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Would like advice on my break up? Sorry its long :/ Watch

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    (Original post by s12dec10)
    i know, sorry its long!

    i hate feeling like this?! iv always been so independant, im generally a very optimistic, positive person and i ALWAYS find a reason to be happy and make other people happy too. But now, i can see my life falling to pieces.. i love this guy SO much, i knew when we broke up it would be bad, but i didnt realise itd be THIS bad, i feel like i just cant function?!

    I constantly feel unwell, the best i feel is still really ****. Anyone have any advice on how to go about this? I think the hardest thing is that i cant find a reason to dislike him, hes done nothing wrong! And i cant help but link everything that happens in my life to him.. iv always been so strong but right now im anything but..

    Any advice at all guys?
    The good news is that what you've got to do now is fairly straightforward.

    First, and most important: cut all contact with him. All contact. Delete from Facebook, remove his number from your phone, if he contacts you tell him to stop, avoid social situations which are likely to involve bumping into him.

    Second, focus: the pain of pissing away your future will last a lot longer than a break up. Don't just do your work; get support from your friends, do some sport (or just go jogging) and work your ass off for the exams you've got coming up.

    Breaking up is never enjoyable, but you'll get over it - people always do. Except Werther.
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    (Original post by s12dec10)
    Ahh i dont want to hurt anyones feelings!! I just want to get back with my ex SO much!! but obviously, not at the cost of losing my dignity. I hate feeling helpless.. id rather try and fail than not try at all! So is there any way at all i can make him miss me and want me back? Obviously the sooner the better but im not expecting a miracle to happen over night or anything. When i basically cut contact with him for a while apart from the passing hello.. he text me saying he misses the best friend within me. But he also said hes got feelings for me etc.. i thought i was doing it for the best?!

    I mean if weve both got such strong feelings for eachother, surely being around each other is not a good thing because we wont get over this. OR, worst case scenario, i wont get over it.. and he will. i know how much i liked him, and i know its not something ill get over quickly.. but its been slightly over a month now and i feel no better than i did minutes after the break up. If im honest, its only getting worse...

    What would you lot do now if you were in my situation?

    (thanks for your replies by the way guys!)
    If I was you, I would just really start to look at things from a logical point of view:

    It's going to take time to get past these feelings.
    It's going to be hard doing things that you would do normally, without him.
    It's going to be difficult seeing him, but would you rather not see him at all than see him and be friends?

    Something else. Do you feel you've given the relationship the best chances to get back on track?
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    (Original post by aws)
    I mean, we 'be together' to make your bf jealous.
    me and you?

    what?! who is this? :L yeah im sure when he finds out im in a relationship with someone on the internet will make him real jealous......... :|

    Sorry i didnt mean to be harsh, i just have no idea how this could work!
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    This is incredibly boring. You seem extremely whiny.
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    (Original post by Journalistic)
    The good news is that what you've got to do now is fairly straightforward.

    First, and most important: cut all contact with him. All contact. Delete from Facebook, remove his number from your phone, if he contacts you tell him to stop, avoid social situations which are likely to involve bumping into him.

    Second, focus: the pain of pissing away your future will last a lot longer than a break up. Don't just do your work; get support from your friends, do some sport (or just go jogging) and work your ass off for the exams you've got coming up.

    Breaking up is never enjoyable, but you'll get over it - people always do. Except Werther.
    cut all contact, really? what about with his family.. i tend to bump into one of them quite frequently (small town, the places they all work i go to quite often) . Really? completely just shut him out of my life?! i cant go from 100s texts a day, phone calls, spending hours together to nothing! itl be a huge void in my life! and we promised to always be friends if we ever broke up. He really is a great guy and id rather have the friendship i think? but just right now its impossible I want to some day look back on this and smile, we have no regrets. In years to come id like us to laugh at it together... so to do that im not sure if cutting all contact is good or bad?

    I know your right, but im finding it really really hard to concentrate?! i mean the intentions are there, iv spend this weekend indoors with my books and work.. yet iv done close to nothing. It just wont happen?!
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    (Original post by s12dec10)
    Long story short, we were really really in love.
    The short story was still long.
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    (Original post by Roo Bix)
    If I was you, I would just really start to look at things from a logical point of view:

    It's going to take time to get past these feelings.
    It's going to be hard doing things that you would do normally, without him.
    It's going to be difficult seeing him, but would you rather not see him at all than see him and be friends?

    I know:/ yeah i think i would rather see him and be friends, but i dont know how id handle it if i found out he liked someone else etc.. and i dont know if id ever get over it if we were friends.. would i just be making this process longer?

    Something else. Do you feel you've given the relationship the best chances to get back on track?
    i dont get what you mean by this?^ sorry :/ try and explain?
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    I know its long, i appologised in advance! :/ and to the person that said this is boring: umm ok, Sorry :s.
    You didnt need to read it though.. its not like i wrote it for your entertainment! haa
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    aaaww:console: just try to keep yourself busy. dont know, watching tv, reading books, going out..? it'll hopefully get better. time does heal wounds, just give it some time!
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    Ok... I don't mean to trump your story, but what you need is something to put things into perspective, believe me, you're not the only person going through this and you dont have to do it alone...

    Very quickly, my story - Got with my ex at 15. With her for 6 years. Basically living with her for the last 3. Engaged this august, aged 21. I left for uni in september, 150 miles away. 3 weeks later she leaves me for another guy (who was a new friend to both of us). Now this new guy has replaced me back at home and there's nothing I can do. 2 months later (now), I'm still not over it at all.

    What helps me, other than alcohol, is talking to people. Your parents will be there for you. Your friends will be there. Just talk to them, make them listen to you (if not, phone the samaritans, thats what they're there for). Exercise lots. Exercise more. Find new hobbies... Really think about it though, there must be something that you'd really enjoy doing! Try to keep yourself distracted. Avoid all contact with him, and if you cant avoid him, then ignore him.

    Perspective - you're young, healthy and alive. A lot of people don't even have that!
    Also, you say you're smart and attractive. You got nothing to worry about!
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    (Original post by Danamaganza)
    Ok... I don't mean to trump your story, but what you need is something to put things into perspective, believe me, you're not the only person going through this and you dont have to do it alone...

    Very quickly, my story - Got with my ex at 15. With her for 6 years. Basically living with her for the last 3. Engaged this august, aged 21. I left for uni in september, 150 miles away. 3 weeks later she leaves me for another guy (who was a new friend to both of us). Now this new guy has replaced me back at home and there's nothing I can do. 2 months later (now), I'm still not over it at all.

    What helps me, other than alcohol, is talking to people. Your parents will be there for you. Your friends will be there. Just talk to them, make them listen to you (if not, phone the samaritans, thats what they're there for). Exercise lots. Exercise more. Find new hobbies... Really think about it though, there must be something that you'd really enjoy doing! Try to keep yourself distracted. Avoid all contact with him, and if you cant avoid him, then ignore him.

    Perspective - you're young, healthy and alive. A lot of people don't even have that!
    Also, you say you're smart and attractive. You got nothing to worry about!
    sorry to hear that :/ What are you doing to get on with life? Im not an idiot, i guess i already know i should keep myself occupied and and revise for these exams.. life goes on! but i physically cannot do it! I know im young, healthy and alive and i genuinely am grateful! but its not making me feel any better about the situation... smart? only when i try really hard, now im failing... attractive? not always a good thing. I dont like being liked just because a guy thinks im good looking.

    I know load of people are single or are going through a similar situation.. i also know things could ALWAYS be worse! but right now nothing makes me feel better and the slightest thing is making me emotional?! and thats coming from a girl that doesnt ever cry really.. im good at containing my emotions. But these days all it takes is for someone to mention the name or something as little as that and i have to immediately change the topic because i dont like crying in front of people!
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    Just avoid contact, it doesn't matter that you promised to be friends you've broken up I'm sure breaking promise won't cause problems. I promised to be friends with my ex if we ever broke up, alas he didn't want to be friends end of. As long as you are civil it doesn't matter
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    100 texts a day AND a phone call?!?!
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    (Original post by s12dec10)
    sorry to hear that :/ What are you doing to get on with life? Im not an idiot, i guess i already know i should keep myself occupied and and revise for these exams.. life goes on! but i physically cannot do it! I know im young, healthy and alive and i genuinely am grateful! but its not making me feel any better about the situation... smart? only when i try really hard, now im failing... attractive? not always a good thing. I dont like being liked just because a guy thinks im good looking.

    I know load of people are single or are going through a similar situation.. i also know things could ALWAYS be worse! but right now nothing makes me feel better and the slightest thing is making me emotional?! and thats coming from a girl that doesnt ever cry really.. im good at containing my emotions. But these days all it takes is for someone to mention the name or something as little as that and i have to immediately change the topic because i dont like crying in front of people!
    I'm not really getting on with my life... not yet. All that stuff i've said to you is exactly what my friends and family have said to me. And what you've said to me is what I said to them... (get it?). Nothing anyone says will help. Hopefully time will.. though 2 months on and not much has changed.

    All i've done is set myself goals... Things for me to personally move on with my life. I read more. I cook more. I exercise more. I bought a skateboard... (at 21, I know thats sad!). I volunteer. And I jog. Try jogging.... trust me, it will help you sleep, and eat. That'll be a start.
 
 
 
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Updated: December 12, 2010
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