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My mum is beating the **** out of my little sister. Watch

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    Report her to the police. It's ILLEGAL, whatever ****ed up beleifs your 'mother' has, and whether it's wrong or not (it is), it's illegal, and you can stop it right now by growing a pair and calling the ****ing police. DO IT NOW!
    Good Luck.
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    If you think that people react to a situation in exactly the same way, then you're an idiot. People have different defence mechanisms- especially with something long-term like this.

    OP, that's awful of your mother. It's sad how the cycle continues (like with your older sister) but I'm really glad you're recognising that beating is not an effective or right. I think FormerlyFrisbeeFan has some really good suggestions. How old are you, if you don't mind saying? If intervening makes things worse, I would say just show your sister some support. Like, listen to her, show her some love, that kind of thing. It helps. I'm so sorry that you're in this horrible situation, and I'm sorry that TSRers are being... TSR-y about it.
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    My parent is iraqi and i never get hit that bad? heck i dont even get hit, and pinching on the arm is hardly classified as hitting....

    Frankly, your mums a *****. At least english people have the excuse of drinking to hit their kids, what has she got?
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    Are you physically stronger than your mum yet? If so, the next time a beating is imminent, stand in between your mum and sister, making it clear you're not giving up without a fight.
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    Call the social services or police and get that CRAZY woman taken away!! Your sister could be traumatised from such vile treatment - she's only 11 for Gods sake. Dont sit around hating yourself, that means nothing - film your mum being retarded or something - and get it out to police/social services ASAP!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I mean hitting, slapping, using books, shoes etc etc.

    Basically she has made her sit in my mums room and learn Quran. And then periodically asks her to read some arabic, if she fails she slaps/screams/threatens/beats her up. Every 10 mins or so this is happening. My sister is 11. I could step in like i have in the past but i'll just get slapped and my little sister will get doubly slapped and punished because she has my sympathy.

    It's so unfair and wrong. I don't want my wee sister to hate islam because of the ****ed up method my mum uses (even though she insists that the quran says using force to teach a disobedient child is encouraged). I'm an atheist (unbeknowest to my parents) but i don't want my little sister to lose faith without good reason, not over this.

    I can't stop my mum. Me and my big sister grew up with the same crazy abuse and mind **** ing. She's to busy being a medical student to care about this, she thinks that we came out okay yadayadayada. But i don't know what to think.

    I don't know why i am posting this other than for sympathy/attention because there is nothing that can be done. Some people are abusive by nature and religion is just an excuse to exercise it. Come to think of it my big sister beats my little sister for 'being dumb' or getting questions wrong. Muat be in the genes. It's weird because i love teaching, watching/helping someone progress. Hitting doesn't work.

    I'm digressing. My little sister will hate me for not intervening. I hate me. But if you're asian then you might be able to understand the level of control and power your parents have over you. Feel free to reply with a 'cool story bro'
    i logged in to just reply.
    All i really have to say is coming from an asian background I can totally understand your situation. All you or your sister can do is say to your mother that in Islam, hitting a child on the face is very sinful or leaving a bruise anywhere is also sinful. Hitting in general is an absolute last resort when nothing else works.

    She is only 11, she can learn slowly. You need to start pressuring your mother. Take some hits, I do for my siblings. But do not react in pain, make is look as if you dont feel any pain.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I mean hitting, slapping, using books, shoes etc etc.

    Basically she has made her sit in my mums room and learn Quran. And then periodically asks her to read some arabic, if she fails she slaps/screams/threatens/beats her up. Every 10 mins or so this is happening. My sister is 11. I could step in like i have in the past but i'll just get slapped and my little sister will get doubly slapped and punished because she has my sympathy.

    It's so unfair and wrong. I don't want my wee sister to hate islam because of the ****ed up method my mum uses (even though she insists that the quran says using force to teach a disobedient child is encouraged). I'm an atheist (unbeknowest to my parents) but i don't want my little sister to lose faith without good reason, not over this.

    I can't stop my mum. Me and my big sister grew up with the same crazy abuse and mind **** ing. She's to busy being a medical student to care about this, she thinks that we came out okay yadayadayada. But i don't know what to think.

    I don't know why i am posting this other than for sympathy/attention because there is nothing that can be done. Some people are abusive by nature and religion is just an excuse to exercise it. Come to think of it my big sister beats my little sister for 'being dumb' or getting questions wrong. Muat be in the genes. It's weird because i love teaching, watching/helping someone progress. Hitting doesn't work.

    I'm digressing. My little sister will hate me for not intervening. I hate me. But if you're asian then you might be able to understand the level of control and power your parents have over you. Feel free to reply with a 'cool story bro'
    Well your mother is wrong if she thinks the Qur'an prescribes heavy beating of an 1-year-old daughter as part of an educational process - it's simply not true. Who doesn't make mistakes apart from God? I'm a boy and in all of my Islamic lessons that I had up until the age of about 14, I was only hit twice, extremely lightly, so as not to even consider it hitting, and that was for messing around rather than for being incorrect. I suggest you read around the Qur'an's take on hitting one's children as part of something like teaching and then fire some quotes back at her, so as to save your sister, whether or not you believe.
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    I remember once when I was about 8 I was invited round to my Muslim friend's house for dinner. It was very strange The father would stand over the table while the rest of us tucked in to the food and he would cane my friend every time he spoke, I thought it was hilarious back then, I would purposefully talk to my friend so he spoke back and then laugh my head off as his father caned the crap out of him.

    I had another African Muslim friend who's mother would literally beat the crap out of him because he hadn't studied the Qur'an that night or some other silly trivial thing
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    the only thing i can think of is to have your lil sister bring up the fact that she is questioning her faith as a result of the harsh abuse... as it seems you are more worried about this than she is (and shes only 11) it will be alot easier for her to bring this up to your parents as i can tell you fear bringing this up. i know you only want whats best for your sister, but you could make the sacrifice of telling your parents you're now an aetheist as a result of this... then maybe things will change. good luck x
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    hmm I tried searching for verses which forbid hitting women/children but all I got was discussions on verses saying the opposite and their context...anyone who knows the book well got any verses which forbid her beating her child?

    OP I have to ask... does it hurt you what your Mum, since she seems very conservative, would think of you if you told her you didn't believe? Jahannam and all that? It's interesting people can think like that really. I mean England is pretty secular and so if you believe that stuff you're walking around knowing all these Kuffar are going to suffer eternally...fascinating.
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    Troll or not its a horrid description. There is no religion in the world which condones the beating of children as far as I m aware. The 'mother' in this description is abusing the child. Tell a trusted grown up such as your father, a teacher, the GP, the police, a wise relative, the priest in your religious organisation.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I mean hitting, slapping, using books, shoes etc etc.

    Basically she has made her sit in my mums room and learn Quran. And then periodically asks her to read some arabic, if she fails she slaps/screams/threatens/beats her up. Every 10 mins or so this is happening. My sister is 11. I could step in like i have in the past but i'll just get slapped and my little sister will get doubly slapped and punished because she has my sympathy.

    It's so unfair and wrong. I don't want my wee sister to hate islam because of the ****ed up method my mum uses (even though she insists that the quran says using force to teach a disobedient child is encouraged). I'm an atheist (unbeknowest to my parents) but i don't want my little sister to lose faith without good reason, not over this.

    I can't stop my mum. Me and my big sister grew up with the same crazy abuse and mind **** ing. She's to busy being a medical student to care about this, she thinks that we came out okay yadayadayada. But i don't know what to think.


    I don't know why i am posting this other than for sympathy/attention because there is nothing that can be done. Some people are abusive by nature and religion is just an excuse to exercise it. Come to think of it my big sister beats my little sister for 'being dumb' or getting questions wrong. Muat be in the genes. It's weird because i love teaching, watching/helping someone progress. Hitting doesn't work.

    I'm digressing. My little sister will hate me for not intervening. I hate me. But if you're asian then you might be able to understand the level of control and power your parents have over you. Feel free to reply with a 'cool story bro'
    Hello,

    I know you're an athiest but maybe by achieving some common ground with your mother might help

    Present her this quote:




    INTRODUCTION.
    WHAT IS ANGER.
    ANGER AND WRATH.
    IS ANGER LAWFUL OR NOT.
    AT THE TIME OF ANGER.
    SAYING OF PROPHET MUHAMMAD () ABOUT ANGER.
    THE VIRTUES OF CONTROLLING ONES ANGER.
    THE REMEDY FOR ANGER SHOWN BY OUR PROPHET MUHAMMAD ()
    CONCLUSION.
    INTRODUCTION

    Today my essay ( madmoom) is about ANGER. you will read on to find out what anger is and to see if ANGER is lawful or not . The aim and objective to read this essay is to practice what you learn and follow the way shown by our beloved Prophet Muhammad ( ) and not to become angry. I started this madmoom of by expaining what is anger and at end is a conclusion about anger.
    May ALLAH give everyone the ability to practice's upon what we read and give everyone jannat (paradise)
    Back

    WHAT IS ANGER?
    Anger is a secret weapon of man towards of evils but sometimes its result’s in the destruction of many noble qualities. It snatches away the wisdom of man and thus he becomes a brute beast devoid of any sense.
    Anger is a temptation of shaytaan and deception of shaytaan
    Anger is the root of all evils.
    Anger is a spark of fire that are always bursting.
    Anger is a very bad condition that weakens the person Iman (FAITH)
    The meaning of anger is a rage fierce, displeasure, passion excited by a sense of wrong , physical pain, inflammation, mad, hot tempered, choleric, inflamed, A violent passion excited by real or supposed injury.
    Anger is the strong feeling caused by extreme displeasure.
    Anger is a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure and hostility.
    Back
    ANGER AND WRATH.

    When someone is angry, mad, and reaches a state of having wrath against any person, he should make a special Du'a. In doing so he will cool down . It is reported that the Messenger of Allah said ( narrated by Sulaiman Ibn Sard and reported by Bukhari and Muslim ) that while Sulaiman was with the Prophet ( ), two persons were blaming each other. The face of one became red and his jugular veins swelled. the Prophet ( ) said. I know a statement if he or she say's it then the person with anger will cool down.
    The person with anger should say : "I SEEK REFUGE IN ALLAH FROM SATAN THE OUTCAST."

    IS ANGER LAWFUL OR NOT ?
    Back
    Anger is lawful in cases of religious affair's when its honours are at stake. It is an effective preventive measure to safeguard the dignity of man. A person who has no anger is called a coward because he has got no true faith in Allah. The person fears the creation and not the creator. This doesn't give the right for youngsters to become angry with parents when they don't get what they want.
    If a person doesn't practice Islam, a person disobeys the command of Allah or a person doesn't listen to his parents then to become angry with such a person can be lawful. But the person shouldn't become too angry because in Islam extreme anger is unlawful because it creates opposition and bitterness.
    It is undesirable for a pious man to lose his temper, due to jokes, frivolous talks, quarrels, criticism and greed for wealth.
    The real strength of a man lies in controlling his wrath. i.e. Anger.
    It is reported in a Hadith on the authority of Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) that the messenger of Allah (Mohammed ( ) Peace and blessing of Allah be upon him said :

    "The man is not a good wrestler; the strong man is in fact the person who controls himself at the time of anger."
    the above Hadith is stated in Bukhari.
    Anger is unlawful because it destroys the faith of a man. Bah bin hakim (Allah be please with him) Reported that the messenger of Allah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) . Said: Verily anger spoil's faith just as aloes spoils honey .
    It is stated in Bukhari.:
    " A person should be cautious from being angry."
    Back
    It has been narrated by Abu Huraira (May Allah be pleased with him) That Allah's Messenger Muhammad ( ) Said:

    “ The strong is not the one who over comes the people by his strength”
    "But the strong is the one who controls him while in anger."
    In another narration by Abu Huraira (May Allah be pleased with him man said to the Prophet Muhammad ( ) Advise me.
    The Prophet Muhammad (). Said :

    " Do not become angry “
    The man asked the same question again and again and the Prophet Muhammad () Replied by in case by saying:

    “ Do not become angry and furious”
    Back

    By looking from the advise given by our beloved Prophet Muhammad () we shouldn't become anger and furious. If we remember the advise and saying of our beloved Prophet Muhammad ( )then the person becoming angry will control his anger.
    But the youngster today have forgotten the teaching of our Prophet Muhammad () there become angry and furious for small reason like if their parent tell them to do something which their donut like there say to the parent in anger that I donut what to do it like cleaning the house or the toilet. So the best person is one who controls him self in anger.

    Hadrat Anas: (Allah be pleased with him) reported that the messenger of Allah ( Muhammad( ) said:
    Who so takes up his tongue as treasure Allah will keep his secrets concealed and who so restrains his anger Allah will with hold his punishment on the resurrection day and who so ascribes excuse to Allah will accept his excuse.
    So by reading this we should refrain from becoming anger. Because anger destroys one faith. The person in anger forgets where he is and says anything which he regrets after.
    Back
    Today people are becoming angry because of the lifestyle and the society we live in. When a person is under stress he or she tends to become angry because the jobs not done or their children donut listen to them. There become angry and the anger is taken out on the child.
    When a person becomes angry to their parent then that mean he's angry with Allah Paradise lies between your parent . If you treat them and help them then Allah will reward you in this world and the hereafter. But if you displeased your parent
    this means you are displeasing Allah then the person will be deprived from Allah's mercy. and the person will get punish in the hereafter.
    The aim and objective of reading this is to practice what has been written and refine from becoming angry. To become angry for Islamic reason is permissible but it shouldn't cause anyone harm.
    Women should control their anger. because anger effects everyone. So anger is lawful for islamic reason and if ones hourner is at risk's.Other then this Anger is not permissible.
    Back

    AT THE TIME OF ANGER

    As humans beings, we have our our emotions. We react in either positive or negative emotions. Sometimes we may lose our logic and we cannot control our emotions. Hence, we behave in a strange way.
    For those who lose control of their emotions and react negatively they have to be advised in advance what to do in such a situation. Our beloved Prophet () gave us a prescription that makes us control our negative behavior. By using it, we will not show our anger and madness . Our blood pressure will stay normal. All what it takes is that a person has to read the following statement at the time of anger and wrath.:

    " I SEEK REFUGE IN ALLAH FROM THE OUTCAST SHAITAN "

    ( THE WORD YOU HAVE TO READ IS IN ARABIC AND IT IS TAW'WAZ.) Back

    From a personal experience, dealing with children fighting one another and with family counselling, this prescription has worked beautifully. I enencourage that we recite it loudly for at least three times at the time of anger . Allah will send special angels to protect us from the mischievous Shaitan. Remember what Allah said in Surah Fussilat

    ( This surah is in the 24th parah Ayat 36 in the holy Qur'ran ) the meaning is below ( Ayah 36):

    " AND IF AN EVIL WHISPER FROM SHAITAN ( SATAN) TRIES TO TURN YOU AWAY ( OH MUHAMMAD() ( FROM DOING GOOD ), THEN SEEK REFUGE IN ALLAH. VERILY, HE IS THE ALL-HEARER, THE ALL- KNOWER "
    Back
    So the best person is one who controls him self in anger.
    When a person is angry he should make wudu (Ablution ) ) and then he should recite the verses from the Holy Qur'ran the anger should have gone away. The person should prey Taw'waz (aeo zo billahi mnashayta nirazam) and then prey ( Ayatul kursi) which is in the Holy Qur'ran . ( 3rd para 2nd ruku )
    Every person male or female should try to recite the Holy Qur'ran everyday because by reciting the Holy Qur'ran it takes away the anger and the heart will become clean.
    Anger effects everyone it doesn't matter if the person is young, old, male, and female. So one should try to control one’s anger. There is a great reward given to the person who controls his anger.
    May Allah give eveyone the abilty to practices upon the Qur'ran and the way shown by our Prophet Muhammad ().
    Back
    SAYING OF PROPHET MUHAMMAD ( ) ABOUT ANGER.

    Allah's Messenger ( )Said a Muslim is never allowed to stay angry with his Muslim brother over three day's , because he who does that, then dies will go to hell ( FIRE ) . ( This is reported by Abu Dawood ) (Sahih Al - Jami ) ( page 7609).

    The messenger of Allah (Prophet Muhammad ( says about anger:
    “ Anger is the effect of shaytaan and shaytaan was created from fire. And water extinguishes fire."
    It is narrated in Bukhari that two people were arguing in the presence of Rasulullah ( ) One of the two became so angry that his face went red and his veins swelled. Rasulullah () Lifted his face towards that person and said to him that I know a sentence if you were to say it your anger will go away. The sentence is ( taw’wz ). The translation is as follows:

    “ I SEEK ALLAH'S PROTECTION FROM THE CURSED DEVIL"
    Back
    THE VIRTUES OF CONTROLLING ONES ANGER.

    There are many virtues in Ahadeeth recarding a person who controls his anger. In Tabraani . ( A book of Hadeeth ). It is narrated that Rasulullah ( ) Said : Who ever controls there temper Allah will take away punishment from him and who so ever safe guard's his tongue Allah will conceal his sins.
    In another Hadeeth which is narrated in (Tirmizi and Abu Dawood): Rasulullah() Who ever controls their temper in a state that if he wanted he could have took revenge. Then On the day of judgement Allah will call him in front of everyone and will give him the choice of picking the Hoor of his choice. So by controlling your anger Allah will give the choice of picking any Hoor from Paradise (Jannat). But today youngsters have forgotten the world hear after and there are to indulge in this world that we have forgotten the command of Allah and the way shown by our beloved Prophet Muhammad () so from now on we should change our lifestyle. And we should live our life according to the way shown by our beloved Prophet
    Muhammad (). because success in this world and the hereafter lies in the command of Allah and the way shown by our beloved Prophet Muhammad.(). May Allah gives us the ability to practice upon this ( Aamin ).


    Or explain it and tell her she's a hypocrite for teaching her to learn Al-Qur'an in a violent manner when clearly it preaches peace.

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    hey
    you should really discuss it out with ur mum, say to her that if she really wants ur sister to learn the Quran and keep readin it for the rest of her life, then teach her it with love
    wen i was little i used 2 do a thousand accuses to not read it...lik real obv ones (im too sleepy....or falll asleep while im readin jus 2 get out of it) but my mum neva beat me up...(unless i reli took da piss...i wud get a smack on my head once or twice actuali) bu majority of the tyms..she used to sing like a nursery rhyme to encourage me....and that jus has good momeories of wen i was learning the quran...and now...im in love with it and read it everday as its a source of guideline for my daily life.
    so you shud reli tel ur mum....that if she relly wants a good long-term affect on ur sister she shud teach her with love...doesnt matter how long it takes...but u dont want to loose ur child.
    i know its hard with asian parents...i did get the smacking too wen i was lil but in regards to relgion my parents wud refrain from beatin me up...coz they wanted me to love it not hate it.
    try talkin to ur mum im sure she aint dat bad...i thot my mum jus wudnt understand somethings bcoz she was born in da east but...once u discuss it...ull see they aint tat bad...orr...if u think its impossible to tlk 2 her...then get sum1 else to...lik a close aunty or uncle...dat shud work too
    DONT call social services...dont be stupid...asian problems are not understood by social sevices inmy opinion...u can sort problems out urself...
    hope this helps!!!
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      (Original post by Anonymous)
      I mean hitting, slapping, using books, shoes etc etc.

      Basically she has made her sit in my mums room and learn Quran. And then periodically asks her to read some arabic, if she fails she slaps/screams/threatens/beats her up. Every 10 mins or so this is happening. My sister is 11. I could step in like i have in the past but i'll just get slapped and my little sister will get doubly slapped and punished because she has my sympathy.

      It's so unfair and wrong. I don't want my wee sister to hate islam because of the ****ed up method my mum uses (even though she insists that the quran says using force to teach a disobedient child is encouraged). I'm an atheist (unbeknowest to my parents) but i don't want my little sister to lose faith without good reason, not over this.

      I can't stop my mum. Me and my big sister grew up with the same crazy abuse and mind **** ing. She's to busy being a medical student to care about this, she thinks that we came out okay yadayadayada. But i don't know what to think.

      I don't know why i am posting this other than for sympathy/attention because there is nothing that can be done. Some people are abusive by nature and religion is just an excuse to exercise it. Come to think of it my big sister beats my little sister for 'being dumb' or getting questions wrong. Muat be in the genes. It's weird because i love teaching, watching/helping someone progress. Hitting doesn't work.

      I'm digressing. My little sister will hate me for not intervening. I hate me. But if you're asian then you might be able to understand the level of control and power your parents have over you. Feel free to reply with a 'cool story bro'
      Maybe what you need to do is stand up, even though you know what'll happen. I'm not being callus (well, I'm not trying to be), but if you stand up for your sister, you might eventually show your mother how good a Muslim you are. But then, if she punishes your sister for having your affection and sympathy, she's scared that you're already a better Muslim than she.

      Have you sat and quietly talked to your mother or your sister?

      Surely Islam charges parents to love their children? This is something I never seem to understand. If anyone can tell me about what Islam says about this, I'd be very grateful.

      Anyway, OP, if you want someone to talk to, PM me. I'm not a Muslim (I'll say now that I do have problems with some of the ideas), but I understand that you believe in what you believe in, as I believe in what I do, so I'll try and support you, if you need someone to give you a hug every now and again.
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      (Original post by mummyperson)
      Troll or not its a horrid description. There is no religion in the world which condones the beating of children as far as I m aware.
      Christianity does... there are several advocations of physically punishing children in the Bible, particularly in 'Proverbs'. "Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell," for instance
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      (Original post by FormerlyFrisbeeFan)
      How dare people on here call you a troll. You are totally believable. I'm not muslim, but I am a teacher with a strong interest in psychology, and I can well believe that your mum might do this - sick though it is. I know what you mean about thinking that anything you do will only make things worse - but you have to feel like you've tried something! I'm sad to say this, but I think your older sister has become accustomed to institutional bullying in your household, and has therefore become part of the system. This does, however, reflect well on you, because you've not done this. You've not had your mind twisted into thinking that it's ok to beat a little girl. Your post on here could be the start of a process that ends with your sister being saved - IF YOU TAKE ACTION! But if you don't, and the abuse continues - then you run the risk of your little sister turning out the same as your older sister.

      You should secretly tell somebody at your sister's school. All schools have a person designated to deal with child protection issues. In primary schools, this is almost always the headteacher. Ring them up, and make an appointment to see them - don't tell them all the details over the phone. If you report to the headteacher you must firstly write down the details. Write down everything that has happened, quote your mother in her tirades. Quote your sister, though you MUSTN'T at all costs ask her any 'leading questions' such as 'how does this make you feel', or 'I bet you don't like that, do you?'. This is really important. Just let her tell you things as she likes. DO NOT tell her that you're going to go into her school, though. The designated child protection person will keep all information strictly confidential, unless they think they have to tell authorities. but most likely, they will simply keep a closer eye on your sister, and if anyone makes any further statements with regards to her, then things will be taken further. Your mum will not be informed that you have made contact.
      You should really take this advice. Ignore people who seem to be justifying your mum's behaviour as normal, it's not okay and it is obviously affecting you and your siblings otherwise you wouldn't have come on TSR asking for help. Alternatively, you could contact the NSPCC or Childline and they can give you fantastic advice on how to deal with the situation.

      http://www.childline.org.uk/Pages/Home.aspx

      http://www.nspcc.org.uk/
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      (Original post by the_alba)
      Christianity does... there are several advocations of physically punishing children in the Bible, particularly in 'Proverbs'. "Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell," for instance
      This is an issue, some people are stupid enough to take it literally and go around hurting or abusing kids like it's the right thing to do when it is not.
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      (Original post by IndigoRockGirl)
      Report her to the police. It's ILLEGAL, whatever ****ed up beleifs your 'mother' has, and whether it's wrong or not (it is), it's illegal, and you can stop it right now by growing a pair and calling the ****ing police. DO IT NOW!
      Good Luck.
      Agreed.
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      The fact that your mother is doing this because of religion shows how retarded religion is. If a mother is to be blamed for their children's behaviour, why shouldn't religion be blamed in this instance?
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      Any religion that condones hurting a child is ****ed up. This is child abuse and will seriously effect your sister! Your older sister may say she has turned out alright but she's willing to punish your younger sister also = ****ed up! (sounds like she approves of violence because of how she was treated and will treat her children the same) I would never put a hand on a younger sibling if anything I would protect them.

      Your mother needs sorting out! I can't stand people who beat defenceless children. Warn her and if she beats your sister harder then report her. Your sister will hate you for watching her in pain when she needs you.
     
     
     
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