Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    U definitely arent alone in ur principles but there are progressively fewer people who stick 2 their guns on this and quite frankly I dont think ur principle will last very long, its usually the religious girls who manage it and most of them who say they wouldnt do it have done it plenty they just cant afford 2 say it. But good luck while it lasts, control in any area is admirable even if the reasoning is debatable.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Awesome-ness)

    Do you realise what you just said was extremely condescending?
    + I'd say long term is around 6 months? No?

    And by the way, please don't speak to me like I'm a child. I've been dating since I was 14. Not that it's any of your business.
    well your attitude is pretty naive and childish...
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Awesome-ness)
    No, I'm hardly religious at all. And no I'm not waiting 'for the hell of it'. I think it would be more special if I wait. I guess not many people see eye to eye with me on this. Ah well. I didn't expect much!
    In my opinion, it's more special to have sex lots and lots of times with my bf than for us to get wound up in frustration!
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    Marriage is outdated and unneccesary in todays society. Unless you are religious, i see no reason for marriage.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    To answer your question OP, no, because civilisation has moved on and contraception is freely available.

    I admire your determination and how *I suppose* you're in control of your own sexuality but that's it. Virgin, not a virgin? Meh, neither makes you more or less of a person so get off your high horse.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Well I don't even believe in marriage. Why do two people need to be legally binded together to prove they love each other, I find the whole idea unromantic and frankly a bit ridiculous. People tend to do it to prove their love for other people, not themselves...

    However, I don't have a problem with you wanting to wait, personally I wouldn't, but if it something symbolic for you, then go ahead (you'll probabily have some trouble finding a guy to agree... but I suspect there are some out there!)
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    To all the people asking why she should wait, have you considered asking yourself why she shouldn't wait? It's her decision. Leave her be.

    I hate to tell you that things don't get easier from here. University is full of people having sex (Hormones run at like an insane high + alcohol). Stilll...as long as you aren't judging them and aren't frigid there won't be a problem.

    I came to University single and am yet to be in a relationship (although, I'm sort of 'seeing someone') and I'm told that I don't come off as a virgin which is why I still get chatted up by guys I suppose...

    I'm not going to lie, it does take serious fortitude not to cave, but for me I figure that if I've waited 18 years then there's no point throwing my virginity away. If someone likes me enough then they will wait for me and will accept this.

    And there are plenttttty of boys here. I'm sure there will be at least a few which share your values
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Most people (including me) see no point in waiting. But if it's what you want, then fair enough. Don't let yourself get pressured into something you don't feel comfortable with.
    I don't know what your reasons for thinking this way are, whether it is your religion or just something you believe. I will say though, if your parents have pushed you into this idea, don't be afraid to go against them. It's your life, up to you.

    Your best bet is to try to meet guys at Church or something who will share your view.

    Also, you are only 17, you can't have had "long term" relationships. The guys you have been out with have (presumably) been teenagers, wanting sex but not at all ready to be thinking about marriage! As you get older (and you date older guys) you are more likely to find people who will be okay with your wish to wait until marriage.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I'm not trying to change your opinion here, but you have you r own views and I have mine. I just want to ask you this; what happens if you and the partner you married are not sexually compatible? (i.e. one of you has a kink the other doesn't like/generally not feeling it in bed)
    Your entire marriage would have a massive dent in it because of that.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Awesome-ness)
    No, I'm hardly religious at all. And no I'm not waiting 'for the hell of it'. I think it would be more special if I wait. I guess not many people see eye to eye with me on this. Ah well. I didn't expect much!
    If you're hoping it'll be super awesome by waiting then you're going to be in for one hell of a disappointment when you find out that time has no effect on it.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Cold_sky)
    If you're hoping it'll be super awesome by waiting then you're going to be in for one hell of a disappointment when you find out that time has no effect on it.
    Well said Cold_sky.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Annonymous_47)
    I do! I'm not religious either, to me it just seems logical - if you're not ready for the responsibility of children then you shouldn't be having sex. And I would hate to have children if I weren't married
    You're right! Contraception doesn't exist!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I think the points just made are the most important, sex is one of the most enjoyable things we can do and I'm not saying that you should go out and have sex all the time but if you were in a relationship with someone you liked then i think it's a good thing to have sex. You're neglecting developing a huge part of what it is to be an adult human! Also variety is the spice of life and as romantic as you may find it in my view it would be a shame to go through life only ever having had one sexual partner, though obviously you can go too far in the other direction!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I don't get why the hell people think engaging in penetrative sexual activity should only come AFTER committing to spend the rest of your life with someone? "NO, I CANNOT POSSIBLY BE PLEASURED BY YOU UNTIL I HAVE YOUR SECOND NAME".
    They are 2 separate things, not completely, but certainly not a "First X then Y"
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by a_t)
    No, waiting is for weirdos

    lol how many long term relationships can you have had at 17?
    Also, THIS.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    you are 100% correct. i believe in the same thing. though i am a guy, i always thaught my first time with a girl would be when we both could connect both emotionally and physically and not just "experimenting". sex should be only when you are truly in love and ready to commit to each other for rest of your life. it feels right and more satisfying then anything else
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Its interesting how you went anonymous and then introduced yourself.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi, I'm Rosalie. I'm a girl, 17. I've had wuite a few boyfriends so far, most of them long term. The thing is, I've made the decision to wait until I'm married to have sex but no guy wants to wait. I get the whole teen guy thing and wanting to try new things, have sex etc. But seriously.. Does NO ONE wait anymore? Girls or guys? Wow. I'm v. confused.

    Thanks. <3
    Hey i know what your saying is right. I'm a Christian. I guess you are to right? when I was 17 I met a very pretty girl but I also wanted to wait until marriage. However she was in my face to much and teasing me with her body and I couldn't take it no-more. I slept with her and the next day I felt guilty. I'm still having sex with girls now 2 years on, but I think if i'd of said no to the girl back then I would still have been a virgin. But hey be strong and don't give in.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    [QUOTE=Awesome-ness;28885906]
    (Original post by Threepigs)

    Do you realise what you just said was extremely condescending?
    + I'd say long term is around 6 months? No?

    And by the way, please don't speak to me like I'm a child. I've been dating since I was 14. Not that it's any of your business.
    6 Months does not equate long term. At 17 I had been in a 3 and a half year relationship. Thats long term, for a teenager. 6 Months is pretty average.
    Average for most relationships that my friends are in and I only turned 18 last month.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Threepigs)
    (Original post by a_t)
    No, waiting is for weirdos

    lol how many long term relationships can you have had at 17?

    This..
    OP 3months does not equate long term.


    + if you really only want sex after marriage go to a Church or something.
    That's a bit of a generalisation, I'm 16 and I was with one guy for a year and a half. Yes, we were 14 when we got together. Yes, we were young. That doesn't mean we weren't in a long term relationship.

    But I agree with the last bit. OP, there are religious boys out there that will share your beliefs and values, on this topic and other things. If people aren't religious, they're unlikely to wait. Personally, if you're in a long term relationship and you love & trust eachother, I don't see what the problem would be, but it's up to the individuals involved. Good luck.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: December 17, 2010
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Did TEF Bronze Award affect your UCAS choices?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.