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really really awkward position... Watch

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    There might not be a right or wrong answer, only different options with their own advantages as drawbacks. I doubt even professional services like Childline would offer direct advice, because there is no option which has a guaranteed happy ending, and if they told you to do something and it turned out badly you might blame them.

    Most likely what such services would do would be to try to make you talk through your thoughts and feelings as much as possible, asking you in detail about how you feel about everything, to lead you to making your own decision. So, whether you choose to get advice from friends, family, a phoneline, or even TSR (!), you need to consider all the pros and cons of each choice of action, consider in detail your own situation, the situation of your mum and of your dad, your own personal situation, what do you think would happen if you chose option x, y or z, etc etc.
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    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    basically, saw a message on my dad's facebook which revealed that he's been having an affair and that the woman he's been seeing is moving closer to us 'to be with him' but he's looking 'to take things slow.' i didnt know what to do so rang my sister who told me it'd been ahppening since march but he told her he'd end it!? :confused:
    and he's still doing it..
    and my sisters had depression over the last few months whilst trying to hide this from my mum...
    yeah she doesn't know..
    I don't know what the hell to do..
    I feel guilty for not telling my mum, I know it's not my problem but I feel guilty for knowing something so serious and keeping it from her, and I feel guilty for making my Dad so upset, because he didn't want me to know?
    Anyone help, please?

    KEEP ANON PLEASE.
    I'm honestly not sure what the best action is, but I can give you two personal experiences which might help you decide.

    In my teens, I found out that my Mum was having an affair. I chose not to tell my Dad. A couple of years later, the affair ended, my parents are still happily married and my Dad blissfully ignorant. My Mum is happy in her relationship with my Dad now, and their relationship seems to have got over whatever problems they had. I'm so glad they're still together - I think they're both much happier that way.

    One of my friends found out that her Dad was having an affair and told her Mum. They ended up going through a very bitter divorce after 25 years. Her Mum was devastated and my friend felt responsible. She also hated her father and blamed him for hurting her mother. Her father, when found out and given an ultimatum, moved in with the other woman and my friend no longer sees him. Who knows what would have happened if she hadn't told her mum - maybe her dad would still have left her mum for the other woman, maybe it would have blown over as a lot of affairs do.
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    Am I the only one who came onto this thread thinking it was about sex positions?
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    My dad did this, and I found out well before my mum too. I couldn't really tell her though, so I waited until other stuff had happened and my mum left him anyway.

    If your dad knows that you know, and he also knows your sister knows, then I doubt your mum is totally clueless. She's probably suspicious.
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    #2

    Also, maybe think about talking to your Dad and telling him what you know. It might help to have a better idea of what his intentions are - whether his plans are to leave your Mum, or whether this is an affair that will some day end. I think this has an influence on how you should act.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    basically, saw a message on my dad's facebook which revealed that he's been having an affair and that the woman he's been seeing is moving closer to us 'to be with him' but he's looking 'to take things slow.' i didnt know what to do so rang my sister who told me it'd been ahppening since march but he told her he'd end it!? :confused:
    and he's still doing it..
    and my sisters had depression over the last few months whilst trying to hide this from my mum...
    yeah she doesn't know..
    I don't know what the hell to do..
    I feel guilty for not telling my mum, I know it's not my problem but I feel guilty for knowing something so serious and keeping it from her, and I feel guilty for making my Dad so upset, because he didn't want me to know?
    Anyone help, please?

    KEEP ANON PLEASE.
    Yeah confront the dad but I mean if he says he'll stop it and he doesn't, you might be none the wiser. It's your dad's fault - if he's unhappy in the relationship then he should do something about it instead of playing behind his wife's back when he has kids.
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    (Original post by jolteon)
    this is not your war, master meriadoc.
    Harf! Harf!
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    What a horrible situation to be in :/

    As a lot of other people have said, I think you should confront your Dad and tell him to tell your mum or you will. If he's a decent person he shouldn't be placing this burden on you and your sister. Also try not to feel guilty about not telling your mum, it is he who is in the wrong and should admit to what he has done.

    Good luck.
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    Give him the option of either him telling your mum, or you telling you mum.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's also an advice forum... hence the 'Health and relationships' please get off my thread if you have no advice for my situation. My family aren't a Jeremy Kyle family, we're middle class and both my brother and sister have been to university. Don't make out like you know who we are and our background, as you do not. Thanks.
    i lol'd. Looks like you will be when your mum finds out!!

    im just playing. Seriously though...tell your Dad to stop, but he needs to tell your mum EITHER WAY, cos that is just so wrong......
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    I thought this was going to be about a sex position...my bad!

    That's a crappy situation to be in. Talk to your dad. Make him come clean or end it. Too many people get hurt and he needs to realise that what he is doing is wrong.
    Of course he didn't want you to know about it - having an affair isn't something you shout from the rooftops. Don't feel guilty, he should be upset and you've done absolutely nothing wrong.
    Sorry if this sounds harsh but I don't have the time of day for people who cheat. Your dad needs to put a stop to it and come clean. He got himself into the mess so it's his problem to sort out.
 
 
 
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