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    I've been in the same situation as you so know how you feel. I'm also a med student, but in 3rd year, and at times have felt unbareably lonely. There are times when you're hoping the journey back to uni will be delayed so you can stay in your parents car just a little longer, and then you hold back the tears until your parents leave so you can cry without upsetting them. But honestly, it will get better. You'll make friends throughout uni, as with medicine you're constantly being split up and paired with different people on placement, and medics in general are easy to talk to people. But then outside of medicine, there are so many different people at uni, theres bound to be many more like you. Just push yourself a little and ask someone you sit next to if they fancy going to see a new film thats come out etc or ask if you can go out with their group next time and if they're worth talking to in the first place, they'll say yes. They probably dont realise how you're feeling and think you have other friends you'd rather spend time with.
    Don't worry about it too much. Just enjoy your holiday and then throw yourself back into the new term with a fresh start. You've only been there for 1 term anyway, not everyone will be lucky enough to find their BFF straight away
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    One thing that many medics don't seem to understand -

    Non-medics are people too. You can talk to them.
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    yesss Bslforever, i was looking forward to making lots of nonmedic friends because i think it would be nice to know people who are not on your course but in my new flat, all the nonmedics have bonded already and i don't see them much because i come back late from lectures and by that time, i have lots of work to do next term i am going to try harder to hang out with my flatmates and also join some societies and try and hang out with people that i meet from them. Hopefully it will work. thanks for everyone's advice. it really does help
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    (Original post by LeanneJB)
    I guess you could say i feel the same way about uni. Don't get me wrong i've made friends here, but i can't ignore the fact that everywhere i look , people are enjoying themselves on a level i can't comprehend whilst being here. It got off to a bad start with my halls. I was put in a flat with people alot older than me, meaning that we're civil but we never hang out. I tend to rely on other groups to tell me when they're going for lunch/dinner etc (we're catered) and sometimes people forget to tell me or leave their phone in their rooms and i end up eating alone. I came to the conclusion that something needs to change. I know myself, and i know that im not BEING myself here. I simply don't like the place, and have decided to leave. Im currently waiting to hear back from new universities and im back home feeling like myself again. Im sorry that your parents aren't as supportive as mine were, but you're an adult now and you need to start making decisions based on yourself and how you're feeling, not how its going to make your parents feel. In the end, things will always work out. Go with your instinct and try to stay positive in the process.
    I feel like this ALL the time
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    hey guys,
    i followed some of the advice people gave me last term and i joined a society and i am close friends with three people on my course but i really don't know what to do - they all have boy friends and they spend every free weekend with their boyfriends so we rarely do anything together. They are all older than me so i feel really young and left out sometimes.
    I try to make them go out with me but so far it has never happened because they are always busy working or visiting their boyfriends. I have managed to have two movie nights at my flat but thats it. I am living with them next year but i don't know how it is going to be because we never do anything outside of lectures that is fun. what do i do? i haven't been out much with friends since coming to uni and i currently don't do anything fun. Should I just go to societies and the socials there?

    I thought I should get to know more people on my course by going to the med school socials but I feel very awkward going on my own when everyone else would be there with their friends and I haven't been to any of the socials so would it be too late? is it weird to suddenly go to a social on your own without your friends?

    i would be really grateful if anyone could help!
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    (Original post by mv2010)
    Hey

    Just wanted to get OP's attention

    Sorry for the long post
    Hey OP,

    So in my first term I was really good friends wiht this girl in my flat, and unknowlingly, to the detriment of my other relationships with pretty much everyone at Uni. So anyway, we ended up getting together, despite it being against my gut feeling, but needless to say, it went COMPLETELY tits up. I ended up with basically no friends at University becuase i was so depressed, no one to live with as my flat decided not to pick sides. Basically, it was looking pretty bleak towards the end of the 1st term and I got really close to dropping out because i just couldnt face coming back. On top of it all, I'd had to leave my horse at home because of not having the time at University, which made everything even worse.

    Im glad I didnt tho - i came back, got on with it, sorted my housing out, got on top of the work I'd fallen behind with, went on to win a mooting competition against 2nd and 3rd years, Im now really good mates with my flat again, I've got good friends on my course and a girlfriend who I absolutely adore - I was talking to my mum about it, and she pointed out how much better things had gotten and how 5 months ago it didnt seem like they would. Stick with it OP, things will pick up.

    If you want to talk to someone who's been through a bad patch at Uni, please feel free to PM me
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    (Original post by Gallabay)
    Hey OP,

    So in my first term I was really good friends wiht this girl in my flat, and unknowlingly, to the detriment of my other relationships with pretty much everyone at Uni. So anyway, we ended up getting together, despite it being against my gut feeling, but needless to say, it went COMPLETELY tits up. I ended up with basically no friends at University becuase i was so depressed, no one to live with as my flat decided not to pick sides. Basically, it was looking pretty bleak towards the end of the 1st term and I got really close to dropping out because i just couldnt face coming back. On top of it all, I'd had to leave my horse at home because of not having the time at University, which made everything even worse.

    Im glad I didnt tho - i came back, got on with it, sorted my housing out, got on top of the work I'd fallen behind with, went on to win a mooting competition against 2nd and 3rd years, Im now really good mates with my flat again, I've got good friends on my course and a girlfriend who I absolutely adore - I was talking to my mum about it, and she pointed out how much better things had gotten and how 5 months ago it didnt seem like they would. Stick with it OP, things will pick up.

    If you want to talk to someone who's been through a bad patch at Uni, please feel free to PM me

    hey
    what i find hard is the social side of things because i've never really been clubbing (i just went for the first time during the holidays with my school friends to familiarise myself with it), i tried alcohol and i've found out that i find drinking,clubbing etc very boring and unenjoyable. Also, my parents are poor so i can't ask them for money - i have to live on my student finance. That makes it hard for me to get to meet new people since every single social that my med school has involves drinking.

    When i try to do something fun with my friends, they are busy because of their boyfriends so i feel like i have not made any friends that i can do stuff i like with. I am going to more societies next term - i am going to make real effort but i feel uncomfortable going socials because i have never been to these things before so i feel awkward going on my own. Is there any way to get rid of this awkward feeling?

    I just want to make some good friends at uni and have some good memories to look back on because i am going to spend five years here so i don't want to hate it. any tips on how i can make friends without going through the whole clubbing thing?
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    just think of all the nug when you become a doctor. money lies within the eye of the beholder. ye thats right.
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    If you hate uni then that's no reason whatsoever to duck out and waste all that money, time and effort. If you're failing, well that's a different story.

    You're there for the degree. If you want the experience, get pissed with work friends and crash at theirs at 5am. It's practically the same thing, but you can do it when you know you've worked hard and you deserve it.
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    (Original post by mv2010)
    hey
    what i find hard is the social side of things because i've never really been clubbing (i just went for the first time during the holidays with my school friends to familiarise myself with it), i tried alcohol and i've found out that i find drinking,clubbing etc very boring and unenjoyable. Also, my parents are poor so i can't ask them for money - i have to live on my student finance. That makes it hard for me to get to meet new people since every single social that my med school has involves drinking.

    When i try to do something fun with my friends, they are busy because of their boyfriends so i feel like i have not made any friends that i can do stuff i like with. I am going to more societies next term - i am going to make real effort but i feel uncomfortable going socials because i have never been to these things before so i feel awkward going on my own. Is there any way to get rid of this awkward feeling?

    I just want to make some good friends at uni and have some good memories to look back on because i am going to spend five years here so i don't want to hate it. any tips on how i can make friends without going through the whole clubbing thing?
    Hmm, my life was made easier by the fact that i enjoy drinking - it could just be your drinking with the wrong people/wrong drink. I dont care what anyone says, cocktails just taste so nice a fruity :rolleyes:

    I see what you mean about socials, i went on a riding club social like once, i was the only guy (i worked on the pro circuit for a year) in a bunch of girls who were already good friends. That was fun. Not been back since. But, i think perseverance is the key. Your always gonna feel a bit awkward in new social situations until you start to make friends, its pretty standard.

    Money wise, if you can stand it - get a job. I have to help put myself through Uni along with Loans.

    I hope this is some help, please feel free to stay in touch.
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    out of curiosity which medschool are you at?
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    (Original post by mv2010)
    hey
    what i find hard is the social side of things because i've never really been clubbing (i just went for the first time during the holidays with my school friends to familiarise myself with it), i tried alcohol and i've found out that i find drinking,clubbing etc very boring and unenjoyable. Also, my parents are poor so i can't ask them for money - i have to live on my student finance. That makes it hard for me to get to meet new people since every single social that my med school has involves drinking.

    When i try to do something fun with my friends, they are busy because of their boyfriends so i feel like i have not made any friends that i can do stuff i like with. I am going to more societies next term - i am going to make real effort but i feel uncomfortable going socials because i have never been to these things before so i feel awkward going on my own. Is there any way to get rid of this awkward feeling?

    I just want to make some good friends at uni and have some good memories to look back on because i am going to spend five years here so i don't want to hate it. any tips on how i can make friends without going through the whole clubbing thing?
    What are your interests? If you tell us we may be able to tell you where to go to meet like-minded people

    Btw I totally know how you feel. My course is really intense, I got freshers flu and got behind with work in the first semester, meaning that I struggled to make proper friends. That then developed into depression which just makes everything 10 times worse. I get upset about being lonely and too much work, which means I can't concentrate and then get even more behind with work! This leaves me with absolutely no time to socialise with people I know or meet new people. It's a horrible cycle that I hope to get out of during the summer :/
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    (Original post by wanderlust.xx)
    If you hate uni then that's no reason whatsoever to duck out and waste all that money, time and effort. If you're failing, well that's a different story.

    You're there for the degree. If you want the experience, get pissed with work friends and crash at theirs at 5am. It's practically the same thing, but you can do it when you know you've worked hard and you deserve it.
    hey sorry i don't quite get what you are saying sorry do you mean i should concentrate on my degree and then focus on the other stuff? I am on top of my work and have passed all my exams so far so i don't have any problems there. It's just that i thought i would have good experiences and make great friends at uni and so far i've just been trying to deny the fact that i'm not enjoying uni and focusing on my work. I really want to turn things around but find it a little hard because i am not the drinking, partying type of person. I'd rather just go the movies, restaurants etc.
    I am quiet as well so most of the time I listen to what people are saying but don't talk much so people tend to forget that I exist which I know isn't their fault since I should be the one making the effort, not them.
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    (Original post by ameelia22)
    out of curiosity which medschool are you at?
    hey i don't feel comfortable saying it here because i am making it sound really bad when it is actually my fault that i am not enjoying it here
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    (Original post by pippa90)
    What are your interests? If you tell us we may be able to tell you where to go to meet like-minded people

    Btw I totally know how you feel. My course is really intense, I got freshers flu and got behind with work in the first semester, meaning that I struggled to make proper friends. That then developed into depression which just makes everything 10 times worse. I get upset about being lonely and too much work, which means I can't concentrate and then get even more behind with work! This leaves me with absolutely no time to socialise with people I know or meet new people. It's a horrible cycle that I hope to get out of during the summer :/
    well i like reading, watching films, singing (I don't know if I am any good at all) that sort of thing. I have joined a dance soc although i can't dance. Just thought I'd try new things.
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    (Original post by mv2010)
    well i like reading, watching films, singing (I don't know if I am any good at all) that sort of thing. I have joined a dance soc although i can't dance. Just thought I'd try new things.
    Do you have a film society which you could join? If not, make one! We have one at our uni Look out for book clubs too perhaps? I know it sounds like something middle aged women do but if you love books it could be interesting and a great way to meet fellow book-lovers Join a choir for your singing? The possibilities are endless!
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    (Original post by TheSownRose)
    Speaking as a non-drinker, I would say it's terrible - there's nothing for you to really go other than watch your friends enjoy the night, because there's little enjoyable about clubbing itself.

    Last time I tried, I left halfway through. No one even realised.
    For health reasons, I'm off alcohol and have been out clubbing for the past month sober. I have a good time. I guess the trick is to just not be self consious. Talk to people in the smoking area (you don't have to smoke, just go out with your smoking mates), dance, dance with randoms if you've got the balls. Alcohol is only there to produce the confidence that allows people to have a good time. If you've got that already, or just go with it even if you don't, you should have a good night.
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    Hello

    So I've finished my first year of medical school but I still don't like my medical school and don't feel like I fit in at all. I know this is all my fault but I am lost and I keep crying everytime I think about how much I was looking forward to uni this time last year and how much I dread going back to uni in september. Since going to uni, I've lost all my confidence - I built up a lot of self-confidence when I was at school but I don't have that any more- I hate everythigng about myself and keep thinking that I am a failure for not enjoying uni as much as my friends.

    I feel so hopeless and trapped. I don't know what to do. How do I regain my confidence? I think constantly feeling low at uni has also afffected my grades because I feel like I could have done much better in some of my exams if I had been happier at the time. I don't want this to carry on next year as well. I am having some problems in my family as well. My parents are constantly arguing and this doesn't help me feel better while I'm at uni. I feel like my uni experience has completely destroyed all my self-belief and confidence. What do I do? I am so glad I got into a medical school and I love medicine but I just don't fit in - I feel very ungrateful and guilty for feeling like this but what do i do? I am going to be the treasurer for a society next year so I am hoping that would improve my confidence and help me meet more people but I feel like nothing is going to change the fact that I don't fit in at my medical school. How do I change the way I think?

    Please don't get angry after reading this thread but I really am desperate now - I don't even know if people can understand how I am feeling right now. I really feel so hopeless- I feel like if I continue at the same place, I will make a very bad doctor or I might fail my exams and drop out and I don't want that. This time last year, I believed that I would do well at uni and make a good doctor but since starting uni, I feel like I am never going to achieve any of that and I am never going to like my life or ever be happy. Can someone please tell me what is wrong with me?
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    (Original post by mv2010)
    Hello

    So I've finished my first year of medical school but I still don't like my medical school and don't feel like I fit in at all. I know this is all my fault but I am lost and I keep crying everytime I think about how much I was looking forward to uni this time last year and how much I dread going back to uni in september. Since going to uni, I've lost all my confidence - I built up a lot of self-confidence when I was at school but I don't have that any more- I hate everythigng about myself and keep thinking that I am a failure for not enjoying uni as much as my friends.

    I feel so hopeless and trapped. I don't know what to do. How do I regain my confidence? I think constantly feeling low at uni has also afffected my grades because I feel like I could have done much better in some of my exams if I had been happier at the time. I don't want this to carry on next year as well. I am having some problems in my family as well. My parents are constantly arguing and this doesn't help me feel better while I'm at uni. I feel like my uni experience has completely destroyed all my self-belief and confidence. What do I do? I am so glad I got into a medical school and I love medicine but I just don't fit in - I feel very ungrateful and guilty for feeling like this but what do i do? I am going to be the treasurer for a society next year so I am hoping that would improve my confidence and help me meet more people but I feel like nothing is going to change the fact that I don't fit in at my medical school. How do I change the way I think?

    Please don't get angry after reading this thread but I really am desperate now - I don't even know if people can understand how I am feeling right now. I really feel so hopeless- I feel like if I continue at the same place, I will make a very bad doctor or I might fail my exams and drop out and I don't want that. This time last year, I believed that I would do well at uni and make a good doctor but since starting uni, I feel like I am never going to achieve any of that and I am never going to like my life or ever be happy. Can someone please tell me what is wrong with me?
    There might not be something wrong with you. I felt exactly the same in my first year of uni which I've just completed. I feel as though my experience there completely broke me down into an emotional wreck; I got depression around December which was up and down at first but then spiralled downhill near the end of the academic year. I've decided that I'm not going back and am going through clearing for a different course at a different uni, so I'm running away from it all really. I feel so relieved and much happier for it though! Perhaps transferring is an option for you?

    There's a book called 'Feeling Good' which is about how to change your way of thinking, especially made for people with depression (can't remember if you said you have it). I bought it a while ago and only got round to reading the first chapter but it's supposed to be very good, you should check it out.

    Good luck with whatever you decide to do! Don't let the rest of your uni years be like the first!
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    you need to find people on your social level. dont try and be something your not
 
 
 
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