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Boyfriend going his work xmas party alone, is it wrong that im upset? Watch

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    If you hadn't said "there's no more ME, there's only US", then i would have taken it seriously.

    I still agree with you if his colleagues bring their partners. At a work party it's one category or the other, one of them being 'with girlfriends/boyfriends', and if that's the case, you should talk to him about it.
    Do you behave embarrassing at parties/ drink a lot?
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    what a username
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    (Original post by Jamie)
    Some people want to spend it schmoozing with work mates rather than having to hold their Gfs hand all night.

    especially if its going to be a lot of work banter all night
    Hold my hand, im a grown woman thanks i can talk to other people.

    (Original post by Veldrin)
    Let the man have his space...or don't you trust him? Do you think his going to get someone's number or are you scared that he will have a good time without you and things wont be the same?

    Clingy to the max, lord above.

    It xmas it not a normal night out, actually im more worried about what he thinks about our relationship than who he could shag on the side.


    (Original post by doodle7)
    I find it amusing that most of the girls are saying he's in the wrong whereas the guys think it's fine!

    I'm gonna go with the guys though - there's nothing wrong with wanting to keep different friendships/ relationships separate every now and then. If he works with a load of guys and him and his workmates are really close then he might not want to have to spend the evening holding your hand and making you feel better because you don't know anyone there. Everyone likes to have a bit of 'me' time every now and then, don't take it to heart
    Every now and then fair enough but considering its a formal event its not the normal piss up, it the sort of thing you would take your girlfriend to. I have no problem with not going on their nights out in town etc + over 90% are female.

    Why do people think id expect him to hold my hand, I can mingle with others.

    (Original post by *Lollo*)
    If you hadn't said "there's no more ME, there's only US", then i would have taken it seriously.

    I still agree with you if his colleagues bring their partners. At a work party it's one category or the other, one of them being 'with girlfriends/boyfriends', and if that's the case, you should talk to him about it.
    Do you behave embarrassing at parties/ drink a lot?

    Id have been driving so wouldnt have been drinking lol im normally the one carrying him in once we get home. All their nights out are a 50:50 split ie some take partners other dont, however its more along the line of people dont tell him to bring me so he doesnt say is it ok if i bring xxxxx or is it a work only one this time. Hence when I pick him up and he goes oh XXX was asking why i didnt take you, I get rather annoyed.

    Especially as he expects me to take him everywhere with me and turned up with his mates last time he wasnt invited
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    (Original post by fallenflower)
    I’ve always subscribed to the it not the “If you have a partner, then there's no more "ME", there's only "US".” Hence rather pissed off and upset that he seem to be ashamed of me!
    Ah, page 1 of the Bunny Boilers' Manifesto...

    You, madam, are unattractively clingy.

    Were both 20 so not a silly little teenage couple
    Oh yes, I'm sure that few months makes all the difference.
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    (Original post by fallenflower)
    To cut a long story short tonight is the boyfriends work xmas party, im not invited but expected to pick him up. I’m rather upset about this as on previous nights out etc he has been asked where I am but still doesn’t think to invite me. I’ve always subscribed to the it not the “If you have a partner, then there's no more "ME", there's only "US".” Hence rather pissed off and upset that he seem to be ashamed of me!

    Were both 20 so not a silly little teenage couple and have been together nearly a year. Night out with the lads etc I can understand btw so not a controlling girlfriend. Also this isnt something paid for by the company everyone pays for themselves so it not like partners arent allowed
    work party?

    read this article, trust me, please read this

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-11950846
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    Hey there, I think it might be fun if you didn't have to go! It would most likely be really boring and awkward talking about worky stuff with a load of people you don't know. Do something for you that you know he wouldn't like, make the most of your independence for one night
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    (Original post by big-boss-91)
    work party?

    read this article, trust me, please read this

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-11950846
    Im sorry but thats not really relevent as this is a pay your own way party. I disagree with the article and heres why, this is not why im annoyed at him btw.

    If the employess were seriously bothered about his gf being sick then they havent meet this lot if someone isnt ill before the end of the night its weired and definatly wouldnt be big news after a few days next week.

    I agree with the relationship coach tbh as A) Your relationship should be more important than a little bit of good natured ribbing if the partner embarrises themselves (hell ive took it more than once for him)
    B)If you are having an affair then tbf you deserve to get found out.
    C)A few dont mention xyz and your sorted over the worries of what if she says something wrong.

    Sexual tensions between staff are normal why would anyone be ashamed of their partner seeing that.

    Why the hell would any woman speek to their husbands boss when they know it not going to go down well.

    I really dont understand this "He would have to hold her hand" surelly any modern woman has been shown how to mingle with other people.
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    I really wouldn't expect to be asked to my boyfriend's work Christmas do.

    I was pretty glad not to go this year actually [his work decided on 'no partners']. I went with him last year, and I just felt really awkward, cause I didn't want to make a bad impression [we'd only been going out for a couple of months at this point], and he kept having to introduce me to people, so I felt like I was stopping him from doing stuff/enjoying himself.

    However, I do think its slightly insensitive of him to not invite you and then ask you to drive him there.
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    You sound really immature to be honest. You shouldn't expect to be invited to everything that your boyfriend does...he is still his own person, not just one half of a couple with you. My boyfriend isn't coming to my work party, we're both 22 and we've been together for over a year. I'm not going to his work party either. We didn't dicuss it, we both just assumed, and I don't care either way to be honest. I would rather go on my own anyway, as others have pointed out it can be awkward if your partner doesn't know anybody else. There's some things that you should just do on your own, and its his choice if he wants to have a night out on his own for once. I don't blame him to be fair; you do sound like a fully fledged, totally clingy bunny boiler.

    Also, if you have issues with the way your boyfriend treats you, then how about talking to him about it, instead of whinging to us? What good will it do?
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    (Original post by fallenflower)
    To cut a long story short tonight is the boyfriends work xmas party, im not invited but expected to pick him up. I’m rather upset about this as on previous nights out etc he has been asked where I am but still doesn’t think to invite me. I’ve always subscribed to the it not the “If you have a partner, then there's no more "ME", there's only "US".” Hence rather pissed off and upset that he seem to be ashamed of me!

    Were both 20 so not a silly little teenage couple and have been together nearly a year. Night out with the lads etc I can understand btw so not a controlling girlfriend. Also this isnt something paid for by the company everyone pays for themselves so it not like partners arent allowed
    YES - you are not his work. he does not have to go with you to a WORK PARTY
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    (Original post by fallenflower)
    im a grown woman
    No you're not.

    Grow up and let him have his own life, you don't need to be a part of every single aspect of his life. You're not a part of his work sphere and therefore you don't belong to that party. They'll spend a lot of the time talking about work-related stuff, and your presence would mean they'd have to refrain that.
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    Think you are being a little unreasonable

    You need to understand that the main point of work functions is not to have fun. I find work parties a pain in the arse, but still go because they are important networking opportunities and are useful for developing relationships with colleagues. This is surprisingly important, particularly if you are looking for promotion or something like that. Networking is more difficult if your other half is there because you feel you have to stay with them and involve them in conversations rather than circulate around the room.

    It can also be a bit awkward for girlfriends/boyfriends because they won't understand many conversations.
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    (Original post by fallenflower)
    To cut a long story short tonight is the boyfriends work xmas party, im not invited but expected to pick him up. I’m rather upset about this as on previous nights out etc he has been asked where I am but still doesn’t think to invite me. I’ve always subscribed to the it not the “If you have a partner, then there's no more "ME", there's only "US".” Hence rather pissed off and upset that he seem to be ashamed of me!

    Were both 20 so not a silly little teenage couple and have been together nearly a year. Night out with the lads etc I can understand btw so not a controlling girlfriend. Also this isnt something paid for by the company everyone pays for themselves so it not like partners arent allowed
    For **** sake, my eyes hurt reading this badly put together wall of text.
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    To be fair it's his work's Christmas Party and he might not have a lot of female friends at work who he hangs around with much, his circle of work mates might mainly be guys (the guys he goes on the lad's nights out with) and the girls are just aquaintences who he has the odd chat with at work. Just because it's a Christmas Party doesn't mean they'll all be hanging around together, they might split away a bit into their groups of mates and if that happens you might feel a bit like the odd one out not knowing anyone to really talk to. If I was in a situation like that I'd feel a bit uncomfortable so he might just be thinking he doesn't really want to put you in that situation. As well as that by bringing you with him it might feel as though he's distracted from his work mates by you for the night when he should really be celebrating with them. If you're really upset about it though why don't you just ask him?
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    To be fair your whole view about "lad's nights" implies that any female friend(s) that he has, he can only see under your supervision. Is that not a bit too controlling..?
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    (Original post by The Narrator)
    To be fair it's his work's Christmas Party and he might not have a lot of female friends at work who he hangs around with much, his circle of work mates might mainly be guys (the guys he goes on the lad's nights out with) and the girls are just aquaintences who he has the odd chat with at work. Just because it's a Christmas Party doesn't mean they'll all be hanging around together, they might split away a bit into their groups of mates and if that happens you might feel a bit like the odd one out not knowing anyone to really talk to. If I was in a situation like that I'd feel a bit uncomfortable so he might just be thinking he doesn't really want to put you in that situation. As well as that by bringing you with him it might feel as though he's distracted from his work mates by you for the night when he should really be celebrating with them. If you're really upset about it though why don't you just ask him?
    Why would i feel like the odd one out! God i can mingle i do have something called social skills, I dont have to know someone to strike up a conversation.

    (Original post by HJV)
    To be fair your whole view about "lad's nights" implies that any female friend(s) that he has, he can only see under your supervision. Is that not a bit too controlling..?
    No, plus i know most of his female friends anyway and he wouldnt dare not ask me as he knows they would ask me if it was a blantent normal night out ie not a lads piss up anyway from the partners.

    (Original post by jacketpotato)
    Think you are being a little unreasonable

    You need to understand that the main point of work functions is not to have fun. I find work parties a pain in the arse, but still go because they are important networking opportunities and are useful for developing relationships with colleagues. This is surprisingly important, particularly if you are looking for promotion or something like that. Networking is more difficult if your other half is there because you feel you have to stay with them and involve them in conversations rather than circulate around the room.

    It can also be a bit awkward for girlfriends/boyfriends because they won't understand many conversations.

    Not in the NHS or emergency services it aint, it a let get pissed a gossip about stuff other people at the table wont have seen. Ive done it since i was 14 lol and hes well aware of that, promotion is on merit like exams not who you have butt kissed at the xmas party. Quick intro to who is who and he knows he can piss off for hours and ill only go looking if i havent seen him for a long while, he seen me do it enough time. Plus 6 out of the ten going have took their partners so id have plenty of people to talk to.

    This is all about him not having the guts to ask if i could go, as the lass that asked him said would you like to come and didnt percificatly say oh and bring your lass, where as the other have said yes and ill bring the other half.
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    Some people like to keep business and personal separate. Let him have some time off.
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    (Original post by fallenflower)
    Not in the NHS or emergency services it aint, it a let get pissed a gossip about stuff other people at the table wont have seen. Ive done it since i was 14 lol and hes well aware of that, promotion is on merit like exams not who you have butt kissed at the xmas party. Quick intro to who is who and he knows he can piss off for hours and ill only go looking if i havent seen him for a long while, he seen me do it enough time. Plus 6 out of the ten going have took their partners so id have plenty of people to talk to.
    I don't believe that exams are the only criteria. Surely the way people feel about how well you have done is important? It isn't particularly fair, but people are influenced by the way they feel about you as a person. You are more likely to get a positive performance review if you network. Don't underestimate how important this is.

    This is all about him not having the guts to ask if i could go, as the lass that asked him said would you like to come and didnt percificatly say oh and bring your lass, where as the other have said yes and ill bring the other half.
    Or maybe he just wants to have fun with his work mates without having to introduce a new person?
    And if it is because he forgot to ask whether you could go in the first place, then surely you can't go anyway?

    You are getting stroppy for no reason IMO. I don't understand how you can be OK about him having nights with the lads but not nights with his workmates.
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      (Original post by fallenflower)
      Hold my hand, im a grown woman thanks i can talk to other people.

      It xmas it not a normal night out, actually im more worried about what he thinks about our relationship than who he could shag on the side.
      So basically you want to go so you can make sure he doesn't shag anyone/introduce yourself to everyone you see as a potential threat as his 'gf'.

      Very grown up.
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      (Original post by jacketpotato)
      I don't believe that exams are the only criteria. Surely the way people feel about how well you have done is important? It isn't particularly fair, but people are influenced by the way they feel about you as a person. You are more likely to get a positive performance review if you network. Don't underestimate how important this is.


      Or maybe he just wants to have fun with his work mates without having to introduce a new person?
      And if it is because he forgot to ask whether you could go in the first place, then surely you can't go anyway?

      You are getting stroppy for no reason IMO. I don't understand how you can be OK about him having nights with the lads but not nights with his workmates.
      Well...she says here that she's ok when he goes out on lads nights. For all we know, she kicks off about that as well. Wouldn't surprise me tbh, given what's been said on here. Once controlling, always controlling.
     
     
     
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