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My guy friend of 5 years has broke my heart & treated me like cr*p.. advice please? Watch

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    (Original post by ferdi.g)
    As faras I understood, you guys aren't in a proper relationship.

    Sex doesn't equal love. He can love you and still have sex with another girl.

    It seems to me that he ahs needs and because you don't want a relationship, he sees no reason why not to satisfy the needs.

    If you guys were in a proper relationship then I'd understand you being upset. But in this situation he seems to be in the right.
    We're not in a r-ship because HE doesn't want a LDR, i do want one and i told him that.

    I'm not upset that he has a FwB, i'm upset that he's sleeping with her at uni, not told me, and then tried to sleep with me at home. I just feel like he just wants someone to f**k at uni, and someone to f**k at home...
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    anyone else got an opinion?
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    Sounds as if he keeps kissing you in the hope he can get you into bed. Make it clear that you will only sleep with him if you are an actual couple, if you don;t want him coming onto you then tell him. Maybe you both need to seriously talk over about what you both want. Even if you want a relationship he needs to ditch this other girl.
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    My guy friend of 5 years has broken my heart & treated me like cr*p.. advice please?
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    well done for spurning his advances... you get what you give
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    eugh. its like watching scrubs.
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    (Original post by GirlsJstWanaHavFun)
    im to know that he's upset me like this but i literally don't want him touching me. What do you think he's doing? Does he have feelings for me, or has he just been playing me along?
    ok lemme get a few things clear

    do you want a relationship from him? told him?
    how far are you guys?

    and he doesn't have to tell you who he is shagging, and for men sex=/= love
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    (Original post by aws)
    ok lemme get a few things clear

    do you want a relationship from him? told him?
    how far are you guys?

    and he doesn't have to tell you who he is shagging, and for men sex=/= love
    Yep i've told him. He doesnt want a LDR.
    We're 3hours apart. He works weekends though, and i'm studying an intense course so can't get home often.


    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    Sounds as if he keeps kissing you in the hope he can get you into bed. Make it clear that you will only sleep with him if you are an actual couple, if you don;t want him coming onto you then tell him. Maybe you both need to seriously talk over about what you both want. Even if you want a relationship he needs to ditch this other girl.
    I made that clear att the time. We talked it over, and he just said straight out that he doesn’t want a LDR. I said I wanted a r-ship. Why does he need to ditch her?

    (Original post by Mr. Orange)
    well done for spurning his advances... you get what you give
    Oh well excuse me for not wanting to sleep with someone that I’m not in a relationship with/ with someone that doesn’t want a r-ship with me for my first time.
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    (Original post by GirlsJstWanaHavFun)


    I made that clear att the time. We talked it over, and he just said straight out that he doesn’t want a LDR. I said I wanted a r-ship. Why does he need to ditch he

    .
    Well if he doesn't want to go out with you then he's feel to keep seeing this other girl, but if he wants you in return then he can't carry on with this other girl, but it seems clear he don't want you.
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    (Original post by GirlsJstWanaHavFun)
    Yep i've told him. He doesnt want a LDR.
    We're 3hours apart. He works weekends though, and i'm studying an intense course so can't get home often.

    I made that clear att the time. We talked it over, and he just said straight out that he doesn’t want a LDR. I said I wanted a r-ship. Why does he need to ditch her?

    Oh well excuse me for not wanting to sleep with someone that I’m not in a relationship with/ with someone that doesn’t want a r-ship with me for my first time.
    ok here goes;

    he may be true in that he loves you but situation makes it awkward to be together

    therefore he doesn't want to commit because it means losing his freedom and it's not like you will meet often.

    and to add you guys were never a couple in the sense that, you never said "we are exclusive"

    there

    sorted?
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    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    Well if he doesn't want to go out with you then he's feel to keep seeing this other girl, but if he wants you in return then he can't carry on with this other girl, but it seems clear he don't want you.
    (Original post by aws)
    ok here goes;

    he may be true in that he loves you but situation makes it awkward to be together

    therefore he doesn't want to commit because it means losing his freedom and it's not like you will meet often.

    and to add you guys were never a couple in the sense that, you never said "we are exclusive"

    there

    sorted?
    Yeah.. but i'm not bothered that he's seeing her. What bothers me is that he thought it was perfectly okay to be in a FwB thing with her, then come home and try and sleep with me. Had i slept with him then it probably would have become a regular thing where whenever i was home we'd get together. So basically he would've ended up shagging her at uni and me at home. She's basically some random he met at uni last year, me and have have been very good friends for 5 years... i dont care if that how he wants to treat her.. but i can't believe he'd treat me that way
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    (Original post by GirlsJstWanaHavFun)
    He was sleeping with her before he made a proper attempt at sleeping with me.

    Despite what he said because he doesn't want a LDR with me, and its not even that far, i don't feel like he really does feel the way he says he does. If he liked me enough he'd put up with the distance.

    I don't care that he's sleeping with her, its him sleeping with her at uni... not mentioning it to me... then trying to sleep with me at home. Its like he just wants to have someone 'waiting' for him at home, while still having someone at uni.

    How have i **** teased him? He doesn't want a r-ship, i am a virgin and therefore i don't want to lose it on a ONS, i want to be in a r-ship where i know the guy really does care about me. He knows this.
    well then he obviously, as you say wants you at home and her away, if you don't want that then that's fine but i still don't think he's in the wrong. If you were doing what you say you do to him, to me, i'd probably make a move aswell because your actions imply you want a fwb type deal.
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    (Original post by Drumzilla)
    well then he obviously, as you say wants you at home and her away, if you don't want that then that's fine but i still don't think he's in the wrong. If you were doing what you say you do to him, to me, i'd probably make a move aswell because your actions imply you want a fwb type deal.
    No i've never implied i want a FwB type deal... hence i've never slept with him. I didn't know he didn't want a LDR until that night he tried to sleep with me.
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    (Original post by GirlsJstWanaHavFun)
    Yeah.. but i'm not bothered that he's seeing her. What bothers me is that he thought it was perfectly okay to be in a FwB thing with her, then come home and try and sleep with me. Had i slept with him then it probably would have become a regular thing where whenever i was home we'd get together. So basically he would've ended up shagging her at uni and me at home. She's basically some random he met at uni last year, me and have have been very good friends for 5 years... i dont care if that how he wants to treat her.. but i can't believe he'd treat me that way
    Well you've told him no so yeah it can't be nice someone who you are friends with does this but really you solved the problem by saying you don't want to sleep with him.
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    (Original post by GirlsJstWanaHavFun)



    Oh well excuse me for not wanting to sleep with someone that I’m not in a relationship with/ with someone that doesn’t want a r-ship with me for my first time.
    your username says otherwise
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    (Original post by GirlsJstWanaHavFun)
    Yeah.. but i'm not bothered that he's seeing her. What bothers me is that he thought it was perfectly okay to be in a FwB thing with her, then come home and try and sleep with me. Had i slept with him then it probably would have become a regular thing where whenever i was home we'd get together. So basically he would've ended up shagging her at uni and me at home. She's basically some random he met at uni last year, me and have have been very good friends for 5 years... i dont care if that how he wants to treat her.. but i can't believe he'd treat me that way
    Why?

    again, are you his gf? what right do you have to say what he can/can't do with other people?

    did you just assume he would be loyal when you made no hints his way?
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    "A week after said text i went home, and we very nearly slept together (i said no). He said that he loves me (i didnt say it back) and that it felt so right, i'm his best friend from home, he misses me so much blah blah blah. He said he doesn't want a LDR though.

    Since then i've reduced contact to see if he'd contact me first, but he rarely does. I'd had enough putting the majority of the effort in to talk to him, and this lead to us speaking maybe once a week, instead of daily."

    If he's made a pass at you and declared his love, and you have rejected both of these pretty big gestures, I'd say you shouldn't be surprised if he doesn't want to speak to you. Also, you are a **** tease.
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    (Original post by GirlsJstWanaHavFun)
    No i've never implied i want a FwB type deal... hence i've never slept with him. I didn't know he didn't want a LDR until that night he tried to sleep with me.
    also make your mind up - you are either friends, or not.

    you are his friends with benefits actually, you don't need to have sex to have that title.

    I mean, do you kiss your other friends? you guys just took too long to do anything and you're suprised he went elswhere
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    (Original post by RedJimmy)
    "A week after said text i went home, and we very nearly slept together (i said no). He said that he loves me (i didnt say it back) and that it felt so right, i'm his best friend from home, he misses me so much blah blah blah. He said he doesn't want a LDR though.

    Since then i've reduced contact to see if he'd contact me first, but he rarely does. I'd had enough putting the majority of the effort in to talk to him, and this lead to us speaking maybe once a week, instead of daily."

    If he's made a pass at you and declared his love, and you have rejected both of these pretty big gestures, I'd say you shouldn't be surprised if he doesn't want to speak to you. Also, you are a **** tease.
    I haven't rejected him.. i told him i wouldnt sleep with him unless we were in a r-ship, he said he doesnt want a LDR. I'm not a **** tease, i didn't realise until said night that he didnt want a LDR.
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    (Original post by GirlsJstWanaHavFun)
    Hang on... people are getting off topic. I don't care that he has a FWB. What bothers me is that he thought it perfectly okay to get into a FwB thing with me at home, and have another FwB at uni. We've been friends for 5 years, and hence i can't believe he thinks its okay to treat me this way... and clearly doesnt care that when said FwB finished we'd struggle to keep up our friendship. He said to one of our other friends that you can't be friends after a r-ship... well FwB with a close friend is a type of r-ship in my eyes... we were talking every day, and would have been getting together when at home.
    you are NOT his gf, how many times does that need to be said?

    did you EVER say, "I don't want you seeing other people"
    heck you don't even care he was.
 
 
 
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