens the whole effect of the metaphor?
     
     
     
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