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i hate university - I'm so socially awkward Watch

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      (Original post by Anonymous)
      I'm at a uni in a city in Ireland
      Get drunk? That should do the trick I suppose...
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      You're feeling too sorry for yourself! Don't think about what you appear to be like and just talk. About anything. Even the weather. And always ask questions back. Make sure you're not just answering their questions and then just sitting there. Don't pity yourself - it'll make it worse! You can do something about this - it's fixable
      • #1
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      #1

      (Original post by im so academic)
      Get drunk? That should do the trick I suppose...
      i had in the first few weeks, and it was sort of fun, i just got sickened with alcohol though

      (Original post by S_123)
      You're feeling too sorry for yourself! Don't think about what you appear to be like and just talk. About anything. Even the weather. And always ask questions back. Make sure you're not just answering their questions and then just sitting there. Don't pity yourself - it'll make it worse! You can do something about this - it's fixable
      I know, you're right, just mondays are usually my loneliest days, so i feel the most sorry for myself them days. I'm probably giving off a negative vibe too. I feel too scared to act like i need people, so try to give the appearance that i'm calm and content by myself. But people must see me walking awkwardly by myself all the time, or i probably appear stand offish :\
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      (Original post by yousif92)
      YOU'RE a retard.


      Give the kid a break.
      (Original post by Anonymous)
      fair enough i'm crap at english.
      so are you, it's 'you're.'
      i suppose i'm doing an english degree so i come off worse
      Sorry people, my bad. I was joking with the OP, I guess you can't get across meaning properly on the internet
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      :console: . I know it's difficult but you'll just have to keep trying to make conversation with your flat mates, course mates etc. Also try and drop the negative assumptions, like people are only talking to you/ask if you want to do things because they pity you, if you feel sorry for yourself like that people will sense it and it will turn them off.
      • #2
      #2

      wow i could have written that exact post myself so you are not alone op.
      dnt really have much advice though other than try to ignore what you think others think of you and practise talking to people etc.
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      if you're feeling really nervous, a little bit of dutch courage will work wonders, just have a bottle of beer or something, help to loosen you up a bit, just need to be careful you don't over do it
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      Self esteem is a major issue here. If you think you're boring then other people will think you're boring too. That doesn't mean that you are boring, just that you're deliberately repressing yourself.

      My advice is to go to Student Support, or see your GP, as soon as possible... why not tomorrow if you can? Make your self esteem and your social life a priority, above all else if needs be. Everyone gets into cycles of loneliness every now and then, you're definitely not the only one, but the important thing is to break the cycle. This requires effort, may involve small failures and embarrassments along the way but in the end will be successful.

      As others have said, join a society or club, get involved in the workings of your department, maybe form a revision group or something like that? There's always plenty of opportunities to socialise at uni, but many of them involve you getting off your own back.
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      (Original post by Anonymous)
      I feel too scared to act like i need people, so try to give the appearance that i'm calm and content by myself. But people must see me walking awkwardly by myself all the time, or i probably appear stand offish :\
      This sounds exactly like me! The people on my course are very cliquey, they all got together when I was ill in the first few weeks and now I'm stuck in the polite stage with most of them. They're all like I lovee you, I miss you!!! to each other, but tbh I would feel like a freak saying that to people I've only known for a few weeks!
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      (Original post by pippa90)
      This sounds exactly like me! The people on my course are very cliquey, they all got together when I was ill in the first few weeks and now I'm stuck in the polite stage with most of them. They're all like I lovee you, I miss you!!! to each other, but tbh I would feel like a freak saying that to people I've only known for a few weeks!
      You're paying attention to the wrong people. Most people aren't that annoying/idiotic, make friends with them instead of the popular airheads.
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      (Original post by RightSaidJames)
      You're paying attention to the wrong people. Most people aren't that annoying/idiotic, make friends with them instead of the popular airheads.
      The people who aren't like that are usually either elsewhere or in another group I may ask to move groups next semester
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      (Original post by pippa90)
      The people who aren't like that are usually either elsewhere or in another group I may ask to move groups next semester
      Don't you have lectures with more people in them? But yeah, asking to move groups is a fair request, definitely worth a try.
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      (Original post by RightSaidJames)
      Don't you have lectures with more people in them? But yeah, asking to move groups is a fair request, definitely worth a try.
      Yes but we only have a couple of lectures a week. The rest of the 9-5, mon-fri is spent in the studio in our groups :mad:
      • #3
      #3

      (Original post by Anonymous)
      I'm soo boring. No one likes me. I feel so alone.
      It's like i don't know how to interact with people, i freeze, can't be myself.
      I was exactly the same. well... still am a bit. I am much closer to my flatmates than to the people on my course, although it didn't start out that way. I didn't realise how weird it would be starting a new, knowing no one. I am over 7 hours away from home by train, so I aint coming home till Christmas! but its ok. I have come to terms with the fact that i'm a quieter person, there is nothing wrong with that. I still go out with my flatmates and get smashed, just, on my course I am a bit more reserved.

      Don't try and be someone you're not. I'm not saying be completely anti-social and avoid all human interaction- but if you are trying too hard to change who you are to make friends, you are creating a persona instead of being yourself.

      Go out with your flatmates wherever possible. loosen up. it'll kick off conversations later on. if you really aren't in the mood to go out, just bury yourself in work.

      Did you see that film Yes Man? It was ****, but the message is pretty solid
      • #4
      #4

      I know this post is old, but the OP is describing exactly how I feel... I thought I was completely alone! Hope it's better for you now...
     
     
     
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