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virgin girl disgusted by much older guy's sexual history - what to do? Watch

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    (Original post by shinytoy)
    hi there, sorry i wasnt being rude, i used caps to show the emphasis.

    yes ive been dating other guys, i want to get over the 40 y/o but cant. my frineds say imtoo picky and need to date more so i give each ok-ish dude at least one date

    my prblem is im still only in love with the old dude. also, my chuch is full of crinklys 60+ only
    ok, another Q

    - what are you looking for?
    - what did the 40 yr old have that was special
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    (Original post by shinytoy)
    guys.

    basically i met the love of my life like 3 years ago, we were together for a year, he was the first and olny guy i have loved and my only proper relationship.

    we broke up 2 years ago, i have dated a few guys since non seriously, but still only love this guy. he was much older than me in his 40s and i was 21 when we met so he said i needed more life experience first to become more interesting and time to grow up to become more mature, and that i didnt really know what i was saying if i wanted to marry him.

    still now 2 years later, i still only love him and im hoping to get back with him but i am soooo disgusted by his sexual history. im a virgin and no sex before amriiage. but even if we were married i would keep wanting to cheat, not because im unfaithful but because he slept around so much before we were married that i would find it hard to truly respect him and just feel so disgusted.

    he was a major player all his life, he was married once when he was 34 which lasted a year, his wife apparanly cheated on him so he cheated on her then the marriage broke up ending with him moving in with the woman he was cheating with. he also has had a few threesomes and foursomes and ONS, and being 40+ y/o he has had A LOT o partners. the reason we broke up is because he had never had a threesome with 2 girls before, and he met this bisexual homeless skanky gal he moved her in with him a week after they met and have a semi open relationship where she can bring home girls for him. im not into that.

    he is the type of guy that has fun with slutty easy gals, but wants to marry a really conservative girl. he said when he finishes with the skanky gal we can get back together and may get married. i love him but am soooo disgusted with his past, and the type of girls he was with. many of them were the not very attractive really slutty bar-types that hang about half naked in clubs sleeping with whoever approaches them. whereas im attractive, classy and intelligent and nothing like those girls.

    im also jealous that he is now 45, and wasted his youth sleeping about with skanks and having fun, but expects to marry a conservative reliable girl like me to have babies with and care for him in his old age. why should i get the leftovers? i love him and wanted to enjoy his youth with him?

    do any other girls feel the same about man-whores or much older dudes? how can i get over this since i really love him?

    EDIT: please do not use my thread to go on about how religion/waiting until marriage/Jesus are bad ideads. this is not relavent, make your own thread.

    also, there is a difference between a guy sleeping with girls selectively and responsibly in a relationship, and a man whore who leaps into bed with man/woman/man and woman. ewww. :centipe: ther former is ok, the latter is gross.
    Age distorts things. It's like an old person - you're told to respect them etc and you naturally have a certain amount of respect for them, but they could have been terrible people when younger and that should not be forgotten. Age should not blind you from who they truly are.

    Just reading that I am disgusted, and you are wholly justified. You and I will no doubt receive predictable neg for our views, but that's because the vast majority of people on here and in this country today are exactly the type you describe in your post.

    It's the hand-me-down thing. Why would you want something that was someone else's, or been used and worn out. As I aforementioned, the fact he is older and 'mature' should not deter from the fact that in his youth he was, as you say, a player and exactly the arrogant type I, and I'm sure most people, hate. He sounds as bad as the girls he sleeps with.

    Someone told you that you should 'get real' - this bloke needs to get real. He cannot have his cake and eat it. He cannot have the fun and then expect a 'conservative girl' to marry him. I can't be bothered to go into it, but these are the basics of my views.
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    (Original post by aws)
    ok, another Q

    - what are you looking for?
    - what did the 40 yr old have that was special
    - a lovely husband to love forever and ever!!!
    - everything, for the same reasons anyone falls in love. there will never be another like him
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    Are you nuts OP? Seriously imo you need to wake up, this guy left you because he wanted to have a threesome and has been a player all his life. Yet you seem to think that you are made for each other.... please don't tell me that I'm the only person thinking that you need to wake up!

    I suppose you think you'll marry him and curb his cheating ways and live happliy ever after too.
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    (Original post by shinytoy)
    - a lovely husband to love forever and ever!!!
    - everything, for the same reasons anyone falls in love. there will never be another like him
    how expansive
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    (Original post by shinytoy)
    - a lovely husband to love forever and ever!!!
    - everything, for the same reasons anyone falls in love. there will never be another like him
    http://www.ttfonline.org.uk/

    Try above ^^^ you have to be able to find a nice young hot Christian boy who shares your values... I know at least two at UCL at the moment!

    Seriously, you need to realise that guy is a) gross and b) just using/used you. Find a guy who shares your values and respects your beliefs, it can't be that hard!
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    (Original post by Wesker115)
    Are you nuts OP? Seriously imo you need to wake up, this guy left you because he wanted to have a threesome and has been a player all his life. Yet you seem to think that you are made for each other.... please don't tell me that I'm the only person thinking that you need to wake up!

    I suppose you think you'll marry him and curb his cheating ways and live happliy ever after too.
    well i have loved him for like 3 years now.i know it doesnt make sense. but his past is the ony thing i dont like.

    i dont think he ouwld cheat if we were married, since i dont think he wouldf marry unless he was seriosu. also by the time we got married, he'd be almost 50 so less likely to cheat due to wirnkles and non-viarga. he might just be looking to settle down and have a cuddle and get old woth somene who loves him. he isnt rich, in fact he is a broke musisican so he wont be pulling 22 y/o when he is 60 like hefner
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    Well how old are you why are you choosing to go out with such an older guy? It sounds like he just wants to have his cake and eat it. If he is so selfish and such a hypocrite in those areas of his life he is probably in others as well .
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    (Original post by Guy Secretan)
    Well how old are you why are you choosing to go out with such an older guy? It sounds like he just wants to have his cake and eat it. If he is so selfish and such a hypocrite in those areas of his life he is probably in others as well .
    im 25 but i started dating him when he was 40 and i was 21. h e lied about his age and told me he was a 28 year old hip hop musician about to release an album. turned out he was a 40y/o divorced unemplyed ex-teacher living in his oms house. but by then i already really loved him.

    also i cant imagine going through all that again with somene new, most guys out there in the 30-40 age bracket are cheating married dudes, insane playas or divorced playahs or else weird introverts. i cant date dudes in their twentioes cos im against sex before marriage and young guys havent developed their mind suffieicntly to look beyond their c**k.
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    Even if you really like this guy, the age difference and the fact you've both got such different morals suggests you'd find it difficult to be in a relationship together. I think you should find somebody who's more suited to you.
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    40 eh?
    You sound like you'd get along better with someone who is 14. :rolleyes:
    Anyway, find someone else if it bothers you that much.

    I still don't know if you're a troll, you seem too dedicated.
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    (Original post by shinytoy)
    im 25 but i started dating him when he was 40 and i was 21. h e lied about his age and told me he was a 28 year old hip hop musician about to release an album. turned out he was a 40y/o divorced unemplyed ex-teacher living in his oms house. but by then i already really loved him.

    also i cant imagine going through all that again with somene new, most guys out there in the 30-40 age bracket are cheating married dudes, insane playas or divorced playahs or else weird introverts. i cant date dudes in their twentioes cos im against sex before marriage and young guys havent developed their mind suffieicntly to look beyond their c**k.
    based on this, and your prior threads.

    Who the heck would want to be with you? you are a crazy fake beliefs girl.
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    (Original post by shinytoy)
    - a lovely husband to love forever and ever!!!
    - everything, for the same reasons anyone falls in love. there will never be another like him
    who you fall in love with is up to you tbh, who you fall in lust with however is of a different matter, you've not slept with him so take pride in that, but with how you already feel about him, your relationship would be so dysfunctional that you're just go thru a lot of emotional heartaches, like it just doesn't seem worth it, just run and leave it be, love is more to do with commitment than raw feelings and when the feelings go away you'll already be in a situation so basically, run!!
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    (Original post by lovely_me)
    You both sound quite selfish and very hypocritical. In my opinion, you would make a perfect couple, if you so wish to continue the pathetic scraps of the 'relationship' you have with him.
    what? how am I selfish??
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    (Original post by py0alb)
    c'mon, you don't even have the self control to stop yourself constantly making troll threads on H&R.
    Lol why do I find you in all the sexual type of threads.

    Just out of curiosity, what did you mean when you said I'm bitter in the thread I did a couple of days ago, please elaborate.

    I couldn't be bothered asking then but I'm relaxed this evening.
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    Basically, it sounds like you two are incompatible. What's done is done and this guy can't do anything about the fact that he has slept with a lot of people, or at least in relation to you. You either get over his more liberal attitudes towards sex or you forget it with him completely, to be honest. If you feel like he is controlling your behaviour or trying to, then he's hardly the love of your life, is he? Love of your life SO FAR, maybe. It also doesn't seem to me like your heart really is in the no sex before marriage belief if you think it appropriate to sleep around once married. It sounds to me like you'd be getting married just to be able to 'stoop down' to his level. If you really think he is wrong, then two wrongs don't make a right, do they?
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    OP, trust me, you'll find someone else to fall in love with. That "Prince Charming/Oh I'll never find anyone like him" attitude is pure fantasy. I'm sure you can find something better than a middle aged womanizer.

    Also, don't take a religious approach to this problem, it will all end in tears if you keep feeling disgusted because he's had sexual relations. Those relationships don't make him "impure" or unworthy. Unless he has caught an STD or two.
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    (Original post by Glowy Amoeba)
    OP, trust me, you'll find someone else to fall in love with. That "Prince Charming/Oh I'll never find anyone like him" attitude is pure fantasy. I'm sure you can find something better than a middle aged womanizer.

    Also, don't take a religious approach to this problem, it will all end in tears if you keep feeling disgusted because he's had sexual relations. Those relationships don't make him "impure" or unworthy. Unless he has caught an STD or two.
    hi there, sorry for the late reply. the reason i think he is the one is becaus e i still love him 2 years after we brke up. i cant make sense of it. he is the only proper bf i've had, and i know its messed up but i do love him .

    and no, it doesnt matter he isnt the same religion, and i dont feel disgusted because he's had relations, but there is a mile fo difference between someone who respects themself and only had it in a relationshp and has restricted themself to say 5 or 6 special people, and a man-wh!re who has 4somes and 3somes and ONS and open bisexual relatinships and over 50 partners. the latter is gross, the former is acceptable to me.
    does anyone get what im saying?

    also if this thread was a guy saying 'omg my gf has had 100 partners' loads of peopel would find it gross, but for me everyone is saying im in the wrong because he's a guy and guys sleep around??
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    1) Give him sexy-time
    2) You'll win him back

    Or have I somewhat missed the point of this thread? :holmes:
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    I wasnt suprised that you made this thread. -_-
 
 
 
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