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No friends. No life. Very lonely. Watch

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    Erm...this is a tricky question making friends for meh is simples perhaps in time you'll learn.
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    I feel a bit like I wrote this post and then completely forgot it happened.

    Um, no advice, just, hi, I'm in almost exactly the same situation as you- except my boyfriend and his friends live quite a lot closer than a hundred miles and I'm in my third year of university.

    So... commiserations to us, I guess?
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    #2

    everything you've said so far is 100% what has happened to me/what I thought

    As you say...its all the small things which piss my off,

    Take of example, few weeks ago I suggested to flatmates that we should have a big/awesome christmas party feast and go out...they just shruged/ignored the idea and continued with there oh so interesting "gossip" lives...

    Yesturday...saw one housemate setting up some food in the kitchen ,so I asked what the special occasion was,
    she used the excuse that she was cooking for her parenst for when they arrive to pick her up...

    Only to find out that they held a flatmate secret santa event, then a big christmas party/feast..leaving me uninvited sitting in my own room which is directly next to the kitchen this was occuring in...(couldnt walk in as everytime they hold a mini kitchen rave I just get given an un-welcoming "GTFO of this room" glance).

    And now this one person who I thought I befriended well, is now completely cutting me off from him,
    blagging about how awesome/crazy his nights have been with this other group not even blinking at the thought for inviting me after all the suggestions I've said to him,

    especially after all the nights where I've had to stop my clubbing nights with a society, we both happened to join, as he wouldnt have the correct dress code which was clearly stated in advance...

    Uni is supposed to be the "the best time of your life" I've not seen a glimpse of enjoyment yet...its bloody depressing =/

    Moving to new house in 2-3 day time, to get rid of this awkward aura which my flatmate have given me and hopfully start a-fresh with these new housemates.

    Outta random intrest what uni you go to xD? (Ive realised most of the people at my Uni have the same mind sent =/ )
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Perhaps its just that I've never had this problem before. I'm not an unsociable person in anyway its just that I'm insecure about starting talking to people like that because I think they'll just assume I'm a weirdo and that'd be even worse than having no friends.

    I just don't know how these situations are ever 'presented' to me. As far as I can see I haven't had any opportunities to improve on relationships with people. It seems like they all slipped into some big Freshers week group and I just wasn't a part of.
    I'm not having a go here in case it sounds like that.

    You'll notice more opportunities if you look for them. Just think about certain places that could help. If you are at your bf's house so much surely you bump into some of his house maytes in the kitchen or something ? Make small talk. I'm sure he wont mind you seeing them.

    What ever happened with your societies ? Did you not meet anyone there ? I find people join them because they don't have anyone that shares said interest around them. I met one of my best friends at guitar club and after us only speaking a few times he asked me over facebook if I wanted to go to a gig because he didn't know of anyone else who liked the band. I said yes straight away and was glad he asked. It wasn't awkward at all.

    How come you think it's awkward to just ask people things ? If you don't know them at all then fine but if your relationship is based on something (a society, being in the same class or playing the same sport) then there is nothing weird on asking someone to do something based on that. You never know where it could lead
    • #1
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    #1

    (Original post by TheFlyingDutchman)
    I'm not having a go here in case it sounds like that.

    You'll notice more opportunities if you look for them. Just think about certain places that could help. If you are at your bf's house so much surely you bump into some of his house maytes in the kitchen or something ? Make small talk. I'm sure he wont mind you seeing them.

    What ever happened with your societies ? Did you not meet anyone there ? I find people join them because they don't have anyone that shares said interest around them. I met one of my best friends at guitar club and after us only speaking a few times he asked me over facebook if I wanted to go to a gig because he didn't know of anyone else who liked the band. I said yes straight away and was glad he asked. It wasn't awkward at all.

    How come you think it's awkward to just ask people things ? If you don't know them at all then fine but if your relationship is based on something (a society, being in the same class or playing the same sport) then there is nothing weird on asking someone to do something based on that. You never know where it could lead
    As I just said.. my boyfriends friends are nice people and I get on with them. But they live 100 miles away and I see them once a month. The other 27 days of the month is when I feel horribly lonely.

    As I've said though, these people are not on a close enough level for me to go inviting myself along to things with them. I honestly couldn't see myself going up to someone in a dance class or something and saying 'hey do you want to go shopping with me?' I'd sound like a complete weirdo if I did that :/
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    What uni do you go to?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    As I just said.. my boyfriends friends are nice people and I get on with them. But they live 100 miles away and I see them once a month. The other 27 days of the month is when I feel horribly lonely.

    As I've said though, these people are not on a close enough level for me to go inviting myself along to things with them. I honestly couldn't see myself going up to someone in a dance class or something and saying 'hey do you want to go shopping with me?' I'd sound like a complete weirdo if I did that :/

    Hmm I think the problem you need to address is your fear of rejection ?

    You should realise that everyone feels lonely sometimes. I've got an amazing gf and a group of friends that are great but I still feel bored/alone sometimes. If an acquaintance who I thought was suggested we do something that I thought could be fun I would say ok

    My advice to you is take a risk
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This is going to sound like one of those same old moany threads but I really don't know what to do

    I'm in my first year of uni and I have no friends here. I don't even really have friends at home (they are at uni elsewhere with their new friends). All I have is my boyfriend and his friends, who still aren't really my friends (well, they would consider me just 'his girlfriend who's at our house every now and again' not like a real part of their friendship group). Thing is they all live about 100 miles away.

    I'm just so lonely. I tried joining societies and stuff to make friends, and I have met lovely people, but they're all in their own little friendship groups and don't even consider me anything more than someone they see once a week and chat to. I guess I don't seem like a very shy or quiet person, so maybe they assume I have friends?

    I live off campus and my housemates are not my kind of people at all.

    I just don't know what to do. I'm fairly good at being alone and don't mind my own company, but its just the little things. I was really excited to see the new Harry Potter film, but had no one to go with so I haven't been (haven't plucked up the courage to go on my own yet). I dread the weekends because they're just a big gap of time when I don't even have uni to keep me occupied.

    I don't know how to make a good little group of friends, I just don't know how to get 'into' a group. Seriously how do people do it? Is it just that I'm such a loser than no one wants me?

    I feel so lonely. I just want to have a person who might text me and ask me if I want to go to the pub with them, or go to town, or even just watch a film or something, but no one cares about me and I feel so horribly lonely.
    Well...I don't think there is a specific technique into 'getting' into a group of mates. It usually..well..just happens.

    I've just recently joined a new group of people, because of an argument in my normal group of mates that is causing sooo much drama that I just couldn't be arsed anymore.

    But I don't know...you just have a good day or something with them. Maybe between lectures ask whoever you're sitting next to if yous want to go for a cup of coffee in the break? Then have chat and stuff.

    But I do get you on the lonelyness. I feel the same sometimes.
    Even with people/'friends' around - there is sometimes no-one to really talk to. And I sometimes get the feeling that the people used to consider my friends, don't actually give a rats arse about me.
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    Its horrible feeling like this. I myself had a great friendship circle in school, then when I was 15 I got mentally ill and didnt make friends properly until uni. Again these friends are nice, it seems like my friendships are depper than yours but I think becuase I have trust issues and am a more complex person to get to know, in my eyes I cant class them as real friends.
    Just wanted you to know we are all going through this. I hope you anjoy christmas and take comfort in what you do have. If your finding thinking of things hard then add me on facebook and im happy to talk to you or message me on here. You can never stop trying to make too many friends!!!
    Where do you live/study btw? Nowhere near Durham is it because you could pop by next semester and have lunch with me?
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    If you dont mind me asking which uni do you attend?
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    If you're at a London uni i'll be your friend and go shopping and go and see harry potter with you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    everything you've said so far is 100% what has happened to me/what I thought

    As you say...its all the small things which piss my off,

    Take of example, few weeks ago I suggested to flatmates that we should have a big/awesome christmas party feast and go out...they just shruged/ignored the idea and continued with there oh so interesting "gossip" lives...

    Yesturday...saw one housemate setting up some food in the kitchen ,so I asked what the special occasion was,
    she used the excuse that she was cooking for her parenst for when they arrive to pick her up...

    Only to find out that they held a flatmate secret santa event, then a big christmas party/feast..leaving me uninvited sitting in my own room which is directly next to the kitchen this was occuring in...(couldnt walk in as everytime they hold a mini kitchen rave I just get given an un-welcoming "GTFO of this room" glance).

    And now this one person who I thought I befriended well, is now completely cutting me off from him,
    blagging about how awesome/crazy his nights have been with this other group not even blinking at the thought for inviting me after all the suggestions I've said to him,

    especially after all the nights where I've had to stop my clubbing nights with a society, we both happened to join, as he wouldnt have the correct dress code which was clearly stated in advance...

    Uni is supposed to be the "the best time of your life" I've not seen a glimpse of enjoyment yet...its bloody depressing =/

    Moving to new house in 2-3 day time, to get rid of this awkward aura which my flatmate have given me and hopfully start a-fresh with these new housemates.

    Outta random intrest what uni you go to xD? (Ive realised most of the people at my Uni have the same mind sent =/ )
    wow that is awful, hope you make some new friends in the new flat.
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    Have you thought about joining a club? The way i see it, if you'll never pluck up the courage to talk to someone you'll never know whether you could have been friends with them or not.
    Stop worrying because you're not weird. Everyone goes through a period of feeling lonely or thinking they're loosers.

    JUST DO IT!
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    #1

    (Original post by AlienOnthePlanet)
    Have you thought about joining a club? Do you like sports, drama?
    I am a member of about 5 societies, I attend most of them regularly. As I said, all that has happened is that I've met some nice people who have their own lives, and I just see once a week. They're not friends, they're just people I interact with on occasion.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This is going to sound like one of those same old moany threads but I really don't know what to do

    I'm in my first year of uni and I have no friends here. I don't even really have friends at home (they are at uni elsewhere with their new friends). All I have is my boyfriend and his friends, who still aren't really my friends (well, they would consider me just 'his girlfriend who's at our house every now and again' not like a real part of their friendship group). Thing is they all live about 100 miles away.

    I'm just so lonely. I tried joining societies and stuff to make friends, and I have met lovely people, but they're all in their own little friendship groups and don't even consider me anything more than someone they see once a week and chat to. I guess I don't seem like a very shy or quiet person, so maybe they assume I have friends?

    I live off campus and my housemates are not my kind of people at all.

    I just don't know what to do. I'm fairly good at being alone and don't mind my own company, but its just the little things. I was really excited to see the new Harry Potter film, but had no one to go with so I haven't been (haven't plucked up the courage to go on my own yet). I dread the weekends because they're just a big gap of time when I don't even have uni to keep me occupied.

    I don't know how to make a good little group of friends, I just don't know how to get 'into' a group. Seriously how do people do it? Is it just that I'm such a loser than no one wants me?

    I feel so lonely. I just want to have a person who might text me and ask me if I want to go to the pub with them, or go to town, or even just watch a film or something, but no one cares about me and I feel so horribly lonely.
    make friends with Kenneth.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This is going to sound like one of those same old moany threads but I really don't know what to do

    I'm in my first year of uni and I have no friends here. I don't even really have friends at home (they are at uni elsewhere with their new friends). All I have is my boyfriend and his friends, who still aren't really my friends (well, they would consider me just 'his girlfriend who's at our house every now and again' not like a real part of their friendship group). Thing is they all live about 100 miles away.

    I'm just so lonely. I tried joining societies and stuff to make friends, and I have met lovely people, but they're all in their own little friendship groups and don't even consider me anything more than someone they see once a week and chat to. I guess I don't seem like a very shy or quiet person, so maybe they assume I have friends?

    I live off campus and my housemates are not my kind of people at all.

    I just don't know what to do. I'm fairly good at being alone and don't mind my own company, but its just the little things. I was really excited to see the new Harry Potter film, but had no one to go with so I haven't been (haven't plucked up the courage to go on my own yet). I dread the weekends because they're just a big gap of time when I don't even have uni to keep me occupied.

    I don't know how to make a good little group of friends, I just don't know how to get 'into' a group. Seriously how do people do it? Is it just that I'm such a loser than no one wants me?

    I feel so lonely. I just want to have a person who might text me and ask me if I want to go to the pub with them, or go to town, or even just watch a film or something, but no one cares about me and I feel so horribly lonely.
    Aww, don't worry, I honestly think it'll happen. I'm also in pretty much this situation-plenty of people I see around and chat to, but no-one I'm really good friends with.

    I am a little bit frustrated by it, but whatever, I think you just have to deal with it and get on with stuff. I also don't mind my own company much, I can handle it and I think sometime you'll meet people who you do really get on with, and it will all be fine.

    EVERYONE I've known in this situation got out of it in the end.

    Are you in London?
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    Pick 'n' mix any people in this studentroom, it seems everyone wants to be your friend : )
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    100% snap!

    As you say...its all the small things which piss my off,

    Take of example, few weeks ago I suggested to flatmates that we should have a big/awesome christmas party feast and go out...they just shruged/ignored the idea and continued with there oh so interesting "gossip" lives...

    Yesturday...saw one housemate setting up some food in the kitchen ,so I asked what the special occasion was,
    she used the excuse that she was cooking for her parenst for when they arrive to pick her up...

    Only to find out that they held a flatmate secret santa event, then a big christmas party/feast..leaving me uninvited sitting in my own room which is directly next to the kitchen this was occuring in...(couldnt walk in as everytime they hold a mini kitchen rave I just get given an un-welcoming "GTFO of this room" glance).

    And now this one person who I thought I befriended well, is now completely cutting me off from him,
    blagging about how awesome/crazy his nights have been with this other group not even blinking at the thought for inviting me after all the suggestions I've said to him,

    especially after all the nights where I've had to stop my clubbing nights with a society, we both happened to join, as he wouldnt have the correct dress code which was clearly stated in advance...

    Uni is supposed to be the "the best time of your life" I've not seen a glimpse of enjoyment yet...its bloody depressing =/
    I dunno why you put up with that ****. If someone did that to me I'd have a go at them. I'd make them regret not inviting me.
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    Pfft, at least you have a boyfriend.
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    I'll be your friend! I have practically no one at the moment either, my boyfriend's in China on a gap year, and all my friends have gone to uni, while I have to resit the final year of sixth form due to illness But I doubt we live next to each other...don't s'pose you live in N Wales? :P
 
 
 
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