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    (Original post by Tootles)
    This is what normally happens to me. When I asked the girl out at sixth-form (who I'd fancied since early on at school), I pretty much plucked up all the balls I'd ever had and said "I really like you, and I want to know if you'd let me take you out."
    So you fancied her for years before revealing your true feelings to her? Wow. Did you speak to her as friends during those years where you fancied her? Because if you did, then you were only seen as her platonic friend, therefore when you asked her out you got rejected.

    There's nothing worse than interacting with a girl for hours/days/weeks/months/years WITHOUT REVEALING YOUR INTENTIONS. Because when you do finally reveal your intentions, you come off as creepy. It very rarely works out if you delay telling a girl how you feel. You just paint yourself as her 'friend' and then you end up angry when she rejects you when you come onto her.

    This is why I say ALWAYS tell a girl you like UPFRONT. No beating around the bush. No 'trying to sneak in under the radar' etc. Just be honest with girls that you find them attractive and ask them out at the start, before you get categorized as just another male friend.

    I also think that line 'I want to know if you'd let me take you out' is weak. LET YOU take her out? That implies she's of higher value than you or something. I'd have told her straight that I think she's attractive and that I'd love to get to know her and suggest meeting up outside of sixth form sometime to get to know each other, then I'd gauge her reaction from there.

    Still, at least you told her how you felt and asked her out, which is better than most people would've done.

    (Original post by Tootles)
    She said she "wasn't interested," though, but we agreed to be friends. But not long after that we went our separate ways, and so we didn't actually speak in person again. We still talk on Facebook, once every Preston Guild.

    But even though I know she didn't like me, and likely never will, I still would love to be friends with her, because she is... well...

    Damn it, now I'm feeling maudlin. :cry:
    You know what....hanging around a girl 'as friends' AFTER she's rejected you is the WORST thing you can do. Here's the truth: you're only hanging around her 'as friends' because you secretly hope that one day she'll change her mind and fancy you. She won't. Once a girl has made up her mind that she isn't attracted to you, you should just leave her alone and move on to someone else.

    Your best bet is to leave her alone and work on yourself for a good period of time. Make yourself happier and more confident. Date some other girls. Then if you DO happen to bump into the girl you fancied a few years down the line, maybe she'll be attracted to the new and better you. But if not, who cares because you'd have moved on anyway.
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    All I know is if you get put in the friend zone you can do 1 of two things if you want her
    1. Act uninterested in her then she will want you... Funny how that works.
    2. Put her in the rape zone.
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    (Original post by Neil_K)
    So you fancied her for years before revealing your true feelings to her? Wow. Did you speak to her as friends during those years where you fancied her? Because if you did, then you were only seen as her platonic friend, therefore when you asked her out you got rejected.

    There's nothing worse than interacting with a girl for hours/days/weeks/months/years WITHOUT REVEALING YOUR INTENTIONS. Because when you do finally reveal your intentions, you come off as creepy. It very rarely works out if you delay telling a girl how you feel. You just paint yourself as her 'friend' and then you end up angry when she rejects you when you come onto her.

    This is why I say ALWAYS tell a girl you like UPFRONT. No beating around the bush. No 'trying to sneak in under the radar' etc. Just be honest with girls that you find them attractive and ask them out at the start, before you get categorized as just another male friend.

    I also think that line 'I want to know if you'd let me take you out' is weak. LET YOU take her out? That implies she's of higher value than you or something. I'd have told her straight that I think she's attractive and that I'd love to get to know her and suggest meeting up outside of sixth form sometime to get to know each other, then I'd gauge her reaction from there.

    Still, at least you told her how you felt and asked her out, which is better than most people would've done.



    You know what....hanging around a girl 'as friends' AFTER she's rejected you is the WORST thing you can do. Here's the truth: you're only hanging around her 'as friends' because you secretly hope that one day she'll change her mind and fancy you. She won't. Once a girl has made up her mind that she isn't attracted to you, you should just leave her alone and move on to someone else.

    Your best bet is to leave her alone and work on yourself for a good period of time. Make yourself happier and more confident. Date some other girls. Then if you DO happen to bump into the girl you fancied a few years down the line, maybe she'll be attracted to the new and better you. But if not, who cares because you'd have moved on anyway.
    We didn't talk loads as friends, really, just as classmates, and I didn't realize that I fancied her until our last year at school... though I should have realized, because from our first year onwards being in the same room made me feel... better; better about myself, better about school, better about everything. I just wanted to smile all the time when she was there. I know. Dumkopf. It wasn't just how attractive she was physically, I found the way she spoke and her personality in general.

    I didn't really delay telling her how I felt after realizing I fancied her. I'd let something slip to her in a Maths lesson at school without realizing it, and another girl we were both friends with asked me if I fancied her. I said I did, and a bit later I asked her to the prom. The problem was that she was a very 'innocent' type of girl back then, so she didn't pick up on my fairly obvious signs to her.

    I'd asked her out to the prom about a week before the prom itself, and without realizing my intentions she said she was going with her friends, as everyone was. Then we had the Summer holidays, over which she was on holiday. We went to sixth-form, and I asked her if she'd like to go for a coffee somewhere. She didn't drink coffee, but she didn't say she didn't want to have a drink. There was just never a time when we were both free.

    So eventually I decided to throw all my cards on the table, and I said that "I really like you, and I'd love to go out with you some time." - misremembered what I'd said when I wrote my previous post. She said she wasn't interested in a relationship, but would like to be friends.

    I wanted to be friends too, not because I thought there might be a way in, but because I enjoyed her company.

    Over the time running up, I'd spoken to her on the phone a little, and I'd got to be friendly with her mum, who I actually told I'd asked her out. She said not to worry; she wasn't really interested in boys at the time.

    But to this day, I've never been as frank with a girl as I was with her. I wasn't anywhere near as nervous as I always have been around girls. Then again, I've not really been attracted to any girls for a while now, so I don't know how nervous I'd be if there was one I really liked.
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    I love that this thread is all blokes giving each other **** advice. Why don't you just be honest with the women you like, treat them as other human beings? Maybe do that. You guys must hang out with some really, really **** women if you think they are all manipulative *****es. Either that or, more likely I think, none of you have ever spoken to a girl in your life and think that reading 'The Game' or some other bull**** makes you an expert.

    Grow up, morons.
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    I think the whole thing is stupid. I don't think you should ever rule out being happy and in love with somebody just because you're "friends". My best relationship to date was with a really close friend, which admittedly didn't work out, but you can't blame that on the fact that we were friends already.
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    (Original post by miranda-ae)
    I love that this thread is all blokes giving each other **** advice. Why don't you just be honest with the women you like, treat them as other human beings? Maybe do that. You guys must hang out with some really, really **** women if you think they are all manipulative *****es. Either that or, more likely I think, none of you have ever spoken to a girl in your life and think that reading 'The Game' or some other bull**** makes you an expert.

    Grow up, morons.
    My thoughts exactly.

    (Original post by Neil_K)
    Women tend to keep guys who they're not sexually attracted to around as 'friends' because they can use these men for favours such as free dinners, gifts, flattering attention, free lifts to places, monetary favours, free lunches, free drinks on nights out, or so they have someone to add to their Facebook, talk to on Facebook/msn, so they have someone to text when they're bored, and so they have a 'nice guy' to talk to about their problems or to rant about the 'jerk' that they're sleeping with etc, or simply for flattering attention. Basically, a lot of women deliberately manipulate men in this way when they know full well they're not sexually attracted to the guy. Women love attention, even from men they're not sexually attracted to but like as platonic buddies, and so will keep these men around but not sleep with them.

    If women were to cut guys who they weren't sexually attracted to out of their lives by rejecting them, they wouldn't be able to keep them around and use them and manipulate them in the ways I mentioned above. Hence they tell me 'I just want to be friends', and keep the guy around for the reasons I listed above.

    Don't believe me this is true and think I just made this up? Well observe closely how women treat men who they have in their lives who they've 'friend zoned'/who they aren't sexually attracted to, and you'll see this is ABSOLUTELY TRUE. Naive guys let women manipulate/use them in this way ALL THE TIME, because they think that one day the girl will eventually 'start fancying them' if they stick around long enough, but she won't!
    You enjoy tarring all women with the same brush, don't you?
    Yes, there are many women that manipulate men like this, that's absolutely true. You must have been unlucky to meet so many of those women. But it is possible for women to see men as friends without wanting 'favours' from them.

    The only guy I've ever 'friend-zoned,' as you call it, asked me out when he knew that I was getting involved with my current boyfriend. I don't know why he waited so long to tell me, but I really did see him as a friend and had no idea he fancied me. I don't see him nearly as much any more, but he got over it pretty quickly and we're still good friends. I've never and would never expect any 'favours' from him.
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    Paahaha the only way the guys are responding is with neg Well done lads!
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    Okay. Couple of questions.

    I was having coffee with this girl and we were waiting on a friend that was a couple hours late.

    While we were talking I said I go to the bookies every weekend and she said "I'll have to keep that in mind when setting you up on a date."

    Later I was joking about gay mutual friend and she asked "you don't like guy's, do you?"

    Lastly she mentioned an old school crush.

    I'm starting to like this girl. Would somebody who's remotely interested even mention these things? I don't mind if I'm friendzoned....life goes on!

    Actually, reading this back..looks like she aint interested ha ha
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    (Original post by NewEraKid)
    Okay. Couple of questions.

    I was having coffee with this girl and we were waiting on a friend that was a couple hours late.

    While we were talking I said I go to the bookies every weekend and she said "I'll have to keep that in mind when setting you up on a date."

    Later I was joking about gay mutual friend and she asked "you don't like guy's, do you?"

    Lastly she mentioned an old school crush.

    I'm starting to like this girl. Would somebody who's remotely interested even mention these things? I don't mind if I'm friendzoned....life goes on!

    Actually, reading this back..looks like she aint interested ha ha
    I have to agree, these aren't really typical signs that a girl likes you. That is unless she perhaps has a history of dating good friends; it may be that she is interested in you as a friend with the possibility of perhaps hooking up in the future.
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    (Original post by Roo Bix)
    I have to agree, these aren't really typical signs that a girl likes you. That is unless she perhaps has a history of dating good friends; it may be that she is interested in you as a friend with the possibility of perhaps hooking up in the future.
    Thanx for the reply.

    So your basically saying she's interested but might not be?

    I am a young adult and I know I should just man up but the thought of her gives me butterflies
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    (Original post by NewEraKid)
    Thanx for the reply.

    So your basically saying she's interested but might not be?

    I am a young adult and I know I should just man up but the thought of her gives me butterflies
    No need to feel bad about butterflies, human nature!

    What I'm saying is that she might be interested in you, but in a hypothetical sense. Maybe she would like the idea of you both getting together in the future. The best piece of advice is to get to know her a bit more. Forget the friendzone, it's a myth :giggle:
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    I think where most guys go wrong (as the girls have mentioned on this thread) is that they act passive with their intentions.

    The minute I started being very forward with my motives, that was the moment "I picked up".

    People make this **** more complicated then it's ought to be, trying to get a girl is FUN for not only you, but for her too!

    Be flirty.

    Be fun.

    Be yourself!
 
 
 
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