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Found out the guy I like smokes/takes the occasional pill on nights out... Watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No need to get abusive about it! It's not like I've given him a lecture on the issue...
    Well, apologies for being abusive, I'm not normally, but people with such a narrow mindset really get to me.
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    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlujizeNNQM
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    If you are very close just mention it in passing. Don't try to nag him or anything just ask him why he takes pill and stuff.
    Just say you are worried about him.
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    (Original post by JohnC2211)
    No idea why this is being negged, took the words straight out of my head, I've tried to balance it out with + rep!

    The man has a point! What kind of relationship do you envision having if all you're going to do is force your beliefs on him? If you were Catholic and he was an Atheist, would you constantly be telling him to come to church, say grace at dinner? It's his own body, and his own life, he can do whatever the hell he wants with it. If he wants to change for you, props to him, but you should never try to change someone because it's self conceited and selfish to change people to suit your own needs.

    There are 6 billion people on this planet, if you don't like the habits of one of them, find someone else!
    Right well, at least this was said in a less abusive way! I don't really get why people are talking about me forcing things on him and so on...I have not at any point said I'm going to do that. As it happens, we are both athiests so that works out, but really I'm joking, I would hardly say it can be compared to a difference in religion though!

    People that are having a go, telling me I shouldn't be trying to do this that and the next thing in trying to change him, I'm not and I haven't tried to do that thus far. I'm merely asking for opinions and if anyone has dated someone who does this.
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    (Original post by edd360)
    Well, apologies for being abusive, I'm not normally, but people with such a narrow mindset really get to me.
    I don't have a narrow mindset, and if it looks like I'm saying it makes him a bad person, then that's not what I meant at all.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Oh yeah only a pill? Pills can contain anything ..rat posion, bleech , anti freeze rat droppings etc
    That can lead to death? Brain damage? Heart problems?
    LOL and why would drug dealers put that sort of thing in pills? do you have any background knowledge to this subject? do you know why professor david nutt was asked to step down as a government advisor last year? well obviously not so i will tell you. advisers are not technically part of the government so they dont have to tow the party line, that means they are free thinkers, are free to express science fact. professor nutt (who knows far more about the dangers of drugs that you or i) compared the risks of taking ecstasy to the risks associated with horse riding. do you know anyone that horserides? im sure you do? how many of them wildly die off on a daily basis? none? thats right, because horse riding isnt particularly dangerous, and neither is taking ecstasy. all youve demonstrated here is that you have absolutely no ability to judge things for yourself, and are simply completely brainwashed by the government. professor nutt was asked to step down because he didnt have to agree with the governments unsubstantiated drugs laws and he did not do so, instead preferring to align himself with cold hard scientific fact, and the government didnt appreciate this because it undermined their ridiculous anti-drug propaganda. pull your head out your arse and actually think for yourself (or at least read up on the facts) before you start wildly judging people like this boy you like who can apparently actually think for himself. either that or can you please vacate the gene pool. jesus your comments sound like that of a fearful daily mail reader

    i mean fair enough if youve tried it and didnt like it but dont force your incorrect opinions onto other people whilst having no idea what the actual truth is.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't have a narrow mindset, and if it looks like I'm saying it makes him a bad person, then that's not what I meant at all.
    Well to me, it looks like you think he is a bad person, why else would you let it stop you being together? Okay the smell of smoke I guess it fair enough, but his use of pills will have no side effects on you, yet you say the use of pills is more of a problem then the smoking...
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    It's also partly because I haven't done pills so don't really know about the sort of affect it will have on him.
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    (Original post by edd360)
    Well to me, it looks like you think he is a bad person, why else would you let it stop you being together? Okay the smell of smoke I guess it fair enough, but his use of pills will have no side effects on you, yet you say the use of pills is more of a problem then the smoking...
    That's what I saying when I posted that other comment there. I don't know how taking pills will affect him while he's out because I haven't done it...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's also partly because I haven't done pills so don't really know about the sort of affect it will have on him.
    why judge it negatively then you complete bigot?
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    (Original post by axhdn)
    why judge it negatively then you complete bigot?
    Why can't you just dsicuss without getting abusive about it? And the message above ^ about the rat poision etc wasn't me.
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    (Original post by jonski)
    If you like him and he makes you happy theres no need to let this get in the way. You shouldn't try and change him though that will cause more problems. Just let him know that you dont like it, and you would appreciate it if he didnt do it while he was out with you because you dont like the smell, etc, but it's ok if he's just out with his mates or something? From a lads point of view, you cant say fairer than that
    Thanks for your response
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    Leave her alone, to be fair I can see where she's coming from. Drugs aren't exactly the healthiest thing in the world and if she's against them then good for her. saves a few pennies if nothing else!

    You do need to realise though that like people have said, it is his own choice at the end of the day. If you were married to him then maybe you could have more of a say, but as it is you're not even dating. If it bothers you so much just don't be around him when he does it.

    My boyfriend used to take plenty of stuff and I hated it but I wouldn't try to stop it because it's not up to me. It really upset me but I'm not sure why, but I'm pretty sure my dad's job working with drug addicts has something to do with it, as well as just anger at my boyfriend for being so stupid (yes, I don't like drugs, oh my gosh I'm a terrible person). He still smokes now and I just refuse to be around him when he does, mostly just because it stinks and is ugly.

    I don't like what he's doing, but tough. Alcohol is worse but you're not complaining about him drinking, are you? You just need to decide whether to be with him and just deal with it, or move on and find someone else.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Why can't you just dsicuss without getting abusive about it? And the message above ^ about the rat poision etc wasn't me.
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for your response
    selective reading. youre only gonna listen to the people who agree with you. there is no hope or place for you in society or humanity. again, please vacate the gene pool
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for your response
    No problem, Ive been in the same situation as your bf but my gf wasn't so understanding and....well needless to say it didnt work out lol so hopefully you can learn from our mistakes :P
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    (Original post by axhdn)
    selective reading. youre only gonna listen to the people who agree with you. there is no hope or place for you in society or humanity. again, please vacate the gene pool
    Not at all, I like differing opinions. If everyone agreed with eachother, life would be pretty boring.
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    (Original post by axhdn)
    selective reading. youre only gonna listen to the people who agree with you. there is no hope or place for you in society or humanity. again, please vacate the gene pool
    I didn't agree with her?
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    My housemate's boyfriend did drugs before they met, but found out that she didn't like the whole drugs scene after one of her friend's had died of an overdose. He quit, hasn't touched them since and they've been going out for 2 years.
    Personally I wouldn't go out with someone who does drugs in the same way that I wouldn't go out with someone who is lazy or bigoted or drinks excessively all the time. There are other points I can compromise on but I just don't find any of those things appealing.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Not at all, I like differing opinions. If everyone agreed with eachother, life would be pretty boring.
    i completely agree, but selective reading is an entirely different ballpark to differing opinions
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    (Original post by LemonKitty)
    Leave her alone, to be fair I can see where she's coming from. Drugs aren't exactly the healthiest thing in the world and if she's against them then good for her. saves a few pennies if nothing else!

    You do need to realise though that like people have said, it is his own choice at the end of the day. If you were married to him then maybe you could have more of a say, but as it is you're not even dating. If it bothers you so much just don't be around him when he does it.

    My boyfriend used to take plenty of stuff and I hated it but I wouldn't try to stop it because it's not up to me. It really upset me but I'm not sure why, but I'm pretty sure my dad's job working with drug addicts has something to do with it, as well as just anger at my boyfriend for being so stupid (yes, I don't like drugs, oh my gosh I'm a terrible person). He still smokes now and I just refuse to be around him when he does, mostly just because it stinks and is ugly.

    I don't like what he's doing, but tough. Alcohol is worse but you're not complaining about him drinking, are you? You just need to decide whether to be with him and just deal with it, or move on and find someone else.
    So I take it being with him outbalanced the fact it upset you when he took drugs? The last person I was with was practically tee-total so it was never an issue...but if it's going to bother me(even if I try not to let it etc) then I'm not sure. You can't help your feelings after all...
 
 
 
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