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Girlfriend out of order? Watch

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    (Original post by Sweet_Heart)
    Hmmmm I don't know why I say it really It's in my head, it's there, why not? I don't mean anything by it and the guys that I'm with know that. It's like getting upset with a guy for saying that he finds Megan Fox hot, which is irrational, she is hot, so why shouldn't he say it? If it was towards one particular girl then sure, I'd be insecure about that, but at the end of the day, there's nothing more to it than a sexual observation. I notice a man and I find him attractive, but I don't fancy him, there's nothing emotional in it. I really think that it's harmless.

    Nah, it wasn't chessy, it was sweet.
    See, if only the OP's girlfriend expressed herself like you have lol.
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    (Original post by Panda Vinnie)
    How could you possibly make this conclusion? She's not aware of what she's doing...how do you know?

    It's irrelevant anyway, nobody here can provide the reasoning for her actions for sure...the OP is simply asking if such behaviour is acceptable. It isn't if it's upsetting him, so OP my advice to you would be to let her know and communicate. She could be doing it by accident as an innocent throw-away comment, or it could be intentional. Either way, let her know and hopefully that will put a stop to it if she considers your feelings.
    I know because if she honestly fancied any of these men she wouldn't be stupid enough to announce it to her boyfriend. She might be being insensitive, but I'm fairly sure that she isn't aware of it.

    Why on earth would it be intentional? Why would any girlfriend deliberately want to hurt her boyfriend? It's not acceptable if she is doing it on purpose of course, but I sincerely doubt that she is. In any case, I do in part agree with you. OP, if you are really this unhappy just speak to her about it.
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    (Original post by Sweet_Heart)
    Hmmmm I don't know why I say it really It's in my head, it's there, why not? I don't mean anything by it and the guys that I'm with know that. It's like getting upset with a guy for saying that he finds Megan Fox hot, which is irrational, she is hot, so why shouldn't he say it? If it was towards one particular girl then sure, I'd be insecure about that, but at the end of the day, there's nothing more to it than a sexual observation. I notice a man and I find him attractive, but I don't fancy him, there's nothing emotional in it. I really think that it's harmless.

    Nah, it wasn't chessy, it was sweet.
    If the comment was directed at a well known celeb, then sure I suppose it's fine. However, in the OP's case it's towards his friends, and other random strangers, which I find rather disrespecful, particularly if it's on-going.
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    You need to chill mate, obviously you're not the only guy in the world she finds attractive but you're the one she wants to be with. Do you watch porn? Do you think if she knew that you watch porn she'd make a thread on TSR saying she's now insecure because you find other women attractive? Put things in perspective and have a bit of trust.
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    (Original post by Sweet_Heart)
    I know because if she honestly fancied any of these men she wouldn't be stupid enough to announce it to her boyfriend. She might be being insensitive, but I'm fairly sure that she isn't aware of it.

    Why on earth would it be intentional? Why would any girlfriend deliberately want to hurt her boyfriend? It's not acceptable if she is doing it on purpose of course, but I sincerely doubt that she is. In any case, I do in part agree with you. OP, if you are really this unhappy just speak to her about it.
    Ohhhh, I get your logic now...because YOU sincerely doubt that she is then that makes it the case.

    I see :yep:

    You'd be naive if you think even people in relationships don't play mind games, not everybody does but it's not unheard of. People do say tactical things to have an effect on the other, or to make them jealous, or follow that 'treat them mean to keep them keen' mentality.

    What kind of stupid person tells their other half that their friends are good looking or fit :dry: what kind of jackassery is that :sigh:
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    (Original post by WildBerrySpirit)
    If the comment was directed at a well known celeb, then sure I suppose it's fine. However, in the OP's case it's towards his friends, and other random strangers, which I find rather disrespecful, particularly if it's on-going.
    I didn't actually see the 'mates' bit, and I'll admit that that's not cool and he needs to have words with her about that, but I still reason that it's perfectly harmless. Tactless, to say the least, but I really don't think she means anything by it. After all, if you fancied your boyfriend's mate, you wouldn't tell him, would you haha?

    Oh and the random strangers bit acts just like celebrities; you don't know them and there's nothing emotional there. It's all biological and moreover hypothetical.
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    she's probably trying to make you jealous due to her own insecurities, she might feel she needs to keep you on your toes to keep you interested?
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    (Original post by Panda Vinnie)
    Ohhhh, I get your logic now...because YOU sincerely doubt that she is then that makes it the case.

    I see :yep:

    You'd be naive if you think even people in relationships don't play mind games, not everybody does but it's not unheard of. People do say tactical things to have an effect on the other, or to make them jealous, or follow that 'treat them mean to keep them keen' mentality.

    What kind of stupid person tells their other half that their friends are good looking or fit :dry: what kind of jackassery is that :sigh:

    Jackassery :borat: an excellent word!
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    Damn the relationship vending machine broke down again?

    It's so unreliable, I'm sorry they are out of order of girlfriends, I'll have a word ^^
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    hmm call me sexist here but I'm sure we've had similar threads where roles are reversed (so OP is female and the boyfriend is cooing at other girls) and the response, particularly from the female members of the forum but males too, is a bit different... That said it may be she doesn't realise how much it makes you uncomfortable, have you tried talking about seriously? However she's relatively young..it's naturally immature behaviour.
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    Return her before you get food poisoning!!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Going on her ex boyfriends profile on facebook and look at his updates...
    Massive red flag. I'd get out of that now, as she is inevitably going to cheat on you. Don't be an idiot and stay in it.

    EDIT: Upon reading some of the responses, theres a massive spewing of inexperienced, stab-in-the-dark advice going on. This is going to end badly, eventually. Maybe in a few weeks, maybe a in a few months, though it will end. And OP will get hurt.

    (Original post by mosmof)
    your girlfriend is seriously out of order. do your trust her? i sure wouldnt. all of what you've said is really dodgy and i really dont know why you are still with her.

    you are being walked over and treated like this because she knows you wont leave her.
    Know what's funny? This post was given 6 negs, yet it's right on the money. See bolded.
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    It's not a problem to find other people attractive.
    It IS a problem that she feels the need to tell you constantly.

    Depending on how ballsy you feel, either tell her you don't appreciate it, start doing the same or everytime she says so, say something like "Why don't you go and see if he'll put up with you and your crap then?"
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    She sounds 16. I don't think it's anything to worry about.
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    (Original post by joey11223)
    hmm call me sexist here but I'm sure we've had similar threads where roles are reversed (so OP is female and the boyfriend is cooing at other girls) and the response, particularly from the female members of the forum but males too, is a bit different...
    That's exactly what I was thinking.

    I personally think it's out order. Especially if she's saying it about his friends.
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    Call maintenance ^
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    (Original post by Sweet_Heart)
    She's not aware she's doing it at all. It's an unconscious thing - we all do it. You're telling me that if you saw a pretty girl that you wouldn't recognise that she was pretty, even if you didn't fancy her? I recognise when girls are pretty and I'm a straight female.

    Basically, image is such an important part of daily life that for some reason we seem to comment on people's appearances as if it's a way of defining them. "Have you met Emily?" "No, what's she like?" "Brunette, quite slim, quite pretty..." Note that the question isn't "What does she look like?" but that that's where most people will inevitably start.

    So, to conclude, she's not doing it to make you insecure, she's probably not even aware that she is doing it! If you do feel upset by it, you should probably talk to her, but I guarantee that she means nothing by it.

    Oh she knows exactly what she is doing,and I know this from personal experience as a girl like this ruined a friendship I had. This girl dated me first, and we didn't get on at all and I dumped her,she was in tears and I felt bad so took her back then she dumped me. She then started to date my best friend at uni.Who was the shy academic sensitive type.

    Now he had never had a girlfriend before, and he was completely in love with her, as well as being insanely jealous of any guys she had gone out with ,including me.And she had gone out with a lot of guys,and looks like anna friel. She knew how he felt, it was obvious, and because I lived with him, she would press his buttons constantly.Seemingly innocent comments like asking where I was, asking me if I could take her to the shops, asking him about my love life. Coming up and hugging me when I had been away.

    I didn't realise at first what she was doing,But needless to say, she messed his head up big time with all these digs over me, and we fell out majorly over it.

    She knew,because much later she actually said sorry to me,wrote me a letter. She nearly got him thrown out of med school because she gets off on it.


    My advice to the op is dump her and don't look back. Sure people in relationships find others attractive. But believe me she knows exactly what people are saying about her , she knows how it makes him feel .And she is rubbing it in,because she gets off on it. You would not believe the trouble girls like this cause.I bet she would never date a guy on her level because it couldn't fit her ego.
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    Dont get too close mate your young, shes younger, and especially with the way you feel shouldnt be doing those things.
    I can say myself if a girl i was with did that.. and the wouldnt. boom- bye bye. harsh but to me its like shes taking the piss out of you to your face.
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    how about you back up and stop being an over senstitive clingy pansy. Her job is not to be your ego boost, from what you said she makes a couple of random comments and your stewing in your own juices and over analysing things.

    She is with you despite your personal issues (your opening post is so full of self put downs its nauseating) so count your blessings.

    She is not out of order and i would suggest you start looking to building up your confidence (for yourself not for her). Whinging self pity and no confidence is about as attractive as stepping on dog poo in your bare feet.
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    (Original post by Boobies.)
    I don't think she's being immature.. In an adult realistic relationship its seems quite childish to pretend that because you're together neither of you find other people attractive. And just because she's with you doesn't mean she can't be friends with her ex's. She doesn't fancy other boys - she's just saying their attractive.

    Think about it, she's with you.

    However, If she's trying to rub it in your face, then that's slightly different, but I doubt she even knows she's doing it.
    Best thing to do is tell her your not sure if your being abit dumb, but that this is getting to you.
    In my opinion, I think maybe she's being somewhat considerate, and that you're being hypersensitive, and that its something you just need to talk about.
    Exactly, I can't see what's wrong with what she is doing - in this world there are many pretty women (Susan Coffey, Lily Loveless etc.) However if she starts rubbing it in his face constantly that’s going to diminish his confidence then that’s when he should draw the line. Nice username by the way :borat:.
 
 
 
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