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Should I tell her she was my first? Watch

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    Did you tell her what type of shampoo you washed your hair with that morning? If not, you are lying to her.
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    I'd see what happens next. If you end up in a relationship then you will probably tell her, sexual history etc normally comes out at some point. If it was a one off keep it quiet and move on. Odds are she has guessed anyways though.
    • Thread Starter
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    She's already asked me about my sexual history and I told her that I had a girlfriend for 18 months during school (I didn't).

    People seem 50/50 split on whether to tell her or not, very confused right now.
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    I think you should tell her, if only so she knows that the reason you're bad in bed is because you're new to sex, not because you're just crap.
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    (Original post by Bubbles*de*Milo)
    Don't tell her! There's no point.
    Only girl in this thread talking sense.

    Whatever happens OP. Don't bowkat. You can never come back from that.
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    She's already aware you're terribly inexperienced.
    No point addressing the matter.
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    Don't say anything.
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    She's probably already guessed. Don't bother bringing it up tbh.
    • Thread Starter
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    The problem with not telling her is that I always feel that I'm hiding something and that she doesn't really know who I am.

    She has told me quite a few times that I'm "not very open" with her and don't say how I feel, I think that this is at least partly because I haven't been honest with her about my past.
    • #1
    #1

    I would tell her.

    That way at least she has an explanation for your nervousness, putting-off and disastrous attempts at sex before you finally got it on.

    Tbh she may well have guessed already. In which case if you don't come clean you're only going to look silly in her eyes.

    Better to be a virgin, than be a more experienced guy who still acts like a virgin.

    Just be casual about it, you can have a laugh about being a virgin. Put some extra effort into sex, be an eager puppy etc she'll love it.

    Although it wouldn't be that important if you didn't tell her. If you get into a relationship with her it will come out though lol.

    My boyfriend was a virgin didn't bother me. Why should it?
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    Meh, why bother. If she was interested she would have asked how many girls you had been with etc, evidently, she isn't. Leave it as is mate, after all, you can only improve after your first time.
    • #2
    #2

    Don't tell her. Be inexperienced, but don't tell her she was your first. Think of an amazing and unverifiable story about your virginity that other friends can't corroborate or rubbish: party in another town, none of them were at, different friends, never saw the girl again, it was awkward and drunken etc. etc. - that way you can stick to the lie and keep it there.

    Assuming you're not going to marry this girl, you can keep this lie up for the length of the relationship: I'm was in an almost identical situation, and a year-and-a-half down the line it was going brilliantly, we broke up for completely different reasons. She had no idea at all. Built on a fabric of lies: perfect. I've been in plenty of relationships since then and haven't needed to lie.

    Use this girl to get better at sex, then move on. If you do end up staying with her forever, tell her when you're married and all the documents are signed. Probably on the plane to your honeymoon would be good: confined space, she can't get too emotional without causing a scene/them landing the plane.
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    (Original post by ben16)
    several disastrous attempts later we eventually succeeded.
    In which case she could already have worked it out for herself =P
    But meh I don't see why you should bother unless she asks, it's a bit of a non issue :dontknow:
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    (Original post by ben16)
    I really like this girl and could see myself in a relationship with her. However it bothers me that she doesn't know the truth about me and I think this is preventing me from being properly open with her.
    Start with this! Tell her how special she is to you and that you feel that you can't keep any secrets from her and that's why you're telling her that.. you know
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by ben16)
    The problem with not telling her is that I always feel that I'm hiding something and that she doesn't really know who I am.

    She has told me quite a few times that I'm "not very open" with her and don't say how I feel, I think that this is at least partly because I haven't been honest with her about my past.
    My bf told me a few weeks after we'd first had sex that he had been a virgin. Just thought it was sweet and was very glad he told me! He had also given the impression of being with others in the past. If she's a nice girl like you say then she shouldn't hold that against you.
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    (Original post by SeanChamp)
    tell her, then f*** her brains out.
    make sure you get the right hole though
    LOL!

    Well unless it comes up in conversation no need to tell her. Being realistic as this is your first relationship you will most likely want to smash some minge later on as you are still young. Get in some good practice son.
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    (Original post by ben16)
    I suggested that we have sex, several disastrous attempts later we eventually succeeded.
    NEWSFLASH TO BEN16: She already knows you were a virgin.
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    shush.Don't say anything.
    you sound like a pretty good sweet unexperienced guy and the girl sounds.eyes-open,experienced.
    JUST ACT COOL,
    act like you've been having sex since birth.
    • #4
    #4

    Tell her but don't let her think you were waiting for someone special (as may scare her off) or that she is easy for being the only person prepared to sleep with you. Tell her the truth otherwise your inexperience may be mistaken for poor performance and girls do occasionaily make longer term decisions dependent on guys abilities (I know I have on two occasions). But if she understands full story this won't be an issue and especially if she is someone who becomes jealous easily she may far prefer that she has been your onlu one.
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    ask for your virginity back and say it isn't working out
 
 
 
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