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    • #2
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    ok so hitting your gf or bf is a no no but you sound like you didn't "hit her" more "hit out" maybe you should ask her to come can see a uni counselling with her to show her you are trying to get help- but not for the hitting more the reason behind the neck thing- maybe you've been traumatised as a child....
    if you really like her you also have to be understanding - everyone knows you shouldn't stay with someone who hits you but she may need to get over the shock.
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    (Original post by Foxfight04)
    What it like a straight punch in the face or did you just catch her? Regardless it will take a while to regain trust but I'm sure she knew you wouldn't want to hurt her.
    It wasn't really a punch, more like a punch-slap hybrid (it wasn't proper fighting, it was like - as someone said - kicking out when someone tickles your feet.) It caught her on the cheek, it's not like I socked her in the mouth; it didn't really bruise, but was a bit red for a day or so.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No, she just cried a lot and I felt like ****.
    Do you know why you have such a problem with people touching your neck? just in general.
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    Wtf? It was an accident, keep telling her that and if she can't see it then that's just plain douchey, douchey!
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    (Original post by IlexBlue)
    Worst excuse ever.

    Get the hell over it, it's your GIRLFRIEND touching your neck in an affectionate manner, she's not grabbing it and strangling it. You were not at all justified in hitting her, and I don't blame her for the way she's reacting. You knew she was going to touch it - you can't justify reacting like a complete retard because it was "quicker than you agreed."
    Good God.
    My friend did try to strangle me a few years ago, I don't associate the neck with anything affectionate.

    (Original post by BlueGenes)
    Use this scenario to clear things up:
    *get down on all fours*
    You: "Your turn"
    :whip2:

    Do that or apologize,
    you must of hit her hard to make her frightened of you!
    She said it wasn't very hard (it was only a glancing catch), more took her by surprise. She says she's over it, but she's clearly not.

    And that scenario sounds fun, which isn't the point of it.
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    What made you instinctively hit her when she touched your neck? What is it about your neck that makes u respond like that?? You need to sort that problem out first because it's obviously something psychological there. Otherwise, I'm afraid you'll lose her because the incident is likely to recur.
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    Lay off the Stella
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    you just need to take your time, mate..... You need to earn her trust back. It's obvious she's going to be a little bit nervous. It was an accident and she knows that, but you just need to be very cotious about what you do or say. Because other people wont.
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    (Original post by xnatalie01x)
    Do you know why you have such a problem with people touching your neck? just in general.
    (Original post by DanielleT192)
    What made you instinctively hit her when she touched your neck? What is it about your neck that makes u respond like that?? You need to sort that problem out first because it's obviously something psychological there. Otherwise, I'm afraid you'll lose her because the incident is likely to recur.
    My friend tried to strangle me a few years ago. He wasn't himself, he got help afterwards as a direct result - I don't hold a grudge against him for it, I just don't like having my neck touched anymore.

    And to honest Danielle, I don't think she will be touching my neck again. I hate, hate, hate that this is what might make her finally stop.

    (Original post by Broderss)
    Lay off the Stella
    I don't drink alcohol.
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    Give her a bit of time.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My friend tried to strangle me a few years ago. He wasn't himself, he got help afterwards as a direct result - I don't hold a grudge against him for it, I just don't like having my neck touched anymore.
    Fair enough, I can understand it a bit more now. Honestly it should be ok, it will take a while to earn her trust back but it's not that major to instinctively hit out at someone as opposed to whacking them purposely. I think the title of the thread makes it sound a lot worse than it is!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My friend did try to strangle me a few years ago, I don't associate the neck with anything affectionate.
    I know, I read the other thread.

    I still don't think it's an excuse.

    Especially as your girlfriend was trying hard to help you get over it, and you repay her by hitting her and blame it on an "automatic reaction."
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    (Original post by Of_the_hook)
    Give her a bit of time.
    But I don't know how to respond. If I was distant, it'd make it weird between us ... but she doesn't seem comfortable being close either.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't drink alcohol.
    Well whatever it is that's making you beat your girlfriend, stop taking it.
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    Weather you meant it or not i disagree with it and dont agree with males hitting females
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    Well as much as I'm not going to shout at you and call you a violent **** I'm going to try and maybe make you see why she was upset even though it was an accident.
    Because she hadn't just gone for it and touched your neck and you'd actually planned to try it, she was probably expecting you to make a much bigger effort to restrain any reaction you might have or at least warn her if you felt like it was too much (you're saying it was a reflex, but she probably still feels a bit betrayed that you let it happen).
    Has she had any violence in her past? If not, it will still obviously affect her, but it'd probably take her a lot longer if she has any history of it. All you can do is continuously apologise and try to explain what happened - but I think I'd be pretty shook up too, I'm sure she'll be fine in the end she might just need some time. It takes a lot for trust to come back after that - if the accident had been "Oh I was turning round and caught her with my elbow by accident" then she'd be over it by now, but in her eyes you attacked her.
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    Erm yeah, you probably shouldn't have hit her
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    (Original post by IlexBlue)
    I know, I read the other thread.

    I still don't think it's an excuse.

    Especially as your girlfriend was trying hard to help you get over it, and you repay her by hitting her and blame it on an "automatic reaction."
    She still doesn't know why I react like that - we (yes, we; it was suggested by me, and she was enthusiastic) were trying to get over the neck, not the incident.

    I feel like **** about this already, I really don't need you making it worse. To be honest, I don't think you can.
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    Why is it the weirdest guys are always the one's with girlfriends?
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    I don't really understand how you could do that. If you guys were testing things out, you would have known perfectly well it was your girlfriend therefore no reason to lash out :dontknow:
 
 
 
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