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    (Original post by Glowy Amoeba)
    Male attention as an affirmation of their looks? Do you know how depressing that sounds? At least men are clear about their intentions so feelings are hurt less often, while women seem to enjoy teasing and misguiding naive males with attention seeking and dishonest behavior

    I do realize that women do not want to be used for sex but men's libido is not something they can change or ignore, much like many girls cannot resist their desire for unrealistic romance and the complete attention and servitude of their partner.

    I've yet to meet a girl who is sexually frustrated, yet that is a common feature of men's relationships. If girls don't give in to the lustful demands of their boyfriends, can they legitimately ask for their own needs to be met? Besides, it's not like girls actually dislike sex, their inhibition is more often than not caused by deep seated and unspoken cultural rules that prohibit promiscuity.

    A guy wanting sex doesn't mean he'll not want to pursue a relationship. In fact most guys know that the best sex is to be had with women we feel comfortable and cuddly with.

    Cheers
    Lol my anon failed. Just wanted to apologise about getting so defensive. I understand that some girls can **** tease but the wors thing that this gender conflict can bring to a guy is not getting to engage im drunken, meaningless sex. Where as women are at risk of losing a lot more.

    Casual sex is not always win-win but you can't ever blame a women for not sating your needs. A women doesn't get dressed up for you to jizz on. That is what we call 'sexual objectification' women abhor this. I was just so surprised someone was defending it so naively. We view sex differently, the lines are hazy. No one owes anyone anything. We are not your sexual objects.
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    no need to anon, there's no shame in liking tall and fit russians :P

    Just for the record, I'm not defending men's libido out of personal bitterness, I've actually met a girl who is both charming and extremely patient with my male antics I know a lot of men who become misogynistic because of their personal failings but I'm happily not one of them. Anyway...

    I have to apologize too for having put you on the defensive! I sincerely hope you have not experienced anything close to the assault scene you've described in detail. You're right to mention that fear of rape is a great concern to women. It's true that only a microscopic minority of men (usually those behind bars) have the same problem. However rape is a fairly rare occurrence (correct we if I'm wrong) as for the vast majority of men including myself aggression is an inconceivable taboo, believe it or not.

    I'm sorry if I came across as a defender of sexual objectification that was not my intent. The point I wanted to prove was that in the realm of love, requirements are painfully asymmetrical. Women do not realize how easily the pride and self esteem of a man can be crushed, despite the appearance of unfeeling and silent strength they like to wrap around themselves. Like you described in your post, women are okay with sex if it's in a cuddly environment. But doesn't that mean in the end that relationships are win-win for them since sex is not really a chore? Of course men can enjoy romance and cuddliness (I do heehee ) but it just seems like they have to do so many additional things to placate their partners. Initiating courting, buying gifts, setting up glamorous dates, having to please her friends, being patient with mood swings and "headaches", having high status is society... It's all a bit humiliating to have to jump through hoops even when you're not looking for sex but simply affection. With sex itself there is even this prevalent belief that men are automatically satisfied with any kind of performance when that is far from true. It's also a fact that straight women generally have more partners than straight men. (forgot where the source is, but there is one) The logical explanation of this statistic is that women gravitate around the alpha males (evidence of this clearly seen in real life) and ignore the rest while men generally give a chance to average females.

    As for women teasing men, my only problem with it is the lack of a link between the way you act and what you really want. You don't owe sex, but I think you do owe honesty You are not our sexual objects but we are not your puppets either.
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    #1

    How did this thread turn into a full on debate about the differences between the attitudes of men & women about sex? I only asked for some simple advice haha, oh well.
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    (Original post by ipulledhermione)
    :yep: it's all sex and the city, he did/she did mind games. And the dating ettiquitte is so screwed up, you honestly cannot be yourself if you want to supposedly succeed you have to 'wait three days before texting, count his X's, giggle at the approppriate time, not get to friendly incase your put in the friend-zone, yada yada yayaya' it's so wrong.

    The worrying thing is, this facade works. I bow down to that level, suppress the real me and all the guys want me. Attraction is so false and that is why i've quite simply given up. There is no such thing as 'boy meets girl' - it's all much more calculated than that. Sorry for the bum note. Prove me wrong and male it work xxx

    Ps. Totally understand the italians kissing bit. I was once greeted in such a manner: kiss on both cheeks, by an italian girl that i was doing a tutorial presentation with. Put a smile on my face.
    I think that's why I avoid the games of the clubs and pubs, I am tied between dating sites which I'm not sure about as they could be picky in the first place hence they resort to that, and real life, but hanging around the airport isn't a good way at meeting them haha...Though I'm not too fussed as much since getting a really good best friend, nothing much matters although when the right one comes it would be good, but I'm not holding out and thinking I will get someone as much now
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    (Original post by Flyingaround)
    I want a girl who is a friend first, I'd run a mile if I have to act all macho or something
    (Original post by ipulledhermione)
    You're just a genuine guy. That is the best kind of guy...The fact that you don't conform to the norm is good and makes you a cut above the rest (in my eyes).
    4 posts later...

    (Original post by ipulledhermione)
    I've been seeing a guy 6ft4 russian God
    :rolleyes:

    Now I just need to go find a funny signature somewhere...
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    (Original post by James Gregory)
    4 posts later...



    :rolleyes:

    Now I just need to go find a funny signature somewhere...
    There is nothing wrong with my reasoning. Yes height wise our bodies fit perfectly so he gives the best hugs. He is really... Just amazing, interesting, his views on relationship and sex, his political beliefs everything about him. If you read my post you'll have learned that i'm the one who is panting trying to get into his pants - not the other way round. He doesn't try anything on nor does he put on any facade or 'mess' with my head/play games or go by some unwritten man rules. He is modest, vibrant and his personality appeals to me. He is just himself though. He dresses in a way that i wouldn't have thought was typically mainstream or previously appealed to me, but after being with him, all things that make him him attract me (his accent, his dress sense, his dimples, his morality)

    Jeez why am i defending my attraction. He is amazing and he didn't ask me out whilst drunk or at a club. He wrote his number on my receipt when he served me. It was the cutest thing that had ever happened to me.

    Thanks for quoting me, you have reaffirmed a lot for me and helped me make a decision that i was deliberating over! Xxx
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    (Original post by ipulledhermione)
    You're just a genuine guy. That is the best kind of guy. But attraction is so fickle and very much depemdant on gentle manipulation. The fact that you don't conform to the norm is good and makes you a cut above the rest (in my eyes). If you want to find a like minded soul then look for her in a more natural environment, internet is not always the best option for picky people. I imagine that you are wonderful, attractive and appealing in your own way, you have to display that to women. Let the potential 'her' see you and appreciate you in a normal environment. Join volunteer groups, dance classes, language classes or even better: something that actually interests you. That way you will meet someone who will see you/get to know you as a person gradually and you can slowly show them what a catch you are. Am i makimg sense? Love is not the elusive, one off thing we humans have made it to be. It's chemical and it won't happen until you get out there and mix it up a bit. Challenge fate, ask someone out on a whim, don't be downhearted by rejection or failure. Find the one, make it work.

    Good luck X
    Wow.
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    Troll
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    (Original post by Mr Inquisitive)
    Wow.
    Are you going to point out a flaw in my reasoning?
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    (Original post by ipulledhermione)
    Are you going to point out a flaw in my reasoning?
    Quite the opposite, I thought it was perfect.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anonymous because I find this embarrassing and I know people who use this forum .

    I don't understand why I am so awful at 'pulling' girls in clubs because in everyday life I seem to do very well. I had several girlfriend's all the way through school/college I often get compliments from a vast variety of people saying that I'm handsome/ good looking, I'm 6'2" tall and very athletic. It's just weird, I don't particularly like approaching girls but in the past this has never been a problem because every single one of my girlfriend's approached me first. So what do I need to do?. I notice girls look at me quite a bit when I'm in the club but they never do anything else, and one girl the other day came up to me said I was beautiful and then walked off before I could say anything, I mean seriously wtf is that about? It's just annoying because I don't know what I am expected to do any more, please advice.

    Thanks.

    P.s I a genuine confused person who needs advice (not a troll).
    Girls like guys who don't put apostrophes in ****ing plurals.
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    (Original post by TimmonaPortella)
    Girls like guys who don't put apostrophes in ****ing plurals.
    They also don't like pedants.
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    (Original post by Mr Inquisitive)
    They also don't like pedants.
    oh yes they do :sexface:
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    (Original post by TimmonaPortella)
    Oh yes they do. :sexface:
    Concurred. ":sexface:"
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    (Original post by Mr Inquisitive)
    Concurred. ":sexface:"
    That, sir, is a sentence fragment.
    We can go on like this for days, if you wish; I'm the stubborner.
    :sexface::sexface::sexface::sexface::sexface::sexface::sexface::sexface::sexface:
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    (Original post by TimmonaPortella)
    That, sir, is a sentence fragment.
    We can go on like this for days, if you wish; I'm the stubborner.
    :sexface::sexface::sexface::sexface::sexface::sexface::sexface::sexface::sexface:
    Oh darn, I thought the sex face would've pacified you. :sexface:
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    (Original post by TimmonaPortella)
    That, sir, is a sentence fragment.
    We can go on like this for days, if you wish; I'm the stubborner.
    :sexface::sexface::sexface::sexface::sexface::sexface::sexface::sexface::sexface:
    i'm fair enjoying the kinky grammar based flirtations, i must admit.

    (Original post by Mr Inquisitive)
    Oh darn, I thought the sex face would've pacified you. :sexface:
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    (Original post by Mr Inquisitive)
    Oh darn, I thought the sex face would've pacified you. :sexface:
    Unfortunately not. This, on the other hand: :bl:. Hypnotic.
    :sexface:
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    (Original post by ipulledhermione)
    i'm fair enjoying the kinky grammar based flirtations, i must admit.
    I moved on to a strange banana thing. It was a more interesting route :holmes:
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    (Original post by ipulledhermione)
    There is nothing wrong with my reasoning. Yes height wise our bodies fit perfectly so he gives the best hugs. He is really... Just amazing, interesting, his views on relationship and sex, his political beliefs everything about him. If you read my post you'll have learned that i'm the one who is panting trying to get into his pants - not the other way round. He doesn't try anything on nor does he put on any facade or 'mess' with my head/play games or go by some unwritten man rules. He is modest, vibrant and his personality appeals to me. He is just himself though. He dresses in a way that i wouldn't have thought was typically mainstream or previously appealed to me, but after being with him, all things that make him him attract me (his accent, his dress sense, his dimples, his morality)

    Jeez why am i defending my attraction. He is amazing and he didn't ask me out whilst drunk or at a club. He wrote his number on my receipt when he served me. It was the cutest thing that had ever happened to me.

    Thanks for quoting me, you have reaffirmed a lot for me and helped me make a decision that i was deliberating over! Xxx
    I know what you mean, I think the other guy thought when you meant god you meant like a perfect fashiony type person. But you mean that he's just your perfect partner, and there's nothing wrong with that.
    I've worked with 20 polish people and 2 english people once and I noticed how straight and non mind games, they are. They're just down to earth and say things how they are, and are extremely polite. And you're description of him is nice
 
 
 
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